agirl
Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
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ORIGINAL: agirl
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ORIGINAL: Epytropos
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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Your profile is all about tame me tame me tame me. Umm...no. I have no desire to tame someone. Understand that a sub loves to please and obey or they should move on. I (or any other dominant) will not *make* you please and obey.
This. If I wanted to constantly fight for control I'd buy a pit bull.
Another take on this...M did, in fact, take me on and tame me.
It doesn't mean that he constantly has to fight for control at all. Bringing me under his control wasn't some long drawn out battle because, even though I still remain a rather wild and free spirit, it was what I asked for. I worked WITH him to tame me.
There's often a negative assumption surrounding people that know they will need to be fairly firmly dealt with to bend to someone else's will, at least initially. It doesn't always mean that they wish to fight the whole time to be in control themselves.
M does have to tighten his grip on the reins now and then, he will likely always have to do that but the rest of the time he has someone that complies willingly with passion and devotion and really does find a deep pleasure in doing so most of the time.
I chose to live this way despite not being submissive and I have MOMENTS when I want to run wild, free and do what *I* want, when I want and how I want. He doesn't stifle me, he lets it run it's course knowing that I'll soon enough be back, spent, trembling and desperate for home again.
We are not all cut from the same cloth and there are many routes to living as owned.
ETA.....for some doms, it's worth the odd hassle and it really isn't *too much trouble*.
agirl
I love to be "made" to obey in certain circumstances (primarily sexual). The sections highlighted in red could equally apply to me. However, I don't consider I was "tamed" since I willing collude with that "taming." Collusion does automatically assume consent, and thus to a certain extent at least, obedience.
I have often read what you write about your dynamic, and have to admit I don't at all understand the following statement:
"I chose to live this way despite not being submissive"
In my mind, if you chose to submit (which you clearly do), you're submissive. Whether you call yourself submissive is secondary to the fact that it's what you(by your own admission) choose to do.
I'd love for you to explain exactly how choosing to submit makes you not submissive.
I choose to be owned. That doesn't mean I am submissive. I am not. I have an owner of many years that knows that he owns someone that doesn't have a submissive personality but has the capacity to be owned.
Having the capacity to submit doesn't mean that you have a submissive personality. I don't bend my will to please M or to make him happy, I do it because it is something that I agreed to and it benefits me.
You may not consider that you were tamed but I most certainly was. Even though I knew this would be extremely good for me, I also knew with utmost certainty that I wouldn't find it easy and that a period of *adjustment* would take place. In fact it still takes place.
I'm afraid that the fact that I CAN submit really doesn't mean that I am *submissive*.
I want M's authority and agreed to it years ago. That doesn't mean that I find it comfortable each and every moment, nor does it mean that my own nature doesn't struggle with it.
I'd rather live with it than without it.
And an easy analogy is that even dominant people *submit* when it's judicious to do so. It doesn't make them *submissive*.
agirl
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