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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/21/2011 8:20:21 PM

dublinemma

Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline

I have a very dominant personality in some ways and i seem to get a good response from it from people that are real. The ones who have an issue with the fact that i wont bend over cuz they told me to are generally fakes. But my 'backbone' so to speak is part of my lure in my opinion. It turns me on to be chastised (in the play sense) by a dom for being a brat and then to be broken down but i dont make it that easy. Its all about the fun and knowing when to back down, there are times that a dom just wants to be obeyed and i will then but if its something I feel needs a discussion im not afraid to speak my mind.

(in reply to poise)

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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/28/2011 9:41:07 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

If a sub is powerful wouldn't it only make their submission that much more meaningful? And bring greater satisfaction to the Dom/me who can tame them?

To me, yes, from both sides of the kneel. I am a very strong-willed woman and I do not take lightly the power I have to be in a dominant position over someone, because I know from being in a relationship where I was the sub/slave, what it takes to yield that control to another person.

I liken my situation to The Taming of the Shrew. I can be a hellion. It took someone very strong, whom I respected and trusted, to make me feel as though I could allow him to harness that part of me and hand over the wheel. However, when the time came for me to release myself from that relationship, I took that power back and said goodbye. Since I am a switch, with a very strong (physically & willed) male sub, I understand what kind of trust he places in me and the responsibility that I have to never misuse that trust.

I would never want a milktoast sub, someone so easily pliable that the slightest touch, real or figuratively, would make them become a "useless worm." There is no challenge in that, and to me, no real dynamic, and no fun.

~ Red

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Post #: 42

RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/28/2011 11:36:49 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

In my opinion, the most beautiful submission is given by a strong person to one who is trusted in so many ways, and makes a vow to never abuse that trust.

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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Post #: 43

RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/28/2011 11:40:10 AM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

[I would never want a milktoast sub,

Swoops in...yellss...nope Red wants Geogurt....that tasty collarme treat....runs on before Redaliscious can smack me...

Hey...runs back in....waits...I'm not totally stupid...Red gives good smacks.......

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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/28/2011 11:57:28 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

[I would never want a milktoast sub

Swoops in...yellss...nope Red wants Geogurt....that tasty collarme treat....runs on before Redaliscious can smack me...

Hey...runs back in....waits...I'm not totally stupid...Red gives good smacks.......

You are such a goof!!!

I adore you!

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/28/2011 1:02:47 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhageSylver

Since I joined this site I've encountered many "doms" who seem to think that a submissive that has a backbone and uses it seems to be a bad thing. Have any of you other submissives out there had that issue?

You mean on the other side? Yeah I've encountered it. On the whole, unless I'm pissed off and need to release some steam I just laugh, block, and delete. They aren't worth getting upset about.

I'm generally independent and outspoken - moreso when unowned and there is noone to keep me in check.

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(in reply to PhageSylver)

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Post #: 46

RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/28/2011 8:50:19 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

my Mistress enjoys the gift of my submission to Her i do have intelligence and opinions of my own it adds to the dynamic. i do know some on both sides of the kneel that want to either have a puppet or be the puppet if that makes them happy fine but don't assume that as a sub i will do as you say because your a Dom/top or whatever.

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Post #: 47

RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/29/2011 5:00:38 PM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

one of my subs is extremely outspoken and independant. And that in no way makes her less valuable or capable of being a sub, or a person. If anything it is more empowering for me as the D to know that she has an opinion, isn't affraid to express it, and has the courage to listen when someone's view does not match her own. In the begginning of our relationship having the friction made for some very intense sessions. As time has gone on, the real draw and enjoyment is knowing not that I "broke her in" or any of that b.s., but that she willingly does anything for me because she wants to, even if it is something she does not enjoy, knowing how opinionated and confident that she is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhageSylver

Since I joined this site I've encountered many "doms" who seem to think that a submissive that has a backbone and uses it seems to be a bad thing. Have any of you other submissives out there had that issue?

An example, the very first night that I met her we were; at an apartment complex in the hot tub, drinking and passing random stories. Two frat guys came down and began making passes at her. In absolute penny fahion, she not only shut them down. She threw the kitchen sink at them. It made some of these forum tirades seemed like a relaxing meditation. I laughed so hard for so long that night. The thing that probably made it so memorable was not that she was so opinionated and direct, it was that the frat guys kept trying to "prove themselves" to her. One brought down a picture of his dad to prove he was a firefighter. Her response, "Did that picture come with the frame, meat sack?" Meat sack. She said, "Meat sack!!" sigh...if only I had thought to youtube that encounter...

< Message edited by Endivius -- 8/29/2011 5:04:07 PM >

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Post #: 48

RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/29/2011 7:16:56 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PhageSylver

Since I joined this site I've encountered many "doms" who seem to think that a submissive that has a backbone and uses it seems to be a bad thing. Have any of you other submissives out there had that issue?

It makes me think that they would be afraid of a sub with a mind of her/his own. I have a mind of my own and Daddy is glad. I am also glad that my sub has a mind of his own, because I like intelligent conversation. I would certainly not want a "worthless worm." I can't see why anyone would want to possess something like a worthless worm, but to each her/his own.

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/29/2011 9:46:47 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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okay so lack of backbone which equates to bending to another's will is now seen as intellectually lacking. Interesting.

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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/31/2011 9:16:06 AM

justrex

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/9/2011
Status: offline

I don't believe that I would have any respect for a sub who didn't have spirit or a mind of their own. Or any desire either, for that matter. If I wanted nothing more than a silent compliant doormat I would spend $7,000.00 and buy a Realdoll. Even though I am by no means an "experienced" Dom, I understand the dynamics of a power exchange. I have some limited experience, but I am not one of the original settlers, if you know what I mean.

There's so much more to being my sub/slave than kneeling at my feet and calling me "Master". I also want to know their thoughts/ideas/desires. Their wants needs and dreams. If my sub is happy and content, then Master will also be happy and content.

Power.
Exchange.
It's self explanatory.

I'm a Dom, not an selfish self-absorbed asshole.

Or at least I try to be.

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RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 8/31/2011 9:56:50 AM

tolovetolaugh

Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Besides, they aren't reading your profile. They send the same email to every new female who shows up on the site. Think of them as telemarketers and just hang up.

I always ignore emails from anyone who sounds like he came here after buying Submissive Women's Secrets

Thank you so much that had me rolling on the floor crying with laughter!

My only question is was it meant as a joke or is it a serious book?
If so I now have someone to blame for all those poor Doms who have been deceived into thinking all subs are like that.

And I loved the obviously photoshopped pictures of pretty chained up girls.

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

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Post #: 52

RE: A strong, independent submissive. - 9/2/2011 10:46:52 PM

avena

Posts: 80
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

Not specifically here at CM, but on many different websites, as well as a few incidents in person, I have been called a 'bad sub' so many times precisely because I don't bow down and automatically call everyone who says they're Dom/me by whatever honourific they choose to label themselves with. I'm not talking about high protocol situations here...I'm talking just general 'nice to meet you' type conversations for the most part.

Like many many many (add as many many's as you like) subs here, and elsewhere, I am strong, independant, and opinionated, with a good education which allows me to be articulate on some subjects. I have worked in a job where I am in charge. I make the decisions. I take the responsibility. And I make damn sure everyone does what they're supposed to be doing, when they're supposed to be doing it. To support myself in that job, I learned to look someone in the eyes and be assertive, even if that person was far more dominant than naturally submissive little me. And I take that attitude into most situations where I'm encountering new people in a new setting. So yeah, I got put down a lot for being too assertive (or aggressive, or bitchy, or whatever negative term you like). A few of the doms I met wanted to break me. Others dismissed me as a 'player' because I didn't fit their idea of a submissive.

But what Endivius said applies directly to me and to my relationship as well:

quote:

one of my subs is extremely outspoken and independant. And that in no way makes her less valuable or capable of being a sub, or a person. If anything it is more empowering for me as the D to know that she has an opinion, isn't affraid to express it, and has the courage to listen when someone's view does not match her own. In the begginning of our relationship having the friction made for some very intense sessions. As time has gone on, the real draw and enjoyment is knowing not that I "broke her in" or any of that b.s., but that she willingly does anything for me because she wants to, even if it is something she does not enjoy, knowing how opinionated and confident that she is.

I highlighted the really important part of that phrase, as it applies to my relationship with D. Yes I'm stubborn sometimes. And yes, I ask way too many questions. And yes, I speak up for myself, even when he sometimes wishes I'd just keep my mouth shut. But he loves the fact that even though I often have to pause and argue with myself internally before I can perform certain tasks for him, he still gets to watch the transformation in my eyes as I do willingly kneel to him. For him I will do what I will NOT do for anyone else, and that is a powerful feeling.

For every 'dom' out there who ever called me a bad sub, I just wanted to say, here and now....

THANK YOU!!

If I hadn't walked away from each and everyone one of them, with my head held high, I may not have found myself kneeling at D's feet...and very happily I might add

(in reply to PhageSylver)

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Post #: 53