RE: Married to a meth head

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kuppykake -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 10:54:04 AM)
um so she was okay with a drunk but not a meth head? they are both serious addictions that can affect the lives of those around the addict. She had no idea? Someone should bop her on the head for being silly....and someone needs to bop her husband on the head for being insanely stupid! Or maybe she is embarrassed by her husband's actions and is playing dumb so that she doesn't look even more silly for staying with an addict and doing nothing about it for that period of time. .

Icarys -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:00:28 AM)
quote: Married to a meth head Is she cute? I'm married to a crack whore.. We would have so much to talk about.. How about fixing us up for dinner and a movie?

pahunkboy -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:01:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy What a bunch of BS! Meth heads stay awake for days on end... then they crash for sleep. They can stay up for over a week. How can you be married and not notice that? Booze is different. She is either lying or incredible dumb. (sorry) Have you considered that she might have thought he's an alcoholic (though why that didn't bother her is beyond me) and they possibly didn't even share the same bedroom and that he might not have started out to be an addict but in the beginning possibly used it only a few times, she got used to him having an erratic schedule and things just happened... If someone is up all night- in the house- I would hear it. Even if it is across the house. A drunk has a different behavior then a meth head. A meth head is easy to pick up on. Something does not sound right with the OP.

pahunkboy -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:02:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kuppykake um so she was okay with a drunk but not a meth head? they are both serious addictions that can affect the lives of those around the addict. She had no idea? Someone should bop her on the head for being silly....and someone needs to bop her husband on the head for being insanely stupid! Or maybe she is embarrassed by her husband's actions and is playing dumb so that she doesn't look even more silly for staying with an addict and doing nothing about it for that period of time. . Agreed.

Iamsemisweet -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:19:52 AM)
I think her ex husband was really functional for a long time, until he wasn't. As I understand it, that is how addictions work. Part of my problem in dealing with this woman, who I really like and feel bad for, is that she is really stuck in her innocent victim role. If I were one of the people she confronted, I might be tempted to respond that she was married to the guy, why didn't SHE warn THEM. For whatever reason, she was OK with him being an alcoholic. Apparently he want to 12 step meetings, lots of their friends and colleagues were also alcoholics, so I think she saw him as trying to recover. I imagine the difference in her mind also was that alcohol is legal, meth is not, and meth would be more likely to lead to arrest and disbarment. Personally, I think she turned a blind eye because she didn't want to lose her lifestyle. She did anyway. No wonder she is bitter, but she has to stop her destructive behavior now. It is too late to change her marriage, she needs to protect what she has left.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:20:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy If someone is up all night- in the house- I would hear it. Even if it is across the house. A drunk has a different behavior then a meth head. A meth head is easy to pick up on. Something does not sound right with the OP. Yes, but since she possibly never had contact with anybody taking meth and isn't an expert on addictions, it was possibly all just strange behaviour to her, the guy was functionable enough to work as a lawyer, and we tend to have the ability to ignore what we don't want to see, or else why would so many women end up with abusive husbands or spouses? Because you'd wake up if somebody is in another part of the house doesn't mean everybody would, I can sleep through other half and his friends jamming in another part of the house, the walls are sound proofed and if I'm tired I go to bed. I hope I would notice if somebody I've been living with had an addiction problem, and I wouldn't be happy if it was "just" alcoholism, that's the point that throws me, the fact that she seemed to be able to accept one serious addiction...

LadyConstanze -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:27:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet I think her ex husband was really functional for a long time, until he wasn't. As I understand it, that is how addictions work. Part of my problem in dealing with this woman, who I really like and feel bad for, is that she is really stuck in her innocent victim role. If I were one of the people she confronted, I might be tempted to respond that she was married to the guy, why didn't SHE warn THEM. For whatever reason, she was OK with him being an alcoholic. Apparently he want to 12 step meetings, lots of their friends and colleagues were also alcoholics, so I think she saw him as trying to recover. I imagine the difference in her mind also was that alcohol is legal, meth is not, and meth would be more likely to lead to arrest and disbarment. Personally, I think she turned a blind eye because she didn't want to lose her lifestyle. She did anyway. No wonder she is bitter, but she has to stop her destructive behavior now. It is too late to change her marriage, she needs to protect what she has left. I can understand it, because basically she's not the one who had the addiction and the biggest problem most alcoholics have is that people don't see it as serious until they can't function anymore or get violent, I'm pretty sure a lot of "happy drunks" are alcoholics and for a guy it seems to be socially more acceptable for a guy to "hold his booze", almost like it's a sign of being manly. If it's in a group where it's pretty normal, it might even be easier, but still, nobody can be so naive and to pretend an addiction is not dangerous. In a way she is a victim because she lost her retirement and her worldly possessions, but on the other hand, she's a freaking lawyer, that's a bit like an obese chain smoking doctor telling you to live healthy, and she decided to not see what was in front of her. The anger I can understand, it's just her lashing out at others and blaming them that is irrational, but most likely that is a knee jerk reaction.

needlesandpins -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:34:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy What a bunch of BS! Meth heads stay awake for days on end... then they crash for sleep. They can stay up for over a week. How can you be married and not notice that? Booze is different. She is either lying or incredible dumb. (sorry) Have you considered that she might have thought he's an alcoholic (though why that didn't bother her is beyond me) and they possibly didn't even share the same bedroom and that he might not have started out to be an addict but in the beginning possibly used it only a few times, she got used to him having an erratic schedule and things just happened... If someone is up all night- in the house- I would hear it. Even if it is across the house. A drunk has a different behavior then a meth head. A meth head is easy to pick up on. Something does not sound right with the OP. i don't sleep a great deal, very little in fact. however, if the person i'm with didn't know that i think it would be rather easy to fool them into thinking i sleep quite well. i'm also very quiet and spent years creeping around the house when my dad worked nights. i think that alot of the symptoms of sleep deprivation are similar to those of an addict like the aches and itches. i suffer alot of other ailments that are just down to being tired, but i guess alot of it could be mistaken for something else if a person was thinking that way out. i don't have the physical appearance of an addict though, but the rest could still make someone wonder. i have no experience of meth at all but did lose a very loved friend to drugs related heart weakening. strangely he had given up the drugs he was doing and started working out at the gym. he was taking something that was supposed to help his workouts be more effective but i can't remember what it was. the combination of the two killed him. however, when he was taking the drugs i doubt that anyone who hadn't been told would have known. he was very high functioning. with something as bad as meth though i would have thought the wife would twig at some point in the ten years. i agree with others that she is just lashing out because it's better than taking the blame for it herself. she'd seriously have to be really stupid to let him keep control of the money situation with any sort of addiction though. it's the first thing i'd do to take back at least control of my own things. needles

pahunkboy -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 11:57:13 AM)
Being that meth is a very destructive drug- the effects would be noticeable sooner then 10 years. One simply can not go with out sleep for endless months with out some sort of payment. The body will show this. Even in the healthiest person. Drug addiction hits all walks of life- what one does with it- is up to the person. /my 2 cents.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:04:38 PM)
I think you will find that meth users possibly don't go without sleep for months. A few sleepless nights will cause the person to start experiencing radical personality and psychological changes. The longest recorded time anyone has ever gone without sleep is 264 hours, that's 11 days, most people can't make it that long even with drugs, you can survive longer without food and just with water than you can survive without sleep. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1690

pahunkboy -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:14:22 PM)
^ I mean days at a time, that they do not sleep. Not a continuous month. Sorry if I mis-posted.

RapierFugue -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:20:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy Being that meth is a very destructive drug- the effects would be noticeable sooner then 10 years. One simply can not go with out sleep for endless months with out some sort of payment. The body will show this. Even in the healthiest person. Sometimes, sometimes not. The mistake you're making is in thinking that all addicts are addicted to precisely the same stuff, and react the same way. They aren't and they don't. They may ingest it differently (smoking is different to snorting is different to injecting, etc) and in different purity levels. Human beings are analogue constructs; which is to say what kills one may not kill another, or what kills one in 24 months may not kill another in 10 years. Or even show. For example, one of the first uses of Methamphetamine, staggeringly, was in WWII, as a strong stimulant issued to long-watch/flight crews in the Air Force and Navy, and its use was extended rapidly to all ranks, in parts of all service duties. As a pick-me-up. FFS. So do you think all those guys came home gibbering? Of course not, even though many of them took it over the course of several years. quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy /my 2 cents. I commend you on your valuation.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:33:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue For example, one of the first uses of Methamphetamine, staggeringly, was in WWII, as a strong stimulant issued to long-watch/flight crews in the Air Force and Navy, and its use was extended rapidly to all ranks, in parts of all service duties. As a pick-me-up. FFS. So do you think all those guys came home gibbering? Of course not, even though many of them took it over the course of several years. I would suspect that this was much purer and less cut than anything you buy on the streets, oddly enough often it's not the drug that is so disastrous to the health but what it's cut with and I can't imagine that the military used to stretch it with rat poison and other "goodies". Keith Richards has a lot of chapters donated to drugs in his book (there's a surprise) and he said the reason why he's still alive is that he always bought the best quality he could afford, and something about when heroin was available on prescription and that it was the best and purest stuff he ever had, that people who were taking it were able to function normally. Apart from the tolerance the individual has and their affinity to be addicted or how strongly they are addicted, I would think that the quality of the drug matters a great deal when it comes to side effects. From my understanding there are also several different types of speed (amphetamines) on the market and meth is just one of them, a user with an addiction problem might not be too fussy what they take and the different types might have different effects on each user and their health.

needlesandpins -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:34:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze I think you will find that meth users possibly don't go without sleep for months. A few sleepless nights will cause the person to start experiencing radical personality and psychological changes. The longest recorded time anyone has ever gone without sleep is 264 hours, that's 11 days, most people can't make it that long even with drugs, you can survive longer without food and just with water than you can survive without sleep. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1690 10 nights, 11 days is my record and it was bloody awful. mostly a can go days on end with a couple of hours in that space where you can still hear stuff but don't know what's being said. needles

pahunkboy -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:36:07 PM)
meth is a dirty drug. batteries and draino- filthy - really.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 12:41:01 PM)
Never tried it and no desire to try it, tried amphetamines as a student, kept me awake but I found I couldn't study or function very well, for a while it was available in the US without a prescription, as weight loss pills, little yellow tabs...

pahunkboy -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 1:00:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Never tried it and no desire to try it, tried amphetamines as a student, kept me awake but I found I couldn't study or function very well, for a while it was available in the US without a prescription, as weight loss pills, little yellow tabs... They are sim yet- 2 different ball games. ADD pills are amphetamine. Meth can be cooked up in a bath tub.... and all the ingredients are in your house to do it. Recipees and methods can be found online. The cooked stuff is nothing like the pharmaceutical pills that get Rxed. True that there can be abuse of those- but the grip of the drug is not as intense as meth. MANY have had pills diet- ADD that are "speed". When rx is used as prescribed it is no problem. This med has been around for many years- I would trust it more then the new meds. If you took a hand full of amphetamines- it would be jumpy- and so forth- it can not be compared the the meth that the addicts use.

RapierFugue -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 1:01:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze I would suspect that this was much purer and less cut than anything you buy on the streets, oddly enough often it's not the drug that is so disastrous to the health but what it's cut with and I can't imagine that the military used to stretch it with rat poison and other "goodies". Or, as I said, in the very post you replied to: "The mistake you're making is in thinking that all addicts are addicted to precisely the same stuff, and react the same way. They aren't and they don't. They may ingest it differently (smoking is different to snorting is different to injecting, etc) and in different purity levels" [8\|]

LadyConstanze -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 1:02:32 PM)
They actually did outlaw the pills as they were not very good for the health

ladyneedshelp -> RE: Married to a meth head (7/27/2011 1:04:14 PM)
I never had any dealings with drug users (cept in my 20's and that was mostely pot and a little experimenting ) then I moved in with my sister.....my mom had just died and I had taken care her in her home for her last 6 months....so I was slightly depressed and withdrawn. I never noticed that my sis did not sleep, I just assumed she went to bed some time after I did....but then within the year I started comming out of the funk and I started noticing her behavior, her sleep patterns.....ect. there were times she was extremely rude or confronting.....and the mood swings often occurred after long periods of sleepless nights and restlessness.... And she often did not have quite enough to cover her half of the bills....I will add to this she had a nervous break down justbefore we moved intogether. And she is bipolar!!!!...so for a long time I put her behavior off on the new meds....it wasn't till she stayed up for a week straight with our other roommates daughter who was staying with us temporally.....who I knew had a meth problem.... A solid week! Geeeeess..... She said she was going to the Dr. cos she was in pain....I told her if she got off that shit and let her body rest she would probably feel better....my god I thought the roof was going to cave in she hit it so hard! With the help of my roommate who did not want to say anything because she did not want to come between sisters I realized all the signs I had been ignoring in my grief....(i also. Checked my bank acount that had been severly depleted) ass well live and learn! We no longer talk because I was mean and refused to live with/support her. Why well.... She never exibited signs like bad teeth or skin....she never smoked it she snorted it......(does that make a diffrence?) Her daughter moved in with me a couple years ago....we talked about her irratic behavior....I would hazzard a guess she is still doing it 10 yrs. Later.....she still does not look it most days...but when she goes on a week binge she obivously does not take care of personal upkeep quite so closely... I refused for a year to look....I chose not to question.....I chose to ignore all the little things for sake of harmony....had I not been griveing I don't think I would have done so for as long...as to that lady....... to not have seen it could only mean she chose to ignore it!

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