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What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 4:39:05 AM

Tebo

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I've struggled a little as to where to post this and although you not necessarily be a mistress in order to qualify, it did seem to be the most appropriate venue based on what we have to choose from as far as categories are concerned.

I believe everything can be quantified and/or qualified. After almost 8 yrs of reading, posting and just generally being involved with CM, I would like to think the fog is lifting a little quicker all the time. I sure I've resolved what it means to be a slave, but the dilemma now, how will I know what the perfect or maybe just even appropriate owner for me will sound like.

An owner will not have a shape, size, age or gender. They may not even be singular for that matter, but I think in any context they will have this in common;

A perfect owner will be a person that is or people that are completely comfortable in the frame in which they've set themselves

This definition is conceptual, but it's the best I can come up with for now, so what I'm looking for from the community is what makes you think your a good owner and even if slave, what makes you think you know what a good owner is or maybe you have the perfect owner.

Keep in mind, perfection is a relative term and is subject to compatibility, but I think your opinions will yield a common thread that may be of some benefit.

Post #: 1

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 5:50:15 AM

LadyPact

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Well, can't help ya. I'm far from a perfect owner, perfect woman or anything else.

Just human, and humans aren't perfect.

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Post #: 2

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 6:26:18 AM

Tantriqu

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Nope, not perfect, and being a good owner is not just being comfortable; I'm sure psychopaths are very happy with everything they do.
I would think it's more that a good owner is confident yet keeps striving to be better, and makes their subs feel secure.

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RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 6:28:44 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, can't help ya. I'm far from a perfect owner, perfect woman or anything else.

Just human, and humans aren't perfect.

Without knowing she would, LadyPact already wrote my thoughts.

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Post #: 4

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 6:39:39 AM

FantasyKisses

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Tebo, I think that you are more looking for the 'right' owner, not the 'perfect' owner. Or the 'owner of your dreams', if you follow me. While striving to become better is wonderful and noble, achieving perfection is impossible, be it in our own or in the eyes of someone else. (I guarantee you that a person who swears so and so is perfect will continue to do so even after admitting so and so has flaws that grate on their nerves.) I think that might be the reason the state of Nirvana is known as the state of enlightenment, not perfection.

The words are really important, I think, because you may be setting yourself (and someone else by proxy) up for failure without realizing it as that is a very high standard (not to mention impossible) to try to live up to. Miss LadyPact phrased everything else ...perfectly! lol!

If you are asking about what makes the right owner, well ... That's all on you to answer dear. I know subs that won't serve a nice Dom/me. I don't know how the trust factor works there, but it's their bag, not mine. I won't serve a Dom/me who strikes in anger. And that means with Her/His tongue (beyond reaction, because we are all human) or their hand. Just remember, even Dom/mes are human. They get up and put their pants, skirts, leather chaps, implements of destruction on one leg at a time. Make sure you cut them the slack of humanity.

(in reply to Tebo)

Post #: 5

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 8:07:53 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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~FR~

Nope, that's not a definition of the perfect owner. It's the one that is perfect for you. There are bound to be others who have different criteria and that one may or may not be on the list. Even then, no one is going to live up to all the criteria all the time. As everyone else so far has said, humans are so far from complete perfection we're not even in the same solar system.

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Post #: 6

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 8:09:23 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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No such thing, there's only perfect for that person.

#7

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Post #: 7

Clarity - 8/20/2011 8:18:06 AM

Tebo

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This is what I like about these forums, is that when I write I have a particular perception of how it's going to be interpreted, but unfortunately and not surprisingly, the responses are not what I expect. I do have to agree though with everyone's (those that have responded so far) take on perfection especially as it applies to probably being far to grandiose a prospect.

To qualify, what I mean is that sugar, flour, water, salt and baking soda are the perfect ingredients to bake a cake. They in and of themselves may not be perfect but the probability in the proper proportions should yield a cake, albeit devoid perfection, but at least acceptable.

As an example, one of the ingredients I know shouldn't be in an Owner is copious amounts of debt, up too or maybe even past the point of being manageable. I think logic dictates, if you can't control or have control as much as possible of the world outside slave ownership, how are you possibly going to be to control me.

(in reply to FantasyKisses)

Post #: 8

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 8:40:43 AM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

After almost 8 yrs of reading, posting and just generally being involved with CM

uh, you do realize that over on the left it tells us when you joined and how many posts you've made, right?

and as for what constitutes a perfect owner? me, i'm the perfect owner. just fucking ask heather.

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Post #: 9

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 8:55:27 AM

Tebo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather
uh, you do realize that over on the left it tells us when you joined and how many posts you've made, right?

Yes I do realize this and as some other's have done, I too have had a couple of different profiles more and less elaborate and so on, but never more than one profile at a time. This does taint my credibility, but it is what it is and hindsight affords me the brilliance I wish I would have had at the time.

It's not been until this last 20 months that at times in defiance of all logic stayed with this profile. It may change in whole or in part, but I've come to realize, deleting it all together only to come back a few months later is not particularly logical.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 10

RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 8:57:48 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tebo

To qualify, what I mean is that sugar, flour, water, salt and baking soda are the perfect ingredients to bake a cake. They in and of themselves may not be perfect but the probability in the proper proportions should yield a cake, albeit devoid perfection, but at least acceptable.

But that's a generalization. I make healthy cakes without flour and they are excellent. Some people put eggs in their cakes. Even here, you can't generalize.

In my opinion, by wanting so much to measure and quantify this, you are setting up all kinds of limits and boundaries that will only limit you in the end.

quote:

As an example, one of the ingredients I know shouldn't be in an Owner is copious amounts of debt, up too or maybe even past the point of being manageable. I think logic dictates, if you can't control or have control as much as possible of the world outside slave ownership, how are you possibly going to be to control me.

Everybody has a threshold of what they can handle. This might be yours, but it might not be for others. You absolutely have the right to set criteria for what it is that you want to find in a partner (I know you say owner, but in the end, it's a partner). It is likely that there are criteria that are more common than others, but your criteria might not be the same as another's.

An exercise that it always helpful is to write down on a piece of paper all the things you'd like to have in a partner and all the things you'd like to avoid. Next, the reality check comes in. Sort out all the things you're not willing to compromise on from the things that you are. Then finally, look at the final picture and see if this is realistic to ask of a person, and also realistically within your reach.

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Post #: 11

RE: What constitutes a perfect owner - 8/20/2011 9:07:35 AM

Icarys

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quote:

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FantasyKisses answered it best.

Don't let these forum fuckers get to you Tebo. They are about as deep as a fine layer of scum at times.

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RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 10:42:28 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tebo

To qualify, what I mean is that sugar, flour, water, salt and baking soda are the perfect ingredients to bake a cake.

Unless you're diabetic or hypoglycemic. Then sugar is the worst possible ingredient for a cake. Or, if you have Celiac's Disease, wheat flour or any other type of flour that contains gluten is deadly. Try again.

quote:

As an example, one of the ingredients I know shouldn't be in an Owner is copious amounts of debt,

Complete and utter bollocks. Student loans for medical school would qualify as "copious amounts of debt" but there's no way you can convince me that a doctor wouldn't make a perfect owner for someone. The amount of debt isn't the issue, it's how the debt was generated and what the plan is for repaying it.

quote:

I think logic dictates, if you can't control or have control as much as possible of the world outside slave ownership, how are you possibly going to be to control me.

That may be true for you, but it is not true for everyone. Your posts are just another installment of the "One Twue Way" song and dance. It doesn't fly well here and you're not going to win this debate. You're old enough to have learned better by now.

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Post #: 13

RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 12:43:56 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Have you found this perfect owner? Or are you more interested in creating a fantasy that no one can live up to?

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Post #: 14

RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 1:00:14 PM

MissImmortalPain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tebo

As an example, one of the ingredients I know shouldn't be in an Owner is copious amounts of debt, up too or maybe even past the point of being manageable. I think logic dictates, if you can't control or have control as much as possible of the world outside slave ownership, how are you possibly going to be to control me.

Ok I admit it. I was almost sort of agreeing with you until you got to this. Copious amounts of debit you say? Ok so when what happend to me back in May happend and in less than 24 hours I was wonderfully over 280k in debt I should have done what. Thrown my sub out. Told him I was no longer fit to own him. Sir I feel I must point out to you that from time to time things happen that one can not see coming and that does not give anyone the right to say if the person is worthy, or no longer worthy, of a title that someone decided to hand them.

ETA- You left eggs out of your cake. Keep missing ingredients and your realationships won't rise either.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 8/20/2011 1:06:39 PM >

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RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 1:28:08 PM

Tebo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

Ok I admit it. I was almost sort of agreeing with you until you got to this. Copious amounts of debit you say? Ok so when what happend to me back in May happend and in less than 24 hours I was wonderfully over 280k in debt I should have done what. Thrown my sub out. Told him I was no longer fit to own him. Sir I feel I must point out to you that from time to time things happen that one can not see coming and that does not give anyone the right to say if the person is worthy, or no longer worthy, of a title that someone decided to hand them.

ETA- You left eggs out of your cake. Keep missing ingredients and your realationships won't rise either.

It all becomes a matter of wording. As an example, I put some 21K on my Visa last year and brought it to a zero balance each month as not to pay interest but monopolize on the 1% money back game my bank plays. Manageable debt is a lot different than copious and I guess that wasn't the right word to use. Statistically the average person in Canada spends $1.50 for every dollar they earn and that is the prime recipe for being out of control. Becoming insolvent because you are a victim of circumstance versus it be your natural disposition are near diametrically opposite.

So the point is, if at the onset, you have out of control debt that is a definite indicator, not necessarily a defacto standard.

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Post #: 16

RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 1:49:29 PM

Tebo

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Joined: 1/22/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Have you found this perfect owner? Or are you more interested in creating a fantasy that no one can live up to?

I probably wouldn't know a perfect owner if one jumped on my head and that is the point to this thread. It's not if I'm looking or have found or anything else, it's what CONSTITUES a perfect owner which is probably purely hypothetical. If more were to think of the question objectively and not internalize or take it as a personal affront, then what should emerge is an image of those criteria that denote probability. Maybe Icarys has more a point than I thought.

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Post #: 17

RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 2:06:25 PM

Lockit

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LOL... I love being pond scum that drags men down somehow! And all those lil sucker fish that suck it right on up. rofl

One on one... I bet if some of you guys actually talked to us... didn't put us in some strange position you had to fill and heard us... you might find some real surprises.

Op... and you know the meaning of that.. since you have been here for eight years reading, so that you could learn. You really cannot learn if your mind is filled with protecting yourself to the point of fearing to get involved with someone based on the things you are basing some things on. How about finding someone you like and getting to know them without the preconceived ideas?

Sure it makes sense to think things out and to look at certain things, but if you make no allowance for difference, life happening and many, many things, you may never see or know the wonder of someone that might have a few flaws but are an exceptional person. You could find someone that looks good on paper and find they are very dark and ugly on the inside. Judgment goes two ways, but in my opinion, always ends at a dead end street.

I might like a poor guy that has worked hard and had life happen... but I sure as hell wouldn't like a judgmental man. I get judged all the time and I am glad! Yes.. very glad, because I don't have to put up with anal anything unless its the fun kind. I look bad to a lot of people and for that I am glad too. I don't have to deal with... men that cannot see who I am and only see who they wish I was.

I once had it all... looked damn good on paper. Now I have a Jerry Springer look I am quite proud of. lol Simply because I am not Jerry Springer and those that take a deeper look see that. Those are the free spirits and hearts I am interested in.

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RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 2:08:11 PM

MissImmortalPain

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I don't really think anyone is taking it as a personal affront. I was just trying to point out that sometimes things happen that people have no control over and you need to take those thing into account before you count out someone that could have been very important to your life.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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Post #: 19

RE: Clarity - 8/20/2011 2:41:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Tebo, I do not go through life looking to be offended. S trangers on the internet do not have the ability to offend me, though they might be offensive.

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