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Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 4:24:37 PM

slave4You2006

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2011
Status: offline

I am in love with my Dominant and W/we are both happy with each other and we want to live our lives together.

As for my question, i am a well expereinced sub and sissy and have barely any strangers of the kinks and fetishes in the lovely realm of BDSM.

My Dominant on the other hand is very new to all of this. We have been going to parties and knowing people but as Her slave i feel that She is not learning that much.

We both live in the state of TX but we live about an hour and fifteen minutes away for i live in Horseshoe Bay and She lives in San Antonio. if there are any Dominant Females that may want to help my Dominant to be more Dominant then please by all means let me know. She does not have a profile on this site but She does on fetlife.com. (sorry if that counts as advertisement, not trying to).

She is more into needle play, bondage, spanking, paddling, feminization, and electro play. She craves to try hypnosis as well.

W/we are not rich but W/we are not poor and if anyone could help Her to become more of a Dominant persona then that will be superb. W/we all have jobs and obligations and there are days that we can't see each other. i hope someone will help. willing to pay for a meal for your time.

please message me

Dominant: Ms Jenn

and

submissive / sissy: Zoe Slut

Post #: 1

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 4:40:35 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Oh where to start?

mmmm.... I'm just not going to... but neither of your names comes up in Fetlife in Texas.... so start over

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 2

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 5:41:50 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Um. Has she directed you to get her educated the way you want her to be?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 3

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 5:49:59 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

As her slave you don't feel she is learning enough? To be a top or domina? With you topping her, I am sure she will want to please you and get on out there and learn to top you properly... of course... we all would you know.

She is new to this. If she weren't, she would have kicked your topping ass to the curb and found a submissive that knows his place and how to value a woman and a domina.

If she wants to learn, she can make that happen, but you really wouldn't want a number of us teaching her a damn thing because the first lesson would be in topping submissive types.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 4

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 6:15:30 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Also, if you are truly in love with her, you may want to change your profile to state that you are not looking.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 5

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 8:28:53 PM

slave4You2006

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2011
Status: offline

on fetlife i am under sissyboi3050 and my Dominant is under Country_Girl_01 i hope that this helps.

She and i love each other but She is inexperienced and She sometimes feel insecure and that is why i asked for help.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 6

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/5/2011 9:08:09 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Even on my most insecure days, it would never occur to me to send someone else to do my work.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 7

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 4:21:12 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

She wants to learn more? Or YOU want her to learn more?

Maybe the reason she feels insecure is because you think so little of her ability? Maybe it's you who is making her feel insecure, not her lack of experience.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 8

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 4:23:16 AM

Arienos

Posts: 161
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline

You may or may not be genuine in your request and I have no reason to believe you are not...but it is your dominant that should be requesting assistance and I strongly believe if she in the privacy of e-mail requested advice or assistance she would find positive reinforcement from a large number of experienced and highly creative woman on this site.

< Message edited by Arienos -- 10/6/2011 4:31:33 AM >

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 9

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 4:31:17 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

I am in love with my Dominant and W/we are both happy with each other and we want to live our lives together.

And yet according to your profile you are not only looking for a fem domme, but you are willing to relocate and leave the love of your life to be with her. Interesting

Give me your loves cm name and I will train her. Our first lesson will be "kicking him to the curb"

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 10

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 6:39:34 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

The above poster got this one as right as anyone is going to. The first thing your lady needs to "learn" is that you really aren't good enough to belong to her.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 11

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 7:39:31 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4You2006

My Dominant on the other hand is very new to all of this. We have been going to parties and knowing people but as Her slave i feel that She is not learning that much.

She is more into needle play, bondage, spanking, paddling, feminization, and electro play. She craves to try hypnosis as well.

I think it would help us all if you were to define what you mean by "she is not learning that much". That could mean several things. For example, it could mean any of the following:

A. Our local BDSM group doesn't offer seminars, so opportunities to learn new skills are limited.

B. My Domme is stupid. People have tried to teach her things, but she's just too dense to grasp the concepts.

C. She is not doing what I tell her to do.

I don't know you, so I can't judge you. But usually when people post messages like yours, what they're really trying to communicate is option "C". They have specific fantasies, and their Domme is not fulfilling them. That does NOT mean that she "is not learning very much". She may be learning a lot about getting you to do the things that SHE enjoys. But those things may not fit into your fantasy, and so you may be resistant to them.

If that's the case, it's called "topping from the bottom". Most Dommes tend to be resistant to that. In fact, if that's the situation that you find yourself in, then you may do better if you find a pro-Domme. She'll do things exactly the way that you want them.

If the problems is actually "A", then you may need to travel a bit farther to find the types of classes/seminars that she needs to learn the skills that she's interested in acquiring.

If the problem is "B", then there's not a lot anyone can do for you. Sorry.

For what it's worth, the kinks that you mentioned aren't particularly difficult, so I'm surprised that you think she isn't learning them. Needle play can be tricky, so I don't think you want to rush into that one until she gains the necessary knowledge. And hypnosis is often more a fantasy than a reality. I've only known a handful of Dommes who could successfully hypnotize someone, so I wouldn't hold it against her if she isn't a master of mind control.

The other kinks you mentioned are fairly simple. She may need practice with bondage. But rope work is a progressive skill. You get better over time. So just be patient with her. Let her try her new knots on you. You'll both enjoy that process.

Paddling, spanking, and feminization are pretty simple. I can't see how she would have any problems learning those skills.

I've tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, and offer you suggestions that I think can help. Hopefully, you'll be patient and let HER lead. She can't be the Domme if you're trying to call the shots.

Good luck.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 10/6/2011 7:44:40 AM >

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 12

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 10:25:48 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
As her slave you don't feel she is learning enough? To be a top or domina? With you topping her, I am sure she will want to please you and get on out there and learn to top you properly... of course... we all would you know.

She is new to this. If she weren't, she would have kicked your topping ass to the curb and found a submissive that knows his place and how to value a woman and a domina.

If she wants to learn, she can make that happen, but you really wouldn't want a number of us teaching her a damn thing because the first lesson would be in topping submissive types.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Also, if you are truly in love with her, you may want to change your profile to state that you are not looking.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Even on my most insecure days, it would never occur to me to send someone else to do my work.

The quotes above. ALL of them.

1. There's a learning curve for everyone. She's new...give her time.

2. You're Toppy. You try to TFTB. The last time someone did that with me, I stung his ass with my paddle hard enough he never ever did it again.

3. It's a good thing for you that she doesn't have a profile on this site, as you would be busted for what you're writing here, more or less saying she's not Dominant enough or learning enough to Top you to your satisfaction. Since when does the sub call the shots?

4. Does she know you are still looking for Female Dominants on this site? How do you think she would feel about that?

5. How do you suppose she would feel about you asking us to help her? Does she even know? Does she even want our help? Were it me, I'd be upset to say the least.

6. We all know you must be doing this behind her back & without her knowledge, since she's not on CM. Doesn't make me think very highly of you. As a matter of fact, not at all.

7. OP, You're being very Toppy. Were I her and found out about what you are doing here, your ass would be kicked to the curb. Maybe she's just new enough that she's not aware of your manipulative tactics, but if/when she finds out, she probably won't be very happy.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 13

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 4:21:50 PM

slave4You2006

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/18/2011
Status: offline

the Dominant that i love so much is very new as i said before. it amazes me how many of you love to rip me apart and not ask questions.

alright so here is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth to my Goddess.

She was as i said introduced to the whole BDSM and kinks / fetishes for about a couple of months.

She was introduced by a person from fetlife under the name NurseVicki. Nurse Vicki and my Dominant have been doing photo shoots and video shoots every now and again. She grasps very well on a lot of the concepts of the BDSM dictionary. She has been introduced to spankings, floggings, whippings, and paddling. She has some ideas about rope play and bondage.

What She wants to learn is hypnosis and electro play.

What She does not get is when to be so Dominant and when to be all cuddlily. She has seen Nurse Vicki and Her sub play a lot and sometimes relax but Nurse Vicki and Her sub live together so She does not understand how to keep control while we are not together. See, i live about an hour and a half a way from Her (as mentioned before). W/we cannot always meet every weekend so for that it is hard to keep being Dominant.

if someone is willing to help Her get the grasp or concept of our somewhat distant relationship and is willing to teach hypnosis, electro-play and needle play and the rest should be easy.

F.Y.I my Dominant is a BBW and She is aware of that and to Her she feels insecure about it and her living situation. the living situation does not bother me and as for Her being a BBW turns me on even more. but thank You for some of You who think it is my fault. as a gift i try to help Her to be more of a Dominant but She feels that this is a 24 / 7 / 365 a year gig and i tried my best to tell Her that Her and I have a life outside the realm of BDSM and Kinks / Fetishes so i understand that we can't do that. though it would be awesome, reality is not possible. i have a job, she has children and so forth.

anyone who can help would be much appreciated.

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 14

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 4:40:03 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

You should just drop the shovel right now.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 15

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 4:46:36 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

She does not understand how to keep control while we are not together. See, i live about an hour and a half a way from Her (as mentioned before). W/we cannot always meet every weekend so for that it is hard to keep being Dominant. if someone is willing to help Her get the grasp or concept of our somewhat distant relationship

Sounds like YOU are the one needing schooling - she has priorities in her life other than you. While you seem to understand intellectually that she has children, your expectations sound unrealistic.

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 16

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 5:05:37 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

If SHE wants to come here and speak to us, she is welcome to.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 17

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 5:38:15 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm calling bull.

San Antonio has a pretty decent scene. Any Dominant living in that town could easily find folks who could teach topping skills. In darn near any given munch group, it's just not that hard to find somebody who does electrical play, needles, etc. You might have to talk with people who do different things, but this honestly can be done. Most tops are glad to show other people what they know how to do.

But, that's not the whole thing, is it? I get the impression that you aren't happy with the pace. Sorry, sugar. You're not the priority in her life. Sounds to Me like the little people are and guess what? That's how it should be. Those weekends that she's not controlling you? She's home with her little people, paying attention to them, rather than you. Sounds to Me like she has her priorities straight. You not liking it is SECONDARY. You knew the woman had kids when you got involved with her. Learn to deal. Being a Mom is more important than her being your Mistress. Suck it up, buttercup.

Get this in your head. Your job as a sub is to go at her pace. That's what submission is. That you follow her lead. How fast or slow that she wants to do that is up to her. She's the one in charge, or at least she should be. The fact that you don't like her decisions isn't really your place, is it?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 5:43:24 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4You2006

What She does not get is when to be so Dominant and when to be all cuddlily. She has seen Nurse Vicki and Her sub play a lot and sometimes relax but Nurse Vicki and Her sub live together so She does not understand how to keep control while we are not together. See, i live about an hour and a half a way from Her (as mentioned before). W/we cannot always meet every weekend so for that it is hard to keep being Dominant.

if someone is willing to help Her get the grasp or concept of our somewhat distant relationship and is willing to teach hypnosis, electro-play and needle play and the rest should be easy.

F.Y.I my Dominant is a BBW and She is aware of that and to Her she feels insecure about it and her living situation. the living situation does not bother me and as for Her being a BBW turns me on even more. but thank You for some of You who think it is my fault. as a gift i try to help Her to be more of a Dominant but She feels that this is a 24 / 7 / 365 a year gig and i tried my best to tell Her that Her and I have a life outside the realm of BDSM and Kinks / Fetishes so i understand that we can't do that. though it would be awesome, reality is not possible. i have a job, she has children and so forth.

anyone who can help would be much appreciated.

Fella, you have just explained. First off, she's not being a Domme in the way you have in mind. You're the one dictating the terms, not her. While I'm pretty open minded, you're not looking for a D/s situation - you're looking for kinky play. On your terms. That's going to raise some ire here.

Actually, D/s CAN be done 24/7. You simply need to understand that that means you are hers 24/7, even when you're shopping for groceries, at work, etc., doing vanilla stuff.

Best of luck to you, and don't overlook the vanilla times.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to slave4You2006)

Post #: 19

RE: Help me Any Dominant Female - 10/6/2011 6:31:32 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

If she was looking to 'control you more' she'd probably come online and ask for advice herself, or better yet ask that friend of hers she's been hanging out with from fetlife.
Maybe your expectation exceeds what she wants, either way I'd say it's her call to make, to change what she's doing, not yours.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 20

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