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ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Hit and Miss (9/14/2011 5:30:38 AM)
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I'd really love to give the OP the benefit of the doubt, humans are all different, and sure it's possible that flogging the spine can be very painful (and even damaging) for some.
As has been mentioned, the OP should have spoken up. But then the OP should have done all kinds of things he neglected to do.
He could have/should have:
Learned the experience level of his dominant before agreeing to what I assume was a public flogging session with him bound to a cross.
Made sure he was clear about his safeword.
Properly negotiated the flogging session so he knew what to expect and exactly what to do if he was distressed.
Established a relationship based on mutual trust and respect with the person he refers to in his OP as "his dominant" which would ensure the person checked in with him often and gave him sufficient aftercare.
Although the OP claims the person as his dominant, in my mind he was topped by a virtual stranger every bit as incompetent as he was.
Here's a tip for new subs and first time sceners: Your top/dominant is supposed to show they care for you BEFORE they bind you to a cross. This means proper negotiation of the scene for public sessions. I would most strongly suggest you not allow someone to do anything with you unless and until you see them in action and know they are competent. Talk to people, watch and observe, and don't agree to session with the first person who offers.
(I am assuming all this took place at a public play party.)
If this took place with a person the OP was actually trying to establish a relationship with, all I can say is the two of you are made for each other, you both suck at the rudiments of communication.
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