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doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 9:28:55 PM

sephra53

Posts: 4
Joined: 10/4/2011
Status: offline

I am learning about the lifestyle....and was just wondering if anyone can tell me how common it is for a Dom to want to share his sub ....I believe the term is called "gifting"....I haven't been claimed as of yet and we have been talking for about 3 months now....no physical contact....just talking....there is no persuasion, but he has expressed his need for a sub and one that he will share with other men...I was just wondering if this was common practice....

Post #: 1

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 9:38:24 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Some do share and some don't. I hope that those who do will require clean STD screens from those they share their subs with and/or require condom usage. Otherwise these guys, the Dom AND the ones he shares with, had better be prepared to pay for healthcare as needed.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 2

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 9:43:09 PM

winspiritsbaby

Posts: 141
Status: offline

Welcome to CM sephra.
I don't know about it being common place, but I have heard that some Dom's do like to share. In my experience however, there are just as many if not more that don't like to share.

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 3

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 9:49:38 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

For me, it's a hard limit. That is, I will not share her sexually. I might let another Top flog or spank her, etc., and I wouldn't hesitate to let her serve another domestically for an hour or two at a party or similar event.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to winspiritsbaby)

Post #: 4

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 9:54:03 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I havent noticed it is especially common. But, let me share a story with you. One of the dominant types I know personally, used to chat up submissives here and on other sites and would discuss his desire to share his sub. He would never meet his sub in person, but he would collar her and only share her with a dominant he happened to know who occasionally passed through her town, and they never knew that it was him. He got a lot of sex on the side, kept his marriage intact, and his only duty was to keep his string of submissives long distance and longing to meet him while proving their commitment to him by their willingness to be shared.

Always look at the small print on the contract before signing on the dotted line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sephra53

I am learning about the lifestyle....and was just wondering if anyone can tell me how common it is for a Dom to want to share his sub ....I believe the term is called "gifting"....I haven't been claimed as of yet and we have been talking for about 3 months now....no physical contact....just talking....there is no persuasion, but he has expressed his need for a sub and one that he will share with other men...I was just wondering if this was common practice....

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 5

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 10:23:13 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I havent noticed it is especially common. But, let me share a story with you. One of the dominant types I know personally, used to chat up submissives here and on other sites and would discuss his desire to share his sub. He would never meet his sub in person, but he would collar her and only share her with a dominant he happened to know who occasionally passed through her town, and they never knew that it was him. He got a lot of sex on the side, kept his marriage intact, and his only duty was to keep his string of submissives long distance and longing to meet him while proving their commitment to him by their willingness to be shared.

Always look at the small print on the contract before signing on the dotted line.

He sounds more like a hng type than a dominant. Wow. It's truly amazing just how naive some can be. I wouldn't be involved in sharing, but even if it were something I was into, I certainly wouldn't submit to anyone who would demand this, without meeting them first.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 6

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 10:26:21 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Yep. But for ever HNG out there, there is an equally needy counterpart waiting for a chance to indulge.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I havent noticed it is especially common. But, let me share a story with you. One of the dominant types I know personally, used to chat up submissives here and on other sites and would discuss his desire to share his sub. He would never meet his sub in person, but he would collar her and only share her with a dominant he happened to know who occasionally passed through her town, and they never knew that it was him. He got a lot of sex on the side, kept his marriage intact, and his only duty was to keep his string of submissives long distance and longing to meet him while proving their commitment to him by their willingness to be shared.

Always look at the small print on the contract before signing on the dotted line.

He sounds more like a hng type than a dominant. Wow. It's truly amazing just how naive some can be. I wouldn't be involved in sharing, but even if it were something I was into, I certainly wouldn't submit to anyone who would demand this, without meeting them first.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 7

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 10:26:26 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

The only sharing I ever did was more of an exchange.

When I was a noob a coupla decades ago, My mentor was a les Domme who had a sub that was bi. My sub was also bi so occasionally we would swap as we trusted each other and the girls could get it out of their system..

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 8

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 10:26:54 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

Just remember one out of every five people have an std.

Also (on this fine NOTE) you can get stds through oral sex as well.

but maybe you already have an std and arnt worried about it ...

who knows these things ....

< Message edited by JanahX -- 10/4/2011 10:27:14 PM >

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 9

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 10:57:05 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I only know of a few Doms (in real life) who actually 'share' their sub. It's a kink like any other, I guess.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 10

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 11:41:56 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Yep. But for ever HNG out there, there is an equally needy counterpart waiting for a chance to indulge.

Low self esteem I'd say.

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 11

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 11:44:42 PM

DeviantlyD

Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Just remember one out of every five people have an std.

Also (on this fine NOTE) you can get stds through oral sex as well.

but maybe you already have an std and arnt worried about it ...

who knows these things ....

Not to mention that just because your last test was negative, doesn't mean you're negative. You may not have sero-converted yet. Or you may be at the beginning of your infection where the STD has not yet reached detectable levels.

(Using "you" in the generic sense.)

< Message edited by DeviantlyD -- 10/4/2011 11:45:08 PM >

_____________________________

ExiledTyrant's groupie. Catering to his ego since May 26, 2007. :D

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 12

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 11:51:42 PM

BeautyDebased

Posts: 96
Joined: 3/20/2009
From: My Masters Feet
Status: offline

I can never understand it,

my Master would never share me, He wont even allow other Doms to play in any way with me, sexual or otherwise, I can play with girls with His permission but again, He has no interest in anything sexual other than me, He will hurt/humiliate etc them but nothing more, there are certain things we both feel are just for us.

mittens

_____________________________

-Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you-

MAT 7:6.

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

Post #: 13

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/4/2011 11:56:18 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

With regard to the "sharing" thing (from a male dominant/female submissive perspective), my personal experience has been very few do, where most don't -- at least with other males. More are willing to "share" with another female.

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 14

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/5/2011 12:11:07 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sephra53

I am learning about the lifestyle....and was just wondering if anyone can tell me how common it is for a Dom to want to share his sub ....I believe the term is called "gifting"....I haven't been claimed as of yet and we have been talking for about 3 months now....no physical contact....just talking....there is no persuasion, but he has expressed his need for a sub and one that he will share with other men...I was just wondering if this was common practice....

The bigger question is how do YOU feel about it? Yes, this particular guy has mentioned it as something he is looking for, but as others have said, not all dominants are like that. Many people here are into monogamous relationships. So if this guy is leading you to believe that it is something very common, he is just trying to take advantage of you being new.

You are just learning about this stuff, but remember, you don't HAVE to agree to anything, and nothing is "standard" in that all D/s relationships do "X." Think of it this way, if you were talking to him and he said he wanted a toilet slave (someone who will eat his excrement and drink his urine), would you have trouble saying that wasn't for you (assuming that it isn't), even if he tried to tell you that it was very "common" for dominants to expect that from their subs.

You are new, you are learning. One of the most important things to remember is that while they are sizing you up, you should be doing the same thing, and never listen to anyone who gives you the "all dominants expect," or "all subs do..."

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 15

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/5/2011 3:51:35 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline

Hanners used to share me sort of, not loaning me out, but having a three-way when and with who she wanted to. That's stopped now, we've all decided to be exclusive <well except Hanners gets to do a guy now and then if she wants to>. I didn't mind it really, I probably would have been iffy about being loaned out, but that was never really an option, Hanners is just a wee bit protective <see attached graphic for an example> and also a little fond of me, so it never happened..

Attachment (1)

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 16

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/5/2011 4:11:19 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

It doesn't matter how common it is.
All that matters is whether it's acceptable to you or not.
Go from there.

_____________________________

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 17

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/5/2011 4:14:49 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

if it isn't something you're interested in, just decline and move on.
there are plenty of other people who aren't interested in it.

i dunno that it's necessarily common, there are certainly a lot of people who enjoy it, but not so many that you will never find someone who doesn't.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 18

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/5/2011 4:38:00 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

At this point in my relationship - we are living with each other - I might be open to it. I know that he sees me as a person first. If someone I'd never met brought it up I'd think he saw me as a fucktoy first and that would be a dealbreaker.

I was once with a guy who liked to see me with other women and that got to be a real turn off, despite me being bi. This experience helped me clarify my limits and boundaries, which is something you need to do as well.

Quoting for emphasis:

quote:

The bigger question is how do YOU feel about it? Yes, this particular guy has mentioned it as something he is looking for, but as others have said, not all dominants are like that. Many people here are into monogamous relationships. So if this guy is leading you to believe that it is something very common, he is just trying to take advantage of you being new.

You are just learning about this stuff, but remember, you don't HAVE to agree to anything, and nothing is "standard" in that all D/s relationships do "X." Think of it this way, if you were talking to him and he said he wanted a toilet slave (someone who will eat his excrement and drink his urine), would you have trouble saying that wasn't for you (assuming that it isn't), even if he tried to tell you that it was very "common" for dominants to expect that from their subs.

You are new, you are learning. One of the most important things to remember is that while they are sizing you up, you should be doing the same thing, and never listen to anyone who gives you the "all dominants expect," or "all subs do..."

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 19

RE: doms who like to share their subs - 10/5/2011 4:57:25 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

This is a legitimate kink like any other. I think it has to do with a deep need to humiliate or be humiliated. It's "See? She loves me so much she is willing to be with another man to please me."

Like many kink activities, it's not w/o it's potential pitfalls, both physical and emotional.

I think it's perfectly fine if the sub shares the need to be shared in this way, If he/she does not, and is only doing it as a *test* of their submission, I foresee problems in the future. Most especially if the dominant uses this *test* as a further way to humiliate the sub.

Humiliation is always a sticky wicket.

_____________________________

(in reply to sephra53)

Post #: 20

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