Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Should this section be split?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Should this section be split? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 1:12:54 PM   
paulmcuk


Posts: 80
Joined: 4/16/2011
Status: offline 		We have "Ask a Master" and "Ask a Mistress", but it seems to be assumed that male and female subs are essentially the same and don't need separate sections.

I disagree, but perhaps I'm a lone voice so I thought I'd canvas opinions.

When browsing this section I'll often see topics that sound interesting but when I read them they're couched in terms of Master/femsub. The replies tend, in my experience, to follow suit and as a result I feel it isn't for me. As someone who would never be sub to a male, I have zero interest in the "Ask a Master" section and really none in hearing about the flipside of those relationships either.

Frankly I'm a little tired of having to open and read lots of topics in search of one that has relevance to me, or to which I feel I can contribute. So much so that I usually just glance at a couple of topics in this section and then leave. I'd argue that male and female subs are as fundementally different as male and female dominants and that the section should be split accordingly.

Or is it just me? Am I being too closed-minded? Does everyone else feel that subs are subs regardless of sex or who they are submitting to? Grateful for views.

PS: I'm aware of the complications in accommodating those who sub to the same (or both) sexes but I'm sure they could fit in somewhere. Perhaps it could be "As a sub (to men)" and "Ask a sub (to women)".
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 1:38:42 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		I see where you're coming from.  Like you, I never visit the Ask A Master section of the message board. But having said that, I'm not sure that the separation that you desire is the best solution.

I don't find many topics that can't be interpreted both ways (even if it is written in a very gender-specific fashion).  So I take liberties in responding to any thread that catches my attention.  If it seems to be focused on the female sub perspective, then I'll just preface my response by saying something like "The OP asked for the opinion of female subs, but I'd like to share a male sub perspective on the topic".  Usually, the OP will respond and say that my perspective is welcome, and that they didn't mean to exclude male subs.

The area where I think there is often even greater differences is between subs and slaves.  So I'd probably separate those two before I'd separate male versus female.  But frankly, I prefer to have fewer sections of the board to visit.  So any suggestion of adding additional sections isn't going to be received favorably by me.

(in reply to paulmcuk)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 1:42:18 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I think you'll find that the "Ask A Mistress" section is more or less also an "ask a malesub" section. That's pretty much where most malesubs seem to ask and find the answers they are seeking.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 2:08:09 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Although I agree that (as a general rule) there are many differences between male and female subs, I'm for less splintering of the online community and more cohesion. Don't get me wrong, labels are necessary to facilitate communication, but I've seen far too many people try to mold themselves into someone's definition of a label (i.e. male slave).

Since anyone can answer in any forum they choose, the section titles are more than a little arbitrary.  I can certainly see how, for searching purposes, not having the division of male and female sucks, though.




_____________________________



(in reply to paulmcuk)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 2:30:32 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think you'll find that the "Ask A Mistress" section is more or less also an "ask a malesub" section. That's pretty much where most malesubs seem to ask and find the answers they are seeking.


While I agree with this *in principle*, "Ask A Mistress" isn't exactly a place where males are made to feel welcome. Yeah, I know, maybe it's just me but considering the number of male subs there are about, comparatively very few seem to post there - let alone dare to actually ask a question! It's often like the proverbial red flag to a bull; the opportunity for the usual suspects to strut their stuff....

Maybe if it was renamed "The Domme's Club", it'd be closer to the truth and the OP may not have such a reasonable point about the gender based duplicity of it all.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 2:38:14 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		fr

In my opinion, most of the male submissives that post regularly are high quality contributors and it's worth searching out their posts.

You might want to read some of the male submissive/slave regulars, put them an your admire list then you can easily follow their muses on the forums without having to sort through a lot of things that you don't believe pertain to the actual dynamic in which you're interested. I also agree with littlewonder in regard to the Ask a Mistress forum.

Personally, I think there are already too many forums and would rather see the Gorean forum retitled to include all philosophy and then see that combined into its own forum along with religion and leave politcs as a stand alone.

Not my website though, so however the owners want to tool it is okay with me. I'm grateful for the free access to intelligent conversation, silly humor and when that's all combined with BDSM, that's rock solid entertainment for me.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 3:04:20 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Focus, I don't think many malesubs post...period...in any forum. From my experience the majority of malesubs seem to just stick to sending random emails to females on the other side.  I think what you see as the "Domme Club" is simply that not many malesubs post...hell, not many MALES of either persuasion post much on the forums. I think the majority of posters on the forums are female from both sides.

I personally think we should just combine Ask a Master, Mistress, sub/slave, General into one big forum. I never see much difference between any of them anyway. Teh topics posted on any one of those could go under any one of those titles.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 4:16:01 PM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

In my opinion, most of the male submissives that post regularly are high quality contributors and it's worth searching out their posts.




We do have some fine quality boy toys around here...always have......mmm......mmmm....DarkChylde, YSG, Peon......purdy and smert.......

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 4:58:03 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		My first reaction when I got here was "Why the fuck is Ask a Master separate from Ask a Mistress??" A few minutes on each told the story. So yeah, I think it would be wise to see male and female subs split up. The fact that Ask a Mistress and Ask a Master have taken on such different pallors seems to indicate that Ask a Male Sub and Ask a Female Sub might also do so, and if they did we might get a broader rainbow of discourse. It isn't as if one can't visit the other's forums, after all.


_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 4:58:59 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		The various "Ask a..." sections are only the politest of suggestions, really more of a way of organizing the threads than anything else. Most of us answer posts in every section, regardless of orientation.

If you have a brain, you have something to contribute.*

And getting to specific leads to stagnation...just look at the switch forum.


* This requirement is waived in the P&R section.


< Message edited by Arpig -- 8/6/2011 4:59:57 PM >

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to paulmcuk)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 8:03:02 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I personally think we should just combine Ask a Master, Mistress, sub/slave, General into one big forum. I never see much difference between any of them anyway. The topics posted on any one of those could go under any one of those titles.





(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 8:06:23 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

The fact that Ask a Mistress and Ask a Master have taken on such different pallors ......



As I mentioned earlier, I never visit Ask  Master, so I'm not aware of the differences that you're referencing.  However, I have heard others mention that the tone of the two forums is different.  I guess I'll have to visit Ask a Master every now and then so I can see firsthand what you guys are talking about.

(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 8:10:04 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		This:
quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos
My first reaction when I got here was "Why the fuck is Ask a Master separate from Ask a Mistress??" A few minutes on each told the story. So yeah, I think it would be wise to see male and female subs split up. The fact that Ask a Mistress and Ask a Master have taken on such different pallors seems to indicate that Ask a Male Sub and Ask a Female Sub might also do so, and if they did we might get a broader rainbow of discourse. It isn't as if one can't visit the other's forums, after all.



_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to Epytropos)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 8:35:59 PM   
igor2003


Posts: 1718
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I think you'll find that the "Ask A Mistress" section is more or less also an "ask a malesub" section. That's pretty much where most malesubs seem to ask and find the answers they are seeking.


While I agree with this *in principle*, "Ask A Mistress" isn't exactly a place where males are made to feel welcome. Yeah, I know, maybe it's just me but considering the number of male subs there are about, comparatively very few seem to post there - let alone dare to actually ask a question! It's often like the proverbial red flag to a bull; the opportunity for the usual suspects to strut their stuff....

Maybe if it was renamed "The Domme's Club", it'd be closer to the truth and the OP may not have such a reasonable point about the gender based duplicity of it all.

Focus.


In total agreement.

_____________________________

If the women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy. - Red Green

At my age erections are like cops...there's never one around when you need it!

Never miss a good chance to shut up. - Will Rogers


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 8:37:09 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen


quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

In my opinion, most of the male submissives that post regularly are high quality contributors and it's worth searching out their posts.




We do have some fine quality boy toys around here...always have......mmm......mmmm....DarkChylde, YSG, Peon......purdy and smert.......


... Polite Sub... Roch... Otter... and where'd that damned panda go?


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 9:19:54 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		Lol, like 'ask a master' isn't the little boy sadists' and little slavegirls' club, compleat with backwards 'R's? there's 'gender duplicity'
quote:

ORIGINAL: igor2003
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
While I agree with this *in principle*, "Ask A Mistress" isn't exactly a place where males are made to feel welcome. Yeah, I know, maybe it's just me but considering the number of male subs there are about, comparatively very few seem to post there - let alone dare to actually ask a question! It's often like the proverbial red flag to a bull; the opportunity for the usual suspects to strut their stuff....
Maybe if it was renamed "The Domme's Club", it'd be closer to the truth and the OP may not have such a reasonable point about the gender based duplicity of it all.
Focus.

In total agreement.



_____________________________

"Then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open." - Agnes de Mille

(in reply to igor2003)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 9:41:57 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I think it's really too bad that we don't have more threads that are of interest to male subs/slaves in this forum. Every time I check into this forum I look for that, and it seems like they are all but voiceless around here. The little bit I do hear from them is in Ask a Mistress.

I used to check out mostly Ask a Master and Ask a Submissive/Slave. Now it's mostly the Polyamory forum, Ask a Mistress, and Ask a Submissive/Slave. I'm a switch, but Ask a Switch is dead pretty much. I even started a thread there and there was no one to answer it.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/6/2011 11:51:08 PM   
paulmcuk


Posts: 80
Joined: 4/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Focus, I don't think many malesubs post...period...in any forum. From my experience the majority of malesubs seem to just stick to sending random emails to females on the other side.  I think what you see as the "Domme Club" is simply that not many malesubs post...hell, not many MALES of either persuasion post much on the forums. I think the majority of posters on the forums are female from both sides.

I personally think we should just combine Ask a Master, Mistress, sub/slave, General into one big forum. I never see much difference between any of them anyway. The topics posted on any one of those could go under any one of those titles.


There could be an element of chicken and egg if few male subs are posting. I'm here, I want to post, but see little for me to respond to, so I don't. Then another male sub comes along, seels little to respond to, so he doesn't either. And so on.

Yes they can post in sections/threads not specifically aimed at them but many, especially new users, don't want to feel that they're hijacking. If there was a specific section, male subs might be encouraged to post more.

That said, I can see the argument of going the other way and removing the sections entirely.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/7/2011 3:05:01 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Focus, I don't think many malesubs post...period...in any forum. From my experience the majority of malesubs seem to just stick to sending random emails to females on the other side.  I think what you see as the "Domme Club" is simply that not many malesubs post...hell, not many MALES of either persuasion post much on the forums. I think the majority of posters on the forums are female from both sides.

I personally think we should just combine Ask a Master, Mistress, sub/slave, General into one big forum. I never see much difference between any of them anyway. Teh topics posted on any one of those could go under any one of those titles.



I'll take your word for that (male subs posting) and yeah, women in general seem to post more than the men. Hell, "Ask a Master" would largely be a ghost town without the strong female participation.... While there's plenty of Doms on site, there's only so many hours in the day and I s'pose it's hard to find time to post and write those creative "kneel bitch" emails to bombard the new meat with, too.... ;)

Still, I don't agree in combining/reducing the different forums as it'll just give the place a no-frills "beige" feeling. And frankly, I think CM works quite well in general.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Should this section be split? - 8/7/2011 3:26:07 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: paulmcuk

There could be an element of chicken and egg if few male subs are posting. I'm here, I want to post, but see little for me to respond to, so I don't. Then another male sub comes along, seels little to respond to, so he doesn't either. And so on.

Yes they can post in sections/threads not specifically aimed at them but many, especially new users, don't want to feel that they're hijacking. If there was a specific section, male subs might be encouraged to post more.

That said, I can see the argument of going the other way and removing the sections entirely.


I think you're over-thinking things a bit here....

Personally, I really don't come here to discuss with other male/doms. They're wired much the same as me so it's not that often another dom posts something that I don't already get. Now, female *and* submissive perspective is entirely an intriguing and mysterious world in comparison and I never tire of their thoughts on D/s.

Point being that the same logic says male subs aren't here dependent on other male subs doing likewise. Besides, and further to littlewonder's comments, the more I think about it, "Ask a Submissive/Slave" only feels like a female forum to you because of the fact far more (sub) females post than their male sub counterparts.

Perhaps the real problem is that most male subs simply haven't got a lot to say. Reminds me of the average munch I yousta attend, actually....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to paulmcuk)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Should this section be split? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109