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I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 12:21:20 PM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
I'm noticing little things are off-kilter in my world. The desserts are wanting to stick to my waistline more often than just sliding off into oblivion. About a year ago the mirror decided to reveal those little lines around my eyes. They must be making cigarettes stronger now, because they sometimes make me cough. My clothes have begun shrinking. And the clocks aren't working properly. When I start feeling tired, they only say it's 10pm.

Now, although I'd love to blame all this on gnomes and ogres, I have a feeling that maybe it's not Marlboro, the clothes-dryer, and the clocks that have changed, but perhaps *gasp*, it's me. 5 years ago I was 27. That's actually quite young when I think about it. I was thin, but round in all the right places. I wore a size 12 and I wore it well. I put on my make-up and donned my mini-skirts, and went out on the town *knowing* I could snatch up any boy I wanted to. I could have aced most any of my college courses by figuring out which look to give the professor. I didn't. But I could have.

And now... there's this change...
I can't pull off that look anymore.
But more importantly, I'm beginning to think maybe... I don't *want* to pull off that look anymore.

I've gone through.... no.... I'm *going* through, this change in my self-image, in which I'm learning to accept that my attractiveness isn't necessarilly on the outside.

It's a difficult phase to be going through. I find myself in these little "beauty dilemmas" when preparing to go out. The old me (who still thinks she fits in a size 12), digs through the dresser looking for the mini-skirts (that no longer fit), knowing that if she hones in on sex-appeal, she'll get more winks and nods. The future me glances across the blue jeans thinking "It doesn't really matter what I wear. My intention isn't to put notches in my belt. It's to have fun." And the current me is caught in the middle wondering if I'm outgrowing my physical beauty or finding my inner beauty.

I'm very proud of the fact that I aced my college courses by using my brains and hard work. The pride that I have in that far outweighs any pride I might have had about how many men I could pick up at a club. In fact, the pride about picking up men in a club is transforming from pride into a bit of disgust.
I'm not at that point yet where I can look in the mirror and say "There's a beautiful woman. That weight represents the beauty of motherhood. Those wrinkles represent years of being a survivor, learning, laughing, and growing." But I've recently come past the point of looking in the mirror and thinking "Eeek! I'm getting fat and wrinkled! Whatever shall I do!?!?" I'm in a transition between depending on my youthful beauty and embracing my inner beauty. It's an odd (and sometimes difficult and scary) place to be.

I know that where I'm heading is a much more beautiful place than where I've been. I also know that having been so caught up in who I was for so many years, it will take time to get to where I'm going. Sometimes it's hard to let go of that ability to manipulate men based on their sexuality. Other times its a welcome relief that as I grow older and let go of yesterday, I won't have any desire to do so. Sometimes it's scary to think that I'm no longer that sassy, sexy gal, and I never will be. Other times, I think maybe the upcoming me is going to be sassy and sexy in a whole new way, with a whole new meaning I've never even thought of. Sometimes, the thought of letting go of the old me brings me to tears. Other times, the prospect of what I'm going to be in the future makes me grin so big I almost laugh in joy.

It's really kind of confusing where I'm at in life regarding self-image. I've heard this is normal for women to go through in their early 30s (and then again in a whole new light later in life). Have any of you ladies experienced anything like this? Or am I really just getting fat and wrinkled and trying to delude myself into thinking it's a good thing?

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 12:35:35 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Proprietrix
I'm getting fat and wrinkled
 

I think we agree on virtually nothing but we now have at least one thing in common. Sucks that it has to be this, lol.  
Gravity is stronger than we are and all humans, male and female, if they are lucky enough to live long enough will feel (and see) its effects.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 1:02:30 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Partly it really sucks..........all those great clothes that keep getting pushed further and further back in the closet. BUT, the internal stuff so far outweighs...(play on words) the negative. I know I will probably never be a size 8 again, good chance never a 10 either. I do love my chocolate, however all the inner changes...yes, still very sassy and sexy, but also a calmness and strength and new way of seeing everything, it is TOTALLY AWSOME!!! Embrace it because it really is amazing.

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 1:24:53 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'm going to be the weirdo and say that I'm actually looking forward to menopause -- which is probably a decade plus away from me based on what my mom and sisters tell me.

But back to the topic of the OP.

Four years ago I developed endometriosos (probably mispelled) and an ovanian cyst. Whatever caused them also caused a lot of weight gain -- I put on 50% of my weight, going from my ideal of 155 to about 230 in three months. (Fox and Tom didn't even notice; how can that be?!)

I have no idea what I weigh now. I just know that I focus on getting healthy and staying healthier. (say it over and over, TammyJo, and maybe you can stay focused on it)

But yeah there are many days I hate to look at myself but that's nothing new for me. When I was 30 pounds underweight I thought I was fat too.

Now to twist the topic a bit: Do your subs or slaves or bottoms ever notice your body's changes?

Neither Tom nor Fox noticed mine; they think I'm goreous, beautiful, perfectly curving in all the appropriate places. But that nasty part of me that I learned growing up dismisses what they say as blinded by love or focused on other parts of me.

It can make me feel like a bad wife and a bad mistress when I don't believe their compliments that I know objectively are heart-felt.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 1:32:45 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I've noticed the changes but for me, they're to the good.  I'm stll in my size 10 (although I used to be a size 8).  I'm so much more accepting of myself than I used to be.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 1:34:57 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Can't say I understand your pain...
I was completely unaware of my outer beauty, a dork, and sexy was the last thing on my mind in my younger years because I learned early on that it was a bad thing, so never gave it a thought when everything was tight and I was in a size 14-16. 

I've been a size 18-20 for at least 10years now, with only a 10-15 pound fluctuation in weight, and have only been aware that I'm hot in the last 5-8years...  Backwards I know, but I've never loved my body/self as much as I do now.   I inherited awesome skin tone from my mother's side, so that I haven't facial wrinkles yet.  I have noticed the stomach doesn't stand firm and I can't pull off the brasiereless look as well anymore since reproducing (the biggest causer of change to my body, and mind) though.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 2:04:17 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Proprietrix, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Sadly, I must inform you, since I am approxomately 20 years ahead of you dear young lady, there are pros and cons to aging.
 
You can't stop it.  Sometimes you can slow it down externally with surgery, e.g. nips and tucks, etc.
 
High heels and stiletto days are gone, arthritis is here.  Stress baloons the body more, reproduction clock is slowing and shuts down in it's own time.  Young woman's clothes give way for comfortable clothes.
 
The ability to eat everything in sight and not gain a pound, are over and looking or smelling good food the pounds climb on and, you don't even get a chance to eat the darn thing.
 
True, I would enjoy being thinner and fit into all these neat outfits that have been produced since the mid 1980s.  However, I need to say that the internal beauty can only be hidden by you alone.  Package is for the eye's consumption.  If people can't look at the total you, they're shallow and not worth your while.
 
I've had some real handsome men around me.  Male models, body builders, competition body builders (one is my part time), weight lifters and all the way down to big heavy men.  These good looking men can have any pretty dominant female around without a problem.  But, they pick me and say that they're attracted to my spirit and inner beauty.  And, I am sure that these good looking folks get tired of people pawing over them and superficial treatment.
 
Sure, everybody I have met; are dissatisfied with their born bodies.  Otherwise the cosmetic industry wouldn't thrive. 
 
I have been through a lot.  My body is a testiment to that.  If people can't accept me 'as is' I don't need them.  I've earned every wrinkle, grey hair, every pound.  People make life what they will.  I just do my best to look my best, even when I feel my worse. e.g. chronic pain, stress, etc.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 2:46:47 PM   
ShivaTS


Posts: 132
Joined: 2/4/2006
Status: offline 		I understand how you feel.  I'd like to quote what my Master told me when I wanted to go on a diet.  "It doesnt matter if you can fit in a little dress because I prefer you in nothing."  Hope you feel better. 

Sorry my friend wanted to add a quote.  "nectar from the delicate pedals of a woman is sweeter with age."

< Message edited by ShivaTS -- 5/19/2006 3:13:39 PM >

(in reply to LadyHugs)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 3:44:38 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Fat, I don't have a problem with.  Too thin is a royal pain though.  I actually know I would look better (and feel better) if I could gain 10 to 15 pounds.  There is something about some extra weight that softens the look of the features.  Scrawny is as scrawny does!  *Smile*  That scrawniness translates into looking older, IMO.  Even so, good genes have been on My side, and I am often told I do not look close to My age at all.  Flattery is always nice. 
Yes, I can fit into the very mod and hip clothes, but wouldn't I look silly in a crop top?  Some things are just not appropriate for My age, so I kind of have an opposite problem of finding mature business and feminine things that are not meant for teens and college gals.
However, I think that the Dominance and self-assuredness I exude quite naturally at this point in My life is more than a fair trade.  I can give a stern and definite look that will put a sub boy in his place, and I enjoy that much more than the sexy sidelong glance that I might have used in My 20's.
That said, I continue to color My hair, smile, use little make-up, and wear what is comfortable.  It does feel different to be more mature, and different feels good.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 3:57:17 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		I'm not exactly a glamour queen or a clothes horse, being much too gender-conflicted for that.  But one of the things that really helped me feel better, stronger, healthier and more confident in all areas of my life was to undertake a sensible and self disciplined workout and diet program.  Dropped 80 lbs of fat, put on some muscle, and I look and feel better now at 36 than I have since my early 20's. 

Part of my self-discipline in undertaking conscious body recomposition was fuelled by my desire to live up to my own romantic self-image as a "gentleman knight", a strong and self-controlled warrior, a powerful leather Daddy who was healthy both physically and emotionally.  And some of it was plain old gender dysphoria, which actually improved considerably (for me anyhow, won't necessarily work for everyone) as I began to feel more in control of my own body and how it was shaped. 

If I get wrinkled, that's nature's way and that's fine.  But getting fat is entirely the consequence of lifestyle choices that are 100% under my control.  If I make good choices (lifting weights and eating hearty but healthy instead of sitting on the couch guzzling Cheetoes and beer), I can be strong, healthy and fit for a whole lot of years.  So I am committed to choosing health and fitness as a way of life now, and I very much like the results.  With a few medical exceptions, anyone can make the same choices if they are serious and determined enough. 

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 4:06:14 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I really want to thank you for starting this thread... that was sarcastic by the way... lmao. We just got back from going out to dinner and on the way I was thinking about this whole getting older thing (I've refused it for years) and I glanced down at my hand in the sunlight. All I can say is OUCH! I have old looking hands. That's where it's really showing.

quote:

I'm going to be the weirdo and say that I'm actually looking forward to menopause -- which is probably a decade plus away from me based on what my mom and sisters tell me. 


You aren't alone TammyJo.... I'm in peri-menopause, four or five months away from full blown menopause and I'm loving every second of it!! Do you realize that if you tell a man that you are menopausal and are suffering from mood swings they will actually pale?? It scares the hell outta them! And I love Celeste's sig line... Don't mess with a menopausal sadist!!

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 4:24:33 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Well if it makes you all feel any better Fastlane loves all of you Fat, Wrinkled girls!
I really do mean that in a nice way....even though it sounded awful.

Fastlane, reloads.   I love all of you girls and none of you look fat or wrinkled to me!


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 4:40:09 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		everything goes to my ass :(

then again thats not so bad

i also noticed a wrinkle of sorts sorta crease thing working on my left eye.. time for botox


_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 6:13:23 PM   
ladyangel


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/27/2004
Status: offline 		You've actually posted on exactly what I've been thoroughly contemplating, the past several months.

I've always been an early bloomer, and no doubt menopause will be the same for Me. The first to wear a "real" bra, as opposed to the trainers, the first to have to carry a purse to stuff the mini/maxi pads in, the first to have a real NEED to shave My legs so as not to have to braid My leg hair to keep them maintained.

I totally understand, and empathize with your plight, Proprietrix. I have looked at My clothes closet the same way. I have plucked gray hairs until I had small balding spots. I have woken up in the morning wondering if My body was going to function enough to get out of bed. I have also began to come to terms with My inner beauty, as opposed to the outer beauty I once believed I posessed.

I also believe this is the time of our lives when we are the learning how wise we really are. How beautiful life really can be. What joys and sorrows in life, REALLY teach us. This is the time when we can tell our youngsters that we understand their sadness, and truly mean it, because we DO understand. We have those years under our belts of living and learning to truly UNDERSTAND.

I won't claim to be looking forward to menopause. I'm dreading the mood swings even worse than I have now. Dreading the night sweats. Dreading the arthritis flaring to a point of excruciating pain, and not in a good way. I'm dreading EVERY, single waking moment of it.

But, it's inevitable. I know it's happening as I type this.

I also know that I am living My life to its fullest, given what I have to work with. And that means I'm going to have some "war wounds" and "battle scars" to go with. (i.e. the weight, wrinkles, aches & pains, gray hairs, etc.) For all of those physical signs, I am the happiest at this point, more than I have ever been.

Even with the impending doom of menopause. LOL

Luck & Love to A/all.

Lady Angel






_____________________________

you say I'm a Bitch likes it's a BAD thing.
"Pain is a uniquely personal experience"

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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 6:42:31 PM   
forluvofmaria


Posts: 59
Joined: 5/16/2006
From: mountains of MD
Status: offline 		Ah the passage of time and the gaining of wisdom, confidence and maturity. Yes I also see these signs and agree with most of the thoughts posted. But true Beauty shines from within, the of essence of a life well lived. Sexiness is all about attitude. Dress in your favorite outfit do your hair and nails and go out walking like you own the world and look for the glances of admiration you will get. Attitude, well worn, my dear is sexy! Be true to your self. Live, Love and laugh for tomorrow is not gauranteed. Cheers to all women, be the best you there is....Maria

_____________________________

Live, Love and Laugh
Life is to be enjoyed, appreciated and treasured

"Only the Heart knows how to find what IS Precious"
Fyoder Dostoyevsky

(in reply to ladyangel)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/19/2006 8:39:17 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, aging happens, and as menopause approaches, our metabolism slows dramatically.  Less food and more exercise is the only solution, even though it really sucks to be hot flashing in the middle of a workout!!!
 
However, there ARE things that can be done to slow the visible signs.  First and foremost - stop smoking!  Smoking ages your skin like nothing else can.  First the eyes, and then all the little pucker creases will start around your mouth.  Those are a lot harder to get rid of.  Experience talking here. 
 
Then, drink LOTS of water.  Keep your skin hydrated from the inside.  Use a good moisturizer daily.  And to help minimize fine lines, I recommend Avon's "Anew" facial peel, "Anew" Advanced All-in-one perfecting cream, and "Anew" Perfect eye care cream.  Basically, you can't go wrong with the Anew line.  I use these products faithfully, and they work.  My skin is healthier now than it's ever been and, at 47, I've got almost no wrinkles.  Now I just have to remember to use the hand creams to get rid of the crepy skin on the backs of my hands.
 
And no, I'm not an Avon dealer.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/20/2006 12:40:06 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		What is that saying?  "Growing old ain't for sissies!" 
 
The metabolism slows down, you don't bounce back from injuries
like during your teenage years, you care more about being
comfortable in your clothes than looking hot, and what is this
nonsense about having to fight wrinkles and acne at the same time?
 
I personally feel that many women put the needs of their partners
and families ahead of their own.  They do not set time for their sacred private space,
sacrificing their own inner growth and happiness.  Part of realizing our own
value is making time to take care of ourselves, body, mind, and soul.
 
Smoking does dreadful things to a woman's face and hands.
Seriously, a lady can look youthful throughout the rest of her
body, but the face and hands will be a dead give away that
she smokes.  My mother quit twice previously before finally
kicking the habit for good.  A moderate exercise program combined with
improved eating habits will give positive physical results. 
And once you get past the first few weeks or a month, you will actually miss
your walking or swimming or other routine.
And you will notice how much exercise improves your mood and ability to handle stress.
 
I have been using Vitamin E or Aloe Vera gel on my skin for years,
followed by Neutrogena eye creme and face creme with SPF 15.
For longer times outdoors, I switch to the Neutrogena non-oily
SPF 45.  In the summer time, wear those big hats, good quality
sunglasses and do not let your skin get burned.  And the tanning
beds will make your skin look like a rotissere chicken. 
 
And yes, hydrate with many glasses of water throughout the day
and evening.
 
And most of all, if we live long enough to enter the Grandmother's
Lodge, then all of those life experiences will be part of our enduring
wisdom to share with our friends and families.
 
One book I can recommend is "Our Bodies, Our Selves",
written specifically for women.  It is available in the health section
of major bookstores should be available on Amazon.com. 
The later editions include menopause and aging sections.
 
Yours in WisDomme,
 
Vendaval Lazuli
 
 




 
 
 
 
 
 
 

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 5/20/2006 1:04:18 AM >

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Proprietrix)
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RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/20/2006 1:51:47 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline 		Well...I'll just say that as we age, taking good care of ourselves is not just about how we look/appearance. Taking good care of ourselves gives us a greater chance at longevity and also a much higher quality of life.

As far as smoking goes......  As others have said, it’s probably the worst thing you can do to yourself. My mother, at 5'5 128lbs and very athletic, played golf and tennis five to six days a week just about her whole life - But she smoked - And it killed her at the young age of 68 - She played 18 holes of golf four days before she passed away. I always say quit while you’re ahead.



 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to Proprietrix)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/20/2006 2:21:24 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Ah, how in the world did I neglect to mention to wonders of body creams.  Damn, Denise, I must use at least 5 or 6 different creams daily.  I have 3 for my face, one for my entire body, one for my feet, another for my hands.  If anyone did try and collar me, I'd prolly slip right out of his grasp!

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I'm getting fat and wrinkled. - 5/20/2006 9:12:58 AM   
talmar


Posts: 338
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		Well I am starting to feel the old part. Being thirity seven...I get tired alot easier than I used to.  Despite exercising daily I will never get my waist size back to a twenty eight. Its a 32 now.

< Message edited by talmar -- 5/20/2006 9:14:04 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 20
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