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Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 7:09:33 PM

subbybunny

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Joined: 9/16/2011
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At the moment I'm in the unenviable position of being alone and somewhat new. I was wondering if anyone had suggestions for things I could do to make myself have those feelings of submitting even when I am alone. Like postures, or tasks I could do myself? I feel silly asking but right now this is all I can come up with.

Post #: 1

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 7:31:02 PM

ProlificNeeds

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Joined: 5/19/2007
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Read lots of rediculous erotica that is totally unrealistic but totally HOT!

I have no solid answer for this one, it's hard to in essence 'submit' when you haven't got someone to submit -to-, and it depends which aspect of the 'feelings' you're looking for, the arousal, or just the need to rub your face all over someone's boot?

(in reply to subbybunny)

Post #: 2

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 8:04:42 PM

XMariahMadnessX

Posts: 12
Joined: 9/15/2011
Status: offline

This may not be 'submitting', but hey......

My friend did a ceremony where she flogged herself as a Master would flog a sub. She completely loved it; found it enlightening. Maybe you could do something like that?

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)

Post #: 3

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 8:23:01 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

You could always contact an IRS agent, and ask them to audit you. Nothing screams submit, like an IRS audit. Oh wait, no sorry that was misfiled. It should have been under ass fucking.

The serious answer:

For the service oriented, do some volunteer work for a homeless shelter or food kitchen. Go to your elderly neighbors and offer to do yard work to prepare for winter, housecleaning, run errands. Offer to volunteer at a hospital. There are lots of ways to be of service, and if you prepare yourself mentally for the 'act of service' it can put you in a nice headspace.

For the masochist, I'm sure there are some who will show up to offer self-help advice there. I never could get into the whole beat myself thing.

Sexually, you can stimulate yourself while fantasizing about what you wish your future dominant would do to you, or make you do.

WinD

(in reply to XMariahMadnessX)

Post #: 4

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 8:40:30 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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None of the serious answers would really apply to me. My submission is utterly tied into who I am submitting to.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 5

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 8:56:47 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

None of the serious answers would really apply to me. My submission is utterly tied into who I am submitting to.

No, I can see how they wouldn't, in fact they probably wouldn't apply to many (oh so many) submissive type individuals. It isn't uncommon for submission to be an inspired response, not a self-actuated one. Different strokes/different folks really.

Personally, I'm single, and none of that would really work for me either. However, I do find fulfillment in service to my family. My grandchildren and my children inspire my service orientation and brings me happiness.

When searching, all one can do is ask for advice, take what they can use and leave the rest. When asked, all I hope to do is offer suggestions that may possibly be helpful and do my best to do no harm in the process. Either way, its all good.

WinD

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 6

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 8:59:08 PM

peppermint

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From: Montana
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You might try some self improvement projects. Read and learn how to serve a formal dinner. Learn to cook some really yummy fancy things. Take a night course to improve your mind. Those things will make you a more desirable submissive when you do find a partner.

(in reply to subbybunny)

Post #: 7

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 9:20:51 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Volunteer at a shelter or an old folks home. Do something good for humanity. Then go home, read the unrealistic erotic lit mentioned above and do your thing.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 8

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 9:59:30 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subbybunny

I was wondering if anyone had suggestions for things I could do to make myself have those feelings of submitting even when I am alone. Like postures, or tasks I could do myself?

As others have stated, it's pretty hard to simulate submission. Doing service projects just isn't the same as serving a Dom/Domme. Tying yourself up isn't the same as being tied up. Flogging yourself isn't the same as being flogged.

There are a few things that you can do that are pretty close to the real thing. Wearing a chastity device, or a butt plug are examples. Both feel the same regardless of whether you put them on yourself, or someone else puts them on you.

But as someone else said, rather than trying to simulate the feeling of submission, why not try to become a better sub? I think that most subs could benefit from taking a massage class. That's a skill that most Doms/Dommes would enjoy.

Good luck in your search. Hopefully, you won't be submitting to yourself for very long.

(in reply to subbybunny)

Post #: 9

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 10:08:28 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Take classes...cooking, organizing, tax preparing, gardening, clerical and mechanical skills, etiquette, massage, etc...anything that you think might be helpful or useful when you do have a man in your life.

And they'll enrich your life as well.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 10

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 11:38:21 PM

Epytropos

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Joined: 7/23/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

You might try some self improvement projects. Read and learn how to serve a formal dinner. Learn to cook some really yummy fancy things. Take a night course to improve your mind. Those things will make you a more desirable submissive when you do find a partner.

This would be my suggestion. Think of it as a period of unemployment - you can sit and feel like shit because you can't find what you need, or you can work to make yourself better and in the process improve your chances. In truth, you really are submitting yourself to the person you will eventually be taken by - their pleasure is at the forefront of your mind and you are spending your time in ways which will make their life better. You just don't happen to know who they are yet.

Whether this will fulfill your needs or not I have no idea, but it's at least productive.

_____________________________

They're only words. Don't dwell on them. They never mean what you think.

I speak only of My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 11

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/16/2011 11:56:47 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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quote:

You just don't happen to know who they are yet.

I like that a lot!

(in reply to Epytropos)

Post #: 12

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/17/2011 3:46:02 AM

FelineFae

Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline

i think this is a good question.

personally, i find anything that strengthens self-discipline would be helpful to your goal. learn something that's always fascinated you. then learn it perfectly.

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Individual results may vary.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 13

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/17/2011 5:41:31 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I would add to the list - do some research. Find out what it is to be a submissive. Read the forums here, maybe buy a book or two.

Secondly - research munches in your local area. Contact the organisers, introduce yourself, get out there among the kinksters. Watch how people are interacting with each other. Get a clear perspective on what a D/s relationship actually is (which is usually completely different from the porn definition).

Thirdly - practise patience. Sounds trite, I know, but it's damned useful. You're going to have to be patient while you're looking otherwise you'll end up with Mr Right Now instead of Mr Right. And when you're in a relationship, I've found that patience is my friend. I will ask for something. He will consider it. It could take a few minutes, it could take a few weeks before I get my answer. Me getting annoyed...well, let's just say that has no good outcome!

Otherwise, just relax and enjoy the ride

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to FelineFae)

Post #: 14

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/18/2011 6:30:46 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

None of the serious answers would really apply to me. My submission is utterly tied into who I am submitting to.

This was the same reaction I had. Sure I am subissive whether I am in a relationship or not it is just tat submissive part isnt really active when there is no Dom/me in my life.

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

Post #: 15

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/18/2011 9:27:35 AM

deOwner

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbybunny

At the moment I'm in the unenviable position of being alone and somewhat new. I was wondering if anyone had suggestions for things I could do to make myself have those feelings of submitting even when I am alone. Like postures, or tasks I could do myself? I feel silly asking but right now this is all I can come up with.

Talk to a few of the other subs/slaves in your general area and ask for refs to Doms they trust to follow limits. Then drop the Dom(s) a note asking if they would agree to a bondage scene within your stated limits. That would provide you bondage and not go any further than you are comfortable with. And who knows, you might just find the perfect Dom/Master for longer term.

Good luck with the searching

(in reply to subbybunny)

Post #: 16

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/18/2011 10:57:58 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

None of the serious answers would really apply to me. My submission is utterly tied into who I am submitting to.

This was the same reaction I had. Sure I am subissive whether I am in a relationship or not it is just tat submissive part isnt really active when there is no Dom/me in my life.

Same here. I'm not a very submissive person, unless I come across someone that I view as more alpha than I am.

If you don't have someone to submit to, you're not submitting. While the serious suggestions are good for self improvement, they're not about submitting.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 17

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/18/2011 12:42:28 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I have something to add on the subject of volunteering that may be pertinent since it comes up on the boards every so often. My classmates and I had to find a place to volunteer a certain amount of hours for school, and then do up a presentation about our volunteer opportunity. Seems simple enough on the face of it but it's getting harder to find places that will take your help.

In order to go out and give people your time, depending on the place, you have to be willing to prove yourself quite thoroughly as someone they want to be around their organization. The place that finally accepted me wanted me to fill out 13 pages of forms, have a TB test, did a background check on me, and gave me a urine test for drugs/alcohol. They also gave me a lanyard with a photo ID to wear on the grounds. This isn't a prison, it's an assisted living facility for the elderly. Some of the schools wanted all that plus fingerprinting. Many places wanted 30- 40 hours of training to occur before ever getting to volunteer as well. I understand the precautions, but it's a bit amazing when you aren't prepared for it. Some places won't even take you if you won't do a certain amount of time with them because they put in so much time and money with the vetting/training process. Just wanted to throw that out there in case the OP or anyone else was thinking of looking to volunteer so they'd realistically know what type of commitment it took and how hard it was to find a placement. I worked for weeks to find mine.

I like the idea and always have of making yourself the best you that you can be. The more you have to offer someone the more valuable you are. I don't think it's necessarily a submissive exercise, but I can't really say I feel submissive outside of my relationship either. I do think that the more you bring to the table, the more enjoyment you yourself get out of your own life and the more you have to offer someone. You also have more joy and peace to give from the confidence and achievement you obtain from educating yourself. Sorry I don't have more of what you might be looking for OP, but I do think working on your inner self is the way to go.

(in reply to subbybunny)

Post #: 18

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/18/2011 8:06:20 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbybunny

Things to do by yourself to practice submission

Tune your radio to your favorite Rap Music station, then snap your clit with a rubber band every time you hear the word "HO".

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to subbybunny)

Post #: 19

RE: Things to do by yourself to practice submission - 9/19/2011 8:11:20 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

I don't think you can practise submission. Submission to me is a verb - as in, it's an action or a reaction to another. Its really not a solo act.

Perhaps you can set yourself to reading back-threads on cm so you avoid the most common issues for newbie subs - eg. sub frenzy, con artist dominants, first meetings - and so on. Anyway, good luck with your search for Mr/Mrs Right.

Edited to add - just read your profile, and you might add something a bit more personal about yourself - like, what you are looking for, who you are and what you have to offer. You could read some profiles to see what you like and don't like.

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 9/19/2011 8:13:53 PM >

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 20

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