Are You... "You?" (Full Version)

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NocturnalStalker -> Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 3:50:49 PM)

I've read a lot about how people feel they fit certain roles or that they would never guess another person to be underneath whichever label they feel defines them.  Whether they are a typically quiet person by day and savage at night, or they are in a position of power in their professional life and come home (or seek out) to be "disciplined." 

Do you think of yourself as someone that balances on the lines of reality and fantasy?  Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast?  Perhaps you simply feel your "persona" under the BDSM veil is an enhancement of yourself turned up some or that it is entertaining your imagination to be something you would never be mistaken for by an outsider/casual friend.

Are you merely an extension of your design or an architect of your own fantasies?  Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?" 





zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 3:57:11 PM)

Damn NS that's a lot of questions. What it boils down to for me (if I understand what you're trying to do here) is that I'm a submissive woman with a smart mouth who isn't afraid to give her opinion. Is that what you're trying to get at?



Aileen1968 -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 3:59:59 PM)

For the first time in my life, I'm able to be who I really am.
My life consists of incredible reality and incredible fantasy all rolled up into one.
He gives me both with every breathe.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 4:30:06 PM)

Trust me, if I could lose this goofy sense of humour under a BDSM persona I totally would.

But no. Not possible.



oneluckysub -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 4:30:48 PM)

I am dichotomic.

Professionally, I am in a position of authority with a high pressure career with lots of demands.
In my personal life, I am laid back, easy going, try to please and take care of those I love.

For me, being in a D/s relationship helps balance these parts of me.

The person I am in public is completely the opposite of who I am in private. Those who know me publicly would be mostly shocked if they discovered my submissive proclivities in private.



BKSir -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 4:37:05 PM)

I tend to be rather dominant in every aspect of life, unless it's a situation in which I really don't give a shit, and then I am apathetic and let others do whatever they want, since it really doesn't affect me in one way or another.

However, I am not me. I've gone over this many many times. I'm simply a mass hallucination. I don't even exist. Unless I'm yelling at my stupid assistant for doing the exact opposite of what I told him 6 freakin' times. Then I'm a very loud and angry mass hallucination.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 4:40:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

I'm a very loud and angry mass hallucination.

That should be your sig line. [:D]



kalikshama -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 4:41:47 PM)

I'm the oldest of three, always had and took lots of responsibility, have lots of minions at work, and just love giving over control to my Dom!

My coworkers would be just shocked if they knew I'm an /s outside work :)

I am content with where I am, which is continuing to grow and explore with a partner I love and trust. We get inspiration from kinky friends, local BDSM events, books, the internet, and the dark corners of our minds.



ProlificNeeds -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 4:53:25 PM)

I am what I am, but I frequently dabble in being everything else when I can afford to wrap myself in a swath of intense imagination and suspension of belief. I write fiction, I roleplay in various formats, but at the end of the day being me is being me, I know when I'm 'acting' and it's always very intentional and deliberate, I don't bother with deception and pretense day to day.

I'm pretty transparent when it comes down to it, but I love seeing things from other roles for fun.
As for being content with it... I'm not unhappy, but I don't think 'content' is ever the right word, because it would imply I never want to change or alter the way things are. I'm always open to change, but I don't insist on it.



gungadin09 -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 5:49:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker
Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast? 

i'm relatively submissive in real life.

Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?"

i think i could make a good switch someday, but for right now i'm just a bottom.


pam



Winterapple -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 6:46:18 PM)

I'm a partime librarian and I believe that's a profession
people like to speculate about. I like to think we have our
own niche in the pervy daydreams of others. I'm arty and
boho otherwise so, no I wouldn't be surprised if someone I
don't know well might wonder if I'm kinky.
I don't think anyone would necessarily assume submissive.
I'm not very aggressive and have sort of a zen personality
but I'm stubborn and don't let people walk over me.
If you mean personnas in terms of wearing masks. I think it's
quite the opposite. I think the masks come off. I think each person
responds to something in the other and draws it out fully.
Then both people shapeshift into leopards.
Of course Oscar Wilde said "Man is least himself when he talks
in his own person. Give him a mask and he will you the truth."
What I said really doesn't contradict that.
I think I'm a extension of my design. I would make a poor architect
of anything as I'm poor at structure which is one reason I seek it in
another.
After struggling with certain aspects I am content to be a submissive.



Buzzzz -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 6:49:08 PM)

I believe I am who I am.. constantly evolving though....



Epytropos -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 6:49:46 PM)

So many questions... I think my everyday persona fits pretty well with my dominant tendencies. The only people who are ever shocked to learn it are those who had no idea there was such a thing. Most who are aware of it as a concept guess it pretty quickly.

As to my contentment, I'm pretty happy with where I am on the spectrum. I would like to explore poly and dom/domme play, but I think my practices mesh pretty well with my personality. I've always believed that the distinction between sexuality and the everyday is highly overestimated, and that's very true for me.



Endivius -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 7:26:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker


Do you think of yourself as someone that balances on the lines of reality and fantasy? 



"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

quote:


Is your favoured role in BDSM a simulacrum of yourself to the outside world or a stark contrast? 


No, I hate everyone equally, I just can't whip strangers on the street without going to prison.

quote:


Are you merely an extension of your design or an architect of your own fantasies? 


Seems I am a bit of both. I live the fantasies that are possible, and through that, I imagine more than would be otherwise.

quote:


Are you content with where you currently are in BDSM as submissive or dominant or do you find yourself wondering on the, "What If's?" 


I have no interests in being submissive to anyone. It simply is not within me.





Kaliko -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 7:44:41 PM)

I think the more I experience submission in my personal relationships, the more I embrace submission in other areas of my life. I've found it to be much more satisfactory to step back and allow for/do for others, even if it means taking on a humility myself so that they don't have to, than to argue my point. To what avail? I just don't care enough about coming out on top that I need to make it happen. If I'm truly wronged? Sometimes I speak up and sometimes I don't. But I don't think anyone would be surprised that I am submissive in my personal relationships. Not anymore, anyway.



littlewonder -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 8:02:23 PM)

I am me. I am not one person in bdsm and another outside of it. If you met me you'd probably pick up rather quickly that I am submissive because that really is my personality. I don't lead, I don't confront others, I don't like to make rules and I hate making decisions. I do these things though because I have no other choice....well I do but it's either make the choices and take leads or suffer the consequences of loss of finances, loss of relationships, etc...but if I am able to shirk those responsibilities..hell yeah, i'm going to because I absolutely hate doing them. When I am around other people, I'm always the one sitting in the back, never the one who starts conversations unless I have to and I'm always one step behind everyone else.

So yeah...I'm me...in and outside of this. Ain't no differences at all.




Tristan -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 8:06:34 PM)

I'm probably very consistant in both my personal life and my private life.  I don't see a disconnect between them.  I would describe myself more as being in control rather than dominant.  I'm very comfortable being in control at work, and also very comfortable being in control when in a relationship.



winspiritsbaby -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 9:47:35 PM)

Actually coming to understand my submissive side late in life, that is kind of a loaded question for me.

I've had to be the leader in all areas of my life for years. Always the one who handles the bills, the problems and the discipline. Always the one to make all the decisions as well as any receive rewards or consequences that may come with those decisions. However, I am finding that at times, I enjoy taking the 'backseat' in most aspects of life now. While Win and I are not 24/7 at the moment, when we are together he makes most decisions. The only decisions that he does not make are any that pertain to my kids. He asks my opinion on things, but ultimately, he makes the final decision. It is a struggle at times not to revert to the ways I'm used to, but that's to be expected, I think.

Edited to add: All of this may change once we become 24/7, who knows?



HeatherMcLeather -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 9:49:13 PM)

I am she as you are he as you are me and we are all together. [;)]

I am just me. I'm pretty submissive in the real world, I appear to be much more so than I do on here because I rarely speak up unless I am with people I know or trust really well, due to my speech impediment. So I rarely express an opinion or say anything back, I usually just do what I'm asked to do and go along with whatever the group consensus is. It doesn't arouse me in any way, it's just the way I am, if you ask me to get you a drink, odds are I will stop what I'm doing and get it for you, rather than say something like "g-g-ge-get it you-you-yourself".



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Are You... "You?" (9/15/2011 9:56:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I am she as you are he as you are me and we are all together. [;)]

I am just me. I'm pretty submissive in the real world, I appear to be much more so than I do on here because I rarely speak up unless I am with people I know or trust really well, due to my speech impediment. So I rarely express an opinion or say anything back, I usually just do what I'm asked to do and go along with whatever the group consensus is. It doesn't arouse me in any way, it's just the way I am, if you ask me to get you a drink, odds are I will stop what I'm doing and get it for you, rather than say something like "g-g-ge-get it you-you-yourself".


Th-th-thank you for the re-re-response.

I'm just ribbing you. [:)]



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