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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 5:04:12 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bigladinbrum

I'm a relatively new dom, well very new, and I'm having trouble finding a new sub girl.

My previous sub was my LTR girlfriend and after a long time we split and since then I cannot seem to find a sub.

Any tips from subs? Or dom/dommes?

Find a woman that you feel a connection with, and become the perfect dominant.

***Love the new avatar MSLA!***

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 5:25:02 PM

HisPet21

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quote:

since one can NEVER find perfection...

Why not? Why can't you find perfection?

To the OP, I wouldn't suggest 'settling' for less than the best and then trying to transform an individual into your ideal partner. It simply isn't worth it (Believe me...I've tried). Its unfair to expect someone to change who they are just for you, and even if they agreed to do so, most people don't have the ability to change. Your best bet is to find your ideal partner and to settle for nothing less. Now, in my opinion, one's "perfect" partner may need some improvement. So, what's the difference between an imperfect and a perfect partner? Your perfect partner will value your same ideals and, as a result, they'll be on the road to improving themselves way before you even ask them to or, hell, even meet them. An imperfect partner won't believe that there is room to improve in those areas which matter to you and thus, they will not seek to better themselves.

And now I've gone all preachy...

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 5:30:43 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

Why not? Why can't you find perfection?

Because there's no such thing as perfect? All human beings have faults and quirks. So perfect doesn't exist - only perfect for that person.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 5:31:18 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
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From: Hawai`i
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

wow, seriously? I hope you're joking.

I'm glad I didn't sit around waiting for Mr. Good Enough. I waited around for Mr, Makes My World So Much Better who likes me for me.

For what it's worth, LittleWonder, I actually understand what that poster was alluding to, albeit in a rather BLUNT way. They'd stated:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveByYourNature

Stop looking for perfection. There isn't any. Look for good enough, and, then make it lose weight, train it to act better, etc. That is the point of you being a dominant.

i read this as, "Stop looking for perfection... it doesn't exist. Find someone you're compatible with, and as the Dominant, work on the small stuff together."

I know you'd written you didn't "sit around waiting for Mr. Good Enough", but really... since one can NEVER find perfection, then in actuality, we all select someone that meets most of our wants/needs (i.e., "good enough"), and work through the small stuff. I personally wouldn't have used the words "good enough", but understood what that poster was stating -- said poster can, of course, correct me if they meant something different.

Just so you know, the LiveByYourNature person you were defending is that kinda wacky woman who has 20+ profiles on CollarMe and doesn't seem to have any real life experience, just all online.

Edited to add: Oh, and who moved overnight from Tucson to Chicago. One day she's cooking in her kitchen in Tucson, the next she's in Chicago. Fast move!!

< Message edited by DeviantlyD -- 9/5/2011 5:32:18 PM >

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 6:02:56 PM

poise

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Perhaps she was relocated there by one of her many many slaves?

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 6:23:16 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

Just so you know, the LiveByYourNature person you were defending...

Just so YOU know, I'm not "defending" anyone. My comments pertained to the WORDS, not the person behind them -- be they a fake, flake, or otherwise.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 6:54:45 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

***Love the new avatar MSLA!***

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALS!!!

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 7:03:20 PM

HisPet21

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quote:

Because there's no such thing as perfect? All human beings have faults and quirks. So perfect doesn't exist - only perfect for that person.

That's kinda what I mean by "perfect." Perfection is not an absolute quality, but a subjective one.

And now I'm talking semantics....gah!

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 7:13:00 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LiveByYourNature

Stop looking for perfection. There isn't any. Look for good enough, and, then make it lose weight, train it to act better, etc. That is the point of you being a dominant.

quote:

Not everyone who is submissive is seeking someone to call them "it" or be changed.

Yeah... but some are?!! So what's your fucking point... that YOUR one-twoo-way is the ONLY way?!! You may not like the way that poster phrased their comment with the "it" thing (as well as the "weight" thing), but there was nothing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING written within that poster's comment that directly or indirectly, stated or implied that "everyone" is "seeking someone to call them 'it' or be 'changed'" -- that's just YOU either (i) starting drama for drama's sake, or (ii) thinking YOUR WAY is the one-twoo-way.

Well hint: there are many who seek/desire/enjoy the "it" and "changed" things -- it's merely stated in mushy, pc, bdsm speak for people like you who seem to need the romanticized bdsm syntax of "objectification", "humiliation", "degradation", and "training", "discipline", "guidance" and so forth to somehow make it "acceptable" in your silly little kink circle.

Had that poster actually stated that "everyone" who is of the sub/slave ilk was "seeking" they type of dynamic that they clearly enjoy, then I would be the first to side with your comment -- but they did NOT... so the failing (and assumption of what others are "seeking") is YOURS!!! Grow the hell up and quit attributing your preferences on others. Take notice of how LittleWonder addressed it and learn from her. If that poster's dynamic is not for you, then fine... but again, there was nothing... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in that poster's comment that stated you, anyone, or everyone should subscribe to the dynamic they enjoy, as you falsely alleged.

I wasn't addressing you, but feel free to keep getting hysterical over differing viewpoints.

My statement was my opinion, and I neither attributed my preference to others or made false allegations.

Get the fuck over yourself once and for all.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 8:01:03 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I wasn't addressing you...

No, you weren't... but that doesn't preclude addressing your nonsensical blathering.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 8:02:07 PM

DeviantlyD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

Just so you know, the LiveByYourNature person you were defending...

Just so YOU know, I'm not "defending" anyone. My comments pertained to the WORDS, not the person behind them -- be they a fake, flake, or otherwise.

Oh! I've been told! :D

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 8:09:26 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

Just so you know, the LiveByYourNature person you were defending...

Just so YOU know, I'm not "defending" anyone. My comments pertained to the WORDS, not the person behind them -- be they a fake, flake, or otherwise.

Oh! I've been told! :D

Told what... that particular poster is a fake?!! That may very well be... I dunno... still, it's the words I addressed, not the person. I don't know anyone in these forums, so don't know who's a loopy fuck and who isn't.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 8:29:56 PM

Lockit

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Well that one is a loopy fuck! lol

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 9:25:13 PM

littlewonder

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MSL, being the nut that she is I'm pretty sure she meant what she said in exactly the way it reads and not in the way you interpreted it. After reading most of her posts in her former lives, I have no doubt that she meant it exactly as she wrote it.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 9:41:08 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Well that one is a loopy fuck! lol

tee hee

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 9:43:29 PM

JanahX

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You're looking for the perfect sub? Are you the perfect dom? Never met one of those. Please do tell.

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Post #: 36

RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 9:44:17 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

MSL, being the nut that she is...

(sobs)... evidently I missed the drama behind that poster -- I feel so left out now?!!

Will have to scan through some previous posts now.

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/5/2011 11:34:40 PM

summersub

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Isn't there a saying if you love her let her go, if she comes back she's yours, if she doesn't she never was? Or is that about cats?

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/6/2011 3:10:29 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

MSL, being the nut that she is I'm pretty sure she meant what she said in exactly the way it reads and not in the way you interpreted it. After reading most of her posts in her former lives, I have no doubt that she meant it exactly as she wrote it.

nm misread

< Message edited by zephyroftheNorth -- 9/6/2011 3:12:02 AM >

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RE: How to find the perfect sub? - 9/6/2011 3:13:27 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

quote:

Because there's no such thing as perfect? All human beings have faults and quirks. So perfect doesn't exist - only perfect for that person.

That's kinda what I mean by "perfect." Perfection is not an absolute quality, but a subjective one.

And now I'm talking semantics....gah!

Well...no. There's quite a difference between perfect and perfect for you.

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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