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Masterdewolf -> Another discussion (9/8/2011 4:39:01 PM)
Ok here is another topic , Manners , where are they ?? I was watching the tv tonight , and i watched what was now a days called a comedian !! He insulted a few of his guests and then picked on this mans partner , and i started to think if he had insulted someone who was with me , i would get upset and would have had to do something ! So my point is manners where are they , is it ok these days to be disrespectful ? Is it cool not to have manners ? Is it fine to insult people and get away with it ? And where has it all come from ?

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 4:43:15 PM)
Oh fuck off! [8D] I agree, manners seem to have gone the way of the dinosaurs. From shoving people out of the way to well the rudeness here on the boards, people seem to have forgotten basic politeness. Hell, most don't even say thank you when a door is held for them or directions are given.

M4S73R -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 4:52:22 PM)
Sounds like a generational gap. I'll tell you where manners went. They went with with some of the stupid decisions made by our goverment. The day that our country went from a Single income family to a double income family and letting other people raise your children. I think this is why I would want to be in a poly relationship in this day and age. I want children. LOTS of children. more then 6. But i refuse to allow someone else raise my children. The sexual side of a poly relationship means next to nothing to me in comparison to a life where I and my wife(s) raise my children and teach them how to act. I grew up with only me my sister mom and dad. Dad died when i was 15. I know next to nothing about my fathers side of the family (most died when i was real young) and my mothers side i didnt start to get to know till after my dad died. So I want a big family. Not much in this world that i dont want more. (and im 27 may need to get my ass in gear lol)

littlewonder -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 4:54:31 PM)
eerr..he's a comedian. It has nothing to do with manners. When you go to a comedy show you expect that certain entertainers are going to get a joke by teasing audience members. That's the comedy. It's not like they go out there in the real world and do it. If they did they probably would be getting beaten and slapped quite often. When they are on the stage it's a show, an act and those who go to such shows usually expect such shows. If you didn't know this was the type of comedian you would be seeing then that's on you for not knowing anything about the entertainment. This is like someone going to a stripclub and being outraged that there is nudity and flirting with the men.

Kaliko -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 4:55:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Masterdewolf Ok here is another topic , Manners , where are they ?? I was watching the tv tonight , and i watched what was now a days called a comedian !! He insulted a few of his guests and then picked on this mans partner , and i started to think if he had insulted someone who was with me , i would get upset and would have had to do something ! So my point is manners where are they , is it ok these days to be disrespectful ? Is it cool not to have manners ? Is it fine to insult people and get away with it ? And where has it all come from ? Oh, of course it's not okay to be disrespectful. And I don't think many people are all that disrespectful...in real life, anyway. Online may be a different story, and entertainers have long picked on people as a way to get a laugh. I do know a person or two that feels they have to insult others (not online). If someone is doing that, it is due to their own issues that they have to knock someone else down a peg or two. We've all probably been guilty of it at least once in our lives, if not more.

slaveluci -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 4:57:36 PM)
Many, many people still have very nice manners in most situations. On any given day, people smile and speak to me, hold doors open, say "please" and "thank you" and "you're welcome" and "excuse me" and all kinds of other polite things. I don't think society as a whole has lost all its politeness. Comparing these boards to real life is apples and oranges. The cuntish and dickish ways people behave here would get them slapped silly in person. Most of them wouldn't have a shred of the balls it would take to act like such assholes to other people's faces. So, they do it here to get that part of themselves out there, I suppose. Thinking that the behavior here is representative of what real life people actually do is very much in error, methinks. Other than in traffic...where again, there is a remove as people are locked safely up in their little boxes and not exactly up close and personal with others....I find most people on most days to be very tolerable and mostly very polite. Maybe it's a Southern thang[;)] luci

DesFIP -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 5:06:46 PM)
Henny Youngman used to get laughs by disrespecting his wife. Is that preferable? His marriage survived because she never watched his performances. With that said, there was a comedian in the Edwardian Era who said something to the effect that you can be funny or you can be vulgar but it's extremely difficult to do both. Some other comedian simply said on his deathbed that dying was easy, comedy is hard.

Muttling -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 5:12:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Masterdewolf Ok here is another topic , Manners , where are they ?? I was watching the tv tonight , and i watched what was now a days called a comedian !! He insulted a few of his guests and then picked on this mans partner , and i started to think if he had insulted someone who was with me , i would get upset and would have had to do something ! So my point is manners where are they , is it ok these days to be disrespectful ? Is it cool not to have manners ? Is it fine to insult people and get away with it ? And where has it all come from ? I guess George Carlin was just way before his time when he was wildly popular in the 60's and arrested for his stand up.

Hisfreedom -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 6:14:33 PM)
Personally I have my theory on this whole thing, and my own stand is that I am saddened by the lack of manners in the world these days and saddened even further by the absolute shock that people seem to show when someone else does use manners, as if they aren't accustomed to it at all and are grateful that someone actually showed them. That all being said, my personal feeling has to do with technology, self absorption and no personal responsibility/accountability. Technology allows people to say things that might not say face to face, and to get very used to that and it ultimately begins to carry out in the real world.Text messaging has made communication dumber and dumber and kids (and adults) are forgetting how to carry on real discussions with actual people.Everything is getting automated "Press 9 to wipe your ass" buttons and all the rest (Hell there are even companies that charge extra to deal with a person) Thus, when it comes time to actually interact with humans people are forgetting how. People are also so into themselves, where they have to be, what they have to do that their inability to interact with humans in the flesh coupled with their lack of concern for anyone other than themselves has added to it. So many people will cut in front of other people in stores, parkinglots, on the road etc. Do they really need to be someplace THAT fast? Maybe. A lot of them don't I bet. I know I check myself regularly, asking myself if it's really all that important to not allow the person to get in front of me (and NOT in a submissive way, just in a mannerly kind of way) The self-centeredness stems in large part to people not taking personal responsibility/accountability for their own actions. Too quickly they blame everyone else but themselves for things. Parents do it to their children (trying to do it FOR them) all the time by blaming teachers other kids etc on why their little angel can't do XY or Z. These technologically advanced, lack of human touch and connection kids grow up into the selfish people who don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. So, anyway, that is my theory (can ya' tell I've given it thought before) Just my 2 cents (okay maybe more, I'm feeling generous [;)] ) ~freedom

LaTigresse -> RE: Another discussion (9/8/2011 7:39:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder eerr..he's a comedian. It has nothing to do with manners. When you go to a comedy show you expect that certain entertainers are going to get a joke by teasing audience members. That's the comedy. It's not like they go out there in the real world and do it. If they did they probably would be getting beaten and slapped quite often. When they are on the stage it's a show, an act and those who go to such shows usually expect such shows. If you didn't know this was the type of comedian you would be seeing then that's on you for not knowing anything about the entertainment. This is like someone going to a stripclub and being outraged that there is nudity and flirting with the men. This. If you are offended by a specific entertainer's style.......then you have the grand option of not attending. Has nothing at all to do with manners. Manners are entirely different and yes, they are sorely lacking today. My bosses wife hasn't got manner one. In my opinion it reflects on the way she was raised, the fact that she is completely self absorbed, and rather stupid. I raised my kids differently and they damned well better raise my grandchildren to have manners.

Mr4sg -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 3:47:45 AM)
Manners are kept by people because transgressions are punished. For instance by social inacceptance. As long as transgressions are not followed up on manners degrade. If someone says or acts in a way I deem a lack of manners, I will address that person and state that what was said or done lowers them in my standing. By giving feedback a person gains the option to either take up and improve themselves or consciously ignore it. Im curious as to what you all do when confronted to bad manners.

crazyml -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 3:58:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Masterdewolf Ok here is another topic , Manners , where are they ?? In my experience, they're alive and well. Some people have them (and benefit as a result) some people lack them (and lose out as a result). quote: I was watching the tv tonight , and i watched what was now a days called a comedian !! He insulted a few of his guests and then picked on this mans partner , and i started to think if he had insulted someone who was with me , i would get upset and would have had to do something ! Stand-up comedy has always involved incorporating the audience into the act. If you're going to a night of stand-up, make sure you don't sit near the front if you think being teased will offend you (Some venues actually make this clear when you buy tickets). From my own experience, I've seen people lose their tempers when picked on (or when a friend is picked on) and it doesn't usually go well for them - The last time I saw someone "do something" the entire audience started booing him till he sat back down and let the act carry on. I'd argue that "good manners" would require you to embrace the normal values/expectations of the environment you're in - So getting pissy about being teased by a comic would be very poor form in my book. I'd also say that I've experienced plenty of cases where the comic has bought his/her "victim" a drink in the interval for being such good sports. quote: So my point is manners where are they , is it ok these days to be disrespectful ? Is it cool not to have manners ? Is it fine to insult people and get away with it ? And where has it all come from ? I agree, in principle, that fewer people exhibit good manners, but I don't think they're gone by any means. Of course it's not ok to be disrespectful as a general rule, but it really does depend on the context. Some people, doubtless, think it's cool not to have manners and that it's ok to insult people - and I feel a little sorry for them, because if they just had enough wisdom to realise it they'd understand that manners and respect get a better outcome (generally) than poor manners and a lack of respect.

crazyml -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 4:02:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mr4sg Im curious as to what you all do when confronted to bad manners. I guess it depends on how bad the bad manners are. If someone was offensive it's likely that I'd raise the issue with them. If someone is just oafish then even though I might try to be as polite and helpful with them as I would with anyone else - they're just not going to get the best out of me. I see it all the time at airport check-in counters. The jackass who demands and upgrade or shouts about wanting to take an earlier flight may get what he or she wants from time to time, but I definitely have much better results by being nice to the person who may well have the ability to override the system...

littlewonder -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:31:59 AM)
quote: Im curious as to what you all do when confronted to bad manners. I either walk away or ignore them and try to interact with them as little as possible in the future.

IrishMist -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:35:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Masterdewolf Ok here is another topic , Manners , where are they ?? I was watching the tv tonight , and i watched what was now a days called a comedian !! He insulted a few of his guests and then picked on this mans partner , and i started to think if he had insulted someone who was with me , i would get upset and would have had to do something ! So my point is manners where are they , is it ok these days to be disrespectful ? Is it cool not to have manners ? Is it fine to insult people and get away with it ? And where has it all come from ? Manners, or what a person perceives as manners, are a personal POV. For me, manners are nothing more than saying please/thankyou, showing respect to my elders ( and respect is subjective also ) and my children; and having the same shown to me. In your example above, I would find nothing wrong with the comedian. I might find his humor to be in poor taste, yet, that does not show a lack of manners. As for the insulting people part; you have to remember. Just because YOU found him to be insulting, does not mean that the person(s) his humor was aimed at found it insulting. Once again, the definition of insulting is subjective.

LaTigresse -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:38:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: Im curious as to what you all do when confronted to bad manners. I either walk away or ignore them and try to interact with them as little as possible in the future. Usually this. However, if it is a person I am forced to be around and their behaviour is making other people uncomfortable in some way, I find a way to show them the error of their ways. I have been known to apologize to a waitress for the horrible way in which a dining partner treated her and her co-worker while giving them a huge tip........in front of the offending party. I think they got the point.

UberBrat -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:39:16 AM)
Sorry, I've not read this whole thread, only the first post. The guy is a comedian - he's making jokes at the expense of some of the members in the audience because that's his job - to make people laugh. I'm sure those people probably also found it funny. And, if not - they need to learn to take themselves less seriously!

littlewonder -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:41:47 AM)
My mother is the epitome of bad manners and cluelessness. I've done what you do LaTigresse. It just flies right over my mother's head so I simply do not take her anywhere anymore. Unfortunately my experience with those with bad manners is usually the same...they just don't even see their bad manners, don't understand why you would apologize for them, etc...I've learned to just simply walk away from the table when it happens now, shaking my head.

LaTigresse -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:55:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder My mother is the epitome of bad manners and cluelessness. I've done what you do LaTigresse. It just flies right over my mother's head so I simply do not take her anywhere anymore. Unfortunately my experience with those with bad manners is usually the same...they just don't even see their bad manners, don't understand why you would apologize for them, etc...I've learned to just simply walk away from the table when it happens now, shaking my head. Yeah, knowing the stupid twat that I was dealing with, I doubt it made any difference either. I did it more for the servers than anything else. Their job isn't always easy and they deserve to know that their effort, especially when dealing with a large group and a rude twat, is appreciated.

anniezz338 -> RE: Another discussion (9/9/2011 11:57:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hisfreedom Personally I have my theory on this whole thing, and my own stand is that I am saddened by the lack of manners in the world these days and saddened even further by the absolute shock that people seem to show when someone else does use manners, as if they aren't accustomed to it at all and are grateful that someone actually showed them. That all being said, my personal feeling has to do with technology, self absorption and no personal responsibility/accountability. Technology allows people to say things that might not say face to face, and to get very used to that and it ultimately begins to carry out in the real world.Text messaging has made communication dumber and dumber and kids (and adults) are forgetting how to carry on real discussions with actual people.Everything is getting automated "Press 9 to wipe your ass" buttons and all the rest (Hell there are even companies that charge extra to deal with a person) Thus, when it comes time to actually interact with humans people are forgetting how. People are also so into themselves, where they have to be, what they have to do that their inability to interact with humans in the flesh coupled with their lack of concern for anyone other than themselves has added to it. So many people will cut in front of other people in stores, parkinglots, on the road etc. Do they really need to be someplace THAT fast? Maybe. A lot of them don't I bet. I know I check myself regularly, asking myself if it's really all that important to not allow the person to get in front of me (and NOT in a submissive way, just in a mannerly kind of way) The self-centeredness stems in large part to people not taking personal responsibility/accountability for their own actions. Too quickly they blame everyone else but themselves for things. Parents do it to their children (trying to do it FOR them) all the time by blaming teachers other kids etc on why their little angel can't do XY or Z. These technologically advanced, lack of human touch and connection kids grow up into the selfish people who don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. So, anyway, that is my theory (can ya' tell I've given it thought before) Just my 2 cents (okay maybe more, I'm feeling generous [;)] ) ~freedom I like this whole thing. I sometimes wonder if it is a generational issue.

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