Spanking (Full Version)

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MasterViper11 -> Spanking (7/29/2011 6:11:05 AM)

There are different types of Masters...
Some, that condone spanking once in a while.
Some that never spank.
And some, simply spank their sub/slave for no given reason. (Just because it is a 'Dom' thing to do')

I would like to, in my opinion, sum up all the valid reasons spanking should be carried out;

Firstly;
Punishment. This is when the spanking is carried out harshly, aggressively, and is persistent. It must not; be soft, teasing or erotic in any way! As this will give them the wrong idea, and help nothing. Depending on how much your sub/slave has angered you, toys such as paddles can be used to aid the pain.

Discipline. As I have noticed many, will get confused between Punishment and Discipline.
Punishment is to make the sub/slave aware that they have done something you do not like, where as Discipline, prevents this behavior.
I have experienced other Masters, who did not carry out this ritual of a scheduled spank. Their sub/slave lost sight of their Master having complete control over them, and therefore, through no fault of their own, became slightly Dominant; decided they needed a more Dominating Master, and either left them or became a Switch.
Which is why it is important to stay consistent. For example; Giving your sub/slave a spanking session every night before bed,
Or maybe every morning before leaving for work.
This way, it becomes a routine (preferably daily)and not only reassures her You are in charge, but more importantly, further strengthens your relationship.

Before Sex Sex will get anyone excited. In fact; so excited, that sometimes a sub/slave will forget they are actually a sub/slave, and will advance to take control.
In order to prevent this behavior, a firm spank, right before sex, reminds them that you are in charge, and not to assume otherwise. (Does not apply to Switches)

For fun
The key to any successful relationship (BDSM or not) is the bond. And creating that bond, relies on much more than just sex.
It has to be fun. However, when I say fun, keeping in mind, that the 'fun' may not, in any way, put your sub/slave in control, or you under hers. Even if it is just for a good laugh. As it is very possible for her to enjoy the feeling of being Dominant, and then she may Switch.
Which is why soft spanking is ideal to create that bond.
As you are still in control, and she is still under your command; but no harm is being done, and allows for a relaxed atmosphere.

I'd also like to add, that I did state this was purely My opinion. I do not intend for this forum to be a guideline of some sort.
If you feel what I said is wrong, then feel free to express it.

[image]local://upfiles/1252339/DA825E5DFACA4011AF9E31052FB5AE42.jpg[/image]



Aileen1968 -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 6:33:01 AM)

It seems as if most of your reasons for spanking is to make sure that your sub doesn't decide to spur of the moment switch on you and top you.
Guess what...if that's your experience then maybe you suck as a dominant.

He doesn't have to do a single physical thing to me in order for me to be submissive to him.



MasterViper11 -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 6:41:37 AM)

Fair enough. But not all submissives, especially new ones, work that way.



DarkSteven -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 6:56:07 AM)

There are different kinds of Masters.  Indeed.  But spanking is a minor part of being a Master, if it is a part (with some, it isn't).

I will do it if either I think that my sub needs one (by her just not feeling content), or if I want to give her one.  Which actually applies to a lot of things, not just spanking.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:02:28 AM)

The day I have to do something physical to inspire submission or express dominance is




the day I give this up.



coookie -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:16:07 AM)

Not everyone has a punishment dynamic but d/s is still apparent.
Not everyone needs a spanking to remind them that they are submissive. That is like saying that i must cap all dominant's pronouns so that i do not forget my place.
Some men like sexually aggressive girls. Or if they don't like it they can always just communicate that.
Fun spankings always hurt my ass plenty. Still fun for both of us and nurtures our relationship.



leadership527 -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:16:40 AM)

I personally am with Lady Hibiscus on this although obviously a lot of other people are big into things like "maintenance spankings" and punishment and the like and they also have fine, healthy, nurturing relationships -- or at least those who are my friends do.

As MasterViper noted, not all "submissives work that way". Not whatever Aileen said and not how it's written in the original post either. Carol, for instance, doesn't need to be reminded who's in charge and doesn't try to take control. Carol never forgets "her place" because it is actually "her place". The only thing required to get her into it is getting out of the way. She gravitates there all by herself because it is her natural state.

And, in general, I'm always very amused when someone tries to tell me "the valid reasons" i can or cannot do something. If I was that into obeying random strangers I'd be a sub.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:23:59 AM)

Physical contact absolutely helps cement relationships, and heaven knows I love go play, touch, growl, all of that. It's not what makes someone serve me.

Jeff, I am laughing at the "obey random strangers" line! Thanks for the gigglesnort!



poise -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:26:30 AM)

I am happy to know you have this all figured out for your relationship, however,
since you invited anyone who disagrees to respond, I would like to do so.
He can be 10,000 miles away from my ass and I can still feel his control.
Dominance doesn't require any physical interaction at all.



leadership527 -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:29:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Jeff, I am laughing at the "obey random strangers" line! Thanks for the gigglesnort!

LOL - you're welcome. This is exactly why I've reverted to the husband/wife labels. They come with way fewer rules attached. It is so liberating to be vanilla *laughs*



DesFIP -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:31:32 AM)

If you have a problem with your partner finding you sexually attractive and showing you that, then you really need to work on your issues.

Thank God he isn't that insecure.



coookie -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:44:22 AM)

You seem to have this theory that submissive women are just waiting for the opportunity to take control. I submit by choice. If i were tearing at the seams to be dominant, i would. I do not think that your theory of suppression would be effective because stifling a desire tends to make it grow and resentment toward the dominant would grow along side it. You may want to choose women who know what they want if you have this happen to you frequently.



myotherself -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 7:49:34 AM)

Spanking tickles - it makes me giggle helplessly.

Does that mean I'm fake? [8|]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 8:28:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Spanking tickles - it makes me giggle helplessly.

Does that mean I'm fake? [8|]



It means you are a SuperFunBunny!!![:D]



DarkSteven -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 9:11:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Spanking tickles - it makes me giggle helplessly.

Does that mean I'm fake? [8|]


Not at all.. my assessment of your fakeness is based on different criteria altogether.



coookie -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 9:16:49 AM)

pizza vs pancakes?



LadyPact -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 9:36:09 AM)

For what it's worth, I have to wonder a bit about a post like this that has multiple references to not being in control, subs attempting to take control, and a few other phrases that allude to struggling for control.  I know that works for some people and it's the kind of dynamic that they want, but personally, I wouldn't put up with it.  Unless someone specifically wants that kind of power struggle, I just don't see wrestling for control constantly to be My idea of a smooth dynamic.

I'm all for spanking.  It's fun and all those other uses that are listed above.  Somehow, it just comes across to Me as reactionary, rather than proactive.  I don't even have an issue with what the OP labels "Discipline" which I would have called maintenance spankings *if* the Dominant accepts that as part of the dynamic when they enter into that with a particular submissive.  Some of the rest sounds like this is the method one *has* to use for control.  If I need to rely on spanking, rather than a word or a look, I might not really be the one in control to begin with.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 9:38:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I personally am with Lady Hibiscus on this although obviously a lot of other people are big into things like "maintenance spankings" and punishment and the like and they also have fine, healthy, nurturing relationships -- or at least those who are my friends do.
]As MasterViper noted, not all "submissives work that way". Not whatever Aileen said and not how it's written in the original post either. Carol, for instance, doesn't need to be reminded who's in charge and doesn't try to take control. Carol never forgets "her place" because it is actually "her place". The only thing required to get her into it is getting out of the way. She gravitates there all by herself because it is her natural state.

And, in general, I'm always very amused when someone tries to tell me "the valid reasons" i can or cannot do something. If I was that into obeying random strangers I'd be a sub.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus


The day I have to do something physical to inspire submission or express dominance is

the day I give this up.



I actually said the same exact thing as LH did. You agree with her and not me? Interesting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
He doesn't have to do a single physical thing to me in order for me to be submissive to him.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 9:41:34 AM)

I agree with you, Aileen!!



angelikaJ -> RE: Spanking (7/29/2011 9:50:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterViper11

There are different types of Masters...
Some, that condone spanking once in a while.
Some that never spank.
And some, simply spank their sub/slave for no given reason. (Just because it is a 'Dom' thing to do')

I would like to, in my opinion, sum up all the valid reasons spanking should be carried out;

Firstly;
Punishment. This is when the spanking is carried out harshly, aggressively, and is persistent. It must not; be soft, teasing or erotic in any way! As this will give them the wrong idea, and help nothing. Depending on how much your sub/slave has angered you, toys such as paddles can be used to aid the pain.

Discipline. As I have noticed many, will get confused between Punishment and Discipline.
Punishment is to make the sub/slave aware that they have done something you do not like, where as Discipline, prevents this behavior.
I have experienced other Masters, who did not carry out this ritual of a scheduled spank. Their sub/slave lost sight of their Master having complete control over them, and therefore, through no fault of their own, became slightly Dominant; decided they needed a more Dominating Master, and either left them or became a Switch.
Which is why it is important to stay consistent. For example; Giving your sub/slave a spanking session every night before bed,
Or maybe every morning before leaving for work.
This way, it becomes a routine (preferably daily)and not only reassures her You are in charge, but more importantly, further strengthens your relationship.

Before Sex Sex will get anyone excited. In fact; so excited, that sometimes a sub/slave will forget they are actually a sub/slave, and will advance to take control.
In order to prevent this behavior, a firm spank, right before sex, reminds them that you are in charge, and not to assume otherwise. (Does not apply to Switches)

For fun
The key to any successful relationship (BDSM or not) is the bond. And creating that bond, relies on much more than just sex.
It has to be fun. However, when I say fun, keeping in mind, that the 'fun' may not, in any way, put your sub/slave in control, or you under hers. Even if it is just for a good laugh. As it is very possible for her to enjoy the feeling of being Dominant, and then she may Switch.
Which is why soft spanking is ideal to create that bond.
As you are still in control, and she is still under your command; but no harm is being done, and allows for a relaxed atmosphere.

I'd also like to add, that I did state this was purely My opinion. I do not intend for this forum to be a guideline of some sort.
If you feel what I said is wrong, then feel free to express it.

[image]local://upfiles/1252339/DA825E5DFACA4011AF9E31052FB5AE42.jpg[/image]


Ok, I have been spanked for both pleasure (often) and for punishment (rarely) and for other reasons as He thinks appropriate.

But spanking for punishment is never done in anger. He may be angry but he will take time to think and cool down and often several days pass.

Spanking before sex so I don't try to take control?
That seems silly to me and honestly is not something I understand.
There is often some kind of 'play' involved with sex and so the fun kind of spanking may be a part of that.

But He is always in control and if He never spanked me again, while I would miss it (as I love the way He spanks me) I wouldn't suddenly become a switch or try to top him. 

I understand that you were not trying to do a one twue way thread and were sharing your experience.



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