RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant?

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/9/2011 6:33:41 PM

Aileen1968

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I left a trail of breadcrumbs in the form of pictures.
Caught me a big fishy with em.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 9/9/2011 6:56:02 PM

Endivius

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I call bullshit. You fish with dynamite. Look at that smile.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 10/8/2011 8:54:32 PM

Silentrunner26

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Ever try and find a sub who is a sub and not a wana be looking for a sugar daddy ? I would rather live as a monk than be with some of the whinners I have read about . Then again I am half way there . Any way you just have to talk and listen and keep looking for the one you want . If life and love where easy we would not need chat rooms or talk shows .

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 10/9/2011 5:43:11 PM

HoustonMaster47

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Joined: 9/27/2011
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Well, I could say if that's your pic, you've come to the right place sweetheart, message me on CM. Other than that, post a detailed profile and pic on CM and state exactly what you want. You'll still get lots of messages from psychos and wannabe's, but with enough time and patience, you can block most of those and the right guy will stumble across you. Another trick, if in doubt, ask for a reference from a previous sub. If he can't provide one, he's a psycho or a wannabe. Just my opinion.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 10/9/2011 5:53:32 PM

TheFireWithinMe

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Ummm some of us LIKE being beaten. Just sayin'

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 10/9/2011 6:07:55 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PurpleKeys

I that seems like a dumb question but I am trying to find someone and I keep coming across guys that are only looking to beat women, take advatage of them, and abuse them. Where does one go to find a real dom male? Also, I simply cannot call a 21 a master, that is a joke.

It is much harder, being trans. On top of everything the cis have to put up with, you will attract a great many chasers. That appears to be what you are describing in your OP -- men who want an experience, but not a relationship.

The BDSM scene does not tend to be trans-friendly, sometimes not even in areas like SF that are trans-friendly. I would suggest you focus on dating in trans-friendly venues and de-emphasize the kink. CollarMe, in particular, tends to be uber-binary in outlook, on both the profile side and the message boards. I suggest you take the attitude that you are corrupting the vanilla: find someone who likes you for you, and then tell him you will give him the best blowjob of his life if he will spank your ass until you can't sit down.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 10/9/2011 6:18:11 PM

HoustonMaster47

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Joined: 9/27/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheFireWithinMe

Ummm some of us LIKE being beaten. Just sayin'

Fire

Oh sure, and if a girl likes it, she should find someone who will give her what she likes, without killing her of course. I've trained pain sluts who go into a subspace trance when in pain, and the more pain the deeper in they go and the more they love it. Essentially, they have no limit of endurance for pain. Takes a firm hand and lots of control to take them just as far as they can safely go and bring them back undamaged. Is it wrong? Well, if it's difficult to do, no. A man just does his job and moves on. If it's easy to do, you're a psycho. Just my opinion. Don't want to piss off all the psychos out there.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 10/9/2011 9:20:32 PM

bostondom55

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Having been a horny net geek (last week) I suggest you post a pic of fabulous bare boobs (not necessarily yours), and request pictures of erections... Actually, even when I was a beginner, I think I had better grasp of D/s dynamics than the abuse-them types. Verbal control is more effective than physical abusive tactics IMO. Just because a man is a beginner Dom does not mean he is incompetent. Also, some women are really comfortable with S&M and being physically abused, and have humiliation play is okay with them. It's more a matter of finding the right match for You, and being able to discriminate between assholes and the Dom of your dreams - easier said than done, IMO.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/4/2011 2:02:07 PM

daveWSmaster

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Echoing some others, decide what YOU want. Being sub is not just accepting anything - or you will get beaten, used etc. etc.
Then spend some effort on your profile so a dom knows what you are looking for.
Once you have some contacts weed them down to those who may have read the profile, then talk to them.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/4/2011 9:50:14 PM

aromanholiday

Posts: 307
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Grow to understand this principle thoroughly: "If they write, they probably aren't right" and then do what you thread title suggests: go out there and actively find them. Read other dominants' profiles. Read their blogs or what they post in messages. Find the ones that you deeply admire and lust after and approach them first. Not all of them will turn out to be as good as they appear in their words or photos. Not all will want you back. But you only need one (all right, millage varies but most submissives only need one!), and by seeking out the best prospects out there for you rather than fending off the hundreds of bad prospects that approach you, you're greatly increasing your chances of finding someone special. There are some very intelligent, very interesting dominants on this site and on others like it. Almost all of this type that I have encountered do not ever go knocking on a submissive's email door. For one thing, they don't have to. For another, they prefer the girls with the guts (and the humility) to approach them first. So... go get 'em, tiger.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/5/2011 1:05:40 AM

Epytropos

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Ever notice that people who come to complain that they can't find doms always seem to have in common an incredibly specific idea of what a dom is and a blanket contempt for anyone who doesn't fit the profile? Not to mention a sense of pissy entitlement which is pretty much perfectly opposed to anything I would accept in a sub. Seems to me that with the mindset you've built for yourself your odds aren't great, even if you did find a 'real' dom.

ETA: This is obviously to OP not to deOwner. Quickreply strikes again.

< Message edited by Epytropos -- 11/5/2011 1:07:42 AM >

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/5/2011 2:38:00 AM

HannahLynn

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quote:

Meet people (anywhere) and talk to them.

this!

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/5/2011 10:29:48 AM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Epytropos

Ever notice that people who come to complain that they can't find doms always seem to have in common an incredibly specific idea of what a dom is and a blanket contempt for anyone who doesn't fit the profile?

Yup, just like the Doms that come on here complaining that all the subs are fake.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/6/2011 6:55:45 AM

GrandMasterChet

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if ur in my area (CT) hmu...AFTER reading my profile please...there are some of us out here that are not into beating women (or men for that matter). DOM does not indicate anything more than "decision maker - he or she who controls what action is to be taken/done" The name does not automatically mean more than that. It does however relate to your agreed upon parameters. A DOM in vanilla play would not be the same as a DOM in S&M play. And there are lots more relationships that happen. Every DOM can be different. Why do you think you only attract women beater type DOMs? Is it possible you give the impression that is what you want? I didn't c ur old post but I just read ur new one looking for a MOMMY DOMME. It is pretty clear about what you want. All I can add is you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you will find your Prince(ss). Stay happy and say bye (and quickly) to those who don't respect you.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/6/2011 9:55:09 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GrandMasterChet
A DOM in vanilla play would not be the same as a DOM in S&M play.

The OP isn't saying that she doesn't want someone into BDSM, she's saying that she's encountering a lot of "Meet, beat and goodbye" types.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/6/2011 11:04:14 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The BDSM scene does not tend to be trans-friendly, sometimes not even in areas like SF that are trans-friendly.

Speak for yourself. One of the major events in Denver, the R&L parties (so-called because the couple that hosts them have initials R and L) have numerous trans show up. I can think of four MtF transsexuals that regularly attend, as well as two CDs. The Scarlet Moons spanking parties have two regular MtFs attend. There are several trans types in the rest of the scene locally as well. While I have no doubt that they're encountered some discrimination, they are an integral part of the scene.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/19/2011 5:31:50 PM

ResidentSadist

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You'll find a real dominant in isle 12.

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/22/2011 11:39:26 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

You'll find a real dominant in isle 12.

OH... MY... GAWD....

lol

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RE: How does one go about finding a Dominant? - 11/22/2011 11:44:55 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GrandMasterChet

if ur in my area (CT) hmu...AFTER reading my profile please...there are some of us out here that are not into beating women (or men for that matter). DOM does not indicate anything more than "decision maker - he or she who controls what action is to be taken/done" The name does not automatically mean more than that. It does however relate to your agreed upon parameters. A DOM in vanilla play would not be the same as a DOM in S&M play. And there are lots more relationships that happen. Every DOM can be different. Why do you think you only attract women beater type DOMs? Is it possible you give the impression that is what you want? I didn't c ur old post but I just read ur new one looking for a MOMMY DOMME. It is pretty clear about what you want. All I can add is you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you will find your Prince(ss). Stay happy and say bye (and quickly) to those who don't respect you.

So the bit in your profile and journal where you talk about spanking, finding a masochist and your pics of play with that masochist means you're not into beating women or men?

Riiiiiight