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About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 4:44:55 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		It was brought up lately that doms have responsibilitys... a lot of them. So I am wondering if a few folks would like to chime in with their opinions of what those responsibilitys are. And because it is only right to also ask. What are a submissives responsibilitys. This can be anything for respect and honesty to transportaton and paying bills. This is just an opinion thread and that is all I'm seeking. Opinions people, share yours.

< Message edited by MissImmortalPain -- 9/21/2011 4:46:36 PM >

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 4:53:53 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		This is going to be a very widely varied topic. The responses are going to be different for every person that said :

As the D my responsibility is to be myself, respect my s's well being(this is subjective I realize) and allways be objective, even when one of them is begging for mercy or just walking down the street.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:01:20 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Dominants don't get to be cold and uncaring, MIP. That's the main thing. They can play at it, and even have great fun with it, but it's shitty of them to be like that towards subs, constantly and deep down. No amount of vaingloriousness, no amount of self-justification at all, is really valid. It's bollocks. An arse is an arse, and that's it.

That's pretty much it, as far as I'm concerned.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:05:34 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		If we wish to have the M/s relationship that we have, M is responsible for maintaining authority over me and I'm responsible for accepting it. The many, many ways that that is executed just boils down to that.

Other than that I have no opinion on what *a* dom's responsibilities are.

agirl


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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:09:29 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		My responsibility is very simple, it is whatever Hanners says it is at any given time. My job is to do what I'm told, it's as simple as that. If Hanners decides I am responsible for paying the bills, then I am, if she decides I am responsible for fixing a leaky roof, then I am.

As far as what the dominant's responsibility is, well Hanners herself answered this a while back in another thread, and since her view of a dominant's responsibilities is really the only one that matters to me, I will just quote it verbatim.

quote:

i see my main purpose as ensuring the two of us are as fucking happy as i can arrange. sex-wise i do what i want most of the time, but outside of the fucking, if anything heather's well being is more important than mine. she's the focus of my life, so as her domme, i am focused on her as well, i can't see how the fuck it could be otherwise. and that's the way it should be in my mind. when i am faced with a decision, i go with what will be best for her. she's entrusted herself to me, and i take that responsibility very fucking seriously. it's my job to make sure she has the best fucking life i can give her.


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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:14:03 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		 
Responsibilities from the following perspectives:

* Power Dynamic -- Both agree/accept that one leads and one follows.

* Life in General -- Both agree/accept that both will behave as adults.



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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:35:44 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

It was brought up lately that doms have responsibilitys... a lot of them. So I am wondering if a few folks would like to chime in with their opinions of what those responsibilitys are. And because it is only right to also ask. What are a submissives responsibilitys. This can be anything for respect and honesty to transportaton and paying bills. This is just an opinion thread and that is all I'm seeking. Opinions people, share yours.


A dom should respect the sub's stated limits. Other than that, I am not sure if there are any inherent responsibilties. This can vary dramatically depending on the people involved and the nature of the relationship. If you just get together once or a few times to play, that's very different than if you have an ongoing relationship. It's up to each dom and sub to communicate their expectations, needs, and desires to the other. If you don't communicate something, you shouldn't be surprised if you don't get it.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:45:49 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

This is going to be a very widely varied topic. The responses are going to be different for every person


That is the point. For everyone to give their opinion without anyone else being able to say they are wrong.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:48:14 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

* Life in General -- Both agree/accept that both will behave as adults.
What about the Daddy Dom/Little Princess dynamics where the sub is expected to do just the opposite?

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 5:48:15 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		So, peon, you don't feel subs have any responsibilitys ?

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 6:17:08 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		mine is simple...to obey. I do what he tells me to do.

edited: hahaha...damn I hate when he uses my computer and I forget to change back to littlewonder. 


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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 6:23:00 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		I , as a sub, am responsible for my decisions.

My sweetie, as my dom, is responsible for his.

We are adults, and conduct ourselves as such.

I endevour to make him happy, and he does the same for me. However, it is not my responsibility to "make" him happy - its his.
The way i see it, is that as an adult, i do whatever i need to do to keep me safe, sane and sheltered. If there ever comes a day when that doesn't involve my sweetie, then he will be the first to know. We have been together over a year, and i don't see that happening, but i also went into a marriage with the intent to be together until death do us part - and that didn't work out too well.

Everything else is pretty much quibbling in my book.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 6:23:28 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		be informed and self actualized before entering a relationship.. that's for both...

its a relationship, no matter who holds the power.. all the same rules apply -- the better you know yourself.. the more honest and communicative you are, the better...

beyond that.. there are more practical responsibilities in cerain situations, but that list is long

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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 6:34:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Off the top of My head, I'm going with a few points.

My first responsibility to to cause no intentional harm.  Yes, I'm going to hurt him.  Yes, there is always the potential for an accident.  I'm a RACK player, so I accept that possibility exists.  Intentional harm is something else entirely.

It's My responsibility to wield authority without abusing the power that it gives Me.  To Me, this is the recognition of making decisions based on the information that is available to Me to whatever yields the highest benefit.

It is My responsibility for My education as a top.  If there are things that I want to *do* to him, it is My responsibility to know how.

It is My responsibility for his education as a submissive or slave.  That includes service to Me, learning leather, and also exposing him to those who do things differently than I do.

In association with this, it is also My responsibility to organize our activities as a poly unit.  (I realize this doesn't apply to everyone.)

As always, it is My responsibility to be a person of integrity, so that he has an owner in which he can put his faith and his trust. 


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 6:37:52 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

* Life in General -- Both agree/accept that both will behave as adults.
What about the Daddy Dom/Little Princess dynamics where the sub is expected to do just the opposite?



 LOL... kudos!!! As I see it, that's addressed by the "Power Dynamic -- Both agree/accept that one leads and one follows" portion of my post, where the "Life in General" portion pertains to general responsibilites of being a responsible person and partner -- i.e., work/school, home, money, family, etc. Being a sub/slave shouldn't equate to being a burden on others, or your partner, yanno?



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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 7:24:33 PM   
RexDarcy


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		To be Myself. To know My limitations (don't go beyond what I know. Continue working towards whats important to Me. When in a relationship, know My s-types limits and respecting those limits. Being in control of Myself. Keeping My end of the agreement in check. Keeping her well being.

s-types responsibilities? Being herself. Holding her end of whats agreed on.

Shared responsibilites: Communication and honesty.



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"I am who I am today because of choices I made yesterday."

"To bring the pieces back together - rediscover communication."

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 8:46:03 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

mine is simple...to obey. I do what he tells me to do.

edited: hahaha...damn I hate when he uses my computer and I forget to change back to littlewonder. 


Hey, who let you out of the cage? :-)


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 9:31:03 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		His responsibility is to try and not kill me and to make the best decisions possible for both of us.
My responsibility is to do what he says and provide him with as much info as possible so he can continue to make the best decisions possible for both of us.

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 9:37:16 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I'll buy that for a dollar. 

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RE: About responsibility. - 9/21/2011 10:23:03 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  It varies from dynamic to dynamic but the essential equation is this:  Whatever you accept or desire control over, you accept responsibility for.

How far that extends depends completely on the power exchange negotiated between the individuals.

Some may work it another way, but offhand, I can't see that working particularly well.


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Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

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