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RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:13:56 PM

DarqueMirror

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy
Sorry DarqueMirror...but I disagree--I know a LOT of women who had serious self-esteem issues following their mastectomies, the exact feeling of "I'm no longer a woman" and "I'm no longer sexually desirable" You are WAY out of touch on that one.

Oh really? What's easier to replace? A breast, or a prostate/testicle? Oh wait. I think my question is moot. I don't believe a prostate can be replaced. Nor can a functioning testicle.

A breast is cosmetic. A simple surgery can have the woman looking better than she did before. Hell, the cosmetic surgery field is thriving simply because of women who want fake breasts. And many who get them never had cancer.

A woman with fake breasts can still have kids. A man with no testicles can't even get a woman pregnant. A man without a functioning prostate can't even have sex.

(in reply to hausboy)

Post #: 21

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:16:47 PM

hausboy

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true NuevaVida...

and I'm not saying that ANY cancer is a walk in the park. My physician's exact words to my father--"if you had to get a cancer, prostrate cancer is one of the most survivable" In comparison, my good friend with breast cancer was told: "get your affairs in order as soon as possible, and if you need to reconcile with any family, do it now."

sidenote to that story: she had an un-supportive drunk of a husband who wouldn't even drive her to chemo. Pissed off, she decided that if she only had a few months to live, as she was told, she was going to have a GREAT couple of months. She pampered herself....spa treatments....nice food (when she could eat)....bought the big screen tv...anything to make her comfy...AND leave useless hubby with maxed out credit cards after she died.

Several cards and $20,000 in debt later...she goes to the doctor to be told "you're in remission". her response: "What? Are you fucking kidding me?? I'm supposed to die!" And then had to explain her statement to the surprised doctor.

She finished her second course of chemo & surgery... and we now laugh about the credit cards. She said it was a tough lesson to teach her to let go of financial worries--she's worried now the cancer is back again, and she's already told me she will not do chemo a third time.

Compared to my Dad, who fortunately, has had a good quality of life, and I have to periodically remind him that he does, in fact, have cancer. his reply. "Oh. yeah. That."

American Cancer Society is one of the charities I support.

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Post #: 22

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:19:22 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

true NuevaVida...

and I'm not saying that ANY cancer is a walk in the park. My physician's exact words to my father--"if you had to get a cancer, prostrate cancer is one of the most survivable" In comparison, my good friend with breast cancer was told: "get your affairs in order as soon as possible, and if you need to reconcile with any family, do it now."

True. I know of no cancer that's a walk in the park. I've had too many loved ones die of cancer, or suffer like hell through their survival of cancer.

That's awesome about your Dad. My dad's prostate cancer metastasized aggressively, and took his life 5 years ago. My uncle, on the other hand, is living his life to the fullest and his prostate cancer is just a memory.

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Post #: 23

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:22:50 PM

NuevaVida

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Oh and DarqueMirror, you seem to be forgetting that it's cancer and it kills. It's not a matter of popping off a tit and replacing it with a silicone one. There is long term serious physical sickness that goes with it.

One cancer is not better or more important than another. If you think a cancer deserves more attention, do something to give it its attention.

I do a multiple myeloma walk every year (bone marrow cancer) because my sister's husband, who just had a bone marrow transplant and a stem cell transplant, is trying to survive it. I had never heard of it a few years ago, now the word is getting out, more and more. Why? Because people went out and got the word out. That's how it's done.

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Post #: 24

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:23:01 PM

hausboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy
Sorry DarqueMirror...but I disagree--I know a LOT of women who had serious self-esteem issues following their mastectomies, the exact feeling of "I'm no longer a woman" and "I'm no longer sexually desirable" You are WAY out of touch on that one.

Oh really? What's easier to replace? A breast, or a prostate/testicle? Oh wait. I think my question is moot. I don't believe a prostate can be replaced. Nor can a functioning testicle.

A breast is cosmetic. A simple surgery can have the woman looking better than she did before. Hell, the cosmetic surgery field is thriving simply because of women who want fake breasts. And many who get them never had cancer.

A woman with fake breasts can still have kids. A man with no testicles can't even get a woman pregnant. A man without a functioning prostate can't even have sex.

A breast is cosmetic to you perhaps, but to many women I know, it is very much a part of them. Tell that to a woman who will never be able to breastfeed her baby--that her breast is just cosmetic. You think a double mastectomy is simple? Really?

By the way, there are testicle implants that look quite good. And there are plenty of men out there who are incapable of producing sperm--and many of them do manage to get on with their lives.

I am sure that for a man to lose his penis is beyond devastating, but to minimize the loss of a breast is completely insensitive and out of touch with women's emotions.

By the way, Mother Nature didn't outfit me with working balls or a penis-- I will never know the joys of ejaculating sperm--but my female partners have never complained that I do not satisfy them enough, and while it took me a few years to get to this point in life, I do feel whole as a man, even without a "working" penis.

(in reply to DarqueMirror)

Post #: 25

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:26:36 PM

Termyn8or

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FR

All kidding aside, if you think a body part defines you, there is something wrong.

I could have my dick cut off and take a one titted Woman on the couch and with fingers and everything do what I shouild. And a good part of my pleasure is derived from hers. And even with no dick, there are still erogenous zones on the male body, so she can return the favor. It might not be easy, but anyone says it's impossible and I will say you are full of shit.

I haven't explored this shit, but there must be possibilities. Sure, a clitendectomy or penisectomy must make it damnear impossible, but does that mean you shouldn't TRY ?

I agree it's fucked up, but ............ there is more to life than a body part. If not, stop this planet at the next stop. And give me a transfer.

T^T

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 26

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:26:42 PM

hausboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

true NuevaVida...

and I'm not saying that ANY cancer is a walk in the park. My physician's exact words to my father--"if you had to get a cancer, prostrate cancer is one of the most survivable" In comparison, my good friend with breast cancer was told: "get your affairs in order as soon as possible, and if you need to reconcile with any family, do it now."

True. I know of no cancer that's a walk in the park. I've had too many loved ones die of cancer, or suffer like hell through their survival of cancer.

That's awesome about your Dad. My dad's prostate cancer metastasized aggressively, and took his life 5 years ago. My uncle, on the other hand, is living his life to the fullest and his prostate cancer is just a memory.

So sorry to hear that about your Dad. My mom was extremely aggressive about making my Dad get checked every year--and the slightest bump or discoloration and he's off to the doctor--because of that, both types of cancer that he has were caught very very early. It's been 15 years now for my Dad..

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 27

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:29:49 PM

TheBanshee

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Joined: 7/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror

You want to talk trauma? No, not many penises are getting cut off, though clearly it does happen. The thing is, a woman without a breast is still a woman. Implants are a day surgery at worst.

A man with prostate problems from cancer can (in many cases) no longer have sex without help. A man with no testicles cannot produce children.

A woman without a breast is still a woman. Often times a man who's had testicular or prostate cancer has trouble even seeing himself as a man....and society doesn't help much.

Implants are a day surgery at worst? After a woman has a mastectomy, she would have to quite possibly go through chemo and/or radiation. Then it would be a breast reconstruction if she decides to have this done, which can involve a number of surgical techniques, which is not the same at all as having a breast augmentation or "boob job". You also seriously minimize the trauma a woman goes through. I have no doubt that a man suffers a great deal having penile cancer, all cancer is difficult to overcome.

(in reply to DarqueMirror)

Post #: 28

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:33:06 PM

NuevaVida

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Thanks, hausboy. I hope the best for your Dad. I've known several men who have happily gone on with their lives after beating prostate cancer, and I am thrilled for them.

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Post #: 29

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 8:40:29 PM

TheBanshee

Posts: 403
Joined: 7/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy
Sorry DarqueMirror...but I disagree--I know a LOT of women who had serious self-esteem issues following their mastectomies, the exact feeling of "I'm no longer a woman" and "I'm no longer sexually desirable" You are WAY out of touch on that one.

Oh really? What's easier to replace? A breast, or a prostate/testicle? Oh wait. I think my question is moot. I don't believe a prostate can be replaced. Nor can a functioning testicle.

A breast is cosmetic. A simple surgery can have the woman looking better than she did before. Hell, the cosmetic surgery field is thriving simply because of women who want fake breasts. And many who get them never had cancer.

A woman with fake breasts can still have kids. A man with no testicles can't even get a woman pregnant. A man without a functioning prostate can't even have sex.

Oh, about that - before a woman goes through the chemo and radiation, she would have to have her eggs harvested and frozen likely - another surgical procedure and one possibly not covered by insurance. A woman has a finite number of eggs which are already in her ovaries. Chemo and radiation can damage them. Having children is a little riskier for someone who's had breast cancer (hormone changes can aggravate the status quo) and they usually recommend a couple of years waiting before you even try.

(in reply to DarqueMirror)

Post #: 30

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 9:00:25 PM

tj444

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Joined: 3/7/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror
It seems like almost every time I go to the grocery store, the debit card terminal is asking me to donate to breast cancer research, complete with pink ribbons and balloons everywhere. I've literally counted the trips where I've been asked to donate to a man-specific cancer such as prostate cancer. It only lasts a week or two, tops.

I dislike it very much when i go to a store and am asked to donate to whatever charity they have chosen. If i go to an event and i know the fee is going to a charity i am fine with that, but i do not want to be asked at stores. One store i simply stopped shopping at cuz i just had enough.

I think for decades charities and medical research have been skewed towards men, aimed at curing male diseases and study how men react to various treatments. For a long time, they said women didnt die of heart attacks so no need to do research for that. Of course, that was wrong. Women are different than men so they wont necessarily react to treatment the same way as men.. so breast cancer gets a little more PR than other cancers.. if people think its an important charity then they will give, if they dont think its as important then perhaps they wont.

You decide where your charity dollar goes, if you think male cancers (or something else entirely) are more important to you, i am sure you can go on their website and in a few minutes make a generous donation...

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Post #: 31

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 9:22:05 PM

HannahLynHeather

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but he's done his bit tj, he's whined about it on the net. i mean really, what more can you reasonably ask of a fellow?

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Post #: 32

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 9:42:36 PM

MrSprocket

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If I'm going to donate to any form of disease, I will go to the home or hospital room of that person and give that person my money there.

At least then i know that some organization like Red Cross won't take 60% of it...

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Post #: 33

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 9:57:32 PM

Termyn8or

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United Way is even worse.

T^T

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Post #: 34

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 10:03:29 PM

MrSprocket

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Even so. It was a sad day when the first person figured that they could take advantage of people's emotions as to practically steal their money and line their own pockets with it.

Back on topic. My mother had breast cancer and almost died from an infection after removal. I learned about it on my 16th birthday. One hell of a day that was for us both.
Her and I decided to hand make hats for other cancer patients to keep their heads warm.

She survived with a breast lost and major scarring. Now she is sponsored on motorcycle rides for the cure and what-not.

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Post #: 35

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 10:04:19 PM

DarqueMirror

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Joined: 3/21/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBanshee
Oh, about that - before a woman goes through the chemo and radiation, she would have to have her eggs harvested and frozen likely - another surgical procedure and one possibly not covered by insurance. A woman has a finite number of eggs which are already in her ovaries. Chemo and radiation can damage them. Having children is a little riskier for someone who's had breast cancer (hormone changes can aggravate the status quo) and they usually recommend a couple of years waiting before you even try.

It's still possible. With no prostate, there's no sex. And prostate cancer may be more "survivable" but you have to really examine the quality of life afterwards. If iwas told I wouldn't be able to have sex anymore, I'd tell the doc to forget about treatment. If I was told I'd lost my testicles, I'd say the same thing, most likely.

(in reply to TheBanshee)

Post #: 36

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 10:05:12 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

but he's done his bit tj, he's whined about it on the net. i mean really, what more can you reasonably ask of a fellow?

when you think about it tho, it does tend to be women that do the grocery shopping much of the time, so it makes sense that a company wanting some good PR would support a charity that benefits their primary target, women. So why would he expect anything else?

Maybe the local tire store should be supporting those male targeted charities since taking care of the car is what men tend to do more..

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Post #: 37

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 10:14:28 PM

MrSprocket

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Nope. Us men all get our food from gas stations.

Beef jerky and hot sauce to wash it down with.

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Post #: 38

RE: This is fucked up - 8/17/2011 10:17:12 PM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror
So....single guys never set foot in grocery stores? Husbands never ever do any grocery shopping? Damn, what 1950's town do you live in? And can the Beaver come out to play?

Did i say that?

eta- I don’t think a grocery stores motives are entirely altruistic, they get the most bang for their buck, so to speak, from charities that appeal to their target market, which does tend to be women (usually dragging screaming kids behind them).. and stores figure,. the men that do shop there probably have a wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter that they would not want to see die from breast cancer.. so either way, the store wins on the PR front…

so do you happen to know and love/care for a female that you would not want to see die from breast cancer?

< Message edited by tj444 -- 8/17/2011 10:27:38 PM >

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Post #: 39

RE: This is fucked up - 8/18/2011 3:14:26 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarqueMirror

You likely won't again. This country is so breast cancer crazy, it's as though we are collectively no longer aware there are other types of cancer, some of which affects only men.

It seems like almost every time I go to the grocery store, the debit card terminal is asking me to donate to breast cancer research, complete with pink ribbons and balloons everywhere. I've literally counted the trips where I've been asked to donate to a man-specific cancer such as prostate cancer. It only lasts a week or two, tops.

I don't see any walks for testicular cancer, prostate cancer, or any other male-specific forms of cancer, yet breast cancer walks -- the susan g. komen race or whatever -- has ads that dominate commercial breaks for months.

my view may be skewed because I work in the healthcare industry, but I see just as many public service announcements, posters and awareness campaigns for men to get their prostrate checked. I have participated in fundraisers for prostrate cancer...and Lance Armstrong is a national spokesperson for testicular cancer. Seek and ye shall find.

Prostrate cancer and breast cancer (men get breast cancer, too, you know...) are different in many ways. Breast cancer is far more aggressive--I have a close family member with breast cancer...as well as a family member with prostrate cancer. The only thing they have in common--both cancers. The treatments are night and day different.

I encourage you to read this:
http://ww5.komen.org/AboutUs/SusanGKomensStory.html

What the Komen Foundation has accomplished is incredible--I would love to see all forms of cancer eradicated in my lifetime, but complaining about too much emphasis/awareness for breast cancer is like complaining about all the emphasis on racism every MLK Day.

Edited to add: www.pcf.org/ The National Prostrate Cancer Foundation

You work in Healthcare but write "prostrate" instead of prostate? Hope you aren't a doctor.

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Post #: 40

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