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Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 11:50:17 AM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		At the risk of being flamed, i would just like to get something off my chest. i very much enjoy this site - i like the diversity of perspectives and topics. But one thing that i find quite irritating is people who admit, on their profile, they have absolutely no real life experience but provide all kinds of advice to others, creating the impression that they actually know what they're talking about.

For example one such person openly admits he is new to all of this and his only reference of study are the Gor novels. Yet, time and time again he presents advice to others like he's some sort of highly experienced expert. This is very misleading to those seeking real and helpful information. My recommendation to anyone seeking informative help on these boards - check out the person's profile before applying their suggestions - CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

Okay - i'm done. Thank you all for listening - i've gotten something off my chest that's been irrititating me for a bit.


_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?
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RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 11:57:41 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks submotive, I find it very irritating as well. When one is asking for advice on a message board such as this they should certainly use common sense in applying any advice they receive to their lives. I'm not sure that checking out a profile though is the answer, as anyone can write a profile claiming "expert authority". Certainly our best defense is our own common sense.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Submotive)
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RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 11:58:47 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		And when in doubt, just remember that I know everything and am perfect so that's all you need. ;)

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:01:14 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would rather think it depends on the nature of the advice.

There are some things that are common sense. (IE things that do not require BDSM experience to comment on, but instead they require life experience).

Then there are things of a technical nature that require someone with experience. For example one who has never spanked someone should not be giving advice on how to use a single tailed whip.

Personally, I am not terribly "experienced" in many of the instruments used for BDSM play, I have some relationship dynamic experience and some masochist experience, but for much play I am totally unknowledgeable. If I want advice on that I will seek a book or real life advice.

On the other hand when it comes to the dynamic advice, I would rather take that from a wise person with little experience than someone a lot younger or arrogant no matter their experience level. I think it depends on the issue being discussed is my point.

You can be an expert on flogging for example, but be completely emotionally stunted.... Thats all I am saying, which is just my opinion....lol

My advice to anyone seeking info on BDSM play is look to real life interactions with people that know what they are doing before being risky in your play.. go to a dungeon and talk to the host and that sort of thing... don't do something someone on a message board recommends because you really have no idea what experince they have in doing an activity.... at least i wouldnt want my dom to learn how to use some torture device this way...LOL

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Submotive)
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RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:03:25 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And when in doubt, just remember that I know everything and am perfect so that's all you need. ;)


Ah, so good to know LA - next time i am in trouble with Master, i will direct Him to You for an explanation. LOL

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:05:07 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And when in doubt, just remember that I know everything and am perfect so that's all you need. ;)


LOL....maybe they should just change the message board side of collarme's name to Ask LA. You could have your own little BDSM version of Dear Abby!!!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:06:12 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		hello submotive-(nice avatar)---perhaps to save you a few flames--smiles--I would agree to a certain extent--however, life experiences are at times very hard for people to gain---whether play scenes, groups, munches, or well-- any semblance of 24/7--I for one know I am very limiting in the characteristics I seek--and I often get questions like ( with a whine..) "but Mistress, how do I gain experience if you won't help Me?"---I also know that there are those with very detailed "expert" profiles who have never been beyond fantasies--and it works across all spectrums--so I can feel your frustration--but there are no guarantees---it is just as irritating to see advice from one who may not have the depth of experience I may require---or from one who professes tons of experience and responds with ideas that make Me go "WTF"--and when one is hungry for knowledge it is like the smartaleck student in your major college class---
 
So I would suggest perhaps sifting---take it for what it is--some test the theory of swimming by wading in the water to see if it feels good and then give detailed surfer lessons to the guy in the beach---others go silently out and do their thing---it is very easy to see the ones who walk the talk.
 


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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:07:08 PM   
VvShadowspawnvV


Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		hi submotive  =)

As mistoferin said, it's all about common sense.  Following the advice of any random unaccredited online person in regards to an important aspect of your life is probably not a good idea- unless, having read said advice, it makes total sense to YOU.  i tend to read what 20 people have to say, and then come up with a 21st answer that incorporates bits and pieces.  Typing in an authoritative manner means no more than that one can type authoritatively.  i can assert any number of things authoritatively.  And if i do so in a bold, black font, it makes me a Dom.  =P

Grain of salt people... And it's nice when someone inserts an "I'm no expert, but it seems to me...".

becca

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:07:40 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And when in doubt, just remember that I know everything and am perfect so that's all you need. ;)


OHHH LA, that is priceless! You are indeed frisky today!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:08:58 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
LOL....maybe they should just change the message board side of collarme's name to Ask LA. You could have your own little BDSM version of Dear Abby!!!


OMG you actually made me blush with that.  I hate you now.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:33:26 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
LOL....maybe they should just change the message board side of collarme's name to Ask LA. You could have your own little BDSM version of Dear Abby!!!


OMG you actually made me blush with that.  I hate you now.



i thought you liked humiliation play.

< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 5/18/2006 12:34:39 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:36:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
i thought you liked humiliation play.

Remember that whole "burning" concept?  It's completely love/hate.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:43:23 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		yes, i know the feeling. Actually i am surprised that i didn't run into you at Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, as i assume that you and i both went to the classes taught by Master Phantom and femcar.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:47:11 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
yes, i know the feeling. Actually i am surprised that i didn't run into you at Dark Odyssey Winter Fire, as i assume that you and i both went to the classes taught by Master Phantom and femcar.

Nope, I've seen their classes before.  I really wanted to hit more of the "Sacred Whore" type classes.

But you probably saw me wearing the purple dress/tiara at the truth or dare game, the green sari during the day or the naked chick dancing blindfolded after New Year's.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 12:48:56 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, i saw you there, i probably checked you in, as i spent a lot of my time at Dark Odyssey working the desk.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 1:55:12 PM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I also know that there are those with very detailed "expert" profiles who have never been beyond fantasies--


Oh now my whole image of Collerme has been crushed.  Do you mean that all those talking about how they can only slip into subspace as the single tail slices their skin 50-60 times may not really have ever felt the sting of even one????  Or those on the chat that "kneel" during the whole time they are on (sometimes hours), may actually be sitting in their Lazyboy?

Could have knocked me over with a feather.


_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 2:22:05 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		That happens in all areas of life Submotive, people claiming to know what they are talking about but really are clueless. If you just settle into that fact, it will stop the frustration.

Agree with what you said, always good to take a step back from what people are offering and really assess the information, especially if its in an area that is of real significance to you and your life.


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Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 2:36:01 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

Owned by Scotch Master


I am sorry - and I know you will think that I am being really pedantic. But your signature should say Owned by a Scotts Master - Scotch is a whiskey.

I do apologise in advance to those who think I should do this through e-mail.

< Message edited by Sab -- 5/18/2006 2:42:30 PM >

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God blessed it and it brought me to her.

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 2:40:02 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		You will get no flames from me Submotive.  I agree with you, and while some advice given may still be valid, it definitely behooves one to read a profile, and watch a poster before deciding he/she ought to be trusted and followed.   Indeed without common sense, one can seriously land self in danger by following some advisors, but that is kind of how life is.   Hopefully most of us omit some errors by learning why/how others have made them; and than sometimes we insist on beating our own paths, and learning the hard way...  Whoever said that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger was right on!    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Submotive)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Experience vs. Theory - 5/18/2006 2:51:44 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sab
quote:

Owned by Scotch Master

I am sorry - and I know you will think that I am being really pedantic. But your signature should say Owned by a Scotts Master - Scotch is a whiskey.

I do apologise in advance to those who think I should do this through e-mail.
I don't think you should apologize (or express phony sentiments)  when you've put forethought into something, decided it might be embarrassing, but do it anyway... 

I looked up what you said, because I wasn't sure Scotch is only used to describe whiskey.  Here's what I found in a dictionary: 
quote:

Scotch    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (skch)
n.
  1. (used with a pl. verb) The people of Scotland.
  2. Scots English.
  3. Scotch whisky.


adj.
  1. Scottish. See Usage Note at Scottish.

quote:






Main Entry: 1Scotch
Pronunciation: 'skäch
Function: adjective
Etymology: contraction of Scottish
1 : SCOTTISH
2 : inclined to frugality

So it seems Scotch is an adjective to describe a Scottish person.         M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Sab)
Profile   Post #: 20
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