RE: doms who like to share their subs

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IrishMist -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 6:55:42 AM)
quote: The bigger question is how do YOU feel about it? Right there. It does not matter how common it is or how uncommon it is. What matters is how YOU feel about it. If it's something that you are comfortable with, go for it. If it's not, then tell him no and look for someone else. On a side note; the words 'being shared' can mean a lot of things. Like others have said, it, it may be just sexual, it may be domestic, it may be playing, or it could be all of those and more. One thing I have always told others is to think of it this way. If you were not in a kinky relationship, and something was asked of you. WOULD YOU COMPLY, OR WOULD YOU SAY NO WAY? Kinky relationships are no different than other relationships. All we do is wrap them up in pretty packaging.

Squirrely -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 7:13:07 AM)
when all is said and done I would be open to being shared... but it would be far from something I would require. the level of trust I would have to have in my master is a bit mind-boggling, plus I tend to think The kind of master I would want wouldn't want to share. I would imagine its not a common practice.

Missokyst -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 8:23:02 AM)
I remember when I first found out this stuff I do is considered kink and I joined Alt.com. Holy crap the things I was asked to do because some dominant male I knew from jack squat said it was common! I was asked about being shared, animal things which cannot be mentioned, human things that can not be mentioned, 3 ways, swapping, ect., all in the guise of "if you don't do this you are not a true sub". Phht. Fortunately I was always able to cut through the BS. If it interests you, explore it. If not, there are others out there who might be more compatible. quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt This is a legitimate kink like any other. I think it has to do with a deep need to humiliate or be humiliated. It's "See? She loves me so much she is willing to ___________"

DesFIP -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 8:29:51 AM)
It doesn't matter if 99% of the males want their female partners to do this. What matters is if you want to do this or if you are only compatible with the 1% who don't. What I can tell you is that there are a whole lot of us who are monogamous. We are underrepresented in the public scene because we aren't going to play with others so why bother to go? But I get the sense that the majority of those who don't join their local communities are strictly monogamous, neither play nor sex with others.

ProlificNeeds -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 8:58:52 AM)
I'm okay with being 'lent out' as long as it's limited. I won't have sex with my Dom's pals, I don't mind being visual entertainment or giving massages, even being a bottom for impact or tying whatever, but just not sex. The more intimate sexual acts are emotional, and I only share them with those I am in a relationship with. Hard limit for me.

SimplyMichael -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 9:43:00 AM)
As a general rule i am not one for loaning out my women. That said i have done it often enovh that i have shared many. Never for.the same way or for the same.reasons. My best friend was going to his thirtieth hs reunion and his gf is an old flame of mine and we are all pretty sexual people. I loaned him my woman so he could.take two different women to the events that weekend. No sex but she made.a.convincing girlfriend in public. that said its something fraught with potential.problems and is often hotter as wank.material.than reality.

littleone35 -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 9:56:49 AM)
My Master will not share me in any way shape or form. That is somethung both of us want. Not being shared is a hard limit of mine. I said passed around like a party favor. He does not share what belongs to him. He says if you were with another then you could not be with me what good wold that do. If you were into it i still would not share you are MINE. Matt's littleone

sephra53 -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 4:43:04 PM)
thank you all for your advice, and personal experiences which have helped to make you.....you....as I have said....I am new....so new that i haven't even been claimed by this man yet....he says that it is a mere technicality and that he knows that I already feel claimed by him.....it has been 3 months that we have been talking online...texting and e-mailing as well....but no personal contact.....my living arrangements are such that prevent me from having any such contact as I am temporarily staying with family....I have questioned this sharing need and it's always the same response....he says that it is for me to experience what I have only fantasized about for so many years.....which yes I have but have never acted upon it....I have been in long term vanilla relationships my whole life and he knows this....I have actually lead a pretty sheltered life and have recently wanted to explore my sensuality as I have always wanted to please and serve my entire life....the unsafe sex with total strangers which he calls his "associates"...is not something that I am comfortable with and he also has a particular thing for a certain race....and no other....constantly making references as to (not trying to be graphic but it's important)...him wanting to hear me whimper from being stretched.....he says that we would have a normal relationship but that he would gift me to these men for his pleasure and to teach me the paradox of doing something that I was raised to believe was taboo....I have always been a decent woman...and I believe he wants me to be a sex slave for his pleasure ....I decided to tell him today that this is certainly not what I am about to get myself into....I would have done anything to please and serve this man as I thought he was a righteous and caring individual....but now....I believe he is nothing more then a wolf in sheeps clothing that has a fetish and I am the innocent that he wants to give to these men to be tied and used for their pleasure...I guess in reality ....it's a good thing that we never met in person....again ...thank you all once again......

DesFIP -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 5:11:02 PM)
I wouldn't demonize him as you're doing. Haven't you ever met vanilla men you don't have enough in common with to date? No difference here. He's into something you absolutely won't do. Doesn't make you good or bad, doesn't make him good or bad. It just means you two aren't a good match.

HeatherMcLeather -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 5:44:51 PM)
quote: he says that it is a mere technicality and that he knows that I already feel claimed by him quote: the unsafe sex with total strangers which he calls his "associates" These, Sephra, are what I would call call a... [image]local://upfiles/1214164/2F94725869E14EE79E18C5995E4C3C07.jpg[/image]

JanahX -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 7:02:22 PM)
Okay ... so you've never even met this guy and he wants you to go have unsafe - which I take as unprotected sex with strangers that involves race play so he can hear you get stretched and jerk off to it I assume? Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. He sounds creepy as hell. Glad you ditched his wanker ass.

kalikshama -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/5/2011 7:29:50 PM)
I lived with my mother over the summer but managed to date. I told her I met people on okcupid, which I am on as well. (I actually DID meet the guy I'm living with now on OKC. But I digress.) quote: the unsafe sex with total strangers which he calls his "associates" Dump his unsafe ass. Delete, block, move on. [image]http://lovesagame.com/wp-content/uploads/red_flag.jpg[/image] I suggest you have the vanilla meeting more quickly in the future so you don't feel emotionally invested in pixels on the screen.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/6/2011 4:34:24 AM)
he becomes creepier and creepier still -- i think you should call it a day on this one, sephra.

COINT -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/6/2011 4:50:11 AM)
I have fun sometimes sharing my sub(s) however, sexual sharing is very limited. (Only within our household and we are all tested) i will ask my sub to bottom for impact play now and then at a event... but that is not quite the same, and we are in a RL relationship, not online. I don't think the kink itself is a bad thing, its just another thing that some people like. But its not for everyone, and the way he wanted you to do it without having met him raises my creep alarm!

Hillwilliam -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/6/2011 6:56:53 AM)
It's always good to see when good sense overrides "Sub Frenzy".

SimplyMichael -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/6/2011 12:04:51 PM)
As a.new.dominant learning how.to use a woman as a whore and a wonton slut AND make her feel.special and taken care of is not easy. Nor is learning to use my new bitch, this droid is cool but still... The other is that what makes a hot fantasy does not always translate to reality well. Discovering how to know that ahead of time as well as how to blend fantasy with reality is an art. You want you woman to pick up a stranger and go in the alley to blow him? Ya pree screen a guy without her knowing, get him tested etc then pretend to pick a stranger out of a crowd and tell her to not come back till his cum is smeared on her face. She thinks she just blew a stranger and you kept her safe. Years ago i fullfilled a guys wifes fantasy to be lent out as a sex slave. He saw an ad i ran and we set it all up over lunch. Him and i turned out to be good friends.

Buzzzz -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/7/2011 9:48:26 PM)
From my experience most Dom don't share. I like to if my partner is ok with it. But I won't share with the doms that don't share(too many chances for drama to show up).

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/7/2011 10:23:41 PM)
In my very early days of being a submissive to my first Dom (we're talking 2 wks or so), he decided to lend me out to who he claimed was a Domme friend of his. I was to be the "gift" to her male submissive. I knew nothing back then, and thought my Dom did. What a mistake. A hard limit was ignored, I was treated like a piece of meat, an altogether unpleasant experience to say the least. I said nothing to him for another few months about how I'd been treated and how it made me feel. He was supposed to be there to oversee my safety, but the Domme said her sub didn't want him there. So he sent me on my merry way. Little did I know that he'd never had a submissive before, that he'd decided to become a Dom after watching "Kink". I made damned sure after that to educate myself since he couldn't and wouldn't. A lot of that relationship was uncomfortable for me and I put up with a lot more than I should have. Now I know better. I will not be shared by any Dominant who chooses me, and it will be monogamous. If he can't live with that, then I can live without him. I'd much rather be alone than settle for someone who doesn't share my values and such.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/7/2011 11:16:47 PM)
Sexually? Share my sub? And risk having him bring home some icky thing a doctor cannot get rid of? When I found out that people could catch herpes in spite of a condom and between outbreaks...oh, and a roommate of mine years ago described how she had to walk around the house for days or weeks with a pillow between her thighs, whimpering cuz her pussy hurt like hell... No. Way. I have had condoms come off inside of me in the long distant past, and my sub has had them tear or break. We can all enjoy safer sex, but in no way can I see it as "safe". I am too paranoid of catching genital warts, herpes, HIV, etc., to risk sharing my sub sexually with anyone. I even made both of us go to the doctor for a full panel, in spite of the fact that both of us were celibate for years...and the paperwork on the tests still haven't come back, lol. This is just me; the paranoid one. [:D] I have had chemotherapy four times in my life and if it ever happens again (knocks on wood), I do not want some germ throwing a party over my immune system not being at it's best. When I was young and thought I would live forever and took having a healthy body for granted, I was less...cautious. There are waaaaay too many old notches on my bedpost and I only escaped something icky by sheer luck. If I lived in a magical realm where there were no diseases, I would still hesitate to loan my sub out; without my being there, how could I ensure his safety? I have heard horror stories, even from male subs. Do I ever loan my sub out for service like mowing a lawn or painting a room...? Yes. Sometimes. My boy is very good with his hands and I am proud of his skills. (This weekend he is putting padding on a cross he built for us and then will be covering it with my...black and blue...vinyl.) [;)]

OsideGirl -> RE: doms who like to share their subs (10/8/2011 9:51:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I wouldn't demonize him as you're doing. Haven't you ever met vanilla men you don't have enough in common with to date? No difference here. He's into something you absolutely won't do. Doesn't make you good or bad, doesn't make him good or bad. It just means you two aren't a good match. DES, I'm going to disagree a little bit. It's not the lending out, it's method in which he's going after it. This is what raises my red flags: quote: ORIGINAL: sephra53 I am new....so new that i haven't even been claimed by this man yet....he says that it is a mere technicality and that he knows that I already feel claimed by him.....it has been 3 months that we have been talking online...texting and e-mailing as well....but no personal contact..... Regardless of her living situation, it's still possible to meet for vanilla activities. Clearly he's not aiming for that, or he would have suggested it. quote: I have questioned this sharing need and it's always the same response He's ignoring her concerns. quote: the unsafe sex with total strangers which he calls his "associates"...is not something that I am comfortable with He expects her to play sexual Russian roulette. Not to mention he says that they would have a "normal relationship" which makes me wonder if he's had unsafe sex with other women that he's lent out for unsafe sex.

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