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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/19/2011 11:24:51 PM

lickenforyou

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Thanks! Not sure who I'm responding to, top or bottom?

< Message edited by lickenforyou -- 8/19/2011 11:30:27 PM >

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/20/2011 7:07:03 AM

stoni23

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[quote ORIGINAL: toserveonlyyou]
If it's not something that you're into, I don't think that you can really understand it on an intellectual level. There are evolutionary triggers for jealousy causing arousal, but cuckolding is more than jealousy. I, personally, get off on the humiliation aspect of cuckolding, as well as the pleasure that my partner is receiving. The fact that my dominant partner cares nothing for my pleasure is immensely arousing (I don't know why). And, nothing is more obviously callous and indifferent to my feelings than her having sex with other men. The fact that they're better endowed than I am is the main factor in my humiliation. I'm powerless in that department, I have what I have. The added humiliation of her telling me how much bigger his dick is, and how much more pleasure she gets from it than mine, is indescribably exquisite. It is the ultimate in giving up one's own power. And, FYI, I enjoy watching and waiting. I don't think that I can make you understand, but I hope this helps.
[/quote]

Yes, and I understand that in a logical sense. But in a practical sense for me, I don't think I can get there. I'd probably feel inadequate and get severely depressed, not aroused by it. I wouldn't feel inadequate about being told he's better then me because I'm a realist and know that I'm not going to be the thing since sliced bread (not saying you feel this way). But, to be told that she'd rather have sex with someone over me, would probably hurt me greatly.

I'm too involved with my D/s partners, and I guess I can't get past the physical/mental bond that's formed with sex (whether it's casual or someone they know). Whether anybody wants to it admit it or not, you will feel strongly towards someone you have sex with; it's simply human nature. I guess poly wouldn't work out for me either huh? : )

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/20/2011 9:54:02 AM

Madame4a

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I think its also, for some, another form of humiliation.. having to watch your dominant partner get pleasure from another... I have little to no actual experience with his.. but from someone I used to play with -- from his perspective, if we even discussed it, he got turned on -- particularly if I tied him up and 'made' him watch and he had no choice. It was even better if I were to say things like.. "you could never get me off like this..." or something similar...

that to me is dicey and I don't do humiliation.. plus I was too lazy to do all the work that I would require to find the right person.. but we did talk about it aat great length.

eta ... I just read the post above mine and see someone covered it...

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/20/2011 10:28:19 AM

HannahLynHeather

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stoni, i get the impression that you don't want to understand it. you want to dis it.

it's not for you, fucking cool, you've said that over and over. you like eating shit and he likes to watch his woman getting fucked by some big dicked bull. he's explained why, others have as well. what the fuck more do you want?

you say you want to know why people do it - read the fucking answers given, it's been laid out several times and that's all there is to it. all the shit you say you don't like about it is exactly what the people into it like about it. got it? it doesn't matter if it works for you, you do shit that make me think you need psychological help, fuck it, its why we're all here - we're all sick little fucks who can't talk openly about what turns us on because it's fucking perverted..

you want them to justify their kink through your filters - well fuck your filters and fuck you.

i really think people who do this, who start these bullshit "help me understand" threads just so they can dis and crap on the kink in question are fucking cowardly little pukes.

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/20/2011 11:21:55 AM

coookie

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I can understand and it is difficult to wrap your head around this concept ... very difficult believe me but when it is part of someone that you love so deeply it seems silly to let your own hangups on it ruin what is otherwise a fantastic relationship. Don't get me wrong, i struggle a lot with this issue but it has become important to me so i look to people that have different perspectives and i take them and at times when i am really low i look them over and try to change my perspective on the situation. That is the hangup is the perspective from which you are seeing the situation.

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/20/2011 1:30:42 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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Ummm... here's your OP...

quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

what's so great about seeing the person you love getting fucked by someone else?

And here's your response...

quote:

ORIGINAL: stoni23

Yes, and I understand that in a logical sense. But in a practical sense for me, I don't think I can get there.

Who gives a shit if it's for you or if you can "get there" -- I don't believe anyone is asking you to, and that wasn't the question asked in your OP?!! You've received answers to your question. Now, if you want to redefine your question because it's something you WANT to be able to engage in, then do so... otherwise, quit interjecting yourself into a quesiton about someone else's sexual interests.

I'm not into the "cuck" thing either, could care less if others are, and to be blunt, wouldn't even bother inquiring about something that holds zero interest for me. I'm sure there are those that like shoving avacodos up their ass too, and I could care less about that too -- that is, unless they offered me some guacamole?!!

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 8/20/2011 1:32:24 PM >

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/21/2011 6:01:32 AM

stoni23

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*ignores negative responses, replies to positive ones*

quote:

I can understand and it is difficult to wrap your head around this concept ... very difficult believe me but when it is part of someone that you love so deeply it seems silly to let your own hangups on it ruin what is otherwise a fantastic relationship. Don't get me wrong, i struggle a lot with this issue but it has become important to me so i look to people that have different perspectives and i take them and at times when i am really low i look them over and try to change my perspective on the situation. That is the hangup is the perspective from which you are seeing the situation.

Yea, like I said before, I probably need to take a look at myself. I probably won't be able to get into the humiliation side of it, but the pleasing my owner through not actually pleasing her side. Will be a big step for me if it comes up. My biggest thing I need to do is toss aside the social unacceptance (yea I know, not a word) that sex is only an intimate act between two partners. Perhaps once I get beyond that built in notion, I can get into cucking.

< Message edited by stoni23 -- 8/21/2011 6:04:08 AM >

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/21/2011 10:37:34 AM

paulmcuk

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Well there's the simple voyeuristic aspect for one thing. I find little in this world more beautiful than a woman truly enjoying intense, passionate sex. And you can't watch if you're the one she's doing it with.

But in the BDSM context, as others have noted, humiliation is the key. Lots of subs (and their Dommes) enjoy humiliation and sexual humiliation can be very potent. Having to watch your partner have sex with someone else, especially if she verbally humiliates you while she does it, is obviously an intense scenario. Historically, cuckolding has been a form of male humiliation in the vanilla world...probably since we came down from the trees. Within a BDSM relationship it can be linked with things like chastity and SPH.

Of course, there are different ways of playing it. For some, it's not about watching at all and the cuckold gets his humiliation from staying at home while his lady goes out and has her fun.

On a basic level I find it a great way to demonstrate the relative status of Domme and sub. It shows that she's the one in control because she can have sex with whoever she wants while you can't. I can't actaully imagine being in a D/s relationship and insisting on monogamy. It my opinion it should be entirely up to her who she has sex with.

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/26/2011 2:04:40 PM

Toucan

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you have to understand that there is different personality types. Some people are just more emotionally immature. I already seen videos of wives who "cuckolded her husband" because he has a kink. You can see the pain in some of their eyes and how over time a piece of them just dies. And usually the sub ends up with buyers remorse. Look up how many relationships/marriages the cuckolding fetish destroyed.

Basically the sub is being both selfish and stupid.

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/26/2011 2:19:27 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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Okay, here is my vast experience: cuckholding only works if the cuck has an emotional reaction (i.e. jealousy). Some (mostly males) seem to like this humiliation. For females, it's something different. I would not call it cuck. It's more a submissive way of sharing in their man's pleasure (for most, YMMV).

Very different to me.

I, personally, can not be cucked. Watching my man fuck another would not humiliate me in any way, on the contrary, it would excite me. Doesn't matter if you are talking my dom or my sub, it's all good to me.

I do have insecurities, same as the next person, they are just not sexual insecurities.

Keep editing for a bad bad comma that needs some discipline.

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 8/26/2011 2:22:24 PM >

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/29/2011 5:19:46 AM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toucan

you have to understand that there is different personality types. Some people are just more emotionally immature. I already seen videos of wives who "cuckolded her husband" because he has a kink. You can see the pain in some of their eyes and how over time a piece of them just dies. And usually the sub ends up with buyers remorse. Look up how many relationships/marriages the cuckolding fetish destroyed.

Basically the sub is being both selfish and stupid.

---
For some used to an "open relationship or swinging", it might work.. For 85-90% of the human species it wouldn't.

That's kind of a limited view, dontcha' think?

Look at how many marriages are destroyed due to physical abuse. The difference is....in some relationships, it's not physical abuse. That physical pain is wanted and talked about and loved and is part of what the couple wants and needs. There's no immaturity there. How is it different for an emotional struggle? Why is it automatically because someone is selfish and stupid? And yes, I agree it probably wouldn't work unless one can handle a poly relationship, even without cuckolding. So? It hardly makes me selfish and immature because I can handle the idea of the man I'm with enjoying another woman and making damn sure I know about it, and what she did better, and where I can improve, and why he liked her. Just like it doesn't make someone else selfish and immature if they can't.

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RE: cuckolding... help me out here - 8/29/2011 1:38:12 PM

g2011

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I understand the act as total submission,but still think I would be pretty uneasy about it.Having said that I also know my weakness's and if a Lady gained my trust ,I am sure she would have no trouble making cuckolding a reality!I wonder would my mindset would be after?Would I feel like I just witnessed someone applying for my place.

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