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Frustrated - 10/3/2011 3:49:55 PM   
xxSarah


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/6/2011
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,
This site frustrates me so much. Every single domme I've encountered is a guy lying to me. Or I feel like they're too old for me. I know I'm kind of picky, but I mean I didn't think it would be that hard to find someone. I'm seriously like giving up. For all you successful people in a lesbian domme/sub relationship- how long did it take you?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 3:53:31 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Three years to become stalked by my perfect match.

_____________________________



(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 4:04:35 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		You know, there aren't a whole lot of Dommes out there, much less lesbian ones. I know it's frustrating but you're kind of in a niche market here...the simple fact of percentages aren't working in your favor. I'm sorry but I don't have any other advice other than to keep at it. That's all you can really do.

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 4:35:53 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Ten days? I forget. If it was two weeks, it was only because he didn't check his email right away. He didn't see my message for over a week.

But that's femdom/malesub. The odds are stacked way in my favor.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 6:27:13 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		 
According to your profile, you've only been on here around 5 months... certainly you're willing to look longer than that for happiness, yes/no?!!

I don't know if you're actively searching/emailing others that interest you, or just waiting for others to email you, but I'd obviously suggest doing both, as well as possibly being open to relocation.

Don't give up so easily... there's a reason for the old "Finding a needle in a haystack" expression.





_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 6:29:20 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		8 years...seriously...8 years. You've been here how long? 

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 6:45:36 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		The majority of people are honest. But one sure way to find the liars is to only talk to the 'best'. No one lies and says the own a Hyunda, you lie and say you have a Ferrari, or a Porshe, or whatever.

More importantly, people that actually own a Ferrari rarely brag about it - particularly to women that are looking for men that own a Ferrari.

I don't advise people to lower their standards - I advise them to upgrade them. Switch out the shallower stuff that people lie about for things that are more important to you.

In particular, each gender has the big three. These are things that the majority of people want. Most men want (in order) a thin, young, large breasted woman. Most women want (in order) a Tall, High Status, Rich man.

You can generally get someone with one of the big three. It is hard to find someone with two, let alone all three.

In BDSM people usually have it a bit easier - because not everyone is looking for the same thing. Some want pain, some don't. Some want control, some don't. I tend to advise people to concentrate on the things you want that other people don't want. You deal with less falsehood and are more likely to get what you truly NEED, as opposed to something that looks good on your arm

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 8:19:40 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Viewed your profile, the problem you have is that you heavily restricted your pool of potentials in an allready small niche of people. You want a young, fit Domme with a cam. The best chance you have to attracting this woman is to focus on what you have to offer such a woman. You list all of your "requirements" and absolutely nothing about what you have to offer this woman or who you are as a person. The most descriptive part of your entire profile is "I am nice." It's no surprise that you are frustrated, you have unrealistic expectations. Being attractive physically might get you a lot of views but having almost nothing in your profile is the reason why you are not getting contacts from the types of Dommes you seek.

Spend some time seriously thinking about your strengths, weaknesses, desires, and list them. List who you are, not what you are. Are you a nerd? What makes you a nerd? Are you a social butterfly? What makes you a social butterfly? Think about what you consider yourself, and then include the activities and behaviors that lead you to believe this. It's far more interesting to anyone viewing your profile to say that you like to read science fiction novels and play video games than to say you are a nerd. Be descriptive, creative. Think about what you have to offer a Domme in a relationship. Remember that you are competing against a large number of other women and you have to stand out from the crowd.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 8:35:39 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Three years to become stalked by my perfect match.


See, you were on the wrong side of the equation. It only took me 2 weeks to stalk my ex. Of course it helped that she was hungry and I offered dinner. Timing is everything.

to the op I would suggest finding some local groups and getting off the computer. I found it's a lot easier to meet people face to face.


< Message edited by thishereboi -- 10/3/2011 8:37:57 PM >

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Frustrated - 10/3/2011 11:02:02 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I'm in the group that is supposed to find it easiest to find a partner - I was a single, female sub. It took me just over 5 years of dating, chatting and all that good stuff.

Patience is your most important attribute at the moment. And as Thishereboi says, get thee out and meet people.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 4:14:08 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Sarah, I read your profile.  Collarme has people of all genders and all orientations from all over the world.  Your focus is narrow.  Have you considered either a TNG group in Guelph and simply seeing who's toned there?  Or, since you seem to be a gym rat, getting friendly with the other women there and seeing if some might be les?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 5:24:05 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		the longer, the better... and thicker works too ;)

but sreiously, with the age of the internet, you are going to go thru a bunch of bull to get to the good stuff. simple as that. Take your time, and grab the opportunities.

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 7:14:09 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxSarah

Hello everyone,
This site frustrates me so much. Every single domme I've encountered is a guy lying to me. Or I feel like they're too old for me. I know I'm kind of picky, but I mean I didn't think it would be that hard to find someone. I'm seriously like giving up. For all you successful people in a lesbian domme/sub relationship- how long did it take you?


My advice is to get away from the computer and out into the gay community. You like fitness and are attracted to young fit women, go where they are. The gym, involved in sports, etc....

I live in freakin Iowa and could find a date match for you, around here, in a heartbeat.

And no, not me, ya silly pervs.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 7:53:22 AM   
xxSarah


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/6/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you, that was really helpful.

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 7:58:54 AM   
xxSarah


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/6/2011
Status: offline 		Yeah, the thing about the real life thing - is I'm like shy hitting on girls, because every time I do - they seem to get freaked out and be straight. I'm not old enough to go to gay clubs or anything like that because I can't drink yet.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 8:08:58 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Collarme makes.money based on the numbed of members and so they encourage scammers and liars to use the site and why people prefer other sites.

If i were a young lesbian i would explore the local scene is no doubt the people one is talking to are actually woman.

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 8:23:44 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxSarah

Yeah, the thing about the real life thing - is I'm like shy hitting on girls, because every time I do - they seem to get freaked out and be straight. I'm not old enough to go to gay clubs or anything like that because I can't drink yet.


Honey, there is a lot to hanging with like minded individuals that does not involve clubs. Nightclubs are generally not my thang but I can always find lesbians.

Secondly....you do not have to do the 'hitting on'. Just put yourself out there and you will get hit on. Very likely, quite aggressively.


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 10/4/2011 8:26:14 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 8:34:36 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Because those sites make money a different way? Exactly how do they encourage scammers and liars, Mike? Do they have them fill out some scammer verification, or proof of a liars club certificate?

When you were scamming and lying as CrappyDom how did the site ownership encourge you to lie and scam? Did they send you promo codes?

Hey, so you got the ass at the site cuz they got sick of your shit and moderated you, happens to all of us and some of us lose the pissant attitude about it.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 10/4/2011 9:10:01 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 8:35:49 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		xxSarah,
Hang in there.  According to your profile, you're only 18 years old.  You have plenty of time to find a partner.

If I were you, I'd log off of the computer and go to a munch.  You live in Ontario.  There is quite a bit going on in your area.  I don't know if you drive or have a car, but if you do, then you are living in a virtual Mecca of BDSM.  I've attended lots of functions in Toronto.  If I can drive up there from the US, then you can surely drive right down the road to attend them.

Google "TNG munch Toronto".  I'm sure lots of very good info will come up.  Also, join FetLife, and do a search for groups in Ontario and Toronto.  I'm sure you'll find lots of good info.

Finally, remember the old saying; "Patience is a virtue". 

Good luck in your search.

(in reply to xxSarah)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Frustrated - 10/4/2011 8:53:16 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Collarme makes.money based on the numbed of members and so they encourage scammers and liars to use the site and why people prefer other sites.

If i were a young lesbian i would explore the local scene is no doubt the people one is talking to are actually woman.


Really Michael, no other sites make money on the numbers? Some of those other sites you all seem to like better, go on numbers as well and some ask for money still. They don't have the same format as this one does and it makes searching a bit more difficult and you have to join a lot of groups, have lots of online time, etc. to get to meet people. There are scammers and fakes or jokes everywhere online and in person. For someone advocating in person as much as you do, you sure do re haunt online places with little good to say.

I've seen you in action. I have my opinion of you as I am sure you have an opinion of me and I bet neither is very good. How you present yourself, isn't always how you are or that damn healing you always used to talk about didn't root very well. Oh you can play with words pretty well and put up a mean post that makes a lot of sense and speaks of experience, but... there is a bit more to you than you like to present these days. It's still there. I've seen it.

You got upset and went away and came back for whatever reasons, but it is funny... you are always posting how this site sucks, all the bad things you think about it and how other sites do better. So why are you here? Showing a bit more of that side of yourself that could still use a bit of work? That agitated guy that needs to come remind everyone of how wonderful you are and get your two cents in, which actually is very telling if one cares to pay attention.

I won't go into details... but some know you and remember you well and on the surface you may look okay... it is what you do behind the scenes to people that is most revealing.

Don't like it here... go away. Its not rocket science, nor is figuring you out.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 10/4/2011 8:56:53 AM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 20
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