doms who like to share their subs

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sephra53 -> doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 9:28:55 PM)
I am learning about the lifestyle....and was just wondering if anyone can tell me how common it is for a Dom to want to share his sub ....I believe the term is called "gifting"....I haven't been claimed as of yet and we have been talking for about 3 months now....no physical contact....just talking....there is no persuasion, but he has expressed his need for a sub and one that he will share with other men...I was just wondering if this was common practice....

Hisprettybaby -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 9:38:24 PM)
Some do share and some don't. I hope that those who do will require clean STD screens from those they share their subs with and/or require condom usage. Otherwise these guys, the Dom AND the ones he shares with, had better be prepared to pay for healthcare as needed. ~Hisprettybaby~

winspiritsbaby -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 9:43:09 PM)
Welcome to CM sephra. I don't know about it being common place, but I have heard that some Dom's do like to share. In my experience however, there are just as many if not more that don't like to share.

DarkSteven -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 9:49:38 PM)
For me, it's a hard limit. That is, I will not share her sexually. I might let another Top flog or spank her, etc., and I wouldn't hesitate to let her serve another domestically for an hour or two at a party or similar event.

Missokyst -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 9:54:03 PM)
I havent noticed it is especially common. But, let me share a story with you. One of the dominant types I know personally, used to chat up submissives here and on other sites and would discuss his desire to share his sub. He would never meet his sub in person, but he would collar her and only share her with a dominant he happened to know who occasionally passed through her town, and they never knew that it was him. He got a lot of sex on the side, kept his marriage intact, and his only duty was to keep his string of submissives long distance and longing to meet him while proving their commitment to him by their willingness to be shared. Always look at the small print on the contract before signing on the dotted line. quote: ORIGINAL: sephra53 I am learning about the lifestyle....and was just wondering if anyone can tell me how common it is for a Dom to want to share his sub ....I believe the term is called "gifting"....I haven't been claimed as of yet and we have been talking for about 3 months now....no physical contact....just talking....there is no persuasion, but he has expressed his need for a sub and one that he will share with other men...I was just wondering if this was common practice....

DeviantlyD -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 10:23:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I havent noticed it is especially common. But, let me share a story with you. One of the dominant types I know personally, used to chat up submissives here and on other sites and would discuss his desire to share his sub. He would never meet his sub in person, but he would collar her and only share her with a dominant he happened to know who occasionally passed through her town, and they never knew that it was him. He got a lot of sex on the side, kept his marriage intact, and his only duty was to keep his string of submissives long distance and longing to meet him while proving their commitment to him by their willingness to be shared. Always look at the small print on the contract before signing on the dotted line. He sounds more like a hng type than a dominant. Wow. It's truly amazing just how naive some can be. I wouldn't be involved in sharing, but even if it were something I was into, I certainly wouldn't submit to anyone who would demand this, without meeting them first.

Missokyst -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 10:26:21 PM)
Yep. But for ever HNG out there, there is an equally needy counterpart waiting for a chance to indulge. quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst I havent noticed it is especially common. But, let me share a story with you. One of the dominant types I know personally, used to chat up submissives here and on other sites and would discuss his desire to share his sub. He would never meet his sub in person, but he would collar her and only share her with a dominant he happened to know who occasionally passed through her town, and they never knew that it was him. He got a lot of sex on the side, kept his marriage intact, and his only duty was to keep his string of submissives long distance and longing to meet him while proving their commitment to him by their willingness to be shared. Always look at the small print on the contract before signing on the dotted line. He sounds more like a hng type than a dominant. Wow. It's truly amazing just how naive some can be. I wouldn't be involved in sharing, but even if it were something I was into, I certainly wouldn't submit to anyone who would demand this, without meeting them first.

Hillwilliam -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 10:26:26 PM)
The only sharing I ever did was more of an exchange. When I was a noob a coupla decades ago, My mentor was a les Domme who had a sub that was bi. My sub was also bi so occasionally we would swap as we trusted each other and the girls could get it out of their system..

JanahX -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 10:26:54 PM)
Just remember one out of every five people have an std. Also (on this fine NOTE) you can get stds through oral sex as well. but maybe you already have an std and arnt worried about it ... who knows these things ....

myotherself -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 10:57:05 PM)
I only know of a few Doms (in real life) who actually 'share' their sub. It's a kink like any other, I guess.

DeviantlyD -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 11:41:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst Yep. But for ever HNG out there, there is an equally needy counterpart waiting for a chance to indulge. Low self esteem I'd say.

DeviantlyD -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 11:44:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JanahX Just remember one out of every five people have an std. Also (on this fine NOTE) you can get stds through oral sex as well. but maybe you already have an std and arnt worried about it ... who knows these things .... Not to mention that just because your last test was negative, doesn't mean you're negative. You may not have sero-converted yet. Or you may be at the beginning of your infection where the STD has not yet reached detectable levels. (Using "you" in the generic sense.)

BeautyDebased -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 11:51:42 PM)
I can never understand it, my Master would never share me, He wont even allow other Doms to play in any way with me, sexual or otherwise, I can play with girls with His permission but again, He has no interest in anything sexual other than me, He will hurt/humiliate etc them but nothing more, there are certain things we both feel are just for us. mittens

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/4/2011 11:56:18 PM)
With regard to the "sharing" thing (from a male dominant/female submissive perspective), my personal experience has been very few do, where most don't -- at least with other males. More are willing to "share" with another female.

LafayetteLady -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 12:11:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sephra53 I am learning about the lifestyle....and was just wondering if anyone can tell me how common it is for a Dom to want to share his sub ....I believe the term is called "gifting"....I haven't been claimed as of yet and we have been talking for about 3 months now....no physical contact....just talking....there is no persuasion, but he has expressed his need for a sub and one that he will share with other men...I was just wondering if this was common practice.... The bigger question is how do YOU feel about it? Yes, this particular guy has mentioned it as something he is looking for, but as others have said, not all dominants are like that. Many people here are into monogamous relationships. So if this guy is leading you to believe that it is something very common, he is just trying to take advantage of you being new. You are just learning about this stuff, but remember, you don't HAVE to agree to anything, and nothing is "standard" in that all D/s relationships do "X." Think of it this way, if you were talking to him and he said he wanted a toilet slave (someone who will eat his excrement and drink his urine), would you have trouble saying that wasn't for you (assuming that it isn't), even if he tried to tell you that it was very "common" for dominants to expect that from their subs. You are new, you are learning. One of the most important things to remember is that while they are sizing you up, you should be doing the same thing, and never listen to anyone who gives you the "all dominants expect," or "all subs do..."

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 3:51:35 AM)
Hanners used to share me sort of, not loaning me out, but having a three-way when and with who she wanted to. That's stopped now, we've all decided to be exclusive <well except Hanners gets to do a guy now and then if she wants to>. I didn't mind it really, I probably would have been iffy about being loaned out, but that was never really an option, Hanners is just a wee bit protective <see attached graphic for an example> and also a little fond of me, so it never happened.. [image]local://upfiles/1214164/1F018A0EAFE94B5FAD37D064BB510904.jpg[/image]

Aileen1968 -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 4:11:19 AM)
It doesn't matter how common it is. All that matters is whether it's acceptable to you or not. Go from there.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 4:14:49 AM)
if it isn't something you're interested in, just decline and move on. there are plenty of other people who aren't interested in it. i dunno that it's necessarily common, there are certainly a lot of people who enjoy it, but not so many that you will never find someone who doesn't.

kalikshama -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 4:38:00 AM)
At this point in my relationship - we are living with each other - I might be open to it. I know that he sees me as a person first. If someone I'd never met brought it up I'd think he saw me as a fucktoy first and that would be a dealbreaker. [:'(] I was once with a guy who liked to see me with other women and that got to be a real turn off, despite me being bi. This experience helped me clarify my limits and boundaries, which is something you need to do as well. Quoting for emphasis: quote: The bigger question is how do YOU feel about it? Yes, this particular guy has mentioned it as something he is looking for, but as others have said, not all dominants are like that. Many people here are into monogamous relationships. So if this guy is leading you to believe that it is something very common, he is just trying to take advantage of you being new. You are just learning about this stuff, but remember, you don't HAVE to agree to anything, and nothing is "standard" in that all D/s relationships do "X." Think of it this way, if you were talking to him and he said he wanted a toilet slave (someone who will eat his excrement and drink his urine), would you have trouble saying that wasn't for you (assuming that it isn't), even if he tried to tell you that it was very "common" for dominants to expect that from their subs. You are new, you are learning. One of the most important things to remember is that while they are sizing you up, you should be doing the same thing, and never listen to anyone who gives you the "all dominants expect," or "all subs do..."

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 4:57:25 AM)
This is a legitimate kink like any other. I think it has to do with a deep need to humiliate or be humiliated. It's "See? She loves me so much she is willing to be with another man to please me." Like many kink activities, it's not w/o it's potential pitfalls, both physical and emotional. I think it's perfectly fine if the sub shares the need to be shared in this way, If he/she does not, and is only doing it as a test of their submission, I foresee problems in the future. Most especially if the dominant uses this test as a further way to humiliate the sub. Humiliation is always a sticky wicket.

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