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RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 1:10:26 PM

Wulfchyld

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Are you sure the teeth are a necessary part of that list? M

Ooooo.... better to take those beauties out it minimizes CBT during falatio.

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Post #: 41

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 1:56:16 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

I thought for sure that from a male sub perspective the three most important qualities in a Domme would be - has a pulse, can suck cock like a champ and still has all her own teeth

Yes, people, this is a joke! (for the humour impaired among us).

Actually, I'm really liking that "still has all of her own teeth" thing. Missing teeth kinda freak me out.

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RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 2:08:21 PM

ArchangelMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

I think that fairness is being viewed as caring in Cloudboy's definition. It would be *fair* if the dominant served the submissive for every time the submissive served the dominant. Seeing that the submissive is thriving in the environment where he is not not getting the 'fair' share of servitude or control, etc. is *caring*... not fairness.

Miss Lorelei,

I think that fairness and understanding are pretty much the same thing and that fairness/understanding in a D/s relationship is an effect of the caring. Being fair, to me, is that my Mistress wouldn't give me a serious punishment for something I either didn't do or something that was completely beyond my control. Now if You made me wear panties and a chastity device, something that would turn me on but then leave me unable to become erect, well, no that's not fair at all, but it's perfectly acceptable if that was something that pleased You. So fairness is really relative to the situation. Chastity in and of itself is not fair, but many submissives consent to that bit of unfairness. And with some guys and their sex drives, I think it is pretty fair.

Fair: I am going to "punish" you because I want to and because you are mine.

Unfair: The weatherman predicted the weather wrong and it rained when we were out. This is all your fault. I'm punishing you!

The diference here is context. I would rather take a punishment because You wanted me to, not because the weatherman made a boo-boo and You're frustrated.

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Post #: 43

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 2:16:55 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArchangelMichael

Fair: I am going to "punish" you because I want to and because you are mine.

Unfair: The weatherman predicted the weather wrong and it rained when we were out. This is all your fault. I'm punishing you!

The diference here is context. I would rather take a punishment because You wanted me to, not because the weatherman made a boo-boo and You're frustrated.

To me, it depends on whether it's punish or "punish" - In one case, the assumption is that you did something wrong, in the other, it's play punishment.

If you're actually being punished, it should not be on a whim, it should correspond to the infraction, and both parties should understand this is not play.

If you're being "punished," it's really just a beating for shits and giggles. Whether it be on a whim or based on the weatherman, you have no control, but are also not expected to change your ways, over it.

To me, both examples are the same - being beaten on the Domme's whim.

Neither is fair, and both are an unfairness which is agreed upon at the start.

Just my opinion.

Yours,

benji

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RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 3:20:24 PM

MistressLorelei

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ArchangelMichael

Miss Lorelei,

I think that fairness and understanding are pretty much the same thing and that fairness/understanding in a D/s relationship is an effect of the caring. Being fair, to me, is that my Mistress wouldn't give me a serious punishment for something I either didn't do or something that was completely beyond my control. Now if You made me wear panties and a chastity device, something that would turn me on but then leave me unable to become erect, well, no that's not fair at all, but it's perfectly acceptable if that was something that pleased You. So fairness is really relative to the situation. Chastity in and of itself is not fair, but many submissives consent to that bit of unfairness. And with some guys and their sex drives, I think it is pretty fair.

Fair: I am going to "punish" you because I want to and because you are mine.

Unfair: The weatherman predicted the weather wrong and it rained when we were out. This is all your fault. I'm punishing you!

The diference here is context. I would rather take a punishment because You wanted me to, not because the weatherman made a boo-boo and You're frustrated.

Fairness implies equality. D/s relationships are not equal or fair in a traditional sense of the term.

The context in your quote above equates to the same thing:

"I am punishing you because I want to and you are mine."

"I am punishing you because the weatherman screwed up, I had a bad day, and because I want to and you are mine". No fault required.

Also, to further define punish: If it's punishment required for wrong doing, I wouldn't be giving it because I want to because you're mine, I would be giving it because it was needed and would be disappointed to have to be doing it.

If it were a spanking just because... then any reason is a good one.
Perhaps common sense is the feature which would be most important in a Dominant.

< Message edited by MistressLorelei -- 5/20/2006 3:24:21 PM >

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Post #: 45

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 3:26:07 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

I wonder if Celeste sees any connection between "fairness" and ethics. Arguably each is a moral code.

I don't. Fair is fair.. ethics are ethics. One can be completely ethical and be unfair and one can be very fair and have no ethics at all.

Celeste

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Post #: 46

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 3:43:38 PM

juliaoceania

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I think that he meant fair as in "just", which is also a synonym for fair... look that the definition for just

2just

1 a : having a basis in or conforming to fact or reason : REASONABLE <a just but not a generous decision> b archaic : faithful to an original c : conforming to a standard of correctness : PROPER <just proportions>
2 a (1) : acting or being in conformity with what is morally upright or good : RIGHTEOUS <a just war> (2) : being what is merited : DESERVED <a just punishment> b : legally correct : LAWFUL <just title to an estate>
synonym see FAIR, UPRIGHT

I would like my dom to be fair in the way of being just...that is my opinion and others may see it differently

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Post #: 47

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 4:16:38 PM

slavejali

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3 most vital Domme qualities

1. Self Realisation and Actualisation
2. Ability to interact effectively within a relationship
3. A creative mind.

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Post #: 48

RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/20/2006 4:20:37 PM

Wulfchyld

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*grabs dictionary*

Yeah, what jali said.

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RE: The Three (3) Most Vital DOMME qualities - 5/21/2006 7:02:19 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
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From: New Orleans, LA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

Fairness implies equality. D/s relationships are not equal or fair in a traditional sense of the term.

The context in your quote above equates to the same thing:

"I am punishing you because I want to and you are mine."

"I am punishing you because the weatherman screwed up, I had a bad day, and because I want to and you are mine". No fault required.

Also, to further define punish: If it's punishment required for wrong doing, I wouldn't be giving it because I want to because you're mine, I would be giving it because it was needed and would be disappointed to have to be doing it.

If it were a spanking just because... then any reason is a good one.
Perhaps common sense is the feature which would be most important in a Dominant.

Miss Lorelei,

I agree with You about common sense. Common sense is also a very important feature for a Dominant. If I were owned, I would definitely submit to a beating just because my Mistress wanted to do it. And if she said it was because of the weatherman, but I knew she was doing it for her own pleasure, I'd be fine with that. I think there's something to be said about common sense in the submissive as well as wel as knowing your partner. My objection was to a real punishment based on an external factor. Perhaps a better example would be punishing me because I was late when the reason I was late was because I got into an accident that wasn't my fault. And even if it WAS my fault, I would expect my Mistress to be concerned about my well-being first and foremost. Then once the facts are settled, if she wanted to punish me for an accident that was my fault, that would be fair in my eyes. I think being fair is also about not expecting so much from your submissive that the have to be perfect in every way. But again, fair is relative. I believe there can be a level of fairness within a pre-arranged relationship where the power levels of the partners are unequal.

< Message edited by ArchangelMichael -- 5/21/2006 7:04:28 PM >

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