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What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the first me... - 9/21/2011 3:34:24 AM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

Hey guys, this is my first post here... I've been on here for a bit now. I pretty much never get any replies to any of my messages and I was just wondering why not? I mean I have taken the time to create a profile of more than 5 words, I don't send copy and paste messages, I take time to read a girl's profile and come up with a message from that rather than just a boring ''hey how are you'', I don't tell a girl that she has to obey me right away, tell her to call me Sir or any other stupid shit girls say they hate... So I dunno what I'm doing wrong really. I'm not meaning to sound like a whiner, I just wondered if anybody could give me a few tips and help me out? :)

Post #: 1

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 3:49:29 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

I have no idea if it's why you're not getting answers, but I checked out your profile and in your main pic you look all of 15 or 16.

Maybe a better pic where you don't look like some high school kid trying to get laid by snapping a cam shot in his briefs.

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 2

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 4:01:50 AM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

I have to agree with Heather, you look incredibly young in your profile pic. It's also a typical "standing there half dressed with a phone in my hand" pic. Also I would leave out the sentence about your being attractive and athletically built. Good looking is subjective and your build is self-evident from your pic. As for why you aren't getting replies, I have no idea since I don't know what you are writing.

ETA: I DO like that you have written that you are new to this and looking to learn. Honesty about that is a very good thing.

good luck and welcome to CM

Zeph

< Message edited by zephyroftheNorth -- 9/21/2011 4:06:50 AM >

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(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 3

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 4:29:33 AM

TreasureKY

Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Add one more voice to what has been already said; replace your photo with one of yourself fully clothed. Keep it tasteful and casual. Maybe something outdoors (foliage in the background), wearing blue jeans and a nice button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Smile.

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 4

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 4:30:48 AM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

Thanks for the honest replies :) yeah I'll definately have to take some better pics've gotten rid of that one anyway, as well as the part you mentioned.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 5

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 4:34:44 AM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Add one more voice to what has been already said; replace your photo with one of yourself fully clothed. Keep it tasteful and casual. Maybe something outdoors (foliage in the background), wearing blue jeans and a nice button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Smile.

I missed this before I sent my reply, but I'll try this, thanks :)

(in reply to TreasureKY)

Post #: 6

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 5:23:14 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I agree with the others. All your pics are barechested and look like some horny kid. Then your profile text says basically "I like cagefighting and I wanna play." There have been way too many profiles from young men (and older ones that should know better) saying how Dominant they are and then listing their kinks. Unfortunately for you, a lot of them make outlandish claims of how athletic they are when it's pretty obvious they'd get winded picking up a glass of water. The fact that in your case it's true doesn't mitigate that fatigue for them.

That said, I get the feeling from your profile that you may be looking for play and nothing else. If so, your profile doesn't need a lot of change but you will get rejected from all the women looking for a relationship, and that's fine. If not, then your profile needs some reworking to emphasize that you're relationship material.

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 7

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 7:39:33 AM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I agree with the others. All your pics are barechested and look like some horny kid. Then your profile text says basically "I like cagefighting and I wanna play." There have been way too many profiles from young men (and older ones that should know better) saying how Dominant they are and then listing their kinks. Unfortunately for you, a lot of them make outlandish claims of how athletic they are when it's pretty obvious they'd get winded picking up a glass of water. The fact that in your case it's true doesn't mitigate that fatigue for them.

That said, I get the feeling from your profile that you may be looking for play and nothing else. If so, your profile doesn't need a lot of change but you will get rejected from all the women looking for a relationship, and that's fine. If not, then your profile needs some reworking to emphasize that you're relationship material.

Thanks mate, yeah I should make it clear that I'm looking for a relationship rather than just play, which I really am.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 8

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 8:24:46 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

be sure to have and exhibit a sense f humor.. I have yet to meet a good woman wihtout one!

edit: sorryyy for typos etc... cat sleeping acrossa my aerm

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 9/21/2011 8:25:53 AM >

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(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 9

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 10:14:57 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

I may be getting to your profile after a few edits, as I find it pretty self descriptive
without the feeling that you are typing it with your free hand.

If I were in your age range, I might have responded to an email, even if it was just
to ask if you were as big a fan of Royce Gracie as I am.

I like the picture of you in the river too, although with me living in Louisiana,
I cant help but imagine an alligator appearing any minute now!

If no one has mentioned this yet, try and find local events that cater to your
age group. If you search google for bdsm munch tng, you may find something
that you would be interested in attending.

Welcome to Collarme, and continued good luck in your search.

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(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 10

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/21/2011 2:15:09 PM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

Thanks :) do any of you think that it has to do with my age? I mean most subs on here I see ask for older more experienced Doms, and I have had a few who have told me that I'm too young...

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 11

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/22/2011 7:36:21 AM

MasterEd76

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/22/2011
Status: offline

I guess the advantage in being too young is that you will only get older. If the problem was being being too old then you'd be stuffed!

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 12

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/22/2011 7:44:38 AM

submissioncries

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/25/2011
Status: offline

Intelligence, wit, humor, compatibility in terms of location and age range. Yes, your age might have something to do with it...but you can't do much about that.

(in reply to MasterEd76)

Post #: 13

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/22/2011 9:20:07 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The other thing is there is nothing in your profile to respond to. So you write someone saying hello, and when they look at your profile they don't learn anything about you. Except that you want sex.

That's not enough commonality. Or do you normally start conversations at parties, at the pub, in the coffee shop by asking women if they like sex? No, even if that's what caused you to chat them up. You talk about other things, less personal, and build a relationship.

What kind of music do you like? Do you go to concerts, do you play an instrument? Movies, activities, etc. And when you write someone, comment on something nonsexual in their profile or pictures. And a picture that makes you look of age couldn't hurt.

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(in reply to submissioncries)

Post #: 14

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 11:34:15 AM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

Yeah I guess being young isn't too bad... Thanks, I'll try including those things.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 15

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 1:33:31 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Now even if you do everything right, and there have been threads giving more concrete suggestions of how to meet women, you have to expect no response from 98% of the women you write to. There is a huge discrepancy in numbers between the amount of men and the amount of women online. Women get random emails daily. Someone your age who is young and cute will get literally pages of full of mail. Nobody has four hours daily to say thank you but no thanks to everyone who writes. Plus for every ten rejections we send out, we can expect a minimum of three abusive responses. So we don't respond if we aren't interested.

I would suggest you find a local group, especially a TNG group. Or just date women who interest you and be honest about what you're into. Don't only look online.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 16

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 1:56:12 PM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

I'd get rid of the internet is full of bullshitters line. Way too negative.

And the last line about not pressing the button in a rapey way sounds weird to me, but that might just be me.

Otherwise I like your profile and interests listed. You don't sound as if you are just after a fling.

I definitely would look at some events and workshops if they have them to help you learn some skills and safety and yes, unfortunately your age can be a barrier initially. However remember that a lot of men say that the reply rate is fairly low.

Also, make yourself known in the forums, reply to threads and build friendships with the people here

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(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 17

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 2:34:41 PM

Chesterfield91

Posts: 43
Joined: 7/11/2011
Status: offline

Yeah true, I don't have any trouble on normal dating sites like plentyoffish, it's just on here. There are way too many guys on here, hardly any girls my age that live close, and I understand that girls get 100s of messages. I'm glad I don't sound like I'm only after a fling anymore. I've thought about just meeting girls normally and letting them know what I'm into because that would probably be easier than trying to find someone online, but then again I'm also a little worried that it might freak them out?

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 18

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 2:45:46 PM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

Maybe start gently and playfully, a brief and not too hard) tug of the hair as you kiss her, a few swats on her butt, jokingly say that if she doesn't do x, y or z you will put her over your knee and spank her and see her reaction, hold her hands over her head with one of your hands while you kiss her... you get the drift

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 19

RE: What makes you want to respond to a Dom in the firs... - 9/23/2011 3:24:09 PM

TomcatLXVI

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline

So. Tell me how I can improve my profile.

(in reply to Chesterfield91)

Post #: 20

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