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Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 8:29:07 AM

LaTigresse

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I just took a brief glance at a thread about visiting a pro domme versus a relationship. While that particular thread didn't really interest me, just the title sparked a thought in my mind that lead to another.......and well, this thread is borne. I wasn't sure where to even put it, but decided on here, just because of the evolution of my thoughts.

We recently had a thread that touched on the revulsion of women towards men that have had a sexual experience with a man. We have had threads that have discussed the revulsion of submissive women towards dominant men that have, or do, switch.

I have never seen a thread (which does not mean it hasn't existed) about the thoughts of a person of either sex, regardless of dominant or submissive, about a potential partner having utilized any sort of professional service. Either a submissive paying a pro domme, or a person paying a prostitute, or a person paying a pro sub/bottom.

I've seen plenty of threads in which people have been advised to use these services. More threads trashing the providers of these services. A few threads debating a person in a commited relationship sneaking around behind their partner's back to visit said professional and the moral weakness, and denial of partner.....BUT I do not ever remember seeing anything with the specific approach my brain is taking.

I almost posted in the Mistress section but that was too limiting, as was posting the General BDSM, as it is broader that BDSM because of the prostitution aspect......so it is here in Off Topic.

How would YOU feel if you found out a partner had, in the past, when not in a relationship, paid for the services of a professional?

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

Post #: 1

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 8:34:26 AM

GreedyTop

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From: Savannah, GA
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I wouldnt have a problem, provided safe sex practices were in place..

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 8:36:05 AM

littlewonder

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I admit if he told me had visited a pro in the past I would roll my eyes and try to remind myself that he was a young, stupid, horny kid. If he still finds he would visit one if given the chance I would probably find him lacking in dominance.

I guess I just don't see the purpose of anyone visiting any kind of pro since from my own experience and those of the men I know, sex and playing of any kind is prevalent and easy to attain. They just have to have the balls to approach the gender of their desire and ask for it.

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 8:42:01 AM

LillyBoPeep

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i don't think it would bother me. as long as he's in good health, the past is the past. i'd figure he just did something he thought was fun at the time.

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 8:43:05 AM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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If it was in the past and he was single at the time, I'd be with Greedy and say I wouldn't really care, as long as he went the safer sex route.

If it was in the past and he was in a relationship (good or bad) I'd worry that he would go that route again, this time with me as the unknowing partner.

If he said he would do it again while he was in a relationship with me, I'd kick his ass to the curb. Having sex with anyone else, professional or otherwise, is a complete no-no for me and would kill the relationship on the spot. I wouldn't have a problem with him doing pain play with someone else as long as I was in the room and there was no sexual contact between them.

But then again, I'm fortunate to have found a monogamous sadist who prefers beating my ass to anyone else's

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 8:43:57 AM

LaTigresse

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I kind of find myself flipping back and forth on it.

My logical brain is saying stuff like "What's the big deal? No one got cheated on. It is what you would advise." etc etc etc.... BUT my emotional gut thing just goes "Yuck.....I mean REALLY?!? You had to have it THAT BAD???"

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 6

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 9:01:33 AM

coookie

Posts: 541
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I think it would depend upon the motivation. I think many people think that professionals have some magic secret powers that make them substantially better than anyone else so if they tried it to see what it would be like .. okay. If it were a regular option, not so much okay.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 7

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 10:08:43 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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I would have no problems with that at all. I would see it as a stop-gap to get his needs met until he could find a relationship. No harm, no foul. Provided of course that safe sex was practiced.

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(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 10:13:25 AM

HeatherMcLeather

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From: The dog house
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It wouldn't make any difference whatsoever to me, a position that should surprise nobody.

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 10:16:03 AM

PeonForHer

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Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
How would YOU feel if you found out a partner had, in the past, when not in a relationship, paid for the services of a professional?

As a male with (presumably) a female partner, I'd be fascinated, and I'd probably find it at least a bit funny.

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 10:51:24 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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I would have no problem with it whether He had done it while not in a relationship or while in one.

I would have no problem if He was doing it currently as long as we can afford it, which we can.

I would really, really hope that I would be included in the action but, if not, I would understand.

I have no self-righteous attitudes about hiring professionals and think it should be legal in all cases as long as they are adults.

It is simply one more avenue of finding satisfaction and pleasure. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it and actually find it pretty hot.

luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 9/25/2011 10:52:05 AM >

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 10:58:09 AM

slaveluci

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From: Little Rock, AR
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And, in reply to some of the other responses, I don't see hiring a pro as something you do because you need it "so bad" or something you do because you're simply too lazy to seek out a "regular" date. I see it as a very direct route to get pleasure and not have any strings attached. I have much more respect for a person who goes to a pro and says here's some money, here's what I want, that will be the sum total of our interaction than I do someone who goes out and plays a "regular" person to get some action and then possibly hurts them by leaving it at just that and only that. To me, it's a very direct, simple exchange where both parties get what they seek in a business transaction with no unreasonable expectations on either part. And it can also be really fun if done correctly

luci

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Post #: 12

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 12:46:22 PM

Epytropos

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I wouldn't give a fuck. Nothing wrong with prostitution.

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 12:57:56 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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If he'd seen a pro dominant, no big deal. Prostitutes, I would have to know the circs. I have no issue with prostitution, I have encountered men who thought it "wasn't cheating" if they paid for it.

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 1:03:19 PM

Wolf2Bear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

How would YOU feel if you found out a partner had, in the past, when not in a relationship, paid for the services of a professional?

Other than being mildly curious, I really wouldn't think too much of what they done in the past. They probably had their own reasons why they felt they needed to seek the services of a "pro" and since that is in their past: it will remain in their past in my eyes.

_____________________________

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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Post #: 15

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 1:10:28 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Interesting topic, LaT.

It would not bother me in the least, if he practiced safe sex. I see nothing wrong with legitimate pro domming or prostitution for that matter. If my dom man told me he needed to hire a pro sub to get some of his needs fulfilled, I'd be helping him figure out how we could fit it into the budget, not to mention who to hire.

Of course, if he told me he wanted another fem sub, I would help him with that, too. I love him, I want him happy.

We have a solid foundation of love, respect, and trust; relationships with other people just don't effect that.

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Post #: 16

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 1:12:57 PM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I wouldnt have a problem, provided safe sex practices were in place..

This.

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Post #: 17

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 1:20:42 PM

dovie

Posts: 1211
Status: offline

Having lived in other countries, It's my opinion that prostitution should be legalized in America. We could follow the health requirements some other countries use, such as Germany.

As for past stuff, I wouldn't care as long as said person is healthy.

Ma'am, as I sit here wishing I could have a good old fashioned flogging, I would consider a Pro-Dom vs all the stuff I would have to deal with. I have Dominants I can ask, but I don't want to suck their dick, feel obligated to them, stay after to eat, be imposed upon later on , have it be anybody elses business. And spammit, I want someone that knows what the hay they are doing and knows how to flog correctly and with endurance.....wait, wait...the jaded slave in me is out. No disrespect Ma'am, but let me put this bitch back in. LOL...hugs to you.

dovie

< Message edited by dovie -- 9/25/2011 1:22:13 PM >

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RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 1:43:29 PM

agirl

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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

And, in reply to some of the other responses, I don't see hiring a pro as something you do because you need it "so bad" or something you do because you're simply too lazy to seek out a "regular" date. I see it as a very direct route to get pleasure and not have any strings attached. I have much more respect for a person who goes to a pro and says here's some money, here's what I want, that will be the sum total of our interaction than I do someone who goes out and plays a "regular" person to get some action and then possibly hurts them by leaving it at just that and only that. To me, it's a very direct, simple exchange where both parties get what they seek in a business transaction with no unreasonable expectations on either part. And it can also be really fun if done correctly

luci

My thoughts entirely.

agirl

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Post #: 19

RE: Would you think less of...... - 9/25/2011 2:01:42 PM

BlueSlackEmperor

Posts: 9
Joined: 9/25/2011
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i wouldn't care even a little. the notion of feeling some kind of moralistic bourgeois sanctimony about sex workers or their clients is literally as incoherent to me as racism, classism, or homophobia.

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Post #: 20

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