Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Crazy?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Crazy? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Crazy? - 9/19/2011 10:23:48 AM   
CompletelyHis


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/29/2010
Status: offline 		Master and His wife have been on vacatoin for the past week. I have been at thier house caring for thier pets and doing some deep cleaning that I find impossible to do then He is home ( He is retired). We are poly and Master would like another submissive and is alway open to play partners. He seldom drives so while travleing, when He would get bored and called a number of girls to say hello and keep up with them as He always does. But while gone I only heard from His wife ( a good friend). Master thinks I am crazy and jealous because I am hurt that He did not call me even once to see how I was. I just wanted to hear his voice but do not usually call since He is always busy and He knows this. Am i so wrong to think He could/should have taken a minute or to just to say 'Hello" ?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 10:29:18 AM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline 		One of the tag lines from my sig block seems appropriate:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

My other answer is: Are you "allowed" to contact Him?  Seems so by your fear to interrupt him when He is busy.  Those phone thingies work both ways.  You can always start the call with "Sir.  Do you have a moment or two to chat?"

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 10:43:37 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Have you told him how you feel? If he feels it isn't important and you do then you need to decide what is important to you and can you put up with this for the rest of your life. He isn't going to change and you can't change him. So you need to decide.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 10:49:30 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		If he's too busy to chat on the phone, text or e-mail is an option? There's lots of ways to communicate when you miss someone, it works both ways. Also, it's vacation, it's suppose to be a time for self, you shouldn't make him feel guilt over what he does, or does not do on his vacation. You spend a great deal of time with him normally yes? was it really so bad to go one week with him away?

I don't think it's crazy to feel jealous or miss someone sometimes, it's a natural reaction, but that's when common sense should kick in and you should ask yourself, "Am I maybe over reacting? Being a bit silly?" Of course he loves and trusts you, you're the one in his house looking after his pets.

Perhaps if 'detoxing' from him for one week makes you a bit 'crazy' you might want to review if you are overly attached or overly emotionally dependant. Do some self review, then speak with him later about it, maybe he had a reason for not calling you? Maybe he thought you could use a vacation from him? Doesn't sound like it had anything to do with how much he cares about you though, so don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 11:42:53 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		He may care for you and treat you well, but it seems that you are not a top level priority to him. Is that alright with you? Are your feelings different or deeper? He isn't wrong for not doing something he didn't consider to be important, however, if you want a different type of relationship that is more connected then maybe this isn't the right place for you to be.

To put it a slightly different way, there were men that I enjoyed being with and they never would have crossed my mind while I was gone on vacation. The man I am in love with would have been thought of a million different times as I was doing things without him, and I'd have called often to share what was going on because I'd have missed having him there with me. It's strange, but I miss him more when I'm enjoying myself and he's not there to share it- he's said the same. We're attached to each other emotionally, that seems to be the difference.

It would have been nice of him to call, he didn't. That makes it seem as though you aren't a looming presence in his conciousness and perhaps....maybe....you are a bit taken for granted? I can't really say, but I'd wonder about that. For some it would be fine to have the more casual arrangement of the heart- you have to weigh if that will work for you or not.

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 5:21:05 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		When i went out of the country, my late Sir wanted me to call every day - which given the time difference was difficult - and honestly, even though i missed him, i was bound up in what i was doing. Perhaps the OPs master is the same way. For me, a week is not a long time to be out of contact - but i was raised in a family that didn't keep in close constant contact. my Sir was, and our differences in this sometimes caused problems.

I called more than i thought necessary - and he demanded i call less than he wanted. In other words we compromised. All part of a great relationship

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 6:32:13 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		You know what they say ... if they dont call, its a sure #1 sign: They're just not that into you.


_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 7:25:58 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		No way am I getting involved in the question of who's right.  I'll just say that you need to let him know how you feel, and then ask if you can abide by his decision.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Crazy? - 9/19/2011 9:16:54 PM   
winspiritsbaby


Posts: 141
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

No way am I getting involved in the question of who's right.  I'll just say that you need to let him know how you feel, and then ask if you can abide by his decision.


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 8:53:17 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

One of the tag lines from my sig block seems appropriate:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

My other answer is: Are you "allowed" to contact Him?  Seems so by your fear to interrupt him when He is busy.  Those phone thingies work both ways.  You can always start the call with "Sir.  Do you have a moment or two to chat?"



See, you're thinking like a guy here. We don't WANT to have to call him and ask him if he has a moment to chat. We don't really want to chat, we just want HIM to WANT to chat because it shows us he misses us and that he truly cares.

Thinking like a woman

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 9:22:01 AM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Am i so wrong to think He could/should have taken a minute or to just to say 'Hello" ?

IMO, yes. You should have picked up the phone if it bothered you so bad. He isn't a mind reader.

'Hello, Sir, forgive me for bothering you, but I'm in need of your voice. Do you have a few minutes to talk?'

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 9:25:18 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

He may care for you and treat you well, but it seems that you are not a top level priority to him.
What the Hell?

The man is on vacation with his wife! He is supposed to be spending his time and attention on her. How would you feel if he went on vacation with you and kept interrupting your time together to call the wife? Besides, the wife called to touch base that shows that you were on their minds, so be happy knowing that and leave them the Hell alone, for God's sake.

This is the sort of thing that happens when children start playing at adult relationships.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 10:05:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

What the Hell?

The man is on vacation with his wife! He is supposed to be spending his time and attention on her. How would you feel if he went on vacation with you and kept interrupting your time together to call the wife? Besides, the wife called to touch base that shows that you were on their minds, so be happy knowing that and leave them the Hell alone, for God's sake.

This is the sort of thing that happens when children start playing at adult relationships.


I have to agree.

If I say that MP and I are having time on our own, that's exactly what I mean by it.  A romantic getaway for a week or a vacation would be our time to focus on us and keep the primary relationship strong.  That's My time that I'm dedicating to him and the two of us. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 10:44:27 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CeriseNin

quote:

Am i so wrong to think He could/should have taken a minute or to just to say 'Hello" ?

IMO, yes. You should have picked up the phone if it bothered you so bad. He isn't a mind reader.

'Hello, Sir, forgive me for bothering you, but I'm in need of your voice. Do you have a few minutes to talk?'




This, and what Arpig and LadyP said....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to CeriseNin)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 11:22:07 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		You're dealing with the fundamental reality which accompanies so-called "poly" relationships - in particular, those with a non-primary sub.  You're an optional extra, not a significant part of the dynamic and your needs are virtually irrelevant.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 12:16:20 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CompletelyHis

Master and His wife have been on vacatoin for the past week. I have been at thier house caring for thier pets and doing some deep cleaning that I find impossible to do then He is home ( He is retired). We are poly and Master would like another submissive and is alway open to play partners. He seldom drives so while travleing, when He would get bored and called a number of girls to say hello and keep up with them as He always does. But while gone I only heard from His wife ( a good friend). Master thinks I am crazy and jealous because I am hurt that He did not call me even once to see how I was. I just wanted to hear his voice but do not usually call since He is always busy and He knows this. Am i so wrong to think He could/should have taken a minute or to just to say 'Hello" ?


What he very likely, could have done, is call you. What he should have done, is between the three of you and the dynamic agreement you have.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Crazy? - 9/20/2011 7:38:30 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CompletelyHis

Am i so wrong to think He could/should have taken a minute or to just to say 'Hello" ?



I don't think so.



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Crazy? - 9/30/2011 3:39:32 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		I do not like the way it is turning out  for her, he is speaking to other girls,
but he does not bother to even call her???  Something is wrong he is a man
and when men become ready to move one they do things like this!  I am really sad for
her she is only feeling with her heart he feels with his mind and sight!  To make her wait for him
is a mess and master wife is acting like anyother slave too, she is making her jealous I have seen it all! 
I do not see what she can do she is his and he is rhwe master soon her will leave her i am sorry! 
If you can move on dear one!!!!  do it !!!

mons

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Crazy? - 9/30/2011 6:21:19 AM   
SirRob7


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/30/2011
Status: offline 		If your allowed to call your Master then you should call and explain your worries or feelings with all due respect. If the Master hasn't called maybe you are trusted to be alone without supervision or being checked on.

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Crazy? - 9/30/2011 8:28:09 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CompletelyHis

But while gone I only heard from His wife ( a good friend). Master thinks I am crazy and jealous because I am hurt that He did not call me even once to see how I was.


Maybe he asked his wife to call you from the both of them to see how you were doing?


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to CompletelyHis)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Crazy? Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109