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On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 3:53:55 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		So I have been on this site for some time (since I was 18) on and off.

I have talked to several prospective "Dominants" but never felt as though it was a right fit.

Now I have a very high level of patience, but my needs are getting the best of me. I can't settle for just being in vanilla relationships. It literally has almost driven me nuts.

So in an effort to quench my deviant thirsts, I've be playing around with the idea of doing some work with kink.com. I've been viewing their work and I know that they will be able to satisfy my quest to let myself be myself (a submissive.) This would be my first time doing something adult related and I am a bit hesitant. I wish to persue a career in healthcare and I'm not sure, for the lack of a better phrase, if this choice will come back and bite me on the ass.

I mean, will my future Dom look at me differently for doing this? I know I'm mentally prepared to do it, but the possible repercussions are haunting me. I am 100% honest with those whom I talk to so I wouldn't keep this as a skeleton in my closet.


Any input here?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:00:16 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		I would worry more about how it might affect your career in healthcare than how it may affect some unknown future Dom.

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:06:45 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		The career path I'm going down is very behind the scenes, so I'm not too concerned about being out in the public eye.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:10:40 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		It isn't so much being in the public eye but a matter of background checks that are considered necessary for a lot of healthcare careers.

You are obviously going to do what you want to do, but my vote says working for kink will bite you in the ass when it comes to your real world career.

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:12:09 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		Point taken, and duly noted.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:16:14 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		OP - you do realise that Kink is filming - and there would be little continuity in what they do - as in, even if you are getting into what is going on, there would be the possibility that the "scene" would be stopped. It isn't like it is on film.....

and apart from that, people in healthcare are viewed as being in a sensitive profession - you might have trouble being hired if you are known to be a "porn star".

(in reply to searching4mysir)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:29:18 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		I would use an alias. I should state that ultimately I am seeking a 24/7 situation. If that person decides to let me continue to work and/or continue on my education, then I would continue along that road. I am only 22 and have also been considering switching gears and becoming a computer engineer.

Perhaps I'm just being to indecisive... but I would really appreciate a Dom's POV.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 4:48:24 PM   
Scooternjng


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/14/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: egregiousGEM22

I would use an alias. I should state that ultimately I am seeking a 24/7 situation. If that person decides to let me continue to work and/or continue on my education, then I would continue along that road. I am only 22 and have also been considering switching gears and becoming a computer engineer.

Perhaps I'm just being to indecisive... but I would really appreciate a Dom's POV.


Stick to healthcare. There will always be sick people while computer engineers are still a dime a dozen. I would have no problem with you working or furthering your education, were I your Dom or owner. Its hard enough in this economy to live by yourself on some incomes, trying to do it for two is a recipe for disaster

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 5:04:05 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		While I personally have nothing against the adult industry, the truth is that future Doms, children and employers may think less of you for participating.

I'm sure that if you use a little imagination, you can think of an alternative.









< Message edited by kalikshama -- 10/11/2011 5:06:09 PM >

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 5:13:25 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You're 22 years old, and attractive enough that Kink.com is a possibility.  You cannot find a Dom.  What am I missing here?

Are you attending local functions, such as munches?  What kind of Dom do you think will make a good match?

And I do have to agree that a lot of so-called Doms here are guys who could not get a woman's interest in the vanilla world...


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 6:26:16 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: egregiousGEM22
I wish to persue a career in healthcare and I'm not sure, for the lack of a better phrase, if this choice will come back and bite me on the ass.

I mean, will my future Dom look at me differently for doing this? I know I'm mentally prepared to do it, but the possible repercussions are haunting me.

I can't say how your future Dom will feel about an "adult career choice," but I can tell you that in health care there are rules against "moral turpitude," such as in my career which is Nursing. Also, as has already been mentioned, there are background checks before you get your license in many professions(including mine) and, yes, a bad choice now can come back to bite you in the ass. I've had my ass bitten multiple times.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 6:32:47 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you for that insight. Coming from somone who is in the profession I wish to persue, you have really made me think twice.

Once again, thanks!

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 6:38:18 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		No I don't currently attend local munches. I think I'd feel like a rabbit amongst wolves.

As far as the Dom I'm seeking- I work off instinct. So far that has been kinda working for me. I seek a natural Dominant with a varied kinky streak. My list of no's is extremely short so I'm very willing to please. This can be a hinderance because I can be compatable with a lot of people, but not be compatable in many other aspects...

Does that make sense?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 6:52:49 PM   
Hisprettybaby


Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: egregiousGEM22

No I don't currently attend local munches. I think I'd feel like a rabbit amongst wolves.

Do you have a kinky friend you can go with, so you don't have to go alone? Then you can watch each other's backs, so to say. That's how I went to my first munch, with a kinky gal friend.

~Hisprettybaby~

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 6:56:38 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline 		I understand about the munches bit. I have always been to afraid to go by myself also.
The compatibility is also familiar, you are very adaptable, so just because you CAN fit in anywhere, you often do, even if it does not fit all your needs. And since you like making people happy, you can often convince yourself making them happy is enough, even when all your needs are not met- which can lead to frustration.

Once you find the right guy you will find it all works out though. :) Just have to be patient, and don't settle for those beneath your standards until you find him.
I also feel the kink porning would be a bad idea. While it might give you satisfaction in the short term, are you the type of person who will one day feel ashamed of that past? Are you earthy enough you can smile and talk about it with confidence and happiness, or will you constantly feel it is a past you will need to hide from any man you are interested in, making you insecure and less willing to be open?


_____________________________


That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 7:02:14 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Before cm changed a few of their people used to post here, namely Stephan and charlete. What they do is porn it has little to do with actual Ds or relationships. Lots pf the younger tng crowd and the typocal doms that chase little girls love the place. The foutth floor is as cool as ot looks but i know people who have also had bad experiences and franlky the grand or so they pay compared to what your career is worth is fucking stupid.

(in reply to Hisprettybaby)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 7:10:51 PM   
egregiousGEM22


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		tolovetolaugh....are you a kindred spirit of sorts???


That's my problem exactly. How do I tell someone that I get along with well, that I don't think they're the one for me? It definitely leaves a person in a "WTF" frame of mind and I hate doing that.

hisprettybaby- sadly no, i do not have any kinky friends. If anything, I'm the one friend that's "out there".

(in reply to tolovetolaugh)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 7:11:51 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline
quote:

I wish to persue a career in healthcare and I'm not sure, for the lack of a better phrase, if this choice will come back and bite me on the ass.
big time. with motherfucking big ass razor sharp teeth and a hunger that puts fucking tantalus to shame. here's an example of the sort of shit you are lining yourself up for.





Attachment (1)

_____________________________

clique? i don't need no stinking clique!

fuck a duck ~w. disney

My Twitter: http://twitter.com/HannahFuck

i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
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RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 7:34:04 PM   
tolovetolaugh


Posts: 648
Joined: 4/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: egregiousGEM22

tolovetolaugh....are you a kindred spirit of sorts???



I have been through that desperation of needing the kink. Trust me, I made stupid decisions I now regret. I let my desire to please, and penchant for trusting people to not hurt me, put me in bad situations, with occasionally bad outcomes. I consider myself very lucky that my occasional stupidity didn't land me in worse ones and that most of my lessons were not to painful. I have yet to allow pictures of me get on the internet though, and considering your career path- you need to be worried about that.
It's not just over your career. You said among your friends you are the one who is out there. How would you feel if any of those friends happened upon those pictures? How about your family?
It is the internet, and how much you want to bet you have a teenage cousin somewhere who is trolling porn sites, the crazier the better. There is a very good chance it will happen eventually.

There are a lot of things to consider.



_____________________________


That which yields, is not always weak. —
Jacqueline Carey (Kushiel's Dart)

I wrote a porn!
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3840531

(in reply to egregiousGEM22)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: On a mission to end my despair.... - 10/11/2011 7:35:47 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		How would working in the porn industry help you meet your needs for a relationship? The only difference between being in the porn or working a corner is one is filmed... You are still being used by random ppl.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HannahLynHeather)
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