RE: Fetlife refugees (Full Version)

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LaTigresse -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 8:08:27 AM)

I tried Fet several times and still have an account there. However I log on very infrequently.

I can see the advantages of local events, etc........if I was into that sort of thing. I just haven't the time to get involved in one more thing that wants some of my non-existent free time. If they want to pay me to do a photo shoot, fine......otherwise no.

I agree that it is extremely cumbersome and disgustingly time consuming to find your way around and I do hate the white on black.

That all being said...........IF Hannah created her own thing, and let DG in, and me to watch.......I would be delighted. I love watching her make him blow a gasket! I know I've said this before but Hannah consistently reminds me of one of my favourite people in the whole world. One of the few people I trust completely and just love to pieces. Both of them I occasionally want to throttle/spank/kick in the ass.......but that's all part of their unique 'charm'.[:D]



Hillwilliam -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 8:10:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I DO like the 'more pictures' feature...

yes, that is one thing i like too, you can post hundreds of pics...

but... there could be a downside to that too...

..its a good thing most guys dont take full advantage of that over there.. they could you know.. here is a pic of my cock,.. pic of cock gone fishing,.. pic of cock jerking off in public washroom,.. pic of cock on the subway.. pic of cock skiing.. pic of cock.. pic of cock,.. pic of cock.. well,.. you know.. [:D]

It might be time to email poise and let her work her magic with My profile pic.



windchymes -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 8:26:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I went to Florida a couple of times and it was ok when I was there.


Musta been, they're still talking about it! [:D]



kalikshama -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 8:36:07 AM)

quote:

While that's technically true if you think of the sites as standalone, I've found that using Fet in conjunction with RL folks works well.  As an example, I met a young lady at a munch a year ago.  She was attractive, fun to be around, intelligent - everything I wanted.  I got her Fet name, which is much easier than asking for a phone number.  When I checked out her Fet profile, I saw that she was heavily into needle and blood play, which are hard limits of mine, and suspension bondage, which I am not skilled enough for.


Along these lines, I've lately been asking men if they have a profile on a vanilla site. IME, the profiles of men here (general CM, not CC posters) tend to be mostly kink based. Since I'm looking for a relationship, I want to see a well rounded portrait of a potential.

I have just met someone from OKCupid who is active on Fet, so I expect I'll be spending a little more time there (HATE the white on black), checking out the links for local events that he sends me.

We were going to go to a munch last night but I twisted his arm and got him to stay home and practice S&M, rather than just talk about it ;) We are going to a NELA event later this month.



DesFIP -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 9:24:10 AM)

I hate the white on black. Sunny, I love you but you are one unique snowflake if you think that's easier to read.

The mod rules change from group to group so much that I've given up on groups I enjoyed because I couldn't ever remember what was legal to say in one and not another. Especially strange with two groups started by the same owner, discuss the exact same topics but the rules are totally different.

The need for eyebleach. Nobody should have a picture of their dangly bits tied up and bluish in color as a profile pic. Never, ever, ever.

Plus side: Cooking groups. One with several professional chefs who will explain things at length repeatedly if you're having trouble grasping it. The explanation of why you need to use bread flour for chocolate chip banana bread by itself merits the site's existence.



SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 9:25:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i dislike the built in censorship. people can kick out posters who they disagree with, it's basically a fucking joke.


On the other side of this, I can kick out people I know to be trolls because I've seen their performance in other groups.  I don't have to wait until they do something against the rules of the site, report it, and hope it gets taken care of before they derail every thread in my group.  I can also create more rules for my groups beyond those the site has created.  If someone violates MY rules, they're out, regardless of whether or not they've broken the site's rules. 
 
That said, I'm pretty laid-back in my moderation style.  Things that get pulled here often don't in my groups.  To some extent, the opposite is also true. 
 
In addition to all th other pluses already mentioned, I also enjoy the fact that I can find highly specialized niche groups for the discussion of just one topic that may or may not have anything to do with BDSM.  For example, I run two writing groups and I belong to several others. 
 
However, the color scheme sucks, and the search feature is a joke.  I have to either search for people in Kansas City or in all of Missouri and Kansas.  I can't search within a radius of KC, so people who live in the suburbs won't show up in a search.  I also can't filter my search in any way, whether it's age, gender or relationship status.  All those orientation and relationship status options are nice, but ultimately they're useless if I can't filter a search with them.



flcouple2009 -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 9:55:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i'm pretty fucking sure i'd be bounced from most of the groups on there [:D]


Ya think?



littlewonder -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 9:57:26 AM)

I've been bounced from fetlife groups because I just followed the threads and didn't actually start any or respond to any. I guess they felt that I was just there to gawk <shrug>. It's not hard to get bounced from groups on fetlife.




windchymes -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 10:04:05 AM)

Some people just become crazed when you give them power. I've seen it happen many times over the years in self-owned & operated chat rooms and discussion groups and forums, etc., it's very common. They can't get promoted at work and the wife or hubby treats them like dirt, but by god, I'll show you who's in charge here, I'll kick you out of this chatroom! You are BANNED!!! lol

It's a big yawn, really, and not worth the time of day.



GreedyTop -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 10:39:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I went to Florida a couple of times and it was ok when I was there.



and ya never called me *sigh*



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 12:07:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

... as an aside - I may be the only person who prefers the black with white lettering.  I find it soothing for my eyes.  :)  - the better to see you with, my dears!



Of course you do---AND I DO TOO!! I have no idea what aspect of my wonky vision prefers light text on a dark background, but it does.

There is much to despise about Fet. The way the site allows hatemongering, transphobia, racism, etc, but backs up whiny babies... the whimsical ways of the carebears...but don't get me started.

I used to use the place to keep up with local stuff, but now that I have turned my back on that, I am having a great time with the new crew that I have met. There is some amazing, head-exploding discussion going on over there on a world of topics. It can be very worthwhile, and certainly educational. We can generally speak freely. GENERALLY. But since the moderation is not anonymous, it's easy enough to get a feel for a group and move on if it's not a fit.

Hannah, go friend me over there. You will have fun with my posse.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 1:23:39 PM)

I love fetlife, but I do not like how you have to be a member to post in a group, or follow a thread. That can be good in some ways, but sometimes I just want to lurk and follow a thread, and not have every one and their momma know I am lurking in the group, as it'll show me a member of said group.


There needs to be more privacy options, like writing set to friends only, and groups set to friends only or stuff. Overall, like I said love it.



tj444 -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 3:31:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I love fetlife, but I do not like how you have to be a member to post in a group, or follow a thread. That can be good in some ways, but sometimes I just want to lurk and follow a thread, and not have every one and their momma know I am lurking in the group, as it'll show me a member of said group.


There needs to be more privacy options, like writing set to friends only, and groups set to friends only or stuff. Overall, like I said love it.

hmmm, i dont see being members of various groups as anything more than telling people what you are into, just like the Fetishes list of stuff at the bottom of the page... jmo




erieangel -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 6:53:37 PM)

I joined fetlife about the same time I joined here. I like it here much better. Like others have said, FL is not user friendly and I've not been able to find much of anything. I do follow the groups for my local area because I'd like to go to munches and such, but I've found only one group that does munches and play parties and all the munches are in the evenings--I work second shift so I am unable to attend and the play parties are open only to people who attend munches. I can understand that, but it doesn't help me to meet local people.

I hate the black background, hard to read with my eyesight...I'm nearly 50 and have horrible vision.




pahunkboy -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/5/2011 7:19:22 PM)

^  I am also getting annoyed when web pages put a unmovable bottom bar on the page!!    



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/6/2011 2:41:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

However, the color scheme sucks, and the search feature is a joke.  I have to either search for people in Kansas City or in all of Missouri and Kansas.  I can't search within a radius of KC, so people who live in the suburbs won't show up in a search.  I also can't filter my search in any way, whether it's age, gender or relationship status.  All those orientation and relationship status options are nice, but ultimately they're useless if I can't filter a search with them.

That's a deliberate design feature - I heard Baku talking about it in some podcast interview. Because it's not just you wanting a/s/l search functions - it's also the same guys we get spammed by here. If people want to be found by city they can join city-related events/discussion/personals groups, and if not then they can remain hidden.

---

I think the difference between me and people who don't use fetlife because they don't like the discussion format is that I don't use it for discussion, I use it for its intended purpose - as a social network. Most of my real-life kinkster friends have profiles, and most of the time I am either talking to them or to people from here.

I like it for the sick, sick humour of Hibbie's posse of hooligan friends (and the sick, sick pictures they find), and the beautiful pictures you sometimes stumble across, and the journal feature, which is a thousand times better than CM's.

And DesFIP is right: that cookery group is AMAZING. Plus, FL introduced me to the concept of bacon jam; I will forever owe it a debt.

So basically it sucks as a discussion site, but as a kinky facebook it's pretty good, in my opinion.



Arpig -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/6/2011 9:03:17 AM)

quote:

a kinky facebook
I suspect that is why I don't like it. I don't like Facebook either...I never log in there either.



erieangel -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/6/2011 3:22:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

a kinky facebook
I suspect that is why I don't like it. I don't like Facebook either...I never log in there either.



Ditto



lally2 -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/6/2011 4:12:16 PM)

i hated it the first time i went there - after CM it felt claustrophobic.  a year ago i tried again, mostly because i wanted to get in touch with my local folks and munches.

i like the fact that you can have a discussion without needing all the disclaimers you need or needed here on CM.  and it was getting a bit cliquey here and just way too bitchy at times.

but this feels like home in a way.  its more roomy and i like that there are the long standing regulars here.

in a way fetlife is too huge and so mixed and mixed up at times.  there is more freedom, ive found to get really loud about an opinion (you have to choose youre groups carefully for that)

but mostly it just makes you feel like youre sitting alone in a dark booth, theres no feel for who is on line, who is checking you out, reading youre posts or anything else.  so theres a detachment.

trouble with CM is that the discussions just arent varied enough and its too often the same old questions going around and around.



domiguy -> RE: Fetlife refugees (8/6/2011 4:17:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse



That all being said...........IF Hannah created her own thing, and let DG in, and me to watch.......I would be delighted. I love watching her make him blow a gasket! I know I've said this before but Hannah consistently reminds me of one of my favourite people in the whole world. One of the few people I trust completely and just love to pieces. Both of them I occasionally want to throttle/spank/kick in the ass.......but that's all part of their unique 'charm'.[:D]




I have never blown a gasket or a fuse, now there was the great Hobo incident of '04, but I say let sleeping dogs and lesbos lie.



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