RE: subs and weight loss.

RE: subs and weight loss. (Full Version)

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littleone35 -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 3:16:29 PM)
It seems very shallow to me. You should lose the weight for YOU not him. If you lose the weight for him and something should happen (and i hope it does not) and you don;t stay together you may gain it all back If you lose it for YOU it has a better chance of staying off (at least that is what i heard). Witholding sex that don't seem right maybe he is doing it ans an incentive? I am slightly overweight my Master does not care he is proud to be seen with me. I want to lose weight for me and if i do he is all for it but only if i am doing it for me. Good luck. Matt's littleone

maybemaybenot -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 3:25:21 PM)
Well, I am going to give the unpopular answer. I would not hold any one in high regard who used my weight as a bargaining chip, no matter the reason. If I were unhappy with my weight, or if he were to bring about a conversation in a loving, concerned manner, I would consider loosing weight. My POV is that if he tells me my body is not good enough for him, and that it is unfuckable as is, he is not respecting me or supporting me. Again, my POV is that he is chipping away at self esteem not building it. Having weekly weigh ins and sets of excersises as a precursor to possible intimacy is not something I am willing to submit to. I am just too old to be told I am not good enough. If I am not good enough as is, then he need not look in my direction. I see it this way: If you are going out to buy a new car, you get the one you like. Sure you may think, this may look great with a little pin striping here or a set of fuzzy dice there.... but you aren't going to refuse to drive it until you get more work done on it. You are going to break it in and then add the extras that make it your own. mbmbn

sweetsubie -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 3:54:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot Well, I am going to give the unpopular answer. I would not hold any one in high regard who used my weight as a bargaining chip, no matter the reason. If I were unhappy with my weight, or if he were to bring about a conversation in a loving, concerned manner, I would consider loosing weight. My POV is that if he tells me my body is not good enough for him, and that it is unfuckable as is, he is not respecting me or supporting me. Again, my POV is that he is chipping away at self esteem not building it. Having weekly weigh ins and sets of excersises as a precursor to possible intimacy is not something I am willing to submit to. I am just too old to be told I am not good enough. If I am not good enough as is, then he need not look in my direction. I see it this way: If you are going out to buy a new car, you get the one you like. Sure you may think, this may look great with a little pin striping here or a set of fuzzy dice there.... but you aren't going to refuse to drive it until you get more work done on it. You are going to break it in and then add the extras that make it your own. mbmbn I understand this, but its not a case of me changing who i am for him its me losing weight for me losing weight iv been trying to lose for so long now and im finally doing ti with Sir's help, help which im greatful for. Sir's hasnt been any way insulting towards me during all of this, he has just been full of encouragement and help, and Sir see's the sex thing to further incentive for me. i do appricate your opinion though.

PlayfulOne -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 4:06:10 PM)
Oh, this and some of your other post have proved something allright. K

tendergirl -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 4:17:07 PM)
Oh dear

missturbation -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 5:04:46 PM)
I guess this shows he wasn't just attracted to your physical looks. Your personality must have drawn him. i think as long as you are both happy with this plan then good on you and the best of luck. I myself had a similar experience but he called me thick (which i am far from). He tried to improve my intelligence by giving me word of the day which i had to use in some sentence or other. Only problem was the words he chose i had never really heard and don't think ive seen any1 use since. The only one i did use was alacrity and i had the alacrity to realise he just wasn't for me. Note _ i so hope i used that word incorrectly and he sees it.

juliaoceania -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 5:17:18 PM)
missturbation, I hope you told him to kindly go have sexual intercourse with his own rectum....smiles... I wanted to make sure I said that all polite and correct like[;)] I cannot fathom someone that would act that way to anyone they were involved with, it is very apparent to me that he was a very insecure person that needed to denigrate you in order to feel superior within himself. If he truly wanted you to improve your mind to have intellectual exchanges with him there are far better ways, such as reading the same books, and discussing them. His approach was just plain condescending and arrogant. I would think most submissives like a dom that will push them intellectually, but that is certainly a bad way to do it, and it does not show intellect at all to be able to regurgitate a dictionary.....enough of my rant...lol

desertdancer -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 6:22:55 PM)
On the flip side of this, I am curvy, or as I like to say slightly fluffy, and Master LOVES my curves, I mean he LOVES them !!! But I felt it was time to lose some weight, for myself, and though I know He loves me, He didn't encourage me to lose the weight because of His love for my curves..but now that I am actually losing He is encouraging me lots and lots and I still plan to keep a little curvey... there are Submissive out there that probably need to gian a few pounds and they're masters help them, I say if your doing to because YOU want to, and He is willing to help, YAY Go for it, but if your unsure, or are feeling bad about yourself, then you need to sit back down with Him and re-evaluate

Level -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 7:06:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation I guess this shows he wasn't just attracted to your physical looks. Not necessarily, I would think he finds her attractive. Maybe he believes there is untapped potential, and it sounds like he is working with her to reach it. Level

cuddleheart50 -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 7:13:07 PM)
if it makes you happy, then lose the weight, ..if he told me that, I wouldnt be around him anymore, sorry, but thats just me.

fastlane -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 7:25:43 PM)
You know what...you are beautiful and don't ever let anyone tell you differently. I teased you earlier about weight and I'll wait, but it was just a tease. The bottom line is this. You can not change people, physically, mentally, spiritually, or otherwise. If it is a goal of yours to lose wait and discipline helps you reach that goal...GREAT...Fastlane applauds your Dom, but if it is for his personal satisfaction.....Fastlane says "put up your dukes", because that is not fair to you. Do what you think is right and I already know that you are...everything else you hear, here, is nothing more then opinions and BullShit. It's your Dom, your life and your choice. Respectfully, Kevin

Lordandmaster -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 7:38:30 PM)
The choices are simple: lose the weight or lose him.

Level -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 7:47:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane The bottom line is this. You can not change people, physically, mentally, spiritually, or otherwise. You certainly can guide them into change. If it is a goal of yours to lose wait and discipline helps you reach that goal...GREAT...Fastlane applauds your Dom, but if it is for his personal satisfaction.....Fastlane says "put up your dukes", because that is not fair to you. What's wrong with a dominant seeking personal satisfaction? Aren't dominants supposed to exert control? Shouldn't a submissive seek to please and obey?

Nyxalinth2 -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 8:05:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane The bottom line is this. You can not change people, physically, mentally, spiritually, or otherwise. You certainly can guide them into change. If it is a goal of yours to lose wait and discipline helps you reach that goal...GREAT...Fastlane applauds your Dom, but if it is for his personal satisfaction.....Fastlane says "put up your dukes", because that is not fair to you. What's wrong with a dominant seeking personal satisfaction? Aren't dominants supposed to exert control? Shouldn't a submissive seek to please and obey? what the hell is he doing with her in the first place, then, if her body is displeasing to him? People--men and women--need to quit settling and go for what they really want. It hurts both parties to say 'Well, she's (he's) 30 pounds overweight, but I'll badger them to lose it, because they're great otherwise. and on that note, I hope it never pleases my Dom to want me to cut my wrists, eat poo, or sleep with the underaged, because I'd have to refuse, and then I wouldn't be a twoo sub.

maybemaybenot -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 8:16:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsubie I understand this, but its not a case of me changing who i am for him its me losing weight for me losing weight iv been trying to lose for so long now and im finally doing ti with Sir's help, help which im greatful for. Sir's hasnt been any way insulting towards me during all of this, he has just been full of encouragement and help, and Sir see's the sex thing to further incentive for me. i do appricate your opinion though. I agree, losing weight has nothing to do with who you are. So in that respect he is not asking for change. I am about 10 or so lbs overweight and could easily agree to lose this weight if a Dominant I was in a commited relationship with asked. It would not motivate me in the least however if there were " strings attached " to the weight loss. I guess that is where my own issue would lie. When I am in a comitted D/s relationship I will jump thru hoops, tap dance across the living room floor or anything else that makes him happy. Speaking only for me, if we met and clicked, I could not submit on a conditional basis. An incentive for me would be, after XX amount of weight/inches we go out for a celebratory dinner. Or, he takes me out shopping and chooses a new outfit, especially for him. Not withholding something. I am not criticizing, we all acheive our goals differently. For me positive re enforcement works, not withholding something. I have never done the under consideration/protection schtick; so perhaps I am looking thru different eyes. mbmbn

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/19/2006 8:30:39 PM)
It seems to me that you're wasting your time trying to please someone to the point of physical and emotional change. If he doesn't want you for all of you, why is he bothering in the first place? My partner loves all of me-my fat, my brain, my slightly crooked glasses...even though we both think it would be beneficial to my health to lose weight, it isn't a requirement for him to enjoy having sex with me or spending time in a relationship with me. If it were, I'd question how much he actually cared about me as his lover and his friend.

MsMacComb -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/20/2006 12:52:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster The choices are simple: lose the weight or lose him. Or even better, do both. [:)]

bandit25 -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/20/2006 1:12:25 AM)
Fastlane's got a good point. This is your life, your dom. I was contacted by someone on the other side who was pleased with my weight but was so concerned with how I would look in a skirt! In fact, his entire email was about clothing and what he requires from his sub. This from a guy I'd never met! Needless to say, I never have. For me, withholding sex wouldn't work. A nice dinner or a new outfit when I reached my goal...absolutely! But, if it works for you and you're happy with it, you do what you think is best. Although I have to agree with many of the posters, from your picture, you are a beautiful woman.

Level -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/20/2006 3:22:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nyxalinth2 quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: fastlane The bottom line is this. You can not change people, physically, mentally, spiritually, or otherwise. You certainly can guide them into change. If it is a goal of yours to lose wait and discipline helps you reach that goal...GREAT...Fastlane applauds your Dom, but if it is for his personal satisfaction.....Fastlane says "put up your dukes", because that is not fair to you. What's wrong with a dominant seeking personal satisfaction? Aren't dominants supposed to exert control? Shouldn't a submissive seek to please and obey? what the hell is he doing with her in the first place, then, if her body is displeasing to him? People--men and women--need to quit settling and go for what they really want. It hurts both parties to say 'Well, she's (he's) 30 pounds overweight, but I'll badger them to lose it, because they're great otherwise. and on that note, I hope it never pleases my Dom to want me to cut my wrists, eat poo, or sleep with the underaged, because I'd have to refuse, and then I wouldn't be a twoo sub. You'd have to ask him "what the hell" he's doing with her. It sounds like you're incapable of believing that he likes her and cares for her as she is, and yet sees her having even more potential, and as her dominant, intends on guiding her along that path (which she seems to want as well). Who says he's "settling", besides you? As for eating shit, cutting wrists, or sleeping with unmentionables, that's a far cry from losing weight. As for you being a "twoo sub"......... only you and yours can answer that, right? Level

sweetsubie -> RE: subs and weight loss. (5/20/2006 3:24:31 AM)
ok, cheers for all your opinions and such, it has actually helped a lot i know what i want and i know its right for me now.

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