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aleshaDreams -> RE: HAPPY DOM (5/26/2006 1:11:51 AM)
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I didn't read all the responses, so forgive me if i overwrite an idea here.
In my opinion, a collar fixes nothing, it is a symbol that is all - a symbol of ownership, protection, devotion etc. (how each define it). A submissive heart will always lead the way and define ownership. But back on point, with a diversion let us not forget the dominants out there that suggest to change things that do not need fixing. For example, I tell a dominant that if I am to join them there are some specific things I require continuation on and unless he accepts my needs, then we have some issues, such as regular attendance to the gym that is my time; next thing I am confronted with is I am being told he will develop my fitness routine/workout, am being told he will pick out my gym clothes, tell me when it is appropriate to go to the gym although I already have set times, how I have to start teasing boys at the gym that I usually ignore, blah blah.
Dominants are not fixes for problems but they certainly can help us overcome obstacles, and enhance areas of our lives that are troublesome and v.s. After all regardless of anything a D/s relationship is still a partnership in all respects. A large part of relationships is to open ones self to another, share your life through the good, bad and downright ugly times. Perhaps I am wrong and this does not apply to the D/s lifestyle, but I really did think it was about growth of the individuals coming together as one unit, or household. I ask you, is it possible to take ownership and not be fixing problems as they come up? If you have a cherished antique car, and the tire goes flat, do you continue to drive with the flat or do you fix the tire. Or even so, perhaps there is a similar vehicle available for purchase, you have inspected it and the majority of the car is in prime condition except for 1 flat tire, this is a cats meow of a workmanship except for that damn tire. Do you walk away, or do you find a fix for the tire, to make it shine 100% and continue to care for its condition while it is your possession?
PS. Sorry if I downplay the importance of the collar here, I really think that the essence of the relationship needs less emphasis on the material aspects and more on the substance. Collars can take years to aquire, or not, and I don't believe they prove a persons devotion any deeper than the actions one does in a day to maintain their dominant/masters desire; I see them more as confirmation of commitment. Enough said, this is probably a topic already seeded 10x over.
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