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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 2:08:46 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

Boy SailingBum, I've been on these threads for like 3 days and haven't heard of you. Then all of a sudden I wake up and you're at the bottom of every post with a negative, sarcastic remark. I can understand as a few people on here have some silly posts and are just demanding attention, but a lot of the people on here are sincere. Why be so rude to someone that you don't know for no reason? It's remarks and attitudes like these that give BDSM a bad name. The community should be forgiving and welcoming to all, not rude and sarcastic.

And usually your post really provides no substance whatsoever to the arguments therein. What's the deal?




Just because you don't like how he says things, doesn't make him wrong. I tend to usually agree with his posts, as I do with this one.
Everyone will have a different definition of what they consider extreme based on their experiences, partners, etc.

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 2:09:33 PM   
KnightofMists


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Extreme to me is not what you use or even what you do with what you use. It's all about the mental and emotional ride you take the person on that you are playing. Its more than them feeling pushed or going in unchartered territory. To me it's when they feel themselves over the edge ready to fall and the only thing that is stopping them from falling is You the Top!

Ps. It can be fun to let them feel like they are falling.... For just a little bit. (evil grin).

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 8/12/2011 2:13:22 PM >


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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 2:56:44 PM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Extreme to me is not what you use or even what you do with what you use. It's all about the mental and emotional ride you take the person on that you are playing. Its more than them feeling pushed or going in unchartered territory. To me it's when they feel themselves over the edge ready to fall and the only thing that is stopping them from falling is You the Top!

Ps. It can be fun to let them feel like they are falling.... For just a little bit. (evil grin).


When people talk about *extreme* I always wonder exactly WHAT they mean. Hannah's stapling scenario could be awfully dull to someone that is used to it, or for whom is isn't a challenge.

Would you rather.......have a gentle caning or be twanged with an elastic band?

Would you rather be spanked until you bleed, or have a telling off?

Would you rather be buggered or?.......

Every one would say... it depends.

It always depends.

agirl








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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 6:38:34 PM   
slaveluci


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I've shared this site before here:
http://www.queensnake.com/updates?id=14462967

Most of what she does in her videos would be considered "extreme" by many. I don't find much of it that appealing but it's never boring......
luci

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 9:20:21 PM   
subinchico


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Forced unconsciousness/passing out then being beaten bloody to death; or any component therein.


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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 9:25:51 PM   
HannahLynHeather


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quote:

Forced unconsciousness/passing out then being beaten bloody to death; or any component therein.
fuck that, that's wimpy. beating them to death when they are conscious, now we're talking edgy.

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/12/2011 9:29:08 PM   
subinchico


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IE. edgy, what I said.

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 12:59:57 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatsMissBitch

So I am wondering what other consider extreme in the area of play.


Spit roasting?

Really, without something to compare to, it's hard to draw a line somewhere. I'm not sure the term is even very useful at all, except in comparing people's activities. And since those activities vary so much, it's hard to claim that the value in comparisons is very significant, either. One person may think eliciting a few honest tears is extreme. Another may find jerking off in her ass to be perfectly normal and par for the course.

There's no overall standard in this regard.

Health,
al-Aswad.


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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 6:37:32 AM   
stoni23


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how about CBT with fire ants?

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 2:39:27 PM   
TheShrew


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23
how about CBT with fire ants?


If you're dealing with a sadist or pain slut .. this may be closer to a reward.



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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 2:41:57 PM   
stoni23


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I was doing some yard work and was getting bit up on my hands and was thinking to myself... OOOoooO this would be fun to have done to me as a form of CBT... : ). So figured i'd share it somewhere.

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 3:11:33 PM   
fragilepieces


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Extreme play---submitting to something or someone you dislike just so you can 'fit in' and be like everyone else.   

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 4:12:11 PM   
TheShrew


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Some subs like being fisted. Some dom/mes like fisting subs.
Since a tear can result in an air embolism or ruptured vein/bleeding out.. {each holding the potential to result in death} .. I suspect this to be a valid reason some people consider it extreme play. {as opposed to simple like or dislike.}
Since it isn't for everyone, I doubt people the world over will jump to mass fisting tonight just to fit in with .. whom??

ETA .. Too, I realize there are millions of people in the world who are free with their body and not the least bit discerning. However, I've never personally met a sub who admitted they met a dom/me then thought "wow, I really dislike you, SO I'm going to put my life in your hands, so I can be just like" ... whom?

{You'll have to fill in the blank with whomever you suspect the participants are trying to fit in with, because I've NFI.}


< Message edited by TheShrew -- 8/13/2011 4:20:36 PM >


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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 4:29:31 PM   
Andryanna


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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

Extreme play---submitting to something or someone you dislike just so you can 'fit in' and be like everyone else.   



I do that for the humiliation factor.
Not the "fitting in and being like everyone else" although that could be deemed humiliating as well

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 4:32:55 PM   
ThundersCry


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Lets see how long you make it here before bashing the Bum....

YOu don`t like it...skim on by...

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 4:58:22 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatsMissBitch

I don’t consider myself an extreme player.

But many people that have watched me, both on the giving end and the receiving end, do.

A few of the things that I enjoy using in a scene are needles, knives, scalpels, fire, electrical devices, whips, bondage equipment, canes, and a assortment of impact toys.

So I am wondering what other consider extreme in the area of play.


I have to agree with what Luci said; that those are not extreme in and of themselves; it's how far you go with them that would make them extreme to me.

Personally, for myself, anything that goes beyond safety and into uncertaintly in regards to survival, is extreme for me. Knives, needles, scapels, fire, electrical, etc etc; all of those can be taken to that extreme.

However, with the exception of knives, I don't care for the use of any of the one's that you listed. I am a purely 'physical' person, by that I mean, I perfer fists, feet, knives, hands...all used to the point that I am uncertain of my own safety. For me, that's the extreme edge that I like to play at.

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 11:24:55 PM   
nephandi


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Greetings

I think extreme is a word people like throw in when it is something that is far from what they do themselves. Personally if there is fire and scalpels involved that would be rather extreme to me, but that do not mean it would be extreme to the next person that comes around.

I wish you well


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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/13/2011 11:31:56 PM   
Arturas


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*BLINK*Blink*

You do know this is an "evil" BDSM forum? Things slow in the Gorean threads nowadays? I thought I was the only Gorean who embraced BDSM? Are you a closet BDSMer? Who would have known?

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/14/2011 6:12:20 AM   
fragilepieces


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Most people won't admit they are with someone they dislike nor that they participate in some sort of play they abhor simply because it gives there Top/Dominant pleasure.   However, we do on occasion see threads where people have stated they have agreed to bringing another into their relationship and really were not all that comfortable with it---or someone staying in a relationship they were not totally happy in because they ARE slaves.  

And there are masochists who are merely masochists because their Top enjoys it and they get pleasure from his pleasure but not necessarily any pleasure from the pain.  

That's my point to me that is extreme but necessarily wrong. 

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RE: Extreme Play? - 8/14/2011 2:46:00 PM   
TheShrew


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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
Most people won't admit they are with someone they dislike

Failing to admit I do not like someone, and remaining in a relationship with them as well? Thankfully, I wouldn't be that dishonest with myself. Perhaps, I have a touch of narcissism, but I love me entirely too much to 'endure' someone, for their sake. Seems less a problem with the partner and more a problem with the person who fails in being honest with themselves and others.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
nor that they participate in some sort of play they abhor simply because it gives there Top/Dominant pleasure

If the abhorrent play was not designated a hard limit, I'm failing to see the issue with this one. A stay at home chick may abhor scrubbing the commode but it's a trade off when the partner is out earning the rent. A sub may not like the cane but she may love the needle. Concession allows compromise which enables a relationship work. BDSM or vanilla .. a relationship, is a relationship .. and it takes compromise and hard work, to make it work.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
people have stated they have agreed to bringing another into their relationship and really were not all that comfortable with it

If they're not comfortable with it, they shouldn't agree to it. {Why bring stress, grief and hardship into your life?} If your partner is down with you, and as a couple your mutual goal is to enrich your union, then the relationship will bear it. If your partner would drop you for rejecting multiple subs/slaves, when that's not what you signed up for ... either way you look at it, you're in the wrong relationship aren't you? For me, this comes back to being honest with yourself and your partner.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
or someone staying in a relationship they were not totally happy in because they ARE slaves

I realize this problem exists because I've known battered women .. and I was a battered woman. With all confidence I can assure you that this is not exclusive to slaves. Domestic abuse aside .. I  realize people can/do remain in unhappy, dead-end relationships. Once again, this comes back to being honest with yourself and that other person ... then acting on the knowledge you possess. You have to be {or grow} strong enough to live your life.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
And there are masochists who are merely masochists because their Top enjoys it

Then they aren't actually masochists, are they? They're just a willing participant. They are people suffering the will of another human, to please that human, above their own best interest. Once again, we're back to being honest with yourself and the other person.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
and they get pleasure from his pleasure but not necessarily any pleasure from the pain.

If the masochist gained pleasure .. because a sadist gained pleasure .. by inflicting pain upon the masochist .. then I'm failing to see the issue with this one. Masochism is not limited to deriving pleasure from physical pain. It can be from physical, psychological or emotional pain as well. In that regard, it seems a textbook S/M exchange.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
That's my point to me that is extreme but necessarily wrong.

I understand your point, and it was well explained. I tend to disagree because I do not, necessarily, equate failing to be honest with yourself and your partner as extreme. A colossal waste of time, perhaps, but not extreme. Although, I do agree that it is wrong.



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