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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/12/2011 9:31:52 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Buzzzz

references, references, references. Safe call, have a friend go with you.

WTF over???? So who do you call his pastor oh I know better yet call the cops and see if he is a felon. Oh wait I have an idea call his ex I sure she will give a stellar review. You could call his employer. GET REAL like someone is going to give you a reference that will speak poorly of them.

Uh I submit you do it the old fashion way, you get to know them.

BadOne

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 12:39:11 AM

Mr4sg

Posts: 99
Joined: 9/2/2011
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References. Well at least that got me a smile.

I agree with the sailingbum: try dating.

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 2:02:19 AM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Get references.....and not just from others in the life, get some nilla ones too. You don't have to tell them what its about, just checking out the kind of person he is. I make all my girls do that. I also require them to have someone at home that has my name and address and that is expecting regular calls. Comming to your home isn;t the best thing either.

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 3:59:43 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: substirlingguy

I have had several message exchanges with a Master who is very interested in training me.
I have told Him I have mainly been in spanking scenes but wish to expand my limits.
He seems to be genuine enough not like many others who just get their kicks ordering you around on cam.
He wants to come to my house.
It is very isolated.
At the moment i only know Him through his profile on here.
What precautions should I take and how do I establish he is a sane person who understands a Dom - sub relationship?

Have you talked to him on the phone?

Talking on the phone is a great way to get to know someone. You get the sound and inflection of their voice, which gives you many more nonverbal clues as to who they are as opposed to strictly online text exchanges.

Have you voiced your concerns about the first meeting?

Relationship success requires communication. All relationships.

Are you planning to play at the first meeting?

This is a big red flag to me. The first meeting should be a getting to know meeting to see if you have chemistry and think you can go further. Now, if you want to follow that up five minutes later with a light play session, well, that's up to you. But to plan on playing with someone you don't know?

No fucking way.

You need to tell him you are not comfortable with a first meet at your house. His response to this should tell you a great deal. If he really wants to establish trust with you (which should be his primary goal at this point), he should want you to feel comfortable and safe when meeting.

If he pushes you at this point, he's someone who will consistently push you and not care about how you feel. Toss him to the curb.

JMO, YMMV

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 5:16:25 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Thanks to Cynthia for specifying what I was going to say: not only should you NOT MEET at your home, he shouldnt even have your address until and unless YOU feel comfortable inviting him there.

References are all well and good, but if he's supplying them, how do you know he hasnt coached folks in what to say if someone calls and asks? If you do not personally know and trust the person giving the reference... ::shrug::

just sayin'.

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 5:20:37 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Thanks to Cynthia for specifying what I was going to say: not only should you NOT MEET at your home, he shouldnt even have your address until and unless YOU feel comfortable inviting him there.

References are all well and good, but if he's supplying them, how do you know he hasnt coached folks in what to say if someone calls and asks? If you do not personally know and trust the person giving the reference... ::shrug::

just sayin'.

Excellent point.

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 5:44:14 AM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: substirlingguy

I have had several message exchanges with a Master who is very interested in training me.
I have told Him I have mainly been in spanking scenes but wish to expand my limits.
He seems to be genuine enough not like many others who just get their kicks ordering you around on cam.
He wants to come to my house.
It is very isolated.
At the moment i only know Him through his profile on here.
What precautions should I take and how do I establish he is a sane person who understands a Dom - sub relationship?

Forget the D/s. Meet the man for coffee first. And c'mon, what did our mothers tell us about strangers? Right.

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RE: How do I check out a new Master is for real? - 9/13/2011 7:36:41 AM

Buzzzz

Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Buzzzz

references, references, references. Safe call, have a friend go with you.

WTF over???? So who do you call his pastor oh I know better yet call the cops and see if he is a felon. Oh wait I have an idea call his ex I sure she will give a stellar review. You could call his employer. GET REAL like someone is going to give you a reference that will speak poorly of them.

Uh I submit you do it the old fashion way, you get to know them.

BadOne

I have my exes as references. I do not see what the problem is with references... I am not talking about cm references. More like fet references, people who have an active profile on there.

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