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RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 5:28:30 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
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Anyone, male or female, who is married, engaged, collared, having collared, well, pretty much in any type of relationship should say so right up front. On the profile, or at the very least, in the initial contact.

I don't know what is more frustrating, finding out someone has a relationship later or someone that's up front about it, but believes because his/her SO isn't into the lifestyle, it's perfectly ok to play with someone who is. I love the old line, "My wife knows all about it, she gave her permission." *rolls her eyes*.

I'm sorry cuddleheart, but at least you found out sooner, rather than later.

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RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 5:41:55 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I just wanted to say that all of you are the Best! Thanks for the support and kind words, and for letting me know that he is the one in the wrong. I didn't meet him here on collarme, believe it or not, I started talking to him on another vanilla dating site. And his profile didn't mention he was married. I am so naieve(however you spell that) that I believe people will tell me the truth because I am so honest. Can't help it though, I'm just so trusting.

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RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 6:09:02 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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Cuddleheart i am so sorry to hear this happened to you. My thought is he was trying to get you to like him before he told you in the hope that once you liked him it would not matter to you. I am sure there is a great Dom out there looking for you and i have no doubt you two will find each other. Best of luck.

Matt's litleone

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Post #: 23

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 6:13:17 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I'm so sorry for your hurt. I understand how it feels. Learning experiences are never fun. Like the one whereby I learned to say "You may have control of me, in time, but that does NOT give you control rights over my children." It's amazing what some people assume!

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Post #: 24

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 6:25:36 AM

Clothespingirl

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/8/2006
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Cuddleheart, hon, join the club... you're one of us now! (((hugs))) It happened to me no less than three times in two months before I wised up... I put an intro sentence in my profile specifying I'm looking for single men. So now if they try to get around me I can feel justified in ripping their balls off... <toothy grin!>

Oh, and here's a prediction: you're likely to hear from him in a week or two, asking if you can just chat as friends, because he misses your humor, warmth, or whatever. Don't do it, he'll just be trying to get cybersex or nude pictures!

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Post #: 25

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 6:27:53 AM

CAROLF

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/29/2006
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you know what cuddleheart, you should tell me his sn, just between you and me, just go ahead, and post it right here, and i swear i won't tell a soul. Gosh, i swear, i mean, i can be just as honest as him......efg

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Post #: 26

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 7:04:23 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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Smile cuddleheart.....another lesson learned, and as some pointed out..."bettter sooner than later" to find such things out. It's amazing how quickly we deflate when we hear those 5 little/huge words "By the way, I'm married"

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Post #: 27

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 7:26:26 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Sorry Cuddleheart. It sucks when someone turns out not to be what you thought or what he represented himself as. I feel for you.

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Post #: 28

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 7:32:18 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
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Evian..... the first bottled water i ever heard of spelled backwards is naive..... LOL that is how i learned to remember how to spell it....

< Message edited by OTKkindaGirl -- 5/20/2006 7:41:37 AM >

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Post #: 29

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 7:50:21 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

Evian..... the first bottled water i ever heard of spelled backwards is naive..... LOL that is how i learned to remember how to spell it....

Thanks, I'll remember that..

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Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

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Post #: 30

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 9:17:08 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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because he was deceitful. He told you all he was etc etc etc.... all in hopes that when he told you what you didn't like..... you wouldn't overlook it. He was trying to hedge his bets before the race was finished.....

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Post #: 31

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 9:25:00 AM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
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Cuddleheart: I'm sorry you had to wait two weeks to find this out. But count your blessings and learn the lesson.

To be fair to this guy, I don't see him as some lying monster. he absolutely should have told you he was married in the beginning, but two weeks is not a huge investment and he did tell you. Perhaps not in the time frame you would have liked, but he didn't lie or deceive you, either. Now you know the next time to ask that question in the very beginning.

It still hurts, it still sucks. Having your hopes smashed feels lousy. Hope you are up and running again soon.
mbmbn

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Post #: 32

RE: Honesty - 5/20/2006 9:33:34 AM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
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Even stating clearly in your profile that you seek single men only doesn't do much good. My profile has always stated that, yet the majority of responses I receive are from attached subs with spouses who don't "understand" their needs. Ya right, and what part of single does not make sense to them?

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Post #: 33