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RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 8:22:16 AM   
nevaehangel


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/4/2008
Status: offline 		Well....He doesn't have anything on his profile about me at all....when I ask him he is comes back with with "its not your place to question me" I don't want to question him, Hence why I asked a question here...I have been told by several people that he is being emotionally abusive, but in my mind I see it as I deserve it....I have messed up in the past (never cheated on him) but he feels the need to have access to everything except for my facebook because that has to be kept very tame as most of us do. I just wish things could go back to normal,

< Message edited by nevaehangel -- 9/6/2011 9:19:19 AM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 8:58:20 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		sounds like you don't trust him.

Master says to me all the time it's not my place to question  him and I'm ok with that because usually when I ask why it's just out of curiousity. If he doesn't want to tell me why I just shrug and move on with my life because I trust him and he has good sound reasons.

You on the other hand, it sounds like you need to figure out why you don't trust him. Does he not make sound decisions? Did he hurt you? Or do you have a hard time trusting anyone? You need to figure that out by talking to him one on one as two rational adult people.




_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 9:01:25 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		FR..I have access to mine as well but rarely ever check their profiles..I check when they post the profile and thats it..B

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 12:49:58 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevaehangel

Well....He doesn't have anything on his profile about me at all....when I ask him he is comes back with with "its not your place to question me" I don't want to question him, Hence why I asked a question here...I have been told by several people that he is being emotionally abusive, but in my mind I see it as I deserve it....I have messed up in the past (never cheated on him) but he feels the need to have access to everything except for my facebook because that has to be kept very tame as most of us do. I just wish things could go back to normal,


Ok, so your profile is not visible at all, but he doesn't acknowledge you exist on his? Why not? Oh that's right, you are the slave/sub, so you can't question that.....bullshit!

There are certain things where it doesn't matter if you are top or bottom, you are an idiot if you don't question certain behavior. If you agreed to be in a monogamous relationship and he feels it isn't necessary to acknowledge he is in a relationship, yep, question him. Anyone who wants access to your accounts (CM, bank, whatever) needs to explain why they want passwords, and what the hell the logic is for changing YOUR passwords.

"I feel I deserve..." is standard speak for someone who is being abused. I have no idea how you "messed up," but it doesn't mean that he couldn't go over your accounts with you at random, and in no way does it translate to him having the right to change your passwords or misrepresent himself as you. Think about how you would feel if something happened and he decided to change your passwords, denying you access and then sent out something you find offensive, and he pretended he was you. Honestly, I don't see that as much of a stretch based on the little you have said.

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 12:55:20 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

sounds like you don't trust him.

Master says to me all the time it's not my place to question  him and I'm ok with that because usually when I ask why it's just out of curiousity. If he doesn't want to tell me why I just shrug and move on with my life because I trust him and he has good sound reasons.

You on the other hand, it sounds like you need to figure out why you don't trust him. Does he not make sound decisions? Did he hurt you? Or do you have a hard time trusting anyone? You need to figure that out by talking to him one on one as two rational adult people.




Interesting concept. Of course "rational adults" don't blindly follow someone doing something that they feel uncomfortable with. Rational adults also don't "toy with" others because they find dishonesty amusing. Everyone here may just be faceless words on the internet, but that doesn't give you or your "master" the right to "toy with" them by him pretending to be you, because you both think it is funny.

Of course, you also thought it was appropriate to simply go somewhere else when your cross-dressing or transgendered "friends" were not welcome rather than stand up for what's right. Yet, you regularly talk about your christian beliefs. Being a christian, I have no idea where you found bigotry and dishonesty to be appropriate, but hey, some people show their true colors more in the anonomous nature of the internet.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 2:21:05 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevaehangel

Well....He doesn't have anything on his profile about me at all....when I ask him he is comes back with with "its not your place to question me" I don't want to question him, Hence why I asked a question here...I have been told by several people that he is being emotionally abusive, but in my mind I see it as I deserve it....I have messed up in the past (never cheated on him) but he feels the need to have access to everything except for my facebook because that has to be kept very tame as most of us do. I just wish things could go back to normal,


From where I sit, your version of normal is pretty fucked up. Sounds like both of you have some serious shit you need to deal with and work out. Until you do, and even perhaps after, the relationship is doomed. A relationship needs to be built on a solid foundation if it is to survive. Yours' is shaky at best.

Good luck.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 2:40:43 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds to me as if the OP's SO is having his cake and eating it as well. My late master was tickled to death to put that he had found a sub, as is my sweetie. Most men are thrilled to find a compatible partner, and wouldn't think of keeping it a secret.

In fact, i can't think of a good reason not to celebrate finding a partner by putting it on a profile. I'm sure there are some - i just can't think of one at this minute......

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 4:30:11 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		You are sounding very miserable within your current situation.

What would it take to be happy in this relationship; can you discuss it with him and see if that is even possible?

I do have a serious recommendation: because of somethings written in your journal I really suggest you find a therapist to help you work on stabilising your self. That is not something you should rely on other people for, and it is something that can be learned.

Here is some information on emotional abuse:
http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/abuse/crimsonlordabuse.htm 





_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 6:51:11 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I have been told by several people that he is being emotionally abusive, but in my mind I see it as I deserve it


I read your journal entries and it does sound like you are experiencing emotional abuse. Has anyone mentioned narcissism to you? Does any of this ring a bell?

quote:

He doesn't have anything on his profile about me at all....when I ask him he is comes back with with "its not your place to question me"


He doesn't even have you in his friends list :(


(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 6:56:00 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		HERE4U2SERVE, quite the catch. You are lucky to even be allowed to suck on his schlong.

I truly hope that he finds the sub that his profile says that he is looking for.

I love this fucking place.

_____________________________



(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 7:24:08 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		If you're not happy, leave him him.You need time to regroup and reassess.

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Daddy has access - 9/6/2011 7:27:33 PM   
ummmmNo


Posts: 100
Joined: 11/21/2010
Status: offline 		Get out now! He sounds like an asshole.

Actually, punch him in the balls and then get out.

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Daddy has access - 9/7/2011 10:59:17 AM   
mynxkat


Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline 		Does sound like there are some issues there, OP, and if I were you I'd consider changing ALL of my passwords and keeping them to myself. Maybe even set up a brand new email address to attach to the really important ones like a bank account.

As for me, Master does have access to all of my passwords. I keep a written list of them because sometimes I forget, and Master knows where I keep it in case he ever needs it. Likewise, I have access to most of his passwords (the important ones), for the same reason, in case it's ever needed. Hopefully it won't be.

As far as changing passwords, I can't imagine Master ever changing mine. He might if the necessity arose have me change my own, but to do so himself? In the OP's shoes I'd be flatly demanding explanations, and 'you don't have to right to question Me' would carry about as much water as a cheesecloth bucket.

(in reply to ummmmNo)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Daddy has access - 9/7/2011 9:34:24 PM   
nevaehangel


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/4/2008
Status: offline 		I have tried....He's mad at me for several things....a few of which shouldn't matter as we were split up at the time....but I've learned not to question him....I've learned not to every ask a Dom what his intent is because its not my place....I don't honestly know what to do.....I want to fix it but I don't think I can at times, I feel broken beyond repair, I'm so sorry ya'll I didn't mean to drag anyone down into my lil depression, I just needed to talk and I don't have anyone else to turn to.....

(in reply to mynxkat)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Daddy has access - 9/7/2011 9:50:03 PM   
ummmmNo


Posts: 100
Joined: 11/21/2010
Status: offline 		If he hasn't given you a reason to trust him, then questioning is natural.

I read your journal entries. He's being a dick. If he can't control his anger, he shouldn't be in control of anyone. This includes you.

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Daddy has access - 9/7/2011 10:29:10 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevaehangel
I have tried....He's mad at me for several things....a few of which shouldn't matter as we were split up at the time....but I've learned not to question him....I've learned not to every ask a Dom what his intent is because its not my place....I don't honestly know what to do.....I want to fix it but I don't think I can at times, I feel broken beyond repair, I'm so sorry ya'll I didn't mean to drag anyone down into my lil depression, I just needed to talk and I don't have anyone else to turn to.....

Yes, you're submissive and he's Dominant.  But that doesn't give him the right not to let you express yourself.  I've been through this personally on a few occasions with Dominants and left feeling like damaged goods.  Nothing I did was good enough, no matter how I tried.  I'm not a SAM or a brat, I always obeyed, and it still wasn't good enough.  And I never did question when I should have.

You need to have a time when you can both sit down and you get to ask questions and get honest answers.  I've read your journal entries and they worry me all to hell.  I see myself in you and don't want you to suffer what I have.  I never felt that I was allowed to express myself even though I was told I could.  Liars.  Easy as that.  They wanted what they wanted and didn't care what I thought or felt.  Not a good situation to be in when you suffer from clinicial depression, G.A.D. and undiagnosed bi-polar disorder.

I've been single for a number of years now.  I deserve better than that and until I find someone who respects me for who I am, who wants to help me and build me up instead of tearing me down, then I'd rather be single than with someone who isn't right for me.  It hurts for quite awhile to feel you're responsible, but you're not.  You have to wrap your head around the fact that you just aren't compatible for each other.

Wishing you the best of luck and the will-power to make the decision that you have to make.  My thoughts are certainly with you.  You deserve a peaceful life with someone who understands you and is willing to work with you, not make you feel like every single problem is your fault. 


_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Daddy has access - 9/8/2011 5:18:09 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		At this time, we share a pc, since the man's lap top bit the dust. I cant be bothered to put in passwords each time I log into an account... neither can he. So, we have complete access to each other's accounts.

I never thought about looking into his. He doesnt look into mine that I know about.

I have posted under his account name on the forums here twice.... lol. Not intentionally, and each time I explained to him why. I am careful to log out of collarme and collarchat... but my passowrds are saved.

So, no, its not an issue with us.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Daddy has access - 9/8/2011 5:23:39 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevaehangel

Well....He doesn't have anything on his profile about me at all....when I ask him he is comes back with with "its not your place to question me" I don't want to question him, Hence why I asked a question here...I have been told by several people that he is being emotionally abusive, but in my mind I see it as I deserve it....I have messed up in the past (never cheated on him) but he feels the need to have access to everything except for my facebook because that has to be kept very tame as most of us do. I just wish things could go back to normal,



He is still looking. Good luck with that.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Daddy has access - 9/8/2011 6:35:44 AM   
Aresidora


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/11/2010
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline 		OP - Sounds Like u made Daddy unhappy, and gathering from your journal you know it. He wants complete control over you which is what Daddy likes. Mindfuckery is part of his game, either get used to it or get out, its really that simple. I really do detest it when Doms contact me claiming to be their subs tho- at least some subbies on the prowl for their owners are honest about it (sometimes anyway). I hope you find some inner-peace one way or the other. From personal experience my tortured mind is no where near as fun as my tortured body. I had a Master that knew it, so thats how he punished me, but ultimately thats how punishment works. Be a good girl for your Daddy and maybe you will get rewarded instead.

_____________________________

* Aresidora

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Daddy has access - 9/8/2011 6:39:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nevaehangel

I have tried....He's mad at me for several things....a few of which shouldn't matter as we were split up at the time....but I've learned not to question him....I've learned not to every ask a Dom what his intent is because its not my place....I don't honestly know what to do.....I want to fix it but I don't think I can at times, I feel broken beyond repair, I'm so sorry ya'll I didn't mean to drag anyone down into my lil depression, I just needed to talk and I don't have anyone else to turn to.....


Sounds like you've hooked yourself up with a real douchebag. I've got news for you, the douchebag isn't going to stop being a douchebag. Either you accept him as he is and quit whining about it OR, you get your ass away from said douchebag and take responsibility for yourself.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to nevaehangel)
Profile   Post #: 60
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