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Hey All - 9/4/2011 1:58:31 PM   
patheticloser87


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		Hi, I'm new to all this guys. Just found the site and I think it's fantastic.

I don't have much to my profile. I just made it up quick so I could garner some interest from some femdoms.

Obviously the next few days are gonna be busy (labor day), but I hope when I come back I'll have some mistresses ready to dominate me!

< Message edited by patheticloser87 -- 9/4/2011 1:59:53 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 2:15:35 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Mr. "New To All This";

Sorry to tell you... you've got it exactly backwards.  For every "mistress ready to dominate you," there are scores, if not hundreds of male subs looking, just as you are.

First off, we've got to get your vocabulary straight:  Domme is the female form of the male Dom.  FemDomme is a pay-for-session.

Any Domme that joins - SHE will have the over-flowing mailbox.

I'd be surprised if you get any - well, outside the scammers and findoms - FINANCIAL doms - both of which are scams - send money for no return.  DO NOT SEND MONEY!

Profiles are NECESSARY - especially for a male, straight, sub.

Now, the "Ladies of CollarMe" very nicely got together and wrote an essay.  It's a sticky thread on the "Ask A Mistress" forum.  YOU must approach the Dommes here, politely and intelligently and .... well, read the stick(ies.)

Hang around, get that profile "up to speed."  Oh, and CHANGE your username!!!

Females here - as around the world - are lookinf for a relationship.  NONE of them are even going to LOOK at pathetic - loser - 87.

Learn what a "munch" is and get some solid knowledge.  Some Dommes like to help beginning subs into the scene.  But, dude, you sound like a LOT of work. Get me?

So, 4 things:

1) CHANGE the USERNAME - no way to do that directly - just start a new one and close this one down.  OR direct people to new with something in your old profile.

2) Read the stickies at "Ask a Mistress"

3) Get thee to a munch - Huh? WTF is a "munch"?  Google:

bdsm munch sterling ny

I just did that and got good results.  munch sterling - not so good.  Sterling is tiny... not even in my atlas, but those four words "worked."

At a munch you will meet REAL folks, most of which can answer your questions and are willing to do so.  We all remember that we started with ZERO knowledge, so most are willing to help the beginner, just as they were helped.

4) Read some books about REAL bdsm - throw away the porn, 'K?   And here's the "book list" you were just going to ask for.... http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm  You were going to ask for it, right?  If not, stop wasting our time and thank you very much...

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/4/2011 2:51:22 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to patheticloser87)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 2:17:24 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		My name is DarkSteven, and I endorse Lance's message.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 2:42:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Running for political office, Steven?  (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Hello "Mr All New To This".  Let Me clue you in on a thing or two.

I agree with Lance fully about changing the screen name.  What does a quality Domme want with a "loser"?  If you're allowing porn to influence you, stop that right now!  It screams "fantasist".

Another tip.  Do you know that a hundred males, just like you, joined this site in the last 24 hours?  If you don't stand out in some way, you're just another one of the heard.  You are no more interesting that the other 99 who joined today.  There will be another hundred that join tomorrow.  If you want to garner interest, then you have to be interesting.  Chicks like Me aren't going to run to your profile because of lacking potentials.

Yes, you are going to be "busy" here.......  For a while.  Your profile is going to be listed as "fresh meat"  In three months, come tell Me again how 'active' your account is and all of the Dommes paying attention to you.  Dominant women aren't hungering for males to come along.  If you don't step it up, you'll be left in the dust.

Welcome to Collar Me.  Your education begins.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 2:49:31 PM   
patheticloser87


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		Thanks for the advice... but did my username really ruffle some feathers or what? I can't help but notice how light the other introduction threads seem to be.

Either way, I am willing to learn.

I think the "new" label on my profile caught some eyes or something and gave me a false impression of how things work here. My bad.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 2:57:01 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Doesn't ruffle My feathers, cupcake.  Next week, when your Intro rolls to the next page, you won't be given a second thought.

Are you really looking at how "light" the other intros seem to be?  Awwww.....  Aren't you cute?

Look at them.  I do mean *really* look.  What do you really see?

Do you see women more welcomed than men?

Do you see how much some folks are laughing at (not with) others?

Do you see how clueless some people really are?

Here's a prediction.

I'll bet in the last five minutes or so, you ran off and looked at My profile.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to patheticloser87)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:01:03 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patheticloser87

Hi, I'm new to all this guys. Just found the site and I think it's fantastic.

I don't have much to my profile. I just made it up quick so I could garner some interest from some femdoms.

Obviously the next few days are gonna be busy (labor day), but I hope when I come back I'll have some mistresses ready to dominate me!


I don't know. I love enthusiasm and optimism, however misplaced.

Welcome to CM

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to patheticloser87)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:01:25 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Why so angry, LP? Geesh. 100 other dommes will join and be forgotten about as well. You post nonstop so you won't be forgotten as quickly. Take it easy on the guy. If you don't care about him, ignore his posts. No need to shred him, is there?

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:04:04 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patheticloser87

Thanks for the advice... but did my username really ruffle some feathers or what? I can't help but notice how light the other introduction threads seem to be.

Either way, I am willing to learn.

I think the "new" label on my profile caught some eyes or something and gave me a false impression of how things work here. My bad.

You're MOST welcome.

Your username did NOT ruffle any feathers.  We are trying to tell you that if you want Dommes to be interested in you, you should have a more positive username.  Terrible choice.  Would you title a resume as "Pathetic Loser"?  Nope.... same.... "sense" of your very first impression. 

Here's MUCH better for you: SterlingSub.  Then in your profile, you start "I live in the tiny town of Sterling, located... blah, blah."  Then you tell why you're in Sterling, and that you are close enough to get to the <insert city here> munches. 

I'm new to all this and am willing to learn.  I'm hoping to find a Domme that wants a ...., ...., .... sub.  I'm very much into service (or not) and would like to meet a woman a little older than I am.  Well, maybe she doesn't have to be older in years, but more experienced so that I can learn what it is to be a sub (or slave or....)

I finished my education in ........ about ...... years / months ago and I  have already gotten a job as an ass't to the director of .... or whatever.  OR My job search takes all my time  OR.....

I really enjoy the mis-named "Chick Flicks"  OR You'll often find me on Saturdays, hking and climbing with my two dogs, Bill and Sam.  They are <insert breed here.>

=======
LORDY, I TOLD you that you were a lot of work. LOL!  P.S.  You're welcome for the username.  Now just PROVE to the interested Domme that you ARE Sterling.


< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/4/2011 3:07:00 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to patheticloser87)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:05:51 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's true, OP, unless you genuinely ARE a pathetic loser, I'd go with a peppier screen name. Your posting is cheery, but if I saw your name in a list, i'd scroll on by.

Have fun!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:07:08 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Angry, luci?  Not at all.

The numbers, however, don't support your claim.  Change your settings and do a search.  How many female Dominants joined this site in the last twenty-four hours?  If you get a hundred, I swear I will bend down and kiss your ass.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:14:29 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		He viewed me! Ten points to LadyPact!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:15:24 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Why so angry, LP? Geesh. 100 other dommes will join and be forgotten about as well. You post nonstop so you won't be forgotten as quickly. Take it easy on the guy. If you don't care about him, ignore his posts. No need to shred him, is there?

luci

Dear, dear luci;

In general LP and I DO care for the newbies.  And it's not all altruism.  The more that come in with a clue (as opposed to clueless), the better for us ALL - including YOU!

Also, telling him that he's backwards will keep him from going off in the wrong direction.  Better to set him straight at the beginning than:

(A) having a whiny post about all the fakes - I think we're up to 48 trillion, 68 billion, 978 million, 234 thousand and 12 of those, but I might have missed some.  :{)

(B) having a train wreck down the road.  Lordy!  That finsub sure did get his advice, but I'm afraid it was WAY too late.  :{(

-----------

And, luci, I really think that calling out LP is a good way to start a flame war.  Please take your own advice and just let her posts go by you. 

-------------
Edited since my 'stache in the smilies was up-side down.  Can't have that, can we? 

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/4/2011 3:24:08 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:17:19 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
He viewed me! Ten points to LadyPact!!

Me, too.  Probably wondering what a 61-year old Gay Dom is doing giving him the inside scoop. LOL!

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:22:52 PM   
patheticloser87


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/4/2011
Status: offline 		i don't get it, i can't be interested in other people's profile without being berated? the first two posters checked out my profile and i didn't give it a second thought.

anyways, everyone have a good day and a good labor day.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:24:49 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Angry, luci?  Not at all.

The numbers, however, don't support your claim.  Change your settings and do a search.  How many female Dominants joined this site in the last twenty-four hours?  If you get a hundred, I swear I will bend down and kiss your ass.


I'm simply not that interested in the stats. My point was that lots of people, sub and dom, join and go unnoticed. I was just surprised at you ripping into him and dismissing him like that. Seemed kinda unnecessary. No ass kissing needed........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:24:50 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patheticloser87

i don't get it, i can't be interested in other people's profile without being berated? the first two posters checked out my profile and i didn't give it a second thought.

anyways, everyone have a good day and a good labor day.

Nope.  NOT berated.  Lighten up just a little, 'K?

We checked you out to see what your profile DID say.  In your OP (original post)  you wrote: "I don't have much to my profile."  To me, that says "Something there, but not much."  LP and I both looked to see if we could help with it.  Lots of subs come on and have ..... weird, un-attractive, whatever profiles.  I'm sure we both looked with the best of intentions.  Yes, LP?

NO BIG THING!
----------------------
edited to make "Little up just a little, 'K?"  be "Lighten up just a little, 'K?"  - LOL!

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 9/4/2011 3:41:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to patheticloser87)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:29:02 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Why so angry, LP? Geesh. 100 other dommes will join and be forgotten about as well. You post nonstop so you won't be forgotten as quickly. Take it easy on the guy. If you don't care about him, ignore his posts. No need to shred him, is there?

luci

Dear, dear luci;

In general LP and I DO care for the newbies.  And it's not all altruism.  The more that come in with a clue (as opposed to clueless), the better for us ALL - including YOU!

Also, telling him that he's backwards will keep him from going off in the wrong direction.  Better to set him straight at the beginning than:

(A) having a whiny post about all the fakes - I think we're up to 48 trillion, 68 billion, 978 million, 234 thousand and 12 of those, but I might have missed some.  :{)

(B) having a train wreck down the road.  Lordy!  That finsub sure did get his advice, but I'm afraid it was WAY too late.  :{(

-----------

And, luci, I really think that calling out LP is a good way to start a flame war.  Please take your own advice and just let her posts go by you. 

-------------
Edited since my 'stache in the smilies was up-side down.  Can't have that, can we? 

Oh Christ, it's not a "flame war." I'm not interested enough in the topic to post more than a simple reply to LP as I did above. I am not a dominant female, I don't keep track of the stats of who joins and who is successful and all that. As I already said, I was just kind of surprised that he got torn a new one over saying the same ole stuff new folks (and not so new) come along and say every day. I don't know him and don't really care what he does. I just cringe when I see someone post for the first time (or few) and get ripped for no good reason. People join everyday and fall by the wayside, so to speak, that's all I was observing. I didn't realize I was going to get torn a new one too for commenting. Flame wars are found here daily, man, for sure, but none here. That takes two and I ain't gonna tango

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:31:47 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patheticloser87

i don't get it, i can't be interested in other people's profile without being berated? the first two posters checked out my profile and i didn't give it a second thought.

anyways, everyone have a good day and a good labor day.


You're not being berated.  I check out posters' profiles all the time - don't think anything of it.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to patheticloser87)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Hey All - 9/4/2011 3:36:24 PM   
hardcybermaster


Posts: 904
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline 		surely he wants to be scene and not heard

quote:

LadyPact
If you don't stand out in some way, you're just another one of the heard


< Message edited by hardcybermaster -- 9/4/2011 3:37:55 PM >

_____________________________

insert something clever or profound that someone else thought of

vanilla burger flipper


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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