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What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 7:50:07 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i see D/s as a means to an end; a truley fufilling LTR.  i want only one collar in all my life.  i am interested in O/others' views.
 
candystripper
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 9:15:38 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have fantasies of having a harem of males and a female or two who do my all my bidding, including being my sex slaves. Of course they have no limits and never say no, no matter what it is I ask of them to do. We all get along famously, there's no jealousy, no bickering its heavenly.

The REALITY though for me is I love my submissive and even though he says it wouldn't bother him if I took on another male sub. I know it WOULD bother him and it would eat away at him over time. I know as a Domme I'm not supposed to care what he thinks, but the reality of my situation is I DO care what he thinks. I want to be happy and I couldn't be knowing he was miserable.

We have discussed public play and maybe one day playing with others. Neither of us is in a rush because we are so into each other right now that we don't really have room for anyone else.

Do I really need those other slaves? Nope he keeps me happy and even though I do daydream of Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones running around naked wearing my collar as they do the housework, I really only want one person wearing my collar and thats jack.

BDSM to me is a special relationship between people who have similar or opposite needs that work together to fulfill one another. It can be two people or a group of people. In my case  I am a sadist, he is a masochist we both love rough sex, hard play and role playing. We are not 24/7 and are on equal terms outside of the bedroom, though it is understood that I make the final decisions.

Everyone's situation is different and what works for us may not work for other couples. But do what makes you happy and makes you feel complete.

~Lashra

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 9:46:27 AM   
babyblues


Posts: 80
Joined: 8/10/2005
Status: offline 		we have been together for over 19 years....i cannot imagine giving of myself or serving anyone, other than Him....
 
we have 3 children, a house, a dog, 2 silly parakeets.....and each other.....that is our Lifestyle

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 9:50:50 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i see D/s as a means to an end; a truley fufilling LTR.  i want only one collar in all my life.  i am interested in O/others' views.
 
candystripper

The question that you asked in the subject title is completely different from this question.

BDSM is a set of hobbies for me, things I enjoy doing.

M/s or D/s is a relationship dynamic based upon authority transfer. 

I form relationships with people based on whatever individual connection we happen to make.  This connection may change considerably over time (ie friends may become masters and vice versa).

As long as I have healthy connections in life, and am true to myself, then all is well.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 10:32:05 AM   
txpet


Posts: 200
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		To me BDSM relationships are just a matter of more more communication, more honesty, more trust and well-defined roles for the Participants.

Every relationship is different ... that is true inside of and outside of BDSM.
There are so many stereotypes of what BDSM *SHOULD* be and i think that is bad ... not only for BDSM society in general but for the participants specifically.
Vanilla people assume i should be meek and quiet ... if Master's order me to be, i might be temporarily ... otherwise, not even close.

Whatever works for you and Yours is what is right and good for you.

For me BDSM is easier than "normal" realtionships ... i don't have to try to figure out what to do or how He is reacting to something ... i don't have to try to interprete His words or actions.
Yet, for many people the balance between doing as you are told and making sure that your own needs are being met is quite difficult. If you are not finding any enjoyment in the activities or finding enjoyment in it solely because the other person enjoys it ... then there is something wrong.

i don't know if i have addressed your question or not. If not, i apologize.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 11:00:11 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i see D/s as a means to an end; a truley fufilling LTR.  i want only one collar in all my life.  i am interested in O/others' views.
 
candystripper


this slave interprets the acronym to stand for:
Bondage & Discipline...Dominance & Submission...Sadism & Masochism
 
the B&D...it sure as hell is lotsa fun, same thing with the S&M, it's the gravy...
the D&S is the main component, the relationship structure--there is one(or more) who is the controlling authority and one(or more) who Submits to that controlling authority. in a broad sense, it is further defined by those engaged in the relationship.  In this slave's relationship she submits wholly and completely, even turning every physical possession over to Him once this slave became His.  Literally, this slave trusts Him with her life as there is no part of her life that He does not have the ultimate authority over, not just the B&D and S&M scenarios where this slave's physical body could be in jeopardy if not in the care of His skilled hands and sharp mind.
 
As far as the wish for only one collar in this lifetime...
this slave is truly grateful to the Great Architect and to Master for the opportunity to serve such a wonderful man.  this slave intends to do so for as long as they both would see fit to graciously give this slave the opportunity.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 5/23/2006 11:01:46 AM >

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 11:01:19 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

To me BDSM relationships are just a matter of more more communication, more honesty, more trust and well-defined roles for the Participants.


In a perfect world perhaps.  But a bdsm relationship does not necessarily mean more communication or more honesty or more trust.  Those should be present regardless of the type of relationship you have.  I do agree with the well-defined roles for the participants, and that is one of the things that attracts me to the lifestyle.  Knowing what my role is, in specific, gives me more confidence within the relationship.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to txpet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 12:30:11 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		BDSM is more than D/s or M/s but it is to this point that I will speak.

I do not believe M/s or D/s is about romantic love.  I do not believe it is about equality.  I do not believe it is about sharing.  I do not believe it is about sex (well, conventional sex anyway).

I do believe the M/s and D/s are about control and authority transfer (great phrase LuckyAlbatross).  I do believe it is about ownership and all of the perks and responsibilities that entails.  I do believe that it is about roles.  I do believe it is about consent to non-consent right up until the 's' takes back their control and ends the dynamic.  I do believe that it can be as day-in-day-out as 24/7 but should not be limited to that arrangment only.

I also know that I have not experience this yet and so everything I believe and do not believe may go out the window when I do.

Wickad

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 12:37:57 PM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline 		My interpretation of BDSM is similiar to many others ...BDSM to me  is the practice of Bondage, Discipline,  Sadism and Masochism  I don't believe all D/s and or M/s relationships include BDSM....just as all BDSM relationships do not include the  D/s...M/s dynamic.

< Message edited by spankmepink11 -- 5/23/2006 1:35:01 PM >

(in reply to Wickad)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 1:16:36 PM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i see D/s as a means to an end; a truley fufilling LTR.  i want only one collar in all my life.  i am interested in O/others' views.
 
candystripper


There is nothing wrong with being monogmous just because other's don't see it that way.  There are many parallels between vanilla and D/S, and one of the most important ones has to do with partnering.  If you wish only to be with one person, it is totally up to you.


_____________________________

Dating sucks!

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 1:32:19 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Iam with spankme and LA here. We make BDSM an anonymic, and requires no 'interpretation' as such. D/s for me in the past was all about the fetish pleasure and that included BDSM but, that was not the relationship, only a very important part. M/s however...is. M/s is a bond that should be forever and a love affair like no other and can include 'all of the above.' Call it romantic love or not, it is love. I call it exotic love and have a post on D/s vs M/s myself, most of which is not in response to this particular query.

(in reply to iliv2servher)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 1:34:11 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		 
I am in agreement with beth on this.  For me, the acronym BDSM means:  

B/d (Bondage & discipline)
D/s (Dominance & submission (including Master/slave))
S/m (Sadism & masochism)

 Within the context of BDSM lives a plethora of beliefs and activities and lifestyles that work for all the different people who participate within it.
 
I will not have another life partner without some aspect of BDSM in our daily lives.  That is how much BDSM means to me.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 1:39:33 PM   
Kedikat


Posts: 680
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		It is a convenient but inadequate term to shortly inform someone as to a bit of the erotic, emotional, mental aspects of what I seek in a relationship.
I keep in mind that it means different things to different people, but gives a broad hint as to some basics.

To explain in detail what it is for Me, would take hours. And still be misinterpreted and confusing. Such is life. Searching for things that are so hard to even define.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 1:45:28 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		To me, BDSM and M/s are two different species which happen to hold hands together very well, but it's not necessary. One is 'done' the other is 'lived.' I guess that's why I completely understand the Gorean mindset that separates Gor from BDSM. They work well together, but they don't have to do so. I engage in BDSM.. I live M/s with Himself. One of these days, the arthritis is going to prevent the kneeling, old age is going to stop the whippings.. I won't need a blindfold because I'll actually be blind..  all that activity will go away, but the M/s will remain. The commitment which Himself and I share is one in which we have each vowed .. not to spank or be spanked.. but to serve or be served, to own or to be owned. That's the entree & dessert ... everything else is a side dish.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 1:49:23 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		    Lordy, I do hope I find what you have...   Thank you again, Celeste, for a beautiful post.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 3:17:31 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Boys Don't Spank Me

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 3:46:26 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

My interpretation of BDSM is similiar to many others ...BDSM to me  is the practice of Bondage, Discipline,  Sadism and Masochism  I don't believe all D/s and or M/s relationships include BDSM....just as all BDSM relationships do not include the  D/s...M/s dynamic.


i love these forums; i learn all the time.  TY miss.
 
candystripper

(in reply to spankmepink11)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 4:40:17 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i see D/s as a means to an end; a truley fufilling LTR.  i want only one collar in all my life.  i am interested in O/others' views.
 
candystripper


this slave interprets the acronym to stand for:
Bondage & Discipline...Dominance & Submission...Sadism & Masochism
 
the B&D...it sure as hell is lotsa fun, same thing with the S&M, it's the gravy...
the D&S is the main component, the relationship structure--there is one(or more) who is the controlling authority and one(or more) who Submits to that controlling authority. in a broad sense, it is further defined by those engaged in the relationship.  In this slave's relationship she submits wholly and completely, even turning every physical possession over to Him once this slave became His.  Literally, this slave trusts Him with her life as there is no part of her life that He does not have the ultimate authority over, not just the B&D and S&M scenarios where this slave's physical body could be in jeopardy if not in the care of His skilled hands and sharp mind.
 
As far as the wish for only one collar in this lifetime...
this slave is truly grateful to the Great Architect and to Master for the opportunity to serve such a wonderful man.  this slave intends to do so for as long as they both would see fit to graciously give this slave the opportunity.


Wooo hooo this is far too complex for me to even delve in. May I say this though? Perhaps there are as many D/s, S&M, BDSM, B&D (the combinations seem endless) as there are individuals partaking in them. How can we establish 'rules' here? The great thing is that it IS so diverse and that there are so many different 'kinks' or preferences. *curtesies*

_____________________________



(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 4:48:35 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		As Ked noted, this is a hard subject to give a short answer to.

I believe BDSM means Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. I believe D/s means dominance/submission and M/s means Master/Mistress/slave/submissive. While I can enjoy BDSM without D/s and D/s without BDSM, for me they tie together better than they do operated separately. That said, I agree with Celeste. One of these days, these hands that have spent my life working on other people, helping their bodies to heal, are going to be unable to hold a flogger or deliver a good spanking. These legs that have supported me as I bent people one way or another are going to have a hard time holding me up for any sort of scene that requires long-term standing. But...I will always be a dominant. I hope that there will always be someone submissive to me.

I would like to have one who eventually wears my collar until the day I am gone or she is. However, she will not be the first to have done so. While the beauty of a collar signifying a lifetime relationship is a beautiful picture and one I hope to attain, I am just realistic enough to realize that while there may be one who wears my collar because of what we share, she may not always be with me. If that happens, that will not be the end for me, nor for her.

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What is Y/your Interpretation of BDSM? - 5/23/2006 5:59:08 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i see D/s as a means to an end; a truley fufilling LTR.  i want only one collar in all my life.  i am interested in O/others' views.
 
candystripper


Through experience and exposure, I've learned many of the nuances and details of this lifestyle, yet what I wrote for my profile in "innocence" still holds fast for me.

"To me, D/s isn’t about rules for behavior... it isn’t about scenes or playing games... it isn’t about rituals and postures... it isn’t about pushing boundaries, kinky sex or living a lifestyle. A D/s relationship may include aspects of any or all of those things, but they are adopted out of the desire to titillate, heighten experiences, or maintain mindset.

The true heart of D/s is about giving. Each partner supplying what is needed to complete the other. It is a symbiotic relationship, plain and simple... the desire to be fulfilled and to fulfill the other borne out of mutual admiration, respect and trust. Each person reaping the benefits in whatever form they take."

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 20
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