Gender Roles

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metamorphic -> Gender Roles (9/3/2011 2:19:19 PM)
It always amazed me how eager some males are to be desired by women. Its a gender role reversal. What do you think drives this behavior? EDITED: no diminutive implied.

Focus50 -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 2:25:14 PM)
The nature of the human species? 'Cause it's not just "some boys" who do it.... Focus.

myotherself -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 2:28:33 PM)
I've never dated a guy who didn't want to be desired by me as much as he desired me.

MissToYouRedux -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 2:44:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: metamorphic It always amazed me how eager some boys (emphasis added) are to be desired by women. Its a gender role reversal. What do you think drives this behavior? Diminutive noted, but inaccurate. Focus and the Cute Bunny both got it right. Who doesn't want to be desired by somebody? ** edited to add caps because I love that avatar. [:)]

LadyPact -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 2:58:19 PM)
It's not a gender role reversal, in My opinion. Why should only one gender enjoy feeling wanted and desired? It is something that not all males get to experience in the same way that women do. Those who know the joys of being ravaged by a partner, being lusted after in a sexual sense, tend to enjoy it. Not all males know what it's like to be craved for over their body. (Either side of the kneel on that one, for what it's worth.) What do I think drives it? Our human nature.

metamorphic -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 3:02:38 PM)
I didn't ask why a guy wants to be desired by a woman. That is indeed human nature (ie., if I like you, I'm going to want you to like me back). I used the plural form, women. So my question is why do some males want to be desired by women in general (ie., by all women). That is a gender role reversal. You need look no further than the mass media. Barbie Dolls and pop artists like Madonna and Lady Gaga. Magazines like Cosmo and TV shows like Sex and the City. Our society has a loose role for women. That role is, again loosely, described as Pin-Up Girl. Yet I've observed some males who want to take that role. They want to be pin-up boys for women. What do you think drives that?

OttersSwim -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 5:10:46 PM)
Two words for you - Justin Beiber Two more - Harrison Ford I could go on and on and on...but I will end with these two words: Sex sells.

SaharahEve -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 6:16:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: metamorphic It always amazed me how eager some males are to be desired by women. Its a gender role reversal. What do you think drives this behavior? Wanting to be attractive is a natural desire for human beings; most of us have this innate penchant to one degree or another. What I suspect you're really touching upon, however, is the tendency for certain males to attempt reversing the sexual politics often finding favor with Women. One might call it "attraction leverage" or "command of pursuit." I suppose in a world in which male and female are considered "equal," it's inevitable that men will want to share in the power feminine sexuality lends Women. It's often a miscalculation to assume male influence will have the same effect on women that female influence has on men. This is because the sexes are generally wired in different ways. Men can be sought after and fiercely pursued by women, but it takes a lot for a man to achieve this. He usually has to be very good looking, have a good personality and display a certain material fitness that proves he's able to provide adequate reproductive resources for us. Women, on the other hand, so long as they are generally attractive, usually just have to show up to be pursued.

PeonForHer -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 6:55:37 PM)
Oh dear, how dismal. For both sexes, but - still - more so for women. (The word 'women' there gets no capital, because - let's face it - it's ludicrous).

metamorphic -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 6:58:47 PM)
@ OttersSwim Hahahaha...... Harrison Ford as a pin-up boy. You either have a great sense of humor, or you just don't get it. And I don't know much about Justin Beiber. I hear his name once in a blue moon (ie., "his this annoying kid who makes me turn off my radio," says a female coworker, "he crashed his ferrari," says a male coworker). But maybe you're right, maybe he is a pin-up boy. So that brings us back to my question: what drives some males to want to be desired by women in general? @SaharahEve I don't know what you mean by "to attempt reversing the sexual politics often finding favor with Women" so I cannot comment on that. What I was really touching upon is not the natural desire to be wanted, sexually or otherwise, by the one you want. It was rather the social marketing of ones self. I brought up the earlier examples of Barbie dolls and Cosmo, and of icons like Madonna and Lady Gaga, as examples of this social marketing. Women are supposed to be wanted by everyone. Its almost expected that if you're attractive by someone's standards and you're a woman, you're attractive by everyone's standards. Men, at least in my generation, are subjectively judged. A woman might find me attractive, and another might not. And I don't really care because the society I grew up didn't really care. Does that make sense? Well, in contrast, I am seeing younger males (hence my earlier post using the word boy, for younger male) behaving more like the females of my generation. If a woman finds them attractive but another doesn't, they take it personal, they strive to make the other one attracted to them too. I am not asking anything about politics or economics or anything like that. Just women's perspective on this from their personal experiences with men.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 9:13:23 PM)
Women are supposed to be wanted by everyone? I sure missed that memo!

LiveByYourNature -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 9:27:20 PM)
Gender role reversal? Since when? I know what they say, that man wants the woman and the woman wants to be wanted by the man, but, that's for the average, run of the mill, situation. Women are less likely to openly lust after a man, just because he has that sort of genitalia, but, there have always been plenty of women who wanted men, in many ways and it is usually more about wanting the actual person that they are. So, it's not role reversal. It's nature.

Lockit -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 9:29:53 PM)
I'm finding this thread and some comments on it rather disturbing. Women are supposed to want to be marketed, wanted by everyone, etc. Have you seen who all is included in that everyone? I wouldn't want to be wanted by everyone... hell, not even by half of everyone. Sex sells... so therefore... women sell? What the fuck have women been striving for all these decades... to be summed up by barbie and other marketable women? Note, there wasn't a brain surgeon or rocket scientist in the mix. Not every woman wants to be a pin up or marketable in a manner that insults women and categorizes them. Any men that wish to go there... deserve their barbie moment I guess... but those that want everyone to want them are friggin insane in my opinion or maybe they are selling something. Because a lot of men put women in a place where they became so called, marketable, doesn't mean that a lot of us liked it or wanted it. Personally I could have lived quite well without it.

metamorphic -> RE: Gender Roles (9/3/2011 10:38:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit I'm finding this thread and some comments on it rather disturbing. Women are supposed to want to be marketed, wanted by everyone, etc. Have you seen who all is included in that everyone? I wouldn't want to be wanted by everyone... hell, not even by half of everyone. Sex sells... so therefore... women sell? What the fuck have women been striving for all these decades... to be summed up by barbie and other marketable women? Note, there wasn't a brain surgeon or rocket scientist in the mix. Not every woman wants to be a pin up or marketable in a manner that insults women and categorizes them. Any men that wish to go there... deserve their barbie moment I guess... but those that want everyone to want them are friggin insane in my opinion or maybe they are selling something. Because a lot of men put women in a place where they became so called, marketable, doesn't mean that a lot of us liked it or wanted it. Personally I could have lived quite well without it. Well that's a different point. You are making the correct distinction (in my opinion) between selling sex and selling an individual. I am not talking about this distinction, nor do I wish to debate it. My point is much more narrow in scope. For better or worse, the majority of spokespeople who sell sex in the media are women. This is a societal reflection of what I have been saying above. If you're an attractive woman, then you are attractive to everyone. That is what, I think, makes media companies choose women more than men when selling sex. It is not because women are themselves sell-able. It is because our society has this narrow notion of "john doe thinks jane is hot, and he wants her, therefore i think jane is hot, and i want her." Monkey see, monkey do, if you will. And maybe this is where I slightly agree with SaharahEve, I don't know. Again, the narrow scope of my point is that mentality does not carry over to men. You don't generally see Jane going "gee, that girl in that corner thinks john doe is hot and wants, now I suddenly think he is hot and want him." But I am seeing younger males (ie., the non-diminutive boys) actively reach out and attempt to recreate that mentality. You see it in Axe commercials for example, or a bodywash or spray or whatever called HotBod. The commercials usually go "girl A doesn't notice boy, girl B smells boy and wants him, now both girl A and B jump on him." I don't know, it just seems weird to me. But this is a good thread. People are seeing all kinds of facets and sides to this dice that I didn't even think about. Very educating...

SaharahEve -> RE: Gender Roles (9/4/2011 12:35:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer Oh dear, how dismal. For both sexes, but - still - more so for women. (The word 'women' there gets no capital, because - let's face it - it's ludicrous). Dismal? Why? It's simply the way things often are with sexual politics surrounding Vaginas. You can choose to accept that having a large dick and a six-pack doesn't lend the same attractive power as set of XX T&A, or not. No worries on my end. Look...I capitalized Vaginas, too. Mwahahahaha.

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Gender Roles (9/4/2011 1:06:00 AM)
quote: It always amazed me how eager some males are to be desired by women. Its a gender role reversal. What do you think drives this behavior? what the fucking fuck!!?? gender role reversal??? what fucking planet are you from? men have always wanted to be desired by women. and what drives it??? are you fucking kidding? they want to get fucked, that's what drives it. sweet mother of christ's unusued little cunt! are you really that stupid or are just just really fucking stoned?

LadyPact -> RE: Gender Roles (9/4/2011 1:17:51 AM)
For what it's worth, not all males have the experience in being desired as females do. It just doesn't happen for them. In this, I'm afraid that I have a rather substantial disconnect. I don't know what that experience is like.

PeonForHer -> RE: Gender Roles (9/4/2011 2:19:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SaharahEve Look...I capitalized Vaginas, too. Mwahahahaha. Well done! [:D]

LiveByYourNature -> RE: Gender Roles (9/4/2011 2:20:25 AM)
quote: You don't generally see Jane going "gee, that girl in that corner thinks john doe is hot and wants, now I suddenly think he is hot and want him." Oh, yes I do! In fact, I noticed some poor guy at the bar where I used to go dancing, one night, who was obviously fresh out of a divorce and hadn't been on the dating scene since the late 70's, who was being made fun of by many pretty little girls who were standing nearby, especially this one girl, who also kept looking over at me, in her "OMG why is a woman who is old enough to buy her own drinks here?" fashion, so I took pity on him, walked over, kissed him, and, suddenly there she was, standing at the bar, looking stunned and nervous, and obviously trying to work up the nerve to let him flirt with her. So, I walked off, walked back, told him I had to do that again, kind of pushed her out of the way and laid one on him and she tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me? I was trying to have a conversation with him!" He said thank you, I left. Women do it all the time. Sometimes women end up being married to a guy that they didn't even want, just because they get carried away with competing with other women, just like some men do about women. Men and women are not that different. They pretty much all like to be noticed, like to be wanted in some fashion from a safe distance, want that special someone to notice them up closer, want to be taken seriously as a person but desirable as a lover. There is no role reversal in a man wanting to be found attractive by a woman. Men have always wanted to be found attractive by women. Not all of them have known how, and, like many women, many men want to be allowed to just be themselves and to be found charming without having to dress up too much or pretending to be something they aren't . .but, it's same shite, different gender, all the way.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Gender Roles (9/4/2011 3:06:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LiveByYourNature quote: You don't generally see Jane going "gee, that girl in that corner thinks john doe is hot and wants, now I suddenly think he is hot and want him." Oh, yes I do! In fact, I noticed some poor guy at the bar where I used to go dancing, one night, who was obviously fresh out of a divorce and hadn't been on the dating scene since the late 70's, who was being made fun of by many pretty little girls who were standing nearby, especially this one girl, who also kept looking over at me, in her "OMG why is a woman who is old enough to buy her own drinks here?" fashion, so I took pity on him, walked over, kissed him, and, suddenly there she was, standing at the bar, looking stunned and nervous, and obviously trying to work up the nerve to let him flirt with her. So, I walked off, walked back, told him I had to do that again, kind of pushed her out of the way and laid one on him and she tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me? I was trying to have a conversation with him!" He said thank you, I left. Women do it all the time. Sometimes women end up being married to a guy that they didn't even want, just because they get carried away with competing with other women, just like some men do about women. Men and women are not that different. They pretty much all like to be noticed, like to be wanted in some fashion from a safe distance, want that special someone to notice them up closer, want to be taken seriously as a person but desirable as a lover. There is no role reversal in a man wanting to be found attractive by a woman. Men have always wanted to be found attractive by women. Not all of them have known how, and, like many women, many men want to be allowed to just be themselves and to be found charming without having to dress up too much or pretending to be something they aren't . .but, it's same shite, different gender, all the way. How was that so obvious? Was he wearing a t-shirt that said "freshly divorced?" [:D]

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