RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post

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MistressJulia1 -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 5:41:48 PM)
What a crock of shit he has no right topping from the bottom in my play room. He pays to be dominated that is what he will get of course i take into consideration his fetishes interests and hard limits because I am a professional Dominatrix. But its my session and I will run it my way. Top from the bottom in my session your gonna expect a serious punishment. I am a professional Domme not a bloody actress. Hes paying to get lost in my control and creative mind. i love my sessions and my subs come back again and again. I expand their limits and both sides love my session. No one writes me a script. If they are not genuine submissives they can get lost. No one gets away with running my show. Mistress Julia Professional and Lifestyle Domme with over 20 years experience.

MstrssScarlet -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 6:11:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR OP: Any sub at all somehow has to square a) the feeling of being controlled with b) the fact that he or she has the power to give that control to someone else, or not. It's a paradox, and one which can be quite difficult to resolve. Me, I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum from your 'troublesome client' (shall we call him). A pro-Domme session couldn't work for me partly because I could never get past the idea that I'd paid the pro-Domme in question for services - which makes her, albeit temporarily, a 'servant' to me. However, following from that, I could (just about) imagine a client who's resolved that paradox in quite a different way. Instead of relinquishing control, he gets off on controlling the ways in which he's being controlled. He simply does enjoy both, illogical though that may seem. Or perhaps not. Another possibility is that he's very, very reserved about relinquishing control and is too scared to do anything but 'script every word of the play'. But I'd suggest: ask him - get him to talk. I, for one, would be fascinated to learn how D/s works in his head. I'd also love to know how he'd respond to a comment like "You know, if you let yourself go, and let me take more power over you, you might enjoy these sessions more than you can imagine". If he refuses to talk - then I think you're likely to have the 'too scared to submit' type - and the prospects don't look good. This is the kind of insightful stuff I like to see posted. Lafayette, I don't know what your problem with sex workers is but you are way off in soooo many ways. Unfortunately I don't have the time or desire to go line by line as you did in order to tear down everything you said. Thank you Lucy and Mistress Julia for bringing some sanity to what was becoming another "pro domme put down" thread- when it wasn't being derailed anyway. Mistress Scarlet

Muttling -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 6:13:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet I used to pro domme on a pretty regular basis before my health went bad. Every so often I get an email from a former client asking if I'm going to take it up again. One in particular was always a pain in the ass to me. He continually topped from the bottom and he may as well have handed me a script when he walked through the door. Now, I always took into account what my clients liked and tried my best to work those kinks into the session. HOWEVER, I always tried to maintain at least the illusion that I was the one in control. That's the trick to being a good pro domme after all, right? When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think? Mistress Scarlet I'm wayyyy late to this thread and haven't read all of the responses, but I do want to add my 2 cents worth (and note that you're paying too much for it.) I feel Mistress Scarlet is totally correct. When I first started down this road, I visited a pro Domme and she remains a special person in my memory to this day. Not because she followed a script that I wrote, but because she was Dominant but also took into consideration what I told her. Topping from the bottom doesn't work, but a sub expressing his desires and a Top working those desires into a scene is fabulous.

SailingBum -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 6:34:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressJulia1 What a crock of shit he has no right topping from the bottom in my play room. He pays to be dominated that is what he will get of course i take into consideration his fetishes interests and hard limits because I am a professional Dominatrix. But its my session and I will run it my way. Top from the bottom in my session your gonna expect a serious punishment. I am a professional Domme not a bloody actress. Hes paying to get lost in my control and creative mind. i love my sessions and my subs come back again and again. I expand their limits and both sides love my session. No one writes me a script. If they are not genuine submissives they can get lost. No one gets away with running my show. Mistress Julia Professional and Lifestyle Domme with over 20 years experience. Really you claim to run the show blah blah... You very next statement you claim to take their "interests" into consideration. Uh im not the smartest guy around but even my pet rock knows you can't have it both ways. BadOne

MstrssScarlet -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 6:39:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Muttling quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet I used to pro domme on a pretty regular basis before my health went bad. Every so often I get an email from a former client asking if I'm going to take it up again. One in particular was always a pain in the ass to me. He continually topped from the bottom and he may as well have handed me a script when he walked through the door. Now, I always took into account what my clients liked and tried my best to work those kinks into the session. HOWEVER, I always tried to maintain at least the illusion that I was the one in control. That's the trick to being a good pro domme after all, right? When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think? Mistress Scarlet I'm wayyyy late to this thread and haven't read all of the responses, but I do want to add my 2 cents worth (and note that you're paying too much for it.) I feel Mistress Scarlet is totally correct. When I first started down this road, I visited a pro Domme and she remains a special person in my memory to this day. Not because she followed a script that I wrote, but because she was Dominant but also took into consideration what I told her. Topping from the bottom doesn't work, but a sub expressing his desires and a Top working those desires into a scene is fabulous. This sounds very much like what some of my former clients have told me. Thank you.

Lucylastic -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 6:43:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: MistressJulia1 What a crock of shit he has no right topping from the bottom in my play room. He pays to be dominated that is what he will get of course i take into consideration his fetishes interests and hard limits because I am a professional Dominatrix. But its my session and I will run it my way. Top from the bottom in my session your gonna expect a serious punishment. I am a professional Domme not a bloody actress. Hes paying to get lost in my control and creative mind. i love my sessions and my subs come back again and again. I expand their limits and both sides love my session. No one writes me a script. If they are not genuine submissives they can get lost. No one gets away with running my show. Mistress Julia Professional and Lifestyle Domme with over 20 years experience. Really you claim to run the show blah blah... You very next statement you claim to take their "interests" into consideration. Uh im not the smartest guy around but even my pet rock knows you can't have it both ways. BadOne you would expect someone to ignore a limit just to feeed someone elses "fantasy"? Just because they are getting financially rewarded? Would you say the same to a submissive whose wanted her to forget her limits because he is paying her room and board?

SailingBum -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:20:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: MistressJulia1 What a crock of shit he has no right topping from the bottom in my play room. He pays to be dominated that is what he will get of course i take into consideration his fetishes interests and hard limits because I am a professional Dominatrix. But its my session and I will run it my way. Top from the bottom in my session your gonna expect a serious punishment. I am a professional Domme not a bloody actress. Hes paying to get lost in my control and creative mind. i love my sessions and my subs come back again and again. I expand their limits and both sides love my session. No one writes me a script. If they are not genuine submissives they can get lost. No one gets away with running my show. Mistress Julia Professional and Lifestyle Domme with over 20 years experience. Really you claim to run the show blah blah... You very next statement you claim to take their "interests" into consideration. Uh im not the smartest guy around but even my pet rock knows you can't have it both ways. BadOne you would expect someone to ignore a limit just to feeed someone elses "fantasy"? Just because they are getting financially rewarded? Would you say the same to a submissive whose wanted her to forget her limits because he is paying her room and board? You really don't get it the fact that some cash has been exchanged has nothing to do with being in charge. Either your doing it your way or they tell you what they want and you compromise. So once you compromise you're not really doing it your way. Now once you bring cash into the equation the dom actually works for the person paying the pro is now nothing but a employee. The pro is going to respect my wishes or guess what she won't get my business anymore. She can talk all the smack she wants about doing it "my way" I ain't buying her line of BS. I actually pity the ppl that are so socially inept they have enter into this behavior <read pay for it> whether your the smackor or the smackee but that's another topic. Suffice to say my girl does what she is told. That is exactly how is works in my world. BadOne

LafayetteLady -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:21:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: Lucylastic I wouldnt play with someone who wanted a fetish delivery service, ....... Pro-dommes have and always have had an IMPORTANT role to play in this world. Deal with it edited for a typo with MstrssScarlets name As a pro domme, that is EXACTLY what she is, a fetish delivery system. Guy (or girl) pays pro to live out their fantasy. Playing and PAYING look much alike, but are very different. It ain't rocket science. Prostitutes have played an "important" role in this world (as in the world, not just the kink world) as well. Both tend to provide services to typically men, who for whatever reason, don't want those services from a woman in life. Sometimes because they are married, often because they don't want the hassle of a relationship. In "this" world (the kink world), the pro domme exists to those and to the guys who don't want a D/s relationship, they just want to pretend. You deal with that. She is NOT she has a choice if she loses a client , her loss no one elses, she isnt there for every kink, every pervert who thinks he can abuse a woman just because he is paying. IM not against prostitutes dearie..so dont pull that bullshit. Deal with it, she has a CHOICE her choice to NOT be a delivery service for HIM is no ones business but HERS yeah I can deal with it. any pro will tell you that paying doesnt guarantee they will get what they fantasise about. EVER A reality negates the fantasy role, it goes against limits or they just dont click they might get one or two sessions... its HER choice to see them again not his/hers/theirs Abuse? What planet are YOU living on? He asks for nothing not on her "menu" of services, so no abuse. She's just annoyed that he is in control of the session HE is paying for. Never said you had anything against prostitutes, so DEARIE, buck up, stop worrying about kevin's life and improve your reading skills. She doesn't have to take any john she doesn't want and no one here suggested she should. Nearly everyone, however, has pointed out that she is being paid to provide a service, and no one is paying for HER to enjoy herself. In fact, regardless of what her clients might tell her, her pleasure is secondary if they care about it at all. Considering she also mentioned that if she were in a relationship with the guy, she would be happy to follow his list of play activities start to finish, it's pretty obvious the OP is a little confused.

kalikshama -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:21:19 PM)
quote: Lafayette, I don't know what your problem with sex workers is but you are way off in soooo many ways. I've pro-subbed and I'm with Lafayette all the way on this thread. What I didn't like about pro-subbing was having to top from the bottom - most of my clients had no clue and I had to do quite a bit of training. They'd come in with a script, we'd negotiate, and have our scene. I had expected to get some masochistic or submissive needs met, but was quickly disillusioned of that happening more than randomly. I soon came to see it as the client's fantasy fulfillment - very different from BDSM in a relationship.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:26:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressJulia1 What a crock of shit he has no right topping from the bottom in my play room. He pays to be dominated that is what he will get of course i take into consideration his fetishes interests and hard limits because I am a professional Dominatrix. But its my session and I will run it my way. Top from the bottom in my session your gonna expect a serious punishment. I am a professional Domme not a bloody actress. Hes paying to get lost in my control and creative mind. i love my sessions and my subs come back again and again. I expand their limits and both sides love my session. No one writes me a script. If they are not genuine submissives they can get lost. No one gets away with running my show. Mistress Julia Professional and Lifestyle Domme with over 20 years experience. Honey I don't care if you have been doing it for 50 years, you ARE indeed an actess paid to provide a "scene." If you aren't acting, when you call him a pathetic little sniveling sissy pig, I guess that is what you really think of him. It isn't YOUR session, unless YOU are being paid for it. When someone visits a shrink, it isn't up to the shrink to decide what the patient will discuss. When you hire a painter, it isn't up to them to decide what colors walls you get. The only conclusion I have reached, is that my impression of the majority of "pros" around here is correct. You all seem just a bit too full of yourselves and really think you are more important to your clients than you actually are for the majority of them. But hey, you made it twenty years, so good for you. I have nothing against people being in the sex trade. I do, however, find it amusing when they try to present themselves as something other than being paid to provide that satisfaction.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:32:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet When this particular sub contacted me again I told him outright that I would never see him again because he was too controlling. His answer was that because he was paying for it, he should get what he wanted. I feel like he ruined his own sessions by always wanting to be in control and never allowing me to take the reins. What do you think? Mistress Scarlet First, I want to say I am not against ProDommes. The Pros fill a definite need. Supply & demand, without the demand there would be no supply. However you slice it, whatever you want to call it, the Pro is being paid to provide a service...the service of fulfilling someone's ultimate fantasy. That is what the customer is paying for. If he is paying for it, he should get it. If the Pro can't provide that for the customer she should be honest about that. For instance, if he wants actual sex and she doesn't provide that, she should tell him to go somewhere else. At the same time, if she does take on a customer, he is the one paying her and it shouldn't about her fun and satisifaction, it is about his. ProDomming is not about a personal D/s relationship and mutual satisfaction, it is a business transaction and that's all it is. Or am I wrong? I'm thinking that, even the Dommes who do both ProDomming & D/s in their personal lives, know the difference. No matter what the illusion is, a Pro really is service Topping and the customer should be able to say what he wants and get it. IMO ~Hisprettybaby~.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:34:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer FR OP: Any sub at all somehow has to square a) the feeling of being controlled with b) the fact that he or she has the power to give that control to someone else, or not. It's a paradox, and one which can be quite difficult to resolve. Me, I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum from your 'troublesome client' (shall we call him). A pro-Domme session couldn't work for me partly because I could never get past the idea that I'd paid the pro-Domme in question for services - which makes her, albeit temporarily, a 'servant' to me. However, following from that, I could (just about) imagine a client who's resolved that paradox in quite a different way. Instead of relinquishing control, he gets off on controlling the ways in which he's being controlled. He simply does enjoy both, illogical though that may seem. Or perhaps not. Another possibility is that he's very, very reserved about relinquishing control and is too scared to do anything but 'script every word of the play'. But I'd suggest: ask him - get him to talk. I, for one, would be fascinated to learn how D/s works in his head. I'd also love to know how he'd respond to a comment like "You know, if you let yourself go, and let me take more power over you, you might enjoy these sessions more than you can imagine". If he refuses to talk - then I think you're likely to have the 'too scared to submit' type - and the prospects don't look good. This is the kind of insightful stuff I like to see posted. Lafayette, I don't know what your problem with sex workers is but you are way off in soooo many ways. Unfortunately I don't have the time or desire to go line by line as you did in order to tear down everything you said. Thank you Lucy and Mistress Julia for bringing some sanity to what was becoming another "pro domme put down" thread- when it wasn't being derailed anyway. Mistress Scarlet Actually, I have no problem with sex workers at all. Think it should be legalized and unionized for the best of all involved. I'm NOT the least bit surprised that you are grateful to Lucy and Julia for their responses. They are the only ones who agreed with your delusions that you are more than just a sex worker. Because that's what pisses you off about all these posts isn't it? You have fancied yourself to be "above" all the other sex workers because you call yourself a "dominant" and aren't necessarily having sex. You really objected to being compared with a former street prostitute and rushed to point out how you were of a "better" class of sex pro. You take money to provide men with sexual gratification. I don't care if you are dusted in gold powder, while she was covered in coal dust. You BOTH, at the very base of things are there to provide sexual satisfaction. Oh, and you know what else? For the places where it is illegal, your arrest record isn't going to say you were a "special" prostitute, it is just going to say "prostitute." So yes, you are the same as every other sex worker. If it were legal where I lived, I might consider doing it myself. My desire to avoid criminal prosecution leads me in another direction.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 7:39:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery im not lying, it is a representation of me , the only difference is i selected it from the internet, but boo hoo, its hardly a hanging offence kevin Do you look anything, anything at all, like that picture on your profile?? Of course you are lying if it's not a picture of YOU. You are leading people to believe it IS you in that photo and it's NOT, that IS lying. Also, did you take that picture yourself? Is it a commercial photo? On the Edit Profile page it says: Please only post pictures you took yourself Please do not post commercial photos or artwork Please do not post explicit primary photos Why don't you just admit you're lying, Kevin. And while you're at it, get off your high horse about Pros. If you don't want to go to them, then don't, but frickin' leave the rest of the world to do what they want. ~Hisprettybaby~

kalikshama -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 8:11:05 PM)
/Invites academyforslaves and CBTDallas to participate/ /wishes LnTrainer was still around/

Lucylastic -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 9:14:07 PM)
oh get over yourself

HannahLynHeather -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 9:18:23 PM)
quote: my subs oh, don't you mean your employer?

lobodomslavery -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/12/2011 11:26:39 PM)
i unintentionally and innocently selected a picture from Google images not a personals or jobs website which have people's profiles and pictures on them. i would never do that. i trust that because it was on Google images that it was just a sample of a number of pictures not pertaining to anyone in particular. Putting it another way, i dont think anyone would post their image on Google generally and if they do what do they expect, how was i to know it was somebody out there or just a copy of a lot of images put together by Google a personals or jobs website is different kevin

xxblushesxx -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/13/2011 1:02:06 AM)
Ok, that's insane. You had to KNOW it was a real person. Just had to. OP, you do what you want to do; you answer to nobody but yourself. (and whoever you choose to answer to!) [:D]

MariaB -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/13/2011 4:32:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssScarlet This was not rent money. This was a sideline that I did for fun. I enjoyed the variety, not to mention getting paid to do what I enjoyed. It was work, but work I loved. My sideline of fun was having subs that were mine. They didn't get charged a dime. I was also a regular at clubs where I had some exciting fun with people, they didn't get charged either. quote: Lastly, I did not mention one important thing. He was always pushing for things that were sexual in nature. That was a hard limit for me and I told him so many times. He would always deny it of course, but if I followed his "script", that's where it always lead. Sex and sexual towards us is a hard limit for most of us, but how did you handle that little come on he was giving you? quote: And lastly, there are different categories of pro dommes. Some are in it for the money and that's it. They will take on any client no matter what. Some of us are not in it JUST for the money. We enjoy what we do and when we come across one client in 50 that just pulls us down every time we see them, it's time to let them go. The clients that I did let go invariably called me back later complaining about their experiences with another pro domme (or two) and asking to come back. To me a good pro Domme is someone who does this as a straight forward clean cut business. She provides the fantasy, in a nice chambers with a well mannered receptionist. She's very discreet, able to fit in with many different needs that a client may have, she does her job well, doesn't try and suck extra money out of them. Its a clean cut transaction from start to finish. Yeah there is a big difference between you and me. I didn't do this for pocket change, I did this full time five days a week and often 8 hours a day. I paid off my mortgage and saved enough that I could retire with a nice big fat bank account and I did all that without conning of fleecing a single person. If I couldn't fit someones needs then I used my network of good reliable Dommes and in turn they often sent me a client that didn't fit with them. Unlike you, I knew some good honest women that were doing this, who I wouldn't hesitate to recommend. And I did like my clients or at least some of them. I actually ended up in a two year relationship with one of them. All these years later I am still in touch with a good few of them. If your pro Domming, your a pro Domme. If you want to take peanuts and claim your doing this out of pure love of domination then I suggest you set up a charity and stop charging them tributes.

MistressJulia1 -> RE: Yet ANOTHER Pro Domme post (10/13/2011 5:02:30 AM)
Interesting the number of people making claims about what Pro Dommes are and do when by their own admission they have no experience of being one.

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