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RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 11:18:17 PM   
avena


Posts: 80
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		I'm going to take the risk of answering for D, since he doesn't visit these forums...

Quite simply, yes. It is worth it.

I run his errands for him. Do the grocery shopping. Do all of the household chores. Make sure he has dinner ready for when he gets home from work. And keep him damn happy in whatever other way I possibly can in the meantime.

It's important to him that I'm able to match his schedule, which means that any job I did acquire would have to be part time and very flexible. But that's fine with me. I like taking care of him. And I know that he's in a secure financial position, otherwise I wouldn't have even considered allowing myself to be a financial drain. I also know that he's very carefully considered the pros and cons, including the financial ones, of having myself and my daughter living here. That's the kind of person he is. And I completely trust him, that if he says the pros way outweight the cons, then I'm satisfied that our being here won't put him at financial risk.

One of the things that is important to our situtation is the fact I do have a professional background. He's well aware that if financial difficulty ever struck, I'd be more than capable of going back into my profession and finding a good paying job that would help balance things out. He knows that I already have a retirement plan in place, that I just need enough income to maintain it, which he is willing to help provide. And of course, we live in Canada, with universal healthcare, so worrying about health insurance isn't an issue for us. Plus, there's the fact that, living common law as we would be with a child in the house, he can put me on his health benefits through work without the need for us to get married first.

We have 'negotiated' flexible terms that work for us. If things change, then we'll address those changes. But in the meantime, I'm more than happy to be houseslave in whatever way he wants.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 11:27:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I admit I love being at Master's beck and call. Since I moved I haven't returned to work and instead I've gone back to college. Being I have many online classes I have time to be able to cook, clean, do his laundry, be his secretary, run any errands he needs, organize his place, fix things, etc...it's nice not having to make a choice between work and Master.

I know one day I'll have to return back to work but until then I'm quite content.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to avena)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/25/2011 11:41:54 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		I am not seeing "millions of husbands" making it work. I am seeing a lot of families where the wife gave up work to stay home, and now they are hurting, either the husband has lost their job or taken a cut in pay. It isn't that easy for the wife to find a job, with no real skills. Then they lose their house, then they go bankrupt and on and on. All these former one income families are barely making it, let alone sending their kids to college. Things are tough now, god knows what it will be like when they retire.
My ex actually offered to support me and have me stay home with the kids. We could have easily afforded it. I am so happy that I didn't do that. I think I might have enjoyed it, but I also would have missed a lot of experiences, and frankly, I would have felt like a free loader.
Heather, I can tell you can live without much. Not all of us are like that. It is all well and good to want to stay home and serve, but personally, I am glad I made the choice to continue working. It allows me to support myself very comfortably as a single person AND allowed my kids to get free and clear college educations. Now how is that for service?
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

Because remember, it isn't just a matter of supporting someone while you are earning an income, you also will have to provide for them when you both reach retirement age. Who can afford that?
Hundreds of millions of husbands the world over?


< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 9/26/2011 12:28:50 AM >

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 12:24:02 AM   
avena


Posts: 80
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline 		..What littlewonder just said!!


I love being there for D, whenever he wants me. I love being able to surprise him by making homemade raisin bread (his favourite) during the day, so that when he comes home from work, the whole house smells mouthwateringly good, and there's a fresh loaf just out of the oven for him to devour. I love being able to get all the housework and errands and all the other little day to day things done during the 6 days he works, so we can have the 6 days off of his schedule to just do whatever we want, together.

I love love love not having to make a choice between D, and meeting the demands of an impersonal boss who doesn't give two craps about me or my life, as long as I get the job done.

One of my friends once asked me if I was sure what I was doing, with D (they have no clue about the BDSM part of our relationship)...I told them yep! I'm completely sure...

I've found my happy place...

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 12:26:29 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		communicable illness.. Love your sheer fabrication here. oh gosh. You are so ignorant it defies logic, so mental illness is now communicable, i think the word You are looking for is contagious. Let me just enlighten You, mental illness is NOT contagious, what does contagious mean , it can spread from one person to another, just to reassure You, this is urban Legend , Your highness Pact, mental illness cannot repeat CANNOT be spread from one person to another, it is NOT like measles or such, think of it like cancer, do you think all people who have cancer are going to be able to spread their disease, NO, and just to bring you back to school girl basics, mental illness, is very surprisingly and all that, actually , Psychological in nature , it is not , illness like a bug or the flu
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 12:28:46 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Communicable illness. LMFAO at the sheer lunacy of this statement
kevin

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 12:36:04 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

I am not seeing "millions of husbands" making it work.
You're not really looking, that's why. There is a world beyond middle class America where the "traditional" model is pretty much the norm.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 12:53:54 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Thanks arpig, that was informative as always.
My mother was a housewife. My dad earned enough to keep her in blue boxes, but she never seemed very happy. Her mother, on the other hand, worked a large cattle ranch in Wyoming, alongside her husband. As did my grandmother's mother. Same thing on my dad's side. In fact, his grandmother ran the ranch for large periods of time by herself while her husband was gallivanting around the world. So, at least in my family, except for my mother, I didn't see a lot of "traditional housewives".
In other countries I have visited, including ones with a much different standard of living than "middle class America", the women didn't seem to be hanging out at home catering to hubbies' every need, they seemed to be working their asses off, trying to feed and clothe their families. From what I can tell from my own family and what I know of this country's history, and what I have seen in other places, the whole stay at home wife thing was very much a product of the urbanization of this country after world war 2. Before that, a wife who strictly stayed at home, without working at least in a family run business, was something only the very rich could afford.

< Message edited by Iamsemisweet -- 9/26/2011 12:55:33 AM >

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 1:39:53 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		Like I said, you don't see it because you're not wanting to see it.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 1:42:05 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Whatever. What other people do has no bearing on my life, as long as I don't have to support them. Which I guess is my answer to this thread.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 2:36:42 AM   
AdorkableAiley


Posts: 920
Joined: 9/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I am not seeing "millions of husbands" making it work. I am seeing a lot of families where the wife gave up work to stay home, and now they are hurting, either the husband has lost their job or taken a cut in pay. It isn't that easy for the wife to find a job, with no real skills. Then they lose their house, then they go bankrupt and on and on. All these former one income families are barely making it, let alone sending their kids to college. Things are tough now, god knows what it will be like when they retire.
My ex actually offered to support me and have me stay home with the kids. We could have easily afforded it. I am so happy that I didn't do that. I think I might have enjoyed it, but I also would have missed a lot of experiences, and frankly, I would have felt like a free loader.
Heather, I can tell you can live without much. Not all of us are like that. It is all well and good to want to stay home and serve, but personally, I am glad I made the choice to continue working. It allows me to support myself very comfortably as a single person AND allowed my kids to get free and clear college educations. Now how is that for service?
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

Because remember, it isn't just a matter of supporting someone while you are earning an income, you also will have to provide for them when you both reach retirement age. Who can afford that?
Hundreds of millions of husbands the world over?



Things are ALWAYS tough. I listen to the world around me and hear Americans complain about the economy and yeah it sucks right now but these stories, they are not unique. These are the stories my parents told about how things were when they were growing up and the stories I heard from my grandparents about their childhood. Economy is always takeing one step forward and two steps back, right now we have taken two steps back but we are far from alone in this situation. This is not the first time people have faced high unemployment and low job markets.

Inept government aside, I don't think we live in a time where staying home is wize, but it has been that way for years.

Ailey the tangent maker

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 3:39:15 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I admit I love being at Master's beck and call. Since I moved I haven't returned to work and instead I've gone back to college. Being I have many online classes I have time to be able to cook, clean, do his laundry, be his secretary, run any errands he needs, organize his place, fix things, etc...it's nice not having to make a choice between work and Master.

I know one day I'll have to return back to work but until then I'm quite content.



i admit, that this is what i would rather do. i'd much rather be able to focus on my family.
since our plan was to make our living off the land, we could've done that while also working together, which would've been ideal.

i am not, nor have i ever been opposed to working. i like working, actually; it makes me feel like i'm contributing to something.

anyway, to the OP, i wouldn't really think of it in terms of worth. if i had a Master who wanted me to stay at home, i would do it because that was what he wanted. since that is what he wanted, i'd figure it was worth it to him.


_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 7:09:25 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Regarding the 'millions making it work'.

I know quite a few couples/families, where only the adult male works. The financial situation of those family units are not one that I would want to put myself into. Most have not been able to purchase a home and are forced to rent. Usually in a less than desirable environment. Most drive less than safe, vehicles. Several push the legal limits by not maintaining required insurance of vehicles because they cannot afford it. None will be able to send a child to college unless that child gets scholarships and lots of student loans. Most have had less than stellar health care over the years (lack of good dental care, etc). All live, paycheck to paycheck, one crisis away from a major financial catastrophe.

Certainly there are many people that do it. Certainly there are many people that are financially able to do it well, as a few here have written about. My personal experience is that it is often a life on the edge, in many ways. It comes down to what risk we are each comfortable with. Because I am financially conservative and not comfortable with a lot of big risk (been there done that, don't ever want to be there again) my choices will be influenced by that. Others, that either do not care, OR, are comfortable with risk........will have a different method of measuring what choices to make. And others are fortunate to have the resources to make it work with very little risk.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 7:23:00 AM   
AneNoz


Posts: 263
Joined: 4/26/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Having a slave is a privilege afforded to those who have the will and have demonstrated the ability to do well enough to afford one.
This is as it should be. One who would claim a slave as owned yet refuse the responsibility for said slave is but playing Let Us Pretend.

Be at peace
Aneka

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 8:02:25 AM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i admit, that this is what i would rather do. i'd much rather be able to focus on my family.
since our plan was to make our living off the land, we could've done that while also working together, which would've been ideal.

i am not, nor have i ever been opposed to working. i like working, actually; it makes me feel like i'm contributing to something.

anyway, to the OP, i wouldn't really think of it in terms of worth. if i had a Master who wanted me to stay at home, i would do it because that was what he wanted. since that is what he wanted, i'd figure it was worth it to him.

living off the land... I grew up like that, on a small farm. My father just worked on the farm. My poor mother had 3 jobs, working on the farm, working in town as a nurse, and taking care of us kids... It was the income from her being a nurse that keep the farm out of the banks hands... She told me a few years ago, if she had to do it all over again, that she would not have married my father and lived that hard life... I was really shocked by her telling me that, but in remembering what it was like growing up, I didnt blame her for having those feelings.

I dont actually think i could stay at home fulltime, I dont like depending on someone else to keep a roof over my head, I feel that would put me in a precarious position. I cant work for someone else, I need to work for myself and that would give me enough flexibility to take care of my guy and the important home stuff (in addition to hiring someone to come in and help when needed).

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 9:53:37 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Also, just because the millions making it work are squeezing by day to day does not mean that they will be able to do so when the one spouse retires, and their income is cut further. Which I believe was my point in the first place.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to tj444)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 10:21:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Where in My prior post regarding illnesses did I specifically mention mental illnesses?  I was talking exactly about such things like flu which are very easily spread from one person to another.

However, now that the door has been opened, it also proves My point about those who have conditions that require continual medical treatment for either physical or mental health conditions.  It wouldn't be any more intelligent for someone who needs ongoing medications and treatment for their mental health to have no medical insurance than it would for someone with diabetes.  Such conditions are over and above short term illnesses that can happen. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 10:49:56 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

I am not seeing "millions of husbands" making it work.
You're not really looking, that's why. There is a world beyond middle class America where the "traditional" model is pretty much the norm.


Let's have some stats. I'll do my part and provide the US:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States

The 2006 economic survey also found that households in the top two income quintiles, those with an annual household income exceeding $60,000, had a median of two income earners while those in the lower quintiles (2nd and middle quintile) had median of only one income earner per household.

There's a few interesting charts:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States#Household_income
The mean number of earners is 1.35 - can anyone find raw numbers and convert that into single and double income households?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States#Social_class

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 11:00:46 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		in my region where I grew up, even still today, very few women work outside the home due to their christian values. Most of them like it that way from what I know of them. They enjoy taking care of their families, having time to teach their children morals and values, listen to them, teach them traditional ways.

If you travel overseas I think you'd find a lot of cultures as well where women don't work either due to traditions or religion or simply their cultural mores.




_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Is doing all household tasks worth a person's livin... - 9/26/2011 11:22:49 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I have both traveled and lived overseas. I'm not objecting to the principle of stay at home wives, in fact, I whole heartedly support it when children are involved. My objection is "Hundreds of millions of husbands the world over" that is not backed by stats.

I wonder how to count subsistence farmers, where no one is earning cash yet everyone is working.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 100
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