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ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I've been in mostly vanilla relationships but with the one that did last quite some time and explored this side of the coast I found that when she would present to me these ideas that they obviously meant a lot to her seeing as how it wasn't everyday your partner asks for you to do something BDSM-related such as tie her to her bed and have your way with.  We both were very high on, "the thrill of being caught" and would do our intimate acts in situations where we could easily have been walked in on. 

Fulfilling fantasies is important to a relationship, I find.  It gives trust in the first place to even relay this and that is a big deal-breaker in anything built to last.  Not only that, but it really enhances the bond two people can share and introduces another dynamic to their relationship that maybe friends of theirs don't have/lack.  When you look at how spur-of-the-moment most people are today with their relationships, it pays to have that extra edge of offering them an unforgettable experience they wouldn't likely find elsewhere but with you.

That is all.

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ORIGINAL: Endivius

, when they had a fantasy they put it on one of thier notecards and droped it in the hat, every couple of days I pull one out and if I felt like doing it. I did. If not, I grab another card or just wait another day or two.

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ORIGINAL: anniezz338

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ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I've been in mostly vanilla relationships but with the one that did last quite some time and explored this side of the coast I found that when she would present to me these ideas that they obviously meant a lot to her seeing as how it wasn't everyday your partner asks for you to do something BDSM-related such as tie her to her bed and have your way with.  We both were very high on, "the thrill of being caught" and would do our intimate acts in situations where we could easily have been walked in on. 

Fulfilling fantasies is important to a relationship, I find.  It gives trust in the first place to even relay this and that is a big deal-breaker in anything built to last.  Not only that, but it really enhances the bond two people can share and introduces another dynamic to their relationship that maybe friends of theirs don't have/lack.  When you look at how spur-of-the-moment most people are today with their relationships, it pays to have that extra edge of offering them an unforgettable experience they wouldn't likely find elsewhere but with you.

That is all.

The bond went thru the roof. His delight of me telling him and my vulnerability .... it formed a bond i have with no one else....because no one else knows. Pretty cool :)

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This is actually one of the few tasks that I ever had to tell clip to do over.  When he was deployed, one of the things that used to help keep him actually centered when he needed those necessary breaks from being caught up in all of the things that were going on around him were thoughts of his life back in the States.  Since he is *very* service focused, this was really a challenge for him.  Long story short, once I did get him to give Me the kind of detail that I wanted, it was something that came to be very effective and served it's purpose.

As to the granting of fantasies, I think if you're inclined to do so, it should be because it's something you want to do, rather than something that is required. Dominant's have their hard limits, too, so if it's something crossing those lines, My answer would be no. If it's something that I'm willing to do, I'll consider it and do it in My own time.

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However, to play Devil's advocate, it should be noted that by exposing your vulnerability to someone you are left much more prone to crashing harder should the relationship not work out.

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ORIGINAL: Awareness

Discovering her fantasies is a consequence of getting inside her head.  If you're dominant and not getting inside your sub's head, then there's something missing.

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ORIGINAL: anniezz338

This was brought up at a discussion group last month. Seemed like a touchy subject lol.

Is it important to you, no matter which side of the kneel you're on? S-types, do you hold back telling your fantasies because of what ever reasons? Any good examples of personal experiences with this issue? Could it be a deal breaker, even if all the other stars line up?

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ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
However, to play Devil's advocate, it should be noted that by exposing your vulnerability to someone you are left much more prone to crashing harder should the relationship not work out. 

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

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However, to play Devil's advocate, it should be noted that by exposing your vulnerability to someone you are left much more prone to crashing harder should the relationship not work out.

It's true that the higher you fly the further you fall, but so what, the flight is the thing. Love with abandon, love freely and wildly, and love fiercely with all you have in you to love with. Hold nothing back, that is my approach to love.