RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma

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candystripper -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:24:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper quote: Interesting argument but fucking isn't cheating .. it's lying about fucking which is cheating and there aren't animals that you can point to which do that.. with the exception of man. Celeste ...As for me, i'd consider both cheating and lying to be Intolerable...but Celeste has a point...they are not equally grave. S'how the lying about cheating is worse, imho. uhhhhhhhhhh... huh? I have a feeling that is not a point Celeste was making. Her point was fucking is not cheating...lying about fucking is cheating. While she did NOT say cheating and lying are not equally grave...I'd bet she means they are; and I'd agree whole heartedly. JMHO beverly beverly, i said, "as for me" re"cheating; i'm sorry if it was unclear i did not mean to attribute that to Celeste. As for the gravity of "cheating" vs. "lying about cheating" i guess you could make an argument either way as to which was worse....but i don't tolerate either. candystripper

cloudboy -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:40:14 AM)
quote: I don't really remember how this happened, but the other day, when we were together, *in his bedroom* and bored, we started just playing around with each other. I must say, I found this line particularly amusing.

BitaTruble -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 8:26:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper quote: Interesting argument but fucking isn't cheating .. it's lying about fucking which is cheating and there aren't animals that you can point to which do that.. with the exception of man. Celeste ...As for me, i'd consider both cheating and lying to be Intolerable...but Celeste has a point...they are not equally grave. S'how the lying about cheating is worse, imho. uhhhhhhhhhh... huh? I have a feeling that is not a point Celeste was making. Her point was fucking is not cheating...lying about fucking is cheating. While she did NOT say cheating and lying are not equally grave...I'd bet she means they are; and I'd agree whole heartedly. JMHO beverly You got it, Beverly. For the purpose of this thread what I meant is cheating is lying about your fucking. It's the same thing so there is no level of gravity. They are equally despicable because they are the same thing. Celeste

Dustyn -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 8:32:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper quote: Interesting argument but fucking isn't cheating .. it's lying about fucking which is cheating and there aren't animals that you can point to which do that.. with the exception of man. Celeste ...As for me, i'd consider both cheating and lying to be Intolerable...but Celeste has a point...they are not equally grave. S'how the lying about cheating is worse, imho. uhhhhhhhhhh... huh? I have a feeling that is not a point Celeste was making. Her point was fucking is not cheating...lying about fucking is cheating. While she did NOT say cheating and lying are not equally grave...I'd bet she means they are; and I'd agree whole heartedly. JMHO beverly You got it, Beverly. For the purpose of this thread what I meant is cheating is lying about your fucking. It's the same thing so there is no level of gravity. They are equally despicable because they are the same thing. Celeste Preach it, girl.

BitaTruble -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 8:40:41 AM)
Life would be so much easier if people would just ask one simple question of a potential partner. "Do you want to fuck anything that moves and says yes?" If the answer is affirmative, no one would be cheating and there would be lots of happy fucking going on. Ah, bliss. Of course, we wouldn't have so much to talk about on the forums, but I'd be willing to take that chance. [:D] Celeste

txpet -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 10:00:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Life would be so much easier if people would just ask one simple question of a potential partner. "Do you want to fuck anything that moves and says yes?" If the answer is affirmative, no one would be cheating and there would be lots of happy fucking going on. Ah, bliss. Of course, we wouldn't have so much to talk about on the forums, but I'd be willing to take that chance. [:D] Celeste Heeeeeeeeee .... we'd have lots of interesting details to discuss and less time to discuss them too ... i'm with you, i think i would be willing to take the risk ::giggle::

Dustyn -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 10:01:42 AM)
It would be such a wonderful change of pace. But it's probably too simplstic for most to grasp without being insulted for some dumb ass reason. Personally, I'd like to know what my penis might or might not be exposed to. I'm kind of attached to it, ya know? But some people just want to do what they want to do and be damned the consequences to others...

Bearlee -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 3:25:07 PM)
...but...is fucking online cheating? I met a Dom who told me to get on my knees and suck him right there. I really want to... but... is it cheating if it's online? If I do fuck him online, can I still say I'm a virgin? What if I only suck him online? Is that okay? Am I cheating if I only suck him online??? Okay... I've been reading too much online crap. Sorry; my sense of humor has been warped today. I'll be better after I sleep. I promise. <wanders off giggling>

txpet -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 3:35:01 PM)
::giggle:: But unfortuantely it is possible to get in trouble with one's Master even when one is only talking online if one is not careful ::sigh::

candystripper -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 5:42:42 PM)
quote: ...but...is fucking online cheating? I met a Dom who told me to get on my knees and suck him right there. I really want to... but... is it cheating if it's online? If I do fuck him online, can I still say I'm a virgin? What if I only suck him online? Is that okay? Am I cheating if I only suck him online??? Okay... I've been reading too much online crap. Sorry; my sense of humor has been warped today. I'll be better after I sleep. I promise. <wanders off giggling> Bearlee IMHO, yes, cybering is a form of cheating. Particularly in a cyber-buddy relationship, where emotionality becomes entangled. There is no doubt the cyber-cheater is draining time, energy, sexual interest, and emotional availabity in this fashion. Also, IMHO, the cyber-cheater is s'times working up the nerve for the real deal; whether with His/her cyber-buddy or with A/another. i rarely cyber; i find once a Man's aroused the first time, the convos everafter are sexual in nature, and no further information is forthcoming. in my vanilla life, i had a cyber-buddy with whom i had a very intense, nightly chat and then discovered he was living with a woman. For various reasons, this woman seemed to be his girlfriend, rather than just a roommate. i was upset when i found out -- with him, with myself -- and ended our contact pronto. This is by no means a condemnation of cyber altogether. It can be loads of fun, and can keep P/pl who are separated by distance or who are both unattached quite amused. i consider myself a very accomplished cyber-er. i also consider myself the Best BJ Giver East of the Mississippi, but i don't give bjs to all comers. candystripper

DsPassions -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:03:43 PM)
we are new to the board so first of all, hello and its nice to meet you all. I think the OP has a wayyy too vivid fantasy life, but I agree that you should always take your time when ending a relationship. Also Bearlee, verrrry funny post lol

Sensualips -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:12:49 PM)
I have only made it half way through the thread, but I am astounded. If a married person comes on this forum and contemplates cheating to get needs met - they are savagely beat down. In this case, the girlfriend may be "emotionally out of the picture", the OP is "on the right track" and should "jump his bones." I am not sure why the disparity. Is marriage so much more sacred than other committed relationships?

spankmepink11 -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:20:29 PM)
I encouraged the OP to meet her needs...but did not specify how or with whom. There are lots of non sexual acts of intimacy...and submission...

candystripper -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:29:10 PM)
quote: I have only made it half way through the thread, but I am astounded. If a married person comes on this forum and contemplates cheating to get needs met - they are savagely beat down. In this case, the girlfriend may be "emotionally out of the picture", the OP is "on the right track" and should "jump his bones." I am not sure why the disparity. Is marriage so much more sacred than other committed relationships? Sensualips Sensualips, i believe the thread you are referring to is "Married Men as Doms" or words to that effect. <Too tired to go look it up.> i know my post on that thread was certainly not "bashing" Anyone who acts with honesty, and i thought O/other posts were equally supportive. To answer your final question, yes, to S/some P/pl, marriage is more sacred than any other form of committed relationship. With the divorce rate hovering at 50%, i'd say not E/everyone, married or not, agrees with this. i guess it's like any other relationship; if it is sacred to T/those involved, what else matters? candystripper

candystripper -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:37:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Invictus754 Is my suggestion "immoral"? Most people would say yes, but by my moral compass, it is true North. Live to please yourself. Maybe you will find out he is lousy in sackville, and decide that you don't want him. Then you will be glad you can kick him to the curb and he has a girlfriend. quote: The problem is- will this serve her pleasure in the long term? Being with a guy who doesn't have enough confidence, honesty, and esteem to end one relationship before another? Being with someone VERY shortly after a big break up in which you got involved too hard too fast previous? I don't see anything about this situation that leads to happy endings. She's ALREADY feeling conflicted and awash in drama- that's not pleasure. Getting a few hot orgasms isn't the same as actually finding pleasure and fulfillment in life. LuckyAlbatross This from a woman who admits to and promotes anonymous sex with strangers? I believe Invititcus' point was, the Op should be guided by her own instincts/desires/self-interest and not by posters on a message board bashing her for even entertaining the idea. candystripper

candystripper -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 6:46:41 PM)
quote: And while we can't answer the question, we can make really good educated guesses. I've followed Sweet and her relationship path pretty closely ever since she started posting here. Might not seem like it, but I take a keen interest to the young novices here. LuckyAlbatross IME, having LA "take a keen interest" in me has been nothing but a waste of space......and i have seen her do the same thing to others. May i ask when the Op pissed in your wheaties, LA? candystripper

Invictus754 -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 7:38:19 PM)
I guess I shouldn't have gone to sleep last night... I find it interesting that this went from cheating, to lying about cheating to cybering ... and all were intolerable forms of behavior. What if your mate THINKS about fucking someone else, but doesn't tell you? Did he cheat? What if he fantasizes about someone else during the act and doesn't tell you? Did he cross an emotional line and should be horse-whipped for even considering that you are not the supreme end-all significant other? So if the guy TELLS his girlfriend, "hey, I love you, but I'm gonna fuck this woman who has the hots for me" you are saying that even if she doesn't want him to do so, is it ok now anyway, because he communicated his intentions - and only LYING about fucking is cheating? And Lucky...you bragged about your moresum relationship quote: I am a whore. I am an active slut. I have long term relationships with three people right now, all of whom know eachother. In fact, I'm in the process of moving to live with TWO of my partners together, where I will be fucking both of them quite regularly. I also fuck other people randomly at events and on dates for pure pleasure. Nothing justifies lying to your partner and breaking a commitment. You want to fuck who you want to fuck, go for it. But don't lie to the other person. My partners know exactly who I am, that I will fuck someone if I feel like it. We have a solid relationship. what if suddenly one of them decides that you shouldn't fuck someone? Should he tell you, or because he knows 'exactly who you (are), that (you) will fuck someone if (you) feel like it' should he just keep quiet? And if he voices his concern...who wins...you or him? And why shouldn't the OP's guy have the same ability to fuck who he wants? What is so wrong with having a fling and then going back - is he now Beelzebub incarnate, minion of hell who only sucks her life dry because he put his dick in someone else, or is he just her boyfriend who is basically the same guy as the day before who got a little strange - which shouldn't be a life altering catastrophe laden event? (I vote for scene #2) Every situation has so many angles, so many nuances of relationship history, personal backgrounds, and power struggles that NO advice we can give to someone asking this question is going to be sound advice and all the caveats we have to include would almost sound like an ad on TV after pitching medicine: this advice may cause diarrhea, nausea, abdominal pain, dizziness or headache (if she clips you with the rolling pin after she finds out you fucked her rival after she told you "no"). I'd like to point out that so far, no one had mentioned the fact that I brought up: What if he gets the offer, and says, 'NO'? Is he an 'almost-cheater' to be shunned forever for letting her into his bedroom without a chaperone? You guys are spitting nails on this still-yet-to-be-committed-adultery and this transgression should be treated like jaywalking - yeah, it's against the law but everyone does it and it shouldn't be the death sentence to the relationship.

feastie -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 7:38:38 PM)
For my money, if you fuck someone who has a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband or some other form of significant other, and that person has no idea or has not agreed, then you are not behaving with integrity. Until the boy grows a couple and breaks up with the girl if he's not happy with her anymore, then you got no business going there, OP.

brightspot -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 7:44:09 PM)
I personally would have nipped the thoughts and fantasies in the bud, way before.... we just happened to be rolling around in the bed. I have always made it an ethical choice to never be intimate with a friend of an Ex or an Ex of a friend. Especially if the person in question is with another. I look at it as a very selfish act. To many roads to pain and irreparable damage. *Brightspot

Sensualips -> RE: I found myself in an interesting dilemma (5/24/2006 8:03:24 PM)
quote: Sensualips, i believe the thread you are referring to is "Married Men as Doms" or words to that effect. I was referring in general to dozens of similar threads in various forums over the last six month. No one thread or one person in particular. quote: This from a woman who admits to and promotes anonymous sex with strangers? We all realize Tross is a slut. But she is a happy and fulfilled slut with loving and stable partners and a relatively drama free existance. I hate that bitch. :)

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