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subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:29:08 PM   
sweetsubie


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		So, im under consideration at the moment and Sir has put me on a diet and sets excersizes for me to do each day as he isnt happy with my weight. while it upsets me slightly that Sir doesnt like my body, im happy that Sir is helping me improve myself for him but he has clearly stated that he wont fuck me untill iv lost this weight and he is happy with my size, i'm curious to see if any other subs here have experienced anything similar?
thanks.

< Message edited by sweetsubie -- 5/19/2006 12:30:43 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:33:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubie

So, im under consideration at the moment and Sir has put me on a diet and sets excersizes for me to do each day as he isnt happy with my weight. while it upsets me slightly that Sir doesnt like my body, im happy that Sir is helping me improve myself for him but he has clearly stated that he wont fuck me untill iv lost this weight and he is happy with my size, i'm curious to see if any other subs here have experienced anything similar?
thanks.

I assume you know what size he means and that you've worked this out in a healthy way so that you're reachign a maximum of HEALTH, not some ideal WEIGHT?

If so...it sounds great to me!  He's set clear goals, you're easily able to obey, and you've even got an awesome reward for it.

Now, lots of people aren't gonna like this.  He should love you as you are, his affection shouldn't be dependent on your looks, blah blah.

If that IS how you feel- then this guy isn't for you.

The fact is- a dom can set whatever standards and rules he wants.  And wanting a different look/weight, and withholding sex do not reflect any sense of actual desire or sense of affection towards you.

But seriously, if you think he's a good match, if you accept this is how he does life and relationship and you think this is healthy and fulfilling for you...then it sounds like any normal and healthy training program.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:43:00 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		Too much emphasis is put on the numbers on a scale. They don't mean much to me as long as I feel healthy and look healthy. I have been around men who wanted me to lose weight, they were concerned with a number on a scale but if I got down to the weight that either of them wanted, I would be anarexic.

Being healthy is sooooo much more important and how you look and feel and see yourself; the numbers on a scale cannot tell you how you feel.

Someone who trully cares about you won't focus on the numbers on a scale.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:45:36 PM   
sweetsubie


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you Albatross,
yes Sir and i have set a goal we wish to reach and we are doing this in a health manner by just adding more excersize and maintaining a healthy diet.
i understand what u say about some people thinking that their man should like them for who they are i can agree with that to an extent, but this weight loss shows me that Sir does because he is choosing to continue my training despite the fact that he isnt happy with the way i look.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:53:10 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I used to exercise a lot, I was a gym junkie etc...then for about 4 years before I met Master I was looking after my partner who was ill, all physical activities stopped etc..combine that with the fact I didnt realise I was really ill myself (had aenemia from blood loss and was really weak)..I'd also quit smoking and piled on some weight. Anyways, Master came, got me all fixed up in regards to me health (had a hysterectomy) and he started training me (He is really into martial arts)..its been excellent, its taking about a year and a half but I'm really starting to feel good and healthy again. (I can even do the splits again! yaaa) I agree with LA, if he is not body perfect obsessed (well if he is, thats kewl too...but im just talking for your own state of mind and well-being)...him training you etc sounds like a really good thing, I know myself, I have really enjoyed it.

The only thing that worried me about your post is the part where you said he wont fuck you till you get to a certain weight or whatever...from your pic you dont look overweight...I hope he isnt effecting your sense of self-worth.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:53:43 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		If you're happy with him, then that's great, but withholdnig sex?  That sounds a bit drastic to me...

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 12:54:08 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		You look great!   I don't think you should try to change people to please yourself.
If you can't lose the weight....I'll wait!

smiles, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:04:19 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		If you want to lose weight because it is something that you want to do for you then that is great.  But if you are doing this because otherwise you wont get to be with this guy, maybe you should not be with this guy.

I am overweight, but I am healthy.  I have been fortunate in the last year to have been with men that appreciate my curves.  That has not always been the case and I have tried dieting to please other people.  Sometimes they were successful, sometimes they were not, but they were always successful in creating resentment. 

Everyone has the right to be attracted to a certain body type.  I have just chosen to play with those who appreciate the package that this toy comes in.  Just a thought.

< Message edited by angelface183 -- 5/19/2006 1:05:01 PM >

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:06:38 PM   
silksoftslave


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		Hi,
Wow..here i thought this just happened to me.  I met someone a few months back. He was very nice the first date, but after the second date, he turned pretty mean. He indicated that despite my sweet personality, very attractive good looks, he fond my body repulsive. I am well proportioned size 12.  He made condescening remarks about my modest home, little things here and there.

He indicated that I need to lose weight and when I did i would be a true knock out. He did not want to be seen with me until I slimmed to a size 8. He also indicated that I was bit child like in my approach towards sex. I just find it amazing and love to explore.

I had enough of his disparagement and replied that I could lose twenty pounds, but he, at his age of sixty years old,still did not grasp the concept of integrity, decency, and goodness.  Never heard from him again. 

So, if the man you are with a decent fellow and is encouraging, and by losing weight would improve your health, then go for it, but if someone plays mind games with you..then I believe you know what the answer is.

Good luck.

< Message edited by silksoftslave -- 5/19/2006 1:11:58 PM >

(in reply to fastlane)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:07:02 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubie

Thank you Albatross,
yes Sir and i have set a goal we wish to reach and we are doing this in a health manner by just adding more excersize and maintaining a healthy diet.
i understand what u say about some people thinking that their man should like them for who they are i can agree with that to an extent, but this weight loss shows me that Sir does because he is choosing to continue my training despite the fact that he isnt happy with the way i look.
 

You are very young which means you are also impressionable and new. Keep in mind there are people on the web, and this site, that spread bullshit for their jollies and pretend its advice. You have just been exposed to some which you should immediatly disregard. Your health and well being should always be a concern. Those that are involved in your life should have the same concerns. If your Dom is only concerned with your weight from an aesthetics standpoint than that is so shallow he is not worth being with. A Dom does NOT own you and does NOT have the right to do or say as he pleases. You are fully within your rights to tell him so at any given moment. Don't fall for so much of the fiction that people may spew at you. The S/M world can be wonderful and it should be a positive addition to your life, not a negative thing.

< Message edited by MsMacComb -- 5/19/2006 1:08:18 PM >

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:34:01 PM   
velvetslave


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		What concerns me in your post is you are definately uncertain yourself that this is right.  Why else would you be posting on this?  If deep down you feel something is wrong,  well it probably is.  Decide what is best for you and go for it.  Your mental and physical health is the utmost important thing in your life.   It has taken me years to realise this so take advise from and older woman.  Follow those instincts, sweetsubie and they will serve you much in your life.
. 


< Message edited by velvetslave -- 5/19/2006 1:35:29 PM >

(in reply to MsMacComb)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:38:29 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Yikes!  If HE is helping you achieve a goal - then great.  If HE is telling you that you are not "good enough" as is....RED FLAG. 

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:42:23 PM   
angelface183


Posts: 688
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 Yikes!  If HE is helping you achieve a goal - then great.  If HE is telling you that you are not "good enough" as is....RED FLAG. 

_____________________________

-Babysburnin 


Yeah!  What she said!

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:50:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		No I have not experienced anything like this. My former dom balked when I wanted to lose an additional 10 lbs because he felt my figure was proportionate. The person I am seeing now thinks being healthy and active is more important than a size, although if I wanted to lose a size he would be supportive.

Frankly if you are happy with this type of motivation to lose weight and it makes you feel cared for, then it is good for you. It wouldnt work for me, but we are different people, and motivated by different things.

Please be careful with one thing, I suffered from an eating disorder when I was at your age, or should I say I was on the verge of one. I weighed about 118 and I am 5 foot 10 and this was entirely too thin. Losing weight can become physiologically addictive, especially when we are young. Please remember to heed the other advice on this thread and be HEALTHY first and thin second. What your dom may want and what your body finds healthy may not be the same things...smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 1:56:20 PM   
redpetals


Posts: 229
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Yes.I am on a diet and have added specific exercises because Master is not happy with my weight.
I think its a good thing.
He does accept me..yet He wants me to be the best I can be.
I feel positive about this,not negatively.
I think if you feel negative it is a warning sign that maybe its not in your best interest to be managed this way.
I am appreciative that He keeps me still.
And trust me..I aint no doormat.
I think you are lucky.

_____________________________

Love is a verb.

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 2:17:46 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsubie

So, im under consideration at the moment and Sir has put me on a diet and sets excersizes for me to do each day as he isnt happy with my weight. while it upsets me slightly that Sir doesnt like my body, im happy that Sir is helping me improve myself for him but he has clearly stated that he wont fuck me untill iv lost this weight and he is happy with my size, i'm curious to see if any other subs here have experienced anything similar?
thanks.


It's really good to exercise and eat healthily.....it makes you feel good about yourself . The motivation for it may not be quite the same.  You want to lose the weight to improve yourself for him and feel hurt that he *doesn't like your body* and he will not fuck you until you have.

My initial thoughts on reading, were ,that it seems quite a negative approach ....and think that there are more positive ways to help a person lose weight, with positive motivation and confidence building. I think I'd be rather wary of someone who, in the early stages of considering me, was that concerned with my physical appearance.

It's not an approach that I have been subjected to but I can imagine how I'd feel if I was.

Regards, agirl


(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 2:26:00 PM   
sweetsubie


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for your replies and for your concerns,
i was unsure but only because the thought that Sir was displeased with the way i looked upset me a little but i know now that it is for my own good and thanks for your compliments but before i started my training with Sir i was 4stone over weight which is unhealthy (im down one stone already though). Sir has set small weight targets each week for me so that i dont crash diet or anything and gives me lots of encouragement and treats when i reach my targets so he isnt a Monster lol.
Thanks again for all your help.
Claire.

< Message edited by sweetsubie -- 5/19/2006 2:28:48 PM >

(in reply to redpetals)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 2:27:11 PM   
dogobedience


Posts: 536
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline 		Perhaps not a good answer, and a failure on my part. 
I released a few years ago perhaps one of the best properties one will ever meet and or need because she could not loose weight..
She was a BBW model from bondage, has her own yahoo group with lots of members, fantastic mind, total property, experienced, what a package. But I released her because I could not take her weight it proved to me I must need looks in addition to brains, in that order. OUR loss.  

_____________________________

I start and/or reply to posts to further my abilities and share my experiences in this fantastic lifestyle.

I hope I am an intellectual instigator, making people think and or laugh and nothing more.

Tiger, proud owner of kali aka Tigerproperty

(in reply to sweetsubie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 2:53:34 PM   
Nyxalinth2


Posts: 35
Status: offline 		Personally,  my take is, if I was a big girl when we met, there's no room for this kind of bullshit.  I'm 5'9" and shapely though I'm a BBW.  I figure if I look like this beforehand, he has no business forcing me to change.  Now if it comes to my health, fine.  In fact, i'm working on it now, because I see no reason to put my life on hold until my weight reaches some magic number.  But I do not tolerate 'I have randomly decided that you are no longer attractive the way you are.  KNEEL BEFORE ZOD AND LOSE WEIGHT!!!'  Master or not, I'd tell him to go find some twig and let me find someone who truly appreciates me.

Again, within reason--health concerns, I've suddenly put on more weight, it is seriously affecting me and therefore the relationship--I understand.  It's also the approach.  if he addresses it in a kind, considerate way while still making his desires known, fine.  But none of this 'You're fat and ugly.  No sex till you lose weight' crap.  Nuh-uh.

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: subs and weight loss. - 5/19/2006 2:59:11 PM   
Nyxalinth2


Posts: 35
Status: offline 		With all due respsect, sir, did you learn your lesson?

that is more important than any regrets.

(in reply to dogobedience)
Profile   Post #: 20
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