quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee
I know it’s a ‘good thing’; but I find it soooo hard to go there.  Anybody else?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Talking about sex…

I can talk about anything…HERE…but I have a really hard time discussing personal ‘possibilities’ with someone new. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Talking about sex…

I like sex.  I like anal sex, I like oral sex, I swallow.  I’m no prude, is what I’m trying to say.  I can talk about anything…HERE…but I have a really hard time discussing personal ‘possibilities’ with someone new.  I’m even reluctant to talk on the phone with someone new until I’ve ‘checked them out’ online long enough to know they’re not going to try to cyber me.  Sure, I know we’re all adults, and I expect and enjoy sex with the men I date…after a date or two.  I can’t say I’m exactly shy, but it’s beginning to feel like it here.  So much talk about subbie sluts and all…I know it’s a ‘good thing’; but I find it soooo hard to go there.  Anybody else?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Yeah, but with a near stranger?????????    Mostly I'm talking about with someone ya just 'met' here... or perhaps during that first face-to-face.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Talking about sex…

I like sex.  I like anal sex, I like oral sex, I swallow.  I’m no prude, is what I’m trying to say.  I can talk about anything…HERE…but I have a really hard time discussing personal ‘possibilities’ with someone new.  I’m even reluctant to talk on the phone with someone new until I’ve ‘checked them out’ online long enough to know they’re not going to try to cyber me.  Sure, I know we’re all adults, and I expect and enjoy sex with the men I date…after a date or two.  I can’t say I’m exactly shy, but it’s beginning to feel like it here.  So much talk about subbie sluts and all…I know it’s a ‘good thing’; but I find it soooo hard to go there.  Anybody else?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Yeah, but with a near stranger?????????    Mostly I'm talking about with someone ya just 'met' here... or perhaps during that first face-to-face.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Talking about sex…

I like sex.  I like anal sex, I like oral sex, I swallow.  I’m no prude, is what I’m trying to say.  I can talk about anything…HERE…but I have a really hard time discussing personal ‘possibilities’ with someone new.  I’m even reluctant to talk on the phone with someone new until I’ve ‘checked them out’ online long enough to know they’re not going to try to cyber me.  Sure, I know we’re all adults, and I expect and enjoy sex with the men I date…after a date or two.  I can’t say I’m exactly shy, but it’s beginning to feel like it here.  So much talk about subbie sluts and all…I know it’s a ‘good thing’; but I find it soooo hard to go there.  Anybody else?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Not really sure whether or not this question is directed only at other females, or submissives (whatever gender), or everyone.

I go back and forth.  There are some things that are a bit difficult to discuss.  I understand decorum and the way to behave and yet, there is an ornery part of me that likes to tease in a sexual manner, whether I have known the submissive a long time or a short time.  Usually, when I speak with someone on the phone or in person, it is usually after having dealt with them through email for awhile.  There also comes a time when I want to know if the person I am dealing with is really comfortable with the things they profess or are they someone who has done them, liked doing them, but is still uncomfortable with the idea of them.  Are they a "slut" once they are with you or do you have to spend all your time "dom-coaxing" these behaviors out of them?  Are they always going to expect you as the dominant to initiate these things or will they, once in awhile, be hungry enough to tell me that they want this...or this...or that...please.  All these things help in finding out where a submissive is coming from physically/sexually/BDSM-play wise. 

I agree that all the other aspects of a relationship are important.  I crave emotional intimacy and revel in shared thoughts and dreams.  However, having come out of a marriage where physical intimacy had died and all that was left was emotional intimacy and realizing that I am too...shallow? (the ex's term)...for just emotional intimacy, I want to know fairly soon just where the submissive's physical needs and frequencies lie. 

quote:

  
Xander to Willow:  If you're big enough to do it, you're big enough to say it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty


I LOVE the quote LA used

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Xander to Willow:  If you're big enough to do it, you're big enough to say it.

{I see someone knows their Buffy :o) }, it is so true. If you cannot talk about it, then you should not do it.

Learn to talk about sex with your partners, it's like getting use to being naked all the time. The more you it, the more relaxed and confidant you become about it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty

...  This doesn't mean to start the 'sex talk' immediatly or int he first few emails, but this lifestyle changes the rules, we do start talking about that stuff soon and we get to know our partner's very intimately. My partner knows things about me that would scare off most others, come to think of it, most of my close friends know that sorta stuff, of course, most are into this stuff; but its that intimacy that we have.

Learn to talk about sex with your partners, it's like getting use to being naked all the time. The more you it, the more relaxed and confidant you become about it.

quote:

but I have a really hard time discussing personal ‘possibilities’ with someone new.