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Is doing all household tasks worth a person's living ex... - 9/25/2011 9:57:18 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		To derail a derail......

Do you (whomever you are and whatever your part of the power exchange/service dynamic) feel that having a person entirely devoted to caring for.....home, personal affairs, whatever... is worth the expense of properly providing for that person.

If yes, why and how? If no, why and how?

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:03:47 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		Assuming you mean there wouldn't be a relationship nope, I would just as soon hire a service or do it myself. Why? At least the person from the service would be well trained to provide the service whereas the other way it could POTENTIALLY result in a job not-so well done. Chances are I would just continue to do it myself and save the money for something else.

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:08:59 AM   
CeriseNin


Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline 		In a loving relationship, yes, I'd be willing to financially provide for her.

If it's a no relationship situation and she expects me to be her sugar momma - - Hell. No. I'd either do it all my self, or hire a service if I really needed someone to do it for me.

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:09:22 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		For me personally, the answer would be a resounding no. I'm really not that high maintenance in terms of personal care. I live in an 1,100 square foot townhouse, and frankly, there just isn't enough upkeep to justify my supporting a person. All of the yard work is taken care of by the Homeowner's Association, so the person wouldn't even have to take care of that.

For others, the situation could be different. Some people like a higher degree of personal care, e.g. someone to help them get dressed in the morning, make their breakfast, greet them at the door with a drink when they get home, give them a massage, have their dinner on the table waiting for them, etc. They might live in a larger home that requires a great deal of upkeep and need the person to attend to the yard and garden as well. There might be small children in the household requiring care. For a person in this situation, it might be worth it, but for me it definitely isn't.

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:10:03 AM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  So now you're devoting an entire thread to a rebuttal of someone's fantasies?  You people are rapidly losing perspective.


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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:10:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		No, it's not.

Being a person who is already married and poly, I don't have the same financial loopholes that other folks have who are single and would be including another person.  Medical insurance?  Nope.  They can't be added.  I would have to pay for a policy for them, even though we don't pay a financial cost for ours now.  (That's before we even start talking about co-payments for actual medical, dental, etc visits.)  Income tax deductions for supporting another person?  Nope.  No link related as a family member.  Car insurance?  Nope.  I'd have to get a separate policy because the additional driver is not a family member. 

Just with those things above, not even counting food, shelter, clothing, and personal expenses, I've already spent WAY more than what it would cost to hire a maid for the required cleaning that it takes to keep up a house after two people (MP and Myself).  The cost is so far over the benefit that it's laughable.


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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:11:20 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I think in today's difficult economy it would be a difficult one to justify.

When times get tough, unless you're in a seriously secure job with a huge salary, it's just not going to be worth the expense. For many of us it's the frills that are cut first from the budget - fewer new clothes/books/holidays/cars/whatever. Supporting another adult just so you don't have to cook, clean or mow the lawn would fall firmly under the heading of 'frills' in my book.

As has been pointed out many times before, there is no such thing as job security in a recession (and let's face it, that's where we are heading). What happens to the live-in 'help' when the wage-earner has to take a pay-freeze, pay-cut or loses their job? They're going to be out on their ear with no home, no money, nothing.

Now, if there was a relationship involved, would that make a difference? To be honest, I don't think so. If it all went to hell in a handbasket on the employment front for the breadwinner, then the priority switches to looking after number one, and number two is kicked to the curb to look after him/herself.



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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:13:32 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I've had what I called house-husbands, that I supported so they could take care of all things so that my off work time was spent with them and doing whatever we wanted to do. They never just took care of the household and me and always had something else going on that was for their betterment. It worked and it worked well.

However, I cannot afford that now and haven't been able to for a very long time. If I could afford it, yes, I would love it.

Having said that much... I do have to add because of the derailment elsewhere... lol... he must know how to do these things. If he can't fit me as a partner, plus cook and clean and learn what he doesn't know and have other interests outside of this... NO!

It is about my convenience, our comforts, lifestyle and our future, not his escape because he cannot make it out in the world and this is the easier route, because it isn't going to be easy. lol


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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:13:54 AM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		In theory, yes.  I love the idea of having a sub keeping my apartment sparkling clean, having a delicious hot meal on the table when I come home from work, serve me a drink and massage my feet after he's cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes.  Having a boy run my errands for me during the day is another big plus. 

I earn enough money to support someone, not extravagantly, but he would be properly clothed, fed and have a nice place to live, maybe even have a car to drive around during the day to run errands. 

But, this being the U.S. and no universal healthcare, I could not afford to pay for health insurance for my sub, especially if he was around my age.  Unless I marry him and put him on my insurance or he is independently wealthy and has his own insurance, this is a significant roadblock to me having a boy live with me and not work.  Of course, if he was independently wealthy I wouldn't need to support him at all.





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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:15:31 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am trying to understand the mindset (aside from the one really crazy poster) that some people seem to have, of doing a bit of housework makes that person so valuable. (and perhaps lure that one crazy into centralizing their crazy)

Here at Hacienda on the Hill.....we both work. We each pay approximately 50% of the household expenses (except I pay all animal expenses because they are my addition to the household, my choice to have) We share what needs to be done although I freely admit, Generic Dude does most of the house cleaning. There is no kink involved, no power exchange relationship persay. We simply do what needs to be done to keep things running smoothly and up to shared standards.

That being said, it is very difficult for me to understand the expectation from either M,D/s, that doing the things that we do on a daily basis without a thought of power exchange or return value.....that a person should get some sort of compensation for doing, shit that just needs to get done.

I can understand if a person lives in some grand mansion, has a grand estate, and/or a personal life that requires more work that the average bear, but I do not believe that most people have that, above average, lifestyle. If GD and I can do what needs to be done in a few hours a week with ample time for our full time jobs and having fun, spending time with friends and family.......where is the value in providing completely for another human being to do what we already do?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:16:46 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		depends. If we're married, I'm kinda traditional in that the wife provides for  her family...husband and children by tending to the home and the children and supporting her husband. That in itself is a full-time job from my own experience.

If we're not married and only living together and there are no children involved then you need to bring more to the table than just cooking and cleaning.


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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:18:34 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

  So now you're devoting an entire thread to a rebuttal of someone's fantasies?  You people are rapidly losing perspective.



No it is you who's perspective is skewed.

I am devoting a thread to trying to understand a mindset of a desired reality. It has nothing to do with fantasy.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Awareness)
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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:19:01 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

Now, if there was a relationship involved, would that make a difference? To be honest, I don't think so. If it all went to hell in a handbasket on the employment front for the breadwinner, then the priority switches to looking after number one, and number two is kicked to the curb to look after him/herself.


I don't know about that; if the person were willing to look for work, I wouldn't end the relationship, at least not right away. If he didn't follow through, yes I would end it but not before giving him a chance.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:23:13 AM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Do you (whomever you are and whatever your part of the power exchange/service dynamic) feel that having a person entirely devoted to caring for.....home, personal affairs, whatever... is worth the expense of properly providing for that person.

If yes, why and how? If no, why and how?

lol I know exactly which derail you are talking about because I just came from there.

No, I wouldn't do it. For myself, I don't think that's worth the expense. (1)I really enjoy doing those things for myself actually, (2)if he lived here he'd be around all the time and I'd no longer have my own space, (3)I'd rather have someone do things for me every so often as a special treat/service because they want to, not because they're getting paid for it and (4)supporting them and having them around constantly would, to me, seem more like they were a live-in housekeeper rather than a submissive .

That being said, Daddy and do share living space, but we both have incomes so neither is supporting the other. Also I happen to do all the housework and most of the cooking (1)because I enjoy it and (2)he doesn't. When I ask my submissive to do those things, though, he does and it seems like a special treat/being pampered, which is how I like it.

~Hisprettybaby~

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:28:13 AM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		well,.. since i am a submissive i guess Doms would expect me to be the one to clean, cook, take care of kids (if there were any) and unfortunately, although i can get into the mood to cook,.. i am not a Martha Stewart/domestic type.. I know my limitations.. lol

If either single or in a relationship, I would rather work a little longer, harder, smarter to come up with extra $$$ to hire someone to cook (part-time), someone to clean and someone to be a governess to any subsequent kids... (those most likely would be different people, btw)..


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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:29:43 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

To derail a derail......

Do you (whomever you are and whatever your part of the power exchange/service dynamic) feel that having a person entirely devoted to caring for.....home, personal affairs, whatever... is worth the expense of properly providing for that person.

If yes, why and how? If no, why and how?


Heh. That's actually kind of part of what I do to earn a living. That is, I live and work at a female friend's house for alternate weeks. While I'm there, I do pretty much every job involved in restoring her house - all the building, plumbing, wiring, etc, etc, etc. A great deal more than just cleaning (which, on reflection, I don't do much of there).

This isn't a D/s relationship and the friendship is entirely platonic. But, say a woman had a run-down house, was into a D/s relationship with me (and I with her) . . . would I do it? Yes, I'm pretty sure I would. I'd have to earn *some* money doing it, but I guess we could come to some kind of weird and wacky arrangement.

Fascinating thought, actually. I could even write a story about it based on that premise. Fun!

How *she'd* feel about that, though, I have no idea. I can't 'ponce around' doing this kind of work. I have to focus on it and can't get distracted too much. And I *have* to wear the right clothing.

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:33:26 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		that reminds me about when I owned my last  home. It  had soooo many problems and work that had to be done that I probably would have had no problems at all with providing food, gas, place to stay, etc...for someone to do all the work that had to be done on it. It would have been a win/win deal for me and providing amenities would have been cheaper than hiring contractors which ended up costing me out the wazoo.

So yeah in that situation, I definitely would have done it.



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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:36:31 AM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I wouldn't do it. It's not feasible or economic in my opinion. In my household we have somewhat of a D/s dynamic, but we both contribute to bills. He tends to pay more of the bills than I do. It's his own personal choice to do that though. I tend to buy more of the groceries simply because I'm on WW and I require specific things and they tend to be more expensive. I tend to take care of more of the household duties. I cook and clean. However, lately with both of us having insanely busy schedules we tend to do whatever task is needed when it's needed. Some weeks he vacuums the house, sometimes I do. Sometimes one of us walks the dogs while the other makes dinner. This allows us to both have downtime or free time.

While we have that D/s dynamic and he tends to be more in control of things we still function as a team/unit. We do things that will make life easier for us. If we work together to get things done then that allows us more time to spend together. If I have an exam and don't have time to cook dinner or clean the shower he doesn't get his pants all in a bunch and huff and puff. He just rolls up his sleeves and pitches in. He wants to see me succeed and do well. I represent him and it would make little sense to spend the money on school, fail, and miss opportunities just to make his dinner or clean the shower.

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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:40:21 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		The problems I see in this type of situation is that if you cannot assure medical and retirement, beyond the current needs, I don't see it as a viable option. It just isn't smart to ignore the future needs. If you do live it and break up... that alimony situation can be a killer. lol

It isn't a matter of what it would cost to have a housekeeper or cook and a balancing of the two, but about a relationship and lifestyle. I wanted my guys available to take a trip at any time. If they had to answer to an employer, that couldn't always happen. It was a selfish and self indulgent lifestyle I could not maintain after my illness manifested and then became a situation where I couldn't even be insured much less, insure someone else or prepare for the future.

Worth it to me... yes. Worth it to them at this point? NO! lol However with my new endeavors of late... I sure wish I had someone as house-hubby! lol


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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 10:45:55 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I do think the fantasy is fabulous. Lord knows I would love to come home from work, take care of my animals (because that is MY thing) and then do whatever the hell I wanted on evenings and weekends.

But yeah, I am a big picture kinda person. I demand that I prepare as best I can for worst case scenarios. Illness, forced retirement, just everything. I know that while I could feed, clothe, and house another person......I cannot afford a health insurance policy for them, I cannot afford to insure another driver with....? driving record. I cannot afford to create another nest egg/retirement plan.

And, I know that caring for me and mine is NOT a full time position. There is only so much cleaning this cute little house on the hill needs. I suppose I could demand they trim 3 acres of lawn with scissors or shovel the lane with a soup spoon but that really isn't my kink.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Lockit)
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