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Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 9:33:31 AM

Contentment

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline

I'm still a little lost in how dominant and submissive personalities should identify themselves. I keep trying different profile entries, but I really can't word them properly to describe my understanding of who I am.

I mean, I feel that I am dominant. But I'm wondering what others think, as I tend to create my own definitions for words and they don't often agree with others.

It ultimately doesn't matter what others think in regards to my definitions, as I am right. That said, if our definitions don't match, it means I'm going to have problems using this site to attract another person to me.

quote:

Hello, I'm Contentment. Nice to meet you. I get the name because I'm generally content with my life as a single.

I'm just patient, or rather more patient than other men seem to be. Yeah, a bit weird it seems. Probably should be more demanding on this site, but really, I'm generally content.

My interests from a love-relationship standpoint are definitely female. I enjoy the company of just about anyone from a friend standpoint. I pride myself on being able to engage just about anyone with a conversation on just about any topic - if I don't know it, I at least listen.

I enjoy hugs from either gender, but I've never really thought of hugs as something sexual, it's more a feeling of physical connection with another, real person.

Now you're probably wondering why I'm on this site. I mean, if I'm really content, why on such a site.

Truth is I really don't have a clue, it's sort of a gut feeling of this might be where I belong. Do I have dark thoughts or sadistic tenancies, certainly, but I don't let them control me. Same with my sexual nature, I control it. I prefer to control most things in my life, or at least, actively choose to not control them. Mostly, I think, I'm seeking some company.

Perhaps more later on, but I'm patient, it will happen in it's due course. I'm certain of that.

As for the whole sub/dom lingo on this site, I'm not submissive. If dominant, I'm certainly more patient that dominants often are. I often find myself hard to categorize.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Thank you for any help.

Post #: 1

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 9:35:18 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I think you are in process of finding yourself, and ain't quite found yourself yet.

And there aint a goddam thing wrong with that. I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Contentment)

Post #: 2

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 10:09:39 AM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
Status: offline

Your profile comes across very general. If I were looking, I'd probably pass over your profile simply because you say very little about who you are as a a unique individual. What are your hobbies? What do you do for fun? What words do you live by? What do you seek in a partner? What type of personality do you have? Without this information, how can I, as a sub, figure out if we may be compatible on the most basic levels? What is there to spark my interest and make me want to know more?

I understand that you are not yet sure of what you want. That's fine. But say that this is the case bluntly, without tiptoeing around the fact as if it is something to be embarrassed about. Put yourself out there. Lots of people enjoy conversation and hugs. Tell me something unique about you.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 3

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 10:10:34 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

i think you're being honest about who/where you are, so i don't really see a problem with that.
it seems like you're more interested in making friends than in "attracting someone to you," at least that's the tone i get from what you've posted. it definitely has the "window shopping" feel to it; someone who is looking for a relationship might look over you, buuut... they say you find what you need when you stop looking. =p
you've mentioned that you're "patient" several times, though; maybe you should elaborate on that more than just "more patient than other Doms."

good luck and enjoy the site.

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 10/11/2011 10:11:20 AM >

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 4

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 11:00:43 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It meanders too much. The whole hugs thing for instance left me scratching my head.

I also am curious how many dominants you know that you've decided patience isn't a dominant characteristic. Because to many of us, it certainly is. Stomping your feet and demanding immediate gratification which is the opposite of patience, certainly doesn't sound dominant to me.

In the simplest terms, do you want to make most of the decisions in your relationship? Or are you just as happy if someone else plans everything and you just have to go along? Here, he's the decision maker and the dominant. I prefer not to have to make them and just follow happily.

Instead of talking about the stuff you aren't yet sure of, talk about the things that you are passionate about. Don't just talk about sex and kink, talk about who you are as a person. Because most of the time you spend with someone else is not going to be sexual. If you don't like each other enough to have a meal, go to a movie, support each other in times of stress, then sex/play isn't going to be enough to carry the relationship.

The one characteristic that is dominant is confidence, not arrogance. If you talk about the stuff you are sure of, you will be confident about them, and people will see that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 5

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 11:47:30 AM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

It sounds like you are still not quite sure how to identify yourself, which is totally okay. There's nothing wrong with that, everyone has to start somewhere. But your profile also seems really generic, I mean you don't say a lot about yourself. True, there are lots of interests in your list on the left side, but you don't say much about your personality in your essay portion that you've copied and pasted here in the thread. I would probably pass your profile by, since it seems you're not really sure where you fit and therefore I wouldn't be sure of where you fit either.

(in reply to Contentment)

Post #: 6

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 12:02:02 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Unless you want to convey that you are hetero-flexible, just check off Straight and kill these sentences:

quote:

My interests from a love-relationship standpoint are definitely female. I enjoy the company of just about anyone from a friend standpoint.

I enjoy hugs from either gender, but I've never really thought of hugs as something sexual, it's more a feeling of physical connection with another, real person.

I don't get a sense of you as a person, just the work in progress, so ditto to what the posters above me said.

Welcome to the site, and get thee to a munch.

(in reply to Contentment)

Post #: 7

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 12:13:32 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline

depending just what you are here for it is either pretty fucking good, or it sucks rhino dick.

if you mean to say "hi, i'm not really sure if i belong here and i'm just checking this shit out" then it rocks. if you are in fact trying to hook up with somebody then its a damn good thing you're so fucking patient.

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to Contentment)

Post #: 8

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 1:27:02 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

what Hannah said.

Personally, your profile would appeal to me.. although that is largely because I am not looking. However, I would lose that last line. Certainly, online lends to the impression that dominants are impatient, but there are quite a few folks on these boards that can attest to the fact that this is not always the case.

Kudos to being honest and well spoken... IMO that puts you miles ahead of most...

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)

Post #: 9

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 4:49:00 PM

tolovetolaugh

Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline

While it's all well and good you are ok not being in a relationship... you say it far to much in your profile and journal, and it kind of deters one from seeing you as looking for something romantic. Not sure if that's what you want to get across.
A very passive profile.
It really comes across as someone who second guesses themselves a lot. Being polite is great until you carry it over to boring.

_____________________________

That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 10

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 5:19:09 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

To be honest, it didn't grip me.

I'd recommend reading LillBoPeep's profile as an example of a well-written one. She states who she is, and who she's looking for. No passive voice.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)

Post #: 11

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 6:20:39 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I'd recommend reading LillyBoPeep's profile as an example of a well-written one.

And of course I had to perv her profile. Nice. :)

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 12

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 6:34:34 PM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline

Hey thanks DS :)

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 13

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 7:05:18 PM

Contentment

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/27/2011
Status: offline

Hmm...thanks for the feedback. Writing one of these is much harder that I initially thought. It's the self flattery combined with honesty that really ties me up. I don't want to be misleading, but I do want to catch their eye. A very fine balance.

I'll think about it and get a new one up. Thank you for the help.

PS: Someone mentioned polite as boring. I do come across as boring in online encounters, certainly aware. I do find a certain level of energy found in my off line behavior to be non-transferable into an online conversation or in profile posts.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 14

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 7:40:11 PM

tolovetolaugh

Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Contentment

Hmm...thanks for the feedback. Writing one of these is much harder that I initially thought. It's the self flattery combined with honesty that really ties me up. I don't want to be misleading, but I do want to catch their eye. A very fine balance.

I'll think about it and get a new one up. Thank you for the help.

PS: Someone mentioned polite as boring. I do come across as boring in online encounters, certainly aware. I do find a certain level of energy found in my off line behavior to be non-transferable into an online conversation or in profile posts.

You should try funny!
Putting a splash of humor in a profile is always a good thing. It takes away the boring, and if you make the girl smile that is a huge step in getting her attention.

_____________________________

That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to Contentment)

Post #: 15

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 7:47:31 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

polite isn't boring and neither are manners... they're both good things..

that said, everyone has much nicer words than I do... you seem rather wishy washy... and if you think you're dominant, I'd change that.. you don't need to be a hard ass, or a jerk to be dominant, but you certainly might want to come off a bit more assertive in a good way.. or even just a bit stronger...

not sure why you need to be one or the other... take your time... explore.. enjoy...

oh, and do some of that offline

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Contentment)

Post #: 16

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 8:00:27 PM

NewImprovedDom

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

you've mentioned that you're "patient" several times,

good luck and enjoy the site.

Yeah he's gonna have to be really patient if he keeps writing crappy profiles like that

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 17

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 8:08:18 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Holy shit, NewImprovedDom, I had to click on your picture to get a closer look because I wasn't sure if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Now I'm sorry I did....

(in reply to NewImprovedDom)

Post #: 18

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 8:10:59 PM

NewImprovedDom

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby

Holy shit, NewImprovedDom, I had to click on your picture to get a closer look because I wasn't sure if I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Now I'm sorry I did....

Oh c'mon you know you loved it

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)

Post #: 19

RE: Looking for critique of my profile (dominant). - 10/11/2011 8:11:37 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Had to perv DS's and LBP's profiles and they are both good - clear about BDSM interests and also included mention of vanilla aspects. I was able to get a sense of y'all both as people and kinksters.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 20

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