RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (Full Version)

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HannahLynHeather -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/19/2011 2:12:05 AM)

i don't get it, i don't know what the fuck you're asking. input on what.

a 30 day orientation? stupid fucking idea if you ask me, which you did. i guess i'm old fashioned, i give shit however long or short it takes.

a contract? even stupider fucking idea. no point, no purpose, no value.

i'm sure you'll be even more disappointed than before if you ever return to this thread, but you asked for my thoughts on this, and those are my thoughts on this.



wanabmrscuck -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/19/2011 7:08:19 AM)

regardless of how I have felt on the posts here, thanks for the input. The person in question is military and PCSd here after a deployment. Therefore - the moving for career is NOT by his own choice or accord.

Again, thanks for the input. I was disappointed as I should have asked for advice not thoughts on the matter at hand.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/19/2011 8:26:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanabmrscuck

This slave has years of training and is not new to it in any way shape or form.


Then why is 'this slave' unable to provide references? I'd certainly want to talk with his former lifestyle partners to get a bead on the type of company he kept. Just as I call potential tenants' previous landlords about their conduct as renters and check with their current and prior job supervisors. In this regard there's no such thing as 'too much information'.

I wouldn't worry about a contract or orientation or anything else. You might meet him this weekend and one or both of you decide there's no in-person chemistry. How disappointed and perhaps a bit sheepish would you feel then having put all this energy into defining the unknown? Meet the guy...see if you click...relax and enjoy either moving forward with him or realizing he's not for you or you're not for him and moving on to the next one.



LadyAngelika -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/19/2011 8:42:45 PM)

quote:

I was disappointed as I should have asked for advice not thoughts on the matter at hand.


But you probably would have received pretty much the same responses.

You see, the regulars on this message board, at least in this section Ask A Mistress, are for the most part people who have real time experience with relationships with varying degrees of BDSM. They hold jobs, have families, have normal lives like every body else, and now and again drag out the toy box and get downright kinky. They have a realistic approach to this and know that when you boil it right down, it's about adults having a little fun, no more, no less.

So the message that's being sent to you, and I agree with it, is drop all this protocol, the "come here and worship my ass" oversexualized shot and just meet the guy and figure out if you like him. If you do, then see him again and figure out what works best for both of you. Simple as that ;-)

Let life take you where it takes you. Being in control means not having to control everything.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/23/2011 11:21:55 AM)

Well, Mrs. Cuck, it's Tuesday. How was the weekend meeting? Was it a match? What did you decide to do?



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/23/2011 11:28:19 AM)

I got asked to wear a collar by a Domme before we had even met. Being aware of the symbolism I declined & ceased all contact. Just a little to much too soon.

Whatever happened to a candle lit supper, a walk in the moonlight, or just good old honest to goodness foreplay?



Hillwilliam -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/23/2011 12:00:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

I got asked to wear a collar by a Domme before we had even met. Being aware of the symbolism I declined & ceased all contact. Just a little to much too soon.

Whatever happened to a candle lit supper, a walk in the moonlight, or just good old honest to goodness foreplay?

SHAME on you. didn't you know it says on page 357, paragraph 3 of the 19th edition of the male sub's handbook that:

"The male shall, upon the first inkling of interest by anything claiming to be female, submit his bank account numbers, SSN, home and work phone numbers, PO box numbers, CC numbers and any other liquid accounts to said 'Domme'."

Male shall then accept said 'cyber collar' and devote what is left of his life to jumping thru hoops in the hopes of meeting this non existent hot chick.



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/23/2011 12:09:33 PM)

I am so sorry I am a crap subbie (hangs head in shame).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

I got asked to wear a collar by a Domme before we had even met. Being aware of the symbolism I declined & ceased all contact. Just a little to much too soon.

Whatever happened to a candle lit supper, a walk in the moonlight, or just good old honest to goodness foreplay?

SHAME on you. didn't you know it says on page 357, paragraph 3 of the 19th edition of the male sub's handbook that:

"The male shall, upon the first inkling of interest by anything claiming to be female, submit his bank account numbers, SSN, home and work phone numbers, PO box numbers, CC numbers and any other liquid accounts to said 'Domme'."

Male shall then accept said 'cyber collar' and devote what is left of his life to jumping thru hoops in the hopes of meeting this non existent hot chick.




LadyPact -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/23/2011 1:04:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanabmrscuck

regardless of how I have felt on the posts here, thanks for the input. The person in question is military and PCSd here after a deployment. Therefore - the moving for career is NOT by his own choice or accord.

Again, thanks for the input. I was disappointed as I should have asked for advice not thoughts on the matter at hand.

Since it got brought back up, the above here doesn't automatically set up a situation where a person can't provide references.  I haven't lived in a military town yet that didn't have a munch group within a reasonable distance.  A person being military themselves doesn't necessarily mean that all of their experiences in kink have been with other members of the military.

Most of the civilian folks who happen to live in towns where there is a military base are used to those of us who are there for two to five years and then we go somewhere else.  Heck, half of the time, those folks who can provide references are ex or retired military themselves.



LPslittleclip -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/26/2011 11:25:49 PM)

the contract is not binding so if that helps you then no problem. meeting for the first time thats a good step to see if they measure up to the online stuff. the 30 day trial well if that is enough time to decide a perfect match ok but it took me much longer with my Mistress to understand the importance of the collar much less accept it. collared for 3 yearn now. it takes some time to get comfortable with any new situation so my imput is to take it slow and have some guidelins for acceptance and develop rules and rituals that will solidify the relationship. learn about each other and how the 2 of you work together there is no one way for the lifestyle and the same for your relationship, so look and listen and find those things that work for your unique dynamic



iwillpamperU -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/27/2011 1:13:12 AM)

This was all a very interesting read.  Lots of passionate people.   If I were asked for "references" on my prior D/s experience, I would have to steer the requestor to my ex-wife and I get the idea I might not get a ringing endorsement.  Does anyone else think the sound of the term "munch" seems really odd and off?  Call me crazy, but I am looking for my future spouse amongst you writers and I won't be munching anything nor providing references to do so.   I like the "unlimited tryout" theory where both partners spend years learning about each other.



myotherself -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/27/2011 2:00:12 AM)

A munch is a regular meeting of kinky folk, usually held in a bar or restaurant...ence the word "munch". Because there are usually 'nilla people also using the establishment the dress code is usually non-kinky/fetish. It's a nice way to meet people without the pressure of protocols, dressing up or risking getting yer ass thrashed [:D]




MistressEsmeUK -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/28/2011 6:26:05 AM)

I am a little late to this however 30 day is far too soon. It does not matter if he has had training from someone else. That other person was not you and he was training to be moulded into what that other person wanted not what you wanted. I have stages before a slaves gets their final collar from me and it takes time. No slave is the same so you can't put a time limit on it either. I guess I am old fashion and feel giving a slave a collar is serious and actually means something rather then a business contract



LadyPact -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (8/28/2011 6:36:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillpamperU

This was all a very interesting read.  Lots of passionate people.   If I were asked for "references" on my prior D/s experience, I would have to steer the requestor to my ex-wife and I get the idea I might not get a ringing endorsement.  Does anyone else think the sound of the term "munch" seems really odd and off?  Call me crazy, but I am looking for my future spouse amongst you writers and I won't be munching anything nor providing references to do so.   I like the "unlimited tryout" theory where both partners spend years learning about each other.

Only if you have an issue with a commonly held definition of the word "munch" in BDSM terms. 

A munch (short for burger munch) is a low-pressure social gathering for people involved in or interested in BDSM, usually at a restaurant. When available, munches often use a private room. In the UK, the venue is usually a pub, and people are free to arrive and leave within the specified hours. The primary purpose is socializing, though some munches also have announcements from local organizations. Munches often help those who are curious about the lifestyle meet others who may be able to help them become more comfortable and better informed. Munches can also be a place to get advice about or pass on anecdotes about BDSM experiences.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (11/6/2011 7:25:30 PM)

All I can say is....not much between this chics ears.

Nice ass (seems to have flowers growing out of her pussy though).



ScotSubC -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (11/8/2011 11:01:37 AM)

If you were vanilla and met a guy you liked would you say 30 days trial period and it's sign a contract or nothing? Meet the guy, see how it goes, take it from there. 

As much as it may be a fantasy for many, cm is not a slave market, it's a place to meet like minded people.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (11/8/2011 1:10:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

All I can say is....not much between this chics ears.

Nice ass (seems to have flowers growing out of her pussy though).




You thread necroing BASTAGE!!! [sm=crop.gif]



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (11/8/2011 2:25:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
My thoughts.... There are a whole lot of "MY" type of words in there.  You seem to have forgotten you are talking of forging a relationship with a person.

My second thought - What's "more than serving" mean?

good luck,
sunshine

My thoughts exactly. There is another person involved in this prospective relationship besides her and his needs and so on need to be considered too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanabmrscuck
My pic is no differnt than many on this site and being a business person, a face picture is out of the question. Really disappointed in all the responses and condescending nature of it all.

True, your pic of your ass is no worse than a lot of ass/genital/tit shots that people use as main profile pics on this site, but I take them no more seriously than I do you when looking at your ass. There are many ways to have a decent picture on your profile without plastering your face all over the net.



thishereboi -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (11/8/2011 2:51:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

I got asked to wear a collar by a Domme before we had even met. Being aware of the symbolism I declined & ceased all contact. Just a little to much too soon.

Whatever happened to a candle lit supper, a walk in the moonlight, or just good old honest to goodness foreplay?


Let me know when you get in the area and I will show you[:D]



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Thoughts on orientation time and contract (11/8/2011 3:11:11 PM)

Sheesh I likes you American Ladies. I want one.
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

I got asked to wear a collar by a Domme before we had even met. Being aware of the symbolism I declined & ceased all contact. Just a little to much too soon.

Whatever happened to a candle lit supper, a walk in the moonlight, or just good old honest to goodness foreplay?


Let me know when you get in the area and I will show you[:D]





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