RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (Full Version)

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caitlyn -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 1:52:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
you girls are just so darn smart, I hope the guys in your life recognise that


Thanks for the kind comment ... but of course most guys really don't want a smart girl.
 
Probably a topic for a different thread. [:D]




PlayfulOne -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 2:09:01 PM)

Caitlyn,

As a man who has always looked for strong intelligent women, trust me such men exsist.   Some of them even know how to recongize a jewel when they see one.

K






ScooterTrash -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 3:03:34 PM)

Nina,
It's the nature of a public forum board that on occasion, something will strike you wrong. For the most part, I think most folks just state their opinions and go on, but some do tend to come out as the resident experts and either directly or inadvertently, proclaim that their way is the only way...those tend to get me fired up. And of course there are those who will simply take a stance on the opposite side of the field, just because they can. There really are some people on the boards who simply like to debate and it's entertaining to them, so they will always throw fuel to the fire. I don't see it as bring too sensitive if some posts upset you, or even tick you off to a point...it is sometimes a good thing to have someone test your values and make you do a double take on your thought process, just to make you validate it in your own mind (even if you don't type what you are thinking). I have to admit I have had some rather heated discussions on these boards as well as some others, but I don't really hold anything personally against the poster actually, I just have to plan my next post with care and try to be convincing in an attempt to make them rethink their position. If you are passionate about the way you feel, it's easy, if you aren't so sure...hmmm, then maybe they have a point. They in turn have to make accurate counterpoints...we all learn something from the exchange. Does it always end in agreement? Rarely actually, but it does exercise the mind and even though you may have to get a tad "hard" in your statement of your points, I think everyone walks away gaining something just from the discussion. Perhaps don't let it get to you on a personal basis so much, but surely don't restrain yourself so far as to not have any mental reaction to it at all either. I look at the mind the same as any other muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it will be when you really need it.




CreativeDominant -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 3:54:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
you girls are just so darn smart, I hope the guys in your life recognise that


Thanks for the kind comment ... but of course most guys really don't want a smart girl.
 
Probably a topic for a different thread. [:D]


It may well be a topic for a different thread...hmmmmmmmm..."Do male dominants want smart female submissives?"
I'm not sure whether I agree or disagree with your statement.  Throughout the various places I've lived, in differing levels of occupation, I've observed guys who wanted smart women...for the excitement of having someone that they could things over with, for the challenge of making them try harder, for various reasons.  I've also observed those men who truly wanted a woman who was no smarter than they and in many cases, dumber.  They found it easier to control these types of women and the women seemed to hang on their every word.

As for me, I like smart women.  I love to talk and converse about many things...at length (casting dagger eyes at those who know this and may be coughing loudly right now)...and I like someone whose interests and intellectual pursuits involve more than BDSM, their guy, and what they should wear tomorrow.




MistressOfGa -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 4:26:43 PM)

quote:

I find it mildly piques my interest when I see a skinny person speak up when thinness is devalued. It kind of makes me want to say "Aha. Now you know how fat people feel almost every moment of every day when their weight is devalued routinely on television, magazines, playgrounds, nightclubs, and by society in general." 30 million fat jokes are ok, but 1 thin joke sends the skinny lassies running away in tears or vehemently defending themselves. It sucks to be in the person’s shoes who is being devalued based on physical attributes, but most people don’t notice any sort of "problem" with it until they are the one in those shoes.

 
I love this. I couldnt agree more. It amazes me for the same reason.





NINASHARP -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 5:58:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Nina,
It's the nature of a public forum board that on occasion, something will strike you wrong. For the most part, I think most folks just state their opinions and go on, but some do tend to come out as the resident experts and either directly or inadvertently, proclaim that their way is the only way...those tend to get me fired up. And of course there are those who will simply take a stance on the opposite side of the field, just because they can. There really are some people on the boards who simply like to debate and it's entertaining to them, so they will always throw fuel to the fire. I don't see it as bring too sensitive if some posts upset you, or even tick you off to a point...it is sometimes a good thing to have someone test your values and make you do a double take on your thought process, just to make you validate it in your own mind (even if you don't type what you are thinking). I have to admit I have had some rather heated discussions on these boards as well as some others, but I don't really hold anything personally against the poster actually, I just have to plan my next post with care and try to be convincing in an attempt to make them rethink their position. If you are passionate about the way you feel, it's easy, if you aren't so sure...hmmm, then maybe they have a point. They in turn have to make accurate counterpoints...we all learn something from the exchange. Does it always end in agreement? Rarely actually, but it does exercise the mind and even though you may have to get a tad "hard" in your statement of your points, I think everyone walks away gaining something just from the discussion. Perhaps don't let it get to you on a personal basis so much, but surely don't restrain yourself so far as to not have any mental reaction to it at all either. I look at the mind the same as any other muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it will be when you really need it.


Very well said, thanks Scooter for your response.  I have found that I'm learning alot by those who are doing exactly what you state here. You are one of them. Think I'll have to start utilizing that admirer list on CM and put myself on yours.

Nina




NINASHARP -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 6:18:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

I find it mildly piques my interest when I see a skinny person speak up when thinness is devalued. It kind of makes me want to say "Aha. Now you know how fat people feel almost every moment of every day when their weight is devalued routinely on television, magazines, playgrounds, nightclubs, and by society in general." 30 million fat jokes are ok, but 1 thin joke sends the skinny lassies running away in tears or vehemently defending themselves. It sucks to be in the person’s shoes who is being devalued based on physical attributes, but most people don’t notice any sort of "problem" with it until they are the one in those shoes.

 
I love this. I couldnt agree more. It amazes me for the same reason.




I don't advocate what they show on TV or in magazines, and I feel it is a bit sad when people buy into that hype of seeing images of perfection and think that is the product they need, in order to fit in. Noone is perfect, not even the air brushed models who appear that way in a picture or film.  Yet,  I personally don't resort to making anyone the blunt of a joke so I guess I am a little sensitive when those do this. BTW, I am sure there are as many "fat" people jokes as there are dumb blond jokes. In fact, I bet there are even more. So yeah I know a little bit about how those shoes you speak of, feel. Being a natural blond woman and all. 

Nina




NINASHARP -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 6:24:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

As a fat person I don't have a problem with the word fat. To me it's more about HOW the person says it than WHAT they say. The word "rubenesque" can be said with just as much hatred and derision as the word fat if that's what one intends. The only term that makes me bristle is BBW because in my experience the majority of overweight women who use this as a term of empowerment really don't feel all that good about themselves and seem to use it as a way to prop themselves up (just in my experience, I'm sure there are some out there who really do like themselves the way they are and aren't just trying to convince themselves of it). I have excess adipose tissue. That makes me fat. As a general rule I don't find that descriptor any more  offensive than any other.

quote:


I don't like to use the word "fat." I don't know why, maybe it's like Proprietrix said, maybe it is an issue I have with myself. I am comfortable being underweight, but having to raise a child who was considered highly overweight genetically, and watching him struggle as an adolescent, and with all the bullying that he got, and all he really just tried so hard to fit in with the cool "thin" kids. It just really bothers me that someone could be labled as anything with such negativity behind it.

I agree the remarks were rude, but yes I also thought it even harder to read "my master hates fat ppl" posts. I'm just too sensitive for these kind of things.



That is good that you have been able to use that word and not have a problem with it. I guess I still connect it to that negative label which my son had to hear all the time. Good point, and it is the way it is said, but unless its meant in a PHAT type of way, I still have a problem with it.
Thanks,
Nina




NINASHARP -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/25/2006 6:31:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tasha_tart

I can sympathize with your feelings on this.  I too get the same reaction fairly regularly to posts I see here, kind of a "WTF is wrong with his/her head?"
 
Sometimes I will reply to it, but more often I either type out a reply and delete before posting, or wait till the urge to reply goes away.
 
I usually ask myself a few questions:
  • will my post add anything to the discussion?  "I think you're an idiot!" is rarely a productive effort.
  • is there any upside to this reply?  Sometimes one looks just as bad as the original post by gracing it with a reply.
  • am I being too sensitive?  Just because I've had a button pushed, doesn't mean I have to vent that for the whole world to see.
  • am I really trying to further debate? 


If I can't satisfy myself that my reply is worth the effort, and my burning desire to flame the offender into oblivion wanes as I type my rebuttal, I usually hit "Cancel."
 
If I haven't felt immediately moved to reply, I may think on it for a while.  Usually the feeling passes. [:D]
 
Tasha


Yes, WTF!! I am finding myself doing that alot lately.  Thanks for your advice. It isn't just here on CM but on any BB on the internet. I guess there is always a clique thing in any group and until I'm around for a while longer and know how and why people express themselves, I'll just try to be helpful and stay out of the flames.

Thanks
Nina




ScooterTrash -> RE: Is there any sense in being so sensitive? (5/26/2006 5:10:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

Very well said, thanks Scooter for your response.  I have found that I'm learning alot by those who are doing exactly what you state here. You are one of them. Think I'll have to start utilizing that admirer list on CM and put myself on yours.
Nina
And you did...I'm flattered. Oh my...if you track "my posts" I don't know that I'll be a good example however..lmao. If nothing else, we can compare those blonde jokes you were talking about..ha ha.




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