RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go?

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/28/2011 12:07:39 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

i've followed my heart a few times, and gotten burnt. Since then it's fair to say i follow my head. sex is about the last thing to discuss with a prospective partner.

We haven't really gotten to much into talking about sex yet, other than stupid jokes.
Mainly when cuddling, jokes about the flashlight poking me, and twisting it to turn it off.
He is a gentleman.

According to your life, make drama.

If it's worth a million steps, you'll just get going. If you wonder about how well your shoes will manage the disitance, you won't.

IE......yYu know it's all a big risk. He is one of the potential *super -duper* guys out there.......If the circumstances of 5 hrs, render that a *difficulty* then I think THAT is your issue. As in the mutaul * your*.

agirl

If anyone has a problem following my shoody post I'll repost with a bit'o clarity.

< Message edited by agirl -- 9/28/2011 12:09:01 PM >

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/28/2011 2:04:50 PM

LafayetteLady

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No problems following at all. I think what you said makes perfect sense. There are thousands of schools all over the US, but great guys? Not so much.

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 12:10:46 AM

SophiaChan

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My dear... I quite agree with the sentiments of Aileen1968, MissImmortalPain, and littlewonder.... so, I won't repeat them, but they make the most sense to me.

I too am in a ldr and it sucks. This is the third time that we have had to spend 5+ months apart. It is really horrible and miserable and lonely and sad. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. But, I obviously still find it worth everything. When you have found someone that makes your heart sing... eventually your mind understands and adjusts to see the value and not just the pain in the experience. Know that you are not alone in loving someone from afar. Absence absolutely does make the heart grow fonder, if you let it.

Don't over think it too much, it doesn't really help. We do not live in tomorrow we can only live today. So, just keep doing what is working for you today and it sounds to me like you are exactly where you are supposed to be today. Studying, recovering, and finding connection in someone new. Instead of worrying what might or might not happen next weekend, next month, next year, just try hard to find the beauty in the relationship you are being blessed with right now.

You are more than welcome to contact me if you need new friends. I too was bedridden for some time from an accident and know how miserable that can be. Based on everything you've told us so far, I see many things in common between us. I wish you the best!

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 4:06:04 AM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

Don't over think it too much, it doesn't really help. We do not live in tomorrow we can only live today. So, just keep doing what is working for you today and it sounds to me like you are exactly where you are supposed to be today. Studying, recovering, and finding connection in someone new. Instead of worrying what might or might not happen next weekend, next month, next year, just try hard to find the beauty in the relationship you are being blessed with right now.

This. If you live in the future, which isn't set anyway, you will miss the awesomeness of the NOW. Things seem to be going well, why worry about what might or might not happen? I suggest just keeping things status quo, it seems to be working. Continue getting to know each other, finish school and then make a decision. It seems to me that you are over-analyzing things, just let them BE. Since you can't move to be with him now anyway, why make a decision now anyway.

Zeph

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 6:43:29 AM

tolovetolaugh

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Thank you all. It may be a moot point anyway. While our relationship right now is clearly not just friends... We text back and forth constantly, quite a few of them on both sides being mushy crap. We still talk for hours every night on the phone. every morning I wake up to a text saying, "good morning moon of my life". And respond with , "my sun and stars!"
(Oh yeah, we are geeky like that

)
Our conversations are always delving into joking less then platonic things. We are already talking about me coming to visit in two weeks.
However the man is... irritating and I think a bit confused. I will quote some texts from last night, and he is being sincere.

quote:

Fuck. I suck at the platonic friend thing with you. Keeps going back to sex really easily. And I don't want to see you just as that.

quote:

Plus it wouldn't be fair to you. You have work, family, friends and school all down there. Last thing I want to genuinely do is start something between us.

quote:

Not that I don't think it'd be fun, or not work. I think we could. But distance sucks. So I'd rather you be available down there and meet a better guy in Delaware.

Cause that's what every woman wants to hear.
I am not sure what to make of that, and responded saying if he ever tries to thrust me towards another guy again, I will come up there for the exclusive reason of punching him in the balls.
I got no response to that, but this morning.... "good morning moon of my life".

Damn confusing men!

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 7:43:47 AM

Iamsemisweet

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This probably isn't easy for him either.

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 7:59:48 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

This probably isn't easy for him either.

Words of truth. LDR's are tough on all parties concerned. And the post meet crashes tend to be brutal, full of lots of self examination

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 10:33:08 AM

Winterapple

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If you love animals running with the
bulls is probably not something you
would want to be part of.
Do a little research on what happens
to the bulls before and after the run.

Five hours doesn't seem that far to me.
Why does it have to be a all or nothing
thing? There are realistic ways to explore
a long distance relationship. And ways to
maintain them if you decide it's worth the
effort.
Try to use your head and your heart.
Both have wisdom, both have biases.

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/29/2011 3:23:23 PM

LafayetteLady

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Yea, guys can suck like that, lol. As others said, it probably isn't easy for him either, but did you consider responding with a question of whether or not he would want to? This is coming out clear, sorry for that. You will always have family and friends at home, but it is far from unheard of that someone move away from family and friends, whether it be for love, a job or because a spouse is transferred.

Some people would be delighted to have 5 hours between their family and them, lol. Close enough that you can get there when you need/want, but far enough away they aren't ever bothersome.

Look, the way you write about this guy, you two could have one of those rare, great romances. And they are rare. Do you really want to wonder later in life, "what if?" No guts, no glory.

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RE: Heart VS Head-How far would you go? - 9/30/2011 1:14:13 AM

Sailasub

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You said you stopped short of sex... and it's all about having fun.

Have Sex.

Despite everything else being perfect you may find this is an area where you are not compatible. And then things go poof and you are just friends. If that is wonderful then at least you will enjoy that and it's more fun. If you can't have intercourse due to your situation at least give him a BJ!!!

If you are not sure how he feels you better find out before making plans to move. You may get along great for short periods and on the phone but living together could be hell... So consider moving up to where he is during winter and summer breaks to see how annoying living together is. Also consider a semester at a school near his place with approval for "exchange study" - a stretch but worth asking about.

Don't just go... explore options for transferring credits. If it is a B.S. or B.A. then it does not matter which school as long as you have good grades. Vet school is much harder to switch and you are stuck.

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