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Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:05:28 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		This was brought up at a discussion group last month. Seemed like a touchy subject lol.

Is it important to you, no matter which side of the kneel you're on? S-types, do you hold back telling your fantasies because of what ever reasons? Any good examples of personal experiences with this issue? Could it be a deal breaker, even if all the other stars line up?

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:14:12 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		Yes, I would tell him! Absolutely! And he would choose to do it, or to not do it.

I have a lot of great examples. There was the one where I told him I wanted to _____ a _____ from his ________. And there was the time I told him I wanted to __________ his _________ every time he ________. And how about when he, to my delight, allowed me to ________ _________ with his _________ in my ________.

Oh yes. Good times.






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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:19:07 PM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		OOOOO  A mad lib ID like to use the following words, Cunt, fuck, ass, cock, finger,plastic bottle, box fan.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:20:38 PM   
TheDarkSaint


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/20/2011
Status: offline 		I feel it's important to know what My Girl fantasizes about.

Though it's a very difficult line to walk. The picture in ones head is a hard thing to live up to.

But every once in a while, YOU can become the NEW fantasy.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:26:38 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

S-types, do you hold back telling your fantasies because of what ever reasons? Any good examples of personal experiences with this issue?

I have always held something back from partners in the past but not with Master. He is the first one I've ever been able to tell my deepest, darkest fantasies to - even the ones I should probably be ashamed of or embarrassed about (according to the world at large). I was blushing and looking away as I told Him and He didn't bat an eye. He thought they were interesting and pretty hot Himself and I've never regretted opening up to Him. And why would I with such acceptance and no negative judgmentalism or condemnation from Him no matter what I revealed?
luci

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:28:50 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		That was one of the hardest things fopr me to do with my * Ma`am* at the time, sharing my fantasies...I had a choice to be obedient when we talked or not be...and she scared the piss outta me so...honesty was the route I chose....did she fulfill some in time...oh hell yes <eg> as I did some of hers...

There was fear of rejection...shame...guilt, etc...

But for once I took a risk and spewed them out...and for once in my life I became a free man in that area.

I ALWAYS encourage the one I am with to take the same risk and speak up, I am NOT a mind reader...let me into those *rooms*, if you wont let me in, open the door a little and tell me whats going on...Some rooms...well the doors need to be SMASHED in...tsk tsk

Ahhh, thats the beauty of deep trust and unconditional love.

Does THAT mean the fantasies are going to happen...who knows <eg>

Some for sure...some you dont even want to know -L-

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:34:49 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		I've been in mostly vanilla relationships but with the one that did last quite some time and explored this side of the coast I found that when she would present to me these ideas that they obviously meant a lot to her seeing as how it wasn't everyday your partner asks for you to do something BDSM-related such as tie her to her bed and have your way with.  We both were very high on, "the thrill of being caught" and would do our intimate acts in situations where we could easily have been walked in on. 

Fulfilling fantasies is important to a relationship, I find.  It gives trust in the first place to even relay this and that is a big deal-breaker in anything built to last.  Not only that, but it really enhances the bond two people can share and introduces another dynamic to their relationship that maybe friends of theirs don't have/lack.  When you look at how spur-of-the-moment most people are today with their relationships, it pays to have that extra edge of offering them an unforgettable experience they wouldn't likely find elsewhere but with you.

That is all.


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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:41:44 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I tell Hanners all my fantasies, it wasn't that hard at first because they were very tame, and now? Well what's to hide? We've had our tongues up each other's butts and peed in each other's mouth. That sort of makes being shy about a fantasy a little silly.

With S & C, well not at first, I didn't want to scare them off, but now, well they are usually in bed with us when I am telling Hanners so yeah, they hear them too.

The ones they find hot we may do <assuming they can be arranged - some can't>, and some of the others we do as well, just because I want to do them.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:47:30 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		i told Him, but He had to drag it out of me. i think it meant more to Him than it did to me for me to tell Him. But i was glad He cared enough to ask. We did one the other night.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 9/8/2011 8:49:12 PM >

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:47:43 PM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		I have found that some of my partners are very open about it and express it freely. Others tend to be more shy about it. As a Dom I know she has fantasies, we all do. Make sure shes aware that you know and instruct her how you want her to proceed in letting you know what they are. Give you sub guidelines on how to tell you things/communicate her fantasies. 

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:49:15 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I want to hear everything, because I want to know him. Some things happen, others don't.
Some fantasies really should stay that way, it can be impossible to make reality live up to that well wanked path, but enhancements? Always something to ponder.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:53:01 PM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		And some fantasys are either really hard to pull off, or very exspensive. I have a long standing fantasy to fuck at 1500 feet in the air.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 8:59:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Exactly 1500 feet? Like, suspended from a helicopter, or tethered under a bridge? I am intrigued.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:03:36 PM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		Skydiving. I have 8 freefall jumps under my belt and 5 staticline jumps. 

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We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.
~Friedrich Nietzsche


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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:05:57 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		But you would be falling through, with that gravity and wind stuff fighting you...

Okay FINE I am going to be working on that visual all night.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:10:28 PM   
M4S73R


Posts: 232
Joined: 9/5/2011
Status: offline 		It would have to be a Tandem jump one persone with a harness one with a parachute locking you together. But id really like to do this in southern Mexico.

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We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.
~Friedrich Nietzsche


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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:15:32 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		We are pretty open about most things in our relationship, and when it comes to fantasy talk, I allways enjoy what the girls come up with, but it was not allways this way. When we first started out, getting the ladies to open up about thier deepest fantasies was more difficult than I thought it would be. I figured if I asked they would tell me, but I had the sense they were holding back. It took a little ingenuity, and this is how I worked it out :

I had a hat that sat on a barstool, when they had a fantasy they put it on one of thier notecards and droped it in the hat, every couple of days I pull one out and if I felt like doing it. I did. If not, I grab another card or just wait another day or two. Since they have distinctly different hand writting, it was easy to tell who's fantasy was who's.

After a few fantasy nights, I'd ask them what they enjoyed the most. Some were fairly tame and ordinary, some were amazingly hot, others were hard limits and were passed over. This allowed them to really open up about thier fantasy play, and after a couple of weeks, I didn't have to use a hat anymore. They were no longer worried about feeling shamed, and the ones that were passed over were discussed privately. This got the ball rolling since the girls really came to realize they had similiar fantasies, and playing together became a regular occurence. Now the two of them are like schemers, they try to come up with the most amazing things.

I love fullfilling thier fantasies, but on my terms. I choose what and when, and it's like a surprise for them when we do one. The best part is, many of thier fantasies are very similiar to my own. Wich surprised me, at first. I love kinky women!

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Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:16:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		The tandem part is a given...but the clothings? The movements? Harness adjustments? I am not seeing this as being satisfactory for the woman.

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:29:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't have any fantasies so there's nothing to hold back.

However, anytime I have something I want to tell him he wants to know....be it a fantasy or something else. It's up to him to decide what to do with the information I give him.

Sometimes I get things I desire and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes they're important to him and sometimes they're not.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Fulfilling submissives fantasies - 9/8/2011 9:55:07 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci


I have always held something back from partners in the past but not with Master. He is the first one I've ever been able to tell my deepest, darkest fantasies to - even the ones I should probably be ashamed of or embarrassed about (according to the world at large). I was blushing and looking away as I told Him and He didn't bat an eye. He thought they were interesting and pretty hot Himself and I've never regretted opening up to Him. And why would I with such acceptance and no negative judgmentalism or condemnation from Him no matter what I revealed?
luci


I found this to be true when i fessed up to a fantasy. The trust factor multiplied and doubled. it was a heart pounding moment and he felt the same way your guy did :)

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

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