RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life.

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/12/2011 11:32:37 PM

Emmasubgirl

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/11/2011
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yeah, i just wanted to say i agree with the person who talked about being submissive all the time. I am REALLY new at this, but i allow people at the shops to push in, try to be nice to people on the phone, just be as accomodating as possible. with my bf, who is not very dom, i try to do all the housework and shopping and stuff and i feel that he is getting use to the idea !!!

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/13/2011 12:48:05 AM

Aswad

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Joined: 4/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: atticus4

If so, how?

This guy at one former job would look to me for approval during meetings. I didn't have any authority over him or his work, nor was it my field of expertise. He just kept checking if I disapproved of anything, while being authoritarian with everyone else. He seemed to be pretty surprised or confused by it, too. Let's say the atmosphere was more familiar to me.

It can be as subtle as the sales clerk that's more concerned with pleasing the customers than with making the sale, or as obvious as the "deers in headlights" look that tells you she would be confused but compliant if you tell her to do something completely inappropriate. In all cases, it also depends on the person they are interacting with, and the context of the interaction.

You shouldn't force it, and it's probably not healthy to take it further than what feels natural. But if you want to develop it, pay attention to how different people make you feel, and what effects they have on your behavior. Then decide how far you want to take that behavior, and in what direction. Bottom line, there are power dynamics between people, but one generally doesn't apply a label to natural dynamics outside the context of wiitwd.

Health,
al-Aswad.

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"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/14/2011 9:47:50 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: atticus4

This isn't the easiest thing to explain, more so due to my limited knowledge but here goes;

Do you think(from a submissive view) it's at all possible to shall we say, 'self impose' upon oneself some kind of D/s activity? I mean, without someone instructing you to act a certain way, can one be submissive to others without their knowledge, just because they want to be?

If so, how?

I'm sure others can explain that much more succinctly!

Yes, of course. You can be as submissive as you fancy, or as driven to be.

Even as someone that isn't submissive I am sometimes in situations where I'm amongst very dominant guys and on their ground. Sometimes you have to know when you are licked. It doesn't seem wise to bite a tiger's arse and I'm also quite lazy with a modicum of sensible going on. It's usually in my interest to have them on my side :)

If you mean D/s as in sexy stuff, then I'm probably not going to be of any interest, comment wise.

agirl

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/14/2011 10:22:26 AM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: atticus4

This isn't the easiest thing to explain, more so due to my limited knowledge but here goes;

Do you think(from a submissive view) it's at all possible to shall we say, 'self impose' upon oneself some kind of D/s activity? I mean, without someone instructing you to act a certain way, can one be submissive to others without their knowledge, just because they want to be?

If so, how?

I'm sure others can explain that much more succinctly!

Yes. I'm submissive. I enjoy the act of submitting...of stepping aside, allowing for others, making the sacrifice, if you will, for another's benefit. It's why I find myself looking for it on an extreme level in my most intimate relationships. I don't announce my submission or the fact that I'm bending to someone else's will or well being. I just do it, and no one really knows anything. I don't even know it half the time. It just is.

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/14/2011 7:01:21 PM

sunshinemiss

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This whole thread reeks of understatement.

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/14/2011 10:49:55 PM

TheShrew

Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: atticus4
without someone instructing you to act a certain way, can one be submissive to others without their knowledge, just because they want to be?

Subs tend to get more attuned to the vibes of others and easily pick up on a dominant nature. {Same is true for dom/mes picking up on the sub nature} If, as a sub, you find yourself gravitating toward those with dominant personalities and performing actions and/or conducting yourself in a subservient/submissive manner "because" they are dominant, then I am inclined to say yes.

If anyone said "Would someone go get ____ " or "I need ____ done" and it is addressing more than one person, then you have an option. If you could decline without repercussion but carry out the requests to please the dom/me or sate a sub desire .. I do see that as being willingly compliant based on your submissive nature. They would know you carried out the act but only you would know the motivation behind it.

I like this topic, and I adore the responses thus far. Especially yours, Lockit.

< Message edited by TheShrew -- 8/14/2011 10:51:15 PM >

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RE: Elements of BDSM in daily life. - 8/15/2011 4:40:59 AM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterNeo1

Welcome to CM

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Two comments......if you are thinking of things a service submissive would do, yes, it is possible to do them without instruction. Or the other hand a lot of those things are simply good manners or good hospitality.

Next comment is about what I quoted, It reminds me of one my favorite DirtShirts;

"If A Man Rides His Bike Where His Wife Can't Hear Him, Is He Still Wrong"

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Post #: 27